If you’re like me then you must have thought at some point.. what are some funny roasts i can use on my black friends? Well i got you covered. Let’s get one thing straight. If you’ve got a Black friend and y’all never roasted each other, can you really say you guys are friends? Real ones know that tough love is still love and that love sometimes sounds like, “Boy, if you don’t get your ashy knuckles off my couch” or “You showed up dressed like a clearance rack and had the nerve to speak.”
it’s not shade. It’s culture. It’s built into the DNA of cookouts, bus rides, barbershop lines, family reunions, and group chats that haven’t slept since 2015.
Roasting is the love language we use when we’re too proud to say “I love you” out loud, so we say “Look at you out here breathing loud for no reason.”
So today, we’re loading you up with some funny roasts for your Black friends that hit just right. These aren’t the tired, recycled jokes you’ve seen on Twitter since 2013. These are custom crafted, disrespectfully delightful, culturally rich clapbacks that only work when the vibe is right and the love is real.
Classic Childhood Comebacks
If you didn’t get roasted in school, were you even there? This section brings that nostalgic heat from back in the day cafeteria battles and playground flame wars.
- “Your knees so ashy, they got accepted into Hogwarts as white wizards.”
- “You got them Payless 3000s on. Not even the devil wears those.”
- “Your haircut look like it came with a receipt and regret.”
- “You built like the before photo in a protein shake ad.”
- “You don’t even walk in. You enter a room like a background character in GTA.”
- “Your teeth throwing up gang signs and none of them rep Colgate.”
- “You dressed like you lost a bet with a rainbow.”
- “You got your ears pierced at the gas station, didn’t you?”
- “Boy, your durag string longer than your resume.”
Outfit Roasts for Church, Cookouts, and That One Fit They Should Have Returned
Black friends will hype you up, no doubt. But if your outfit is doing the most with the least? You already know what’s coming.
- “You came dressed like an off brand gospel singer and a Chick-fil-A manager had a baby.”
- “That outfit louder than your Auntie’s laugh at a Tyler Perry play.”
- “You dressed like you just lost your job and got baptized in the same hour.”
- “Who told you lime green and orange was okay? They ain’t your real friend.”
- “You dressed like you sell fake perfume out of a duffle bag at the gas station.”
- “You look like every mall security guard’s final form.”
- “This your fit? You built like a traffic cone with opinions.”
- “Your shoes so shiny, I saw my future and got scared.”
- “You dressed like your tax refund just hit, but it’s gone now.”
- “You got more zippers than pockets. What secrets you hiding?”
Ashy Elbows, Crusty Lips, and Cocoa Butter Emergencies
Sometimes the roast ain’t about fashion. It’s about them showing up looking like they lost a fight with a chalkboard and forgot to use lotion on the way.
- “You so ashy, you could slide across a chalkboard and write a whole sentence.”
- “Your elbows got more crust than a Popeyes biscuit in July.”
- “Your lips look like they scream every time you smile.”
- “You don’t need lip balm. You need a spiritual healing.”
- “How your kneecaps look like the moon in 4K?”
- “Your hands look like you clapped erasers for fun and kept going.”
- “You so dry, your lotion walked out and said I can’t fix this.”
- “I thought you had socks on. Turns out that was just your ankles screaming.”
- “You ever heard of cocoa butter? Shea butter? Margarine? Anything buttery?”
- “You out here looking like you fight in the dust bowl.”
Musical Taste Roasts for the Friend Who Thinks Their Playlist Deserves a Pulitzer
These are for the Black friends who swear they’re music geniuses but got a playlist full of chaos and confusion. These funny roasts for your Black friends are for the ones who get the AUX and play songs that make you question your friendship.
- “Your playlist looks like it was built by a confused algorithm.”
- “You got the nerve to hate on my music, but you still bump Fetty Wap like he dropping tomorrow.”
- “Your taste in music is like your outfits. All over the place and none of it makes sense.”
- “You play trap one minute, gospel the next. Are you selling bricks or praising the Lord?”
- “You listen to music like you’re trying to time travel. Pick a decade and stay there.”
- “Every time you get the AUX, I hear the sound of my soul leaving the chat.”
- “Your rotation got more old Drake than a divorced uncle with a Bluetooth earpiece.”
- “You be in the gym listening to Summer Walker. No wonder you can’t bench 135.”
- “You play music like you’re auditioning for a movie nobody asked for.”
Celebrity Clapbacks for the Friend Who Thinks They’re Famous but Still Ain’t Verified
Some of your Black friends walk around like they’re one viral video away from a docuseries. Time to bring them back to Earth.
- “You act like you’re famous but your phone bill still getting paid in cash apps.”
- “You got 2,000 followers and 2 outfits. Relax, superstar.”
- “You really thought that one viral tweet was going to make you the next JAY-Z?”
- “Your brand is 80 percent reposted memes and 20 percent lies.”
Roasts to Use Only if They Can Take It
Use these with caution. They’re nuclear. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
- “You bring the energy of someone who’s been ghosted by life itself.”
- “You stay talking loud like volume equals value.”
- “You were born in July and still manage to be the coldest disappointment of the year.”
- “You laugh like your breath needs an exit strategy.”
- “You’re not ugly, you’re just consistently unprepared to face the mirror.”
Roast With Love or Don’t Roast at All
Roasting your Black friends is about culture, context, and connection. It’s a real bond thing. If you ain’t built like that, don’t try it. But if your friend can roast back even harder, let it fly.
Just remember though, for every line you drop, one is coming back. Keep your lotion close, your playlist clean, and your clapbacks loaded.