Unlike before, you can’t brutally roast an Apple product user by simply calling them iSheep.
Of course, even the Urban Dictionary says iSheep is the perfect derogatory term for people who are obsessed with all products by Apple Inc.
But there are more sassy ways to shut up an Apple fanboy or fangirl.
I remember attending a bachelor party with a group of friends where all of them had iPhones, and I was the only Android user.
They’d intentionally like to push my buttons about some of the stupidest things that their phone can do that they think mine can’t.
If you’ve been in such a situation before and you’ll be seeing those set of people again anytime soon, then you can quickly note down someone these roast punchlines I’m about to show you.
Our Top Favourite Roast Lines to Diss Apple Users
Many of the sassiest roasts I’ve come across online are always about the heavy price tags of the iPhone while it offers less value. But the inspiration for roasting Apple fans goes beyond that.
You can pick ideas from the ones below:
1. They Don’t need to roast Apple; their price tags do that for themselves.
“Don’t need to roast Apple; their price tags do that for themselves” is one of the smoothest ways to roast an Apple user.
This is because you’re mocking them based on facts. So they’ll even struggle to give a comeback to these roasts.
Just to enjoy essential accessories that should typically come along with a phone, Apple users are likely to spend extra hundreds of dollars to have them.
This is an area you can pick your roasting from that will get under their skin.
2. I use Android because I’m more into technology than fashion.
Another way you can cleverly roast an iPhone user or Apple fan is to tell them, “I use Android because I’m more into technology than fashion.”
Many of these Apple users are in the ecosystem for aesthetics and prestige among peers.
So you can make fun of them with that idea. It is also an indirect way to tell them that they don’t know Jack about technology, and they just follow the bandwagon to do stuff.
It pains when you tell someone they don’t have a mind of their own.
3. Good luck with your overpriced stagnation.
You can genuinely annoy an Apple user when you tell them their throwing money into an overpriced piece of tech that is stagnant.
Think about it: the iPhone, 13, 14 and 15 are all bunch of identical phones with different camera patterns (from the broad view).
So it makes sense to roast an Apple user saying that they use overpriced stagnation.
Other brands like Xiaomi and Samsung introduce actual innovation with their new flagship. We can’t say the same for Apple, can we?
4. Paying extra for less? That’s the Apple way, baby!
“Paying extra for less? That’s the Apple way, baby!” It is another sarcastic way to roast an Apple user.
It is humorous because you are also stressing the idea that these folks spend thousands of dollars on pieces of tech that would otherwise have been purchased for less under another name brand.
It is an indirect way of calling Apple users morons for wasting money on things that don’t give them value.
When you use a line like this, you can expect them to get riled up, but others around will laugh at the joke.
5. Is that a new iPhone? Not different from the previous ones.
If you want to diss an Apple user in a Sacarstic way, you can also tell them, “Is that a new iPhone? Not different from the previous ones.”
Despite the little upgrades here and there, one thing that has consistently remained the same over the past few years is the physical product design of the iPhones.
So, what’s the point of spending so much money on higher versions when there are no grand slide changes?
Stupid.
Tell them.
6. Your battery life died faster than your headphone jack
You can always dismiss an Apple User when they try to boast of their gadget by telling them, “Your battery life died faster than your headphone jack.”
It’s a clever roast line of comparison. It means that, unlike other phone brands, they can’t rely on their battery life despite how much they’ve paid to use the gadget.
Many people on online forums have complained about how their iPhone battery drains out quickly.
Fundamental issues like Screen brightness, Bluetooth®, GPS, or even your Wi-Fi connection settings, which would typically cause no harm in other products, can drain the iPhone battery when they are turned on.
Too sad for them.
7. Hey, at least your phone looks fancy… on the outside.
We have to admit that the iPhone sure looks fancy and appealing on the outside.
Well, we can call it gold because these phones cost an arm and a leg, but they don’t have the gold value.
“Hey, at least your phone looks fancy… on the outside” is a cheeky way to roast an Apple fan user.
You can use this in a light-hearted note. But not all iPhone fanboys will take it as a joke.
8. Android does more for less. Maybe that’s why you can’t afford both?
Instead of trying to look for a defective specification in an Apple product, roast the user and simply compare the value with that of Android.
Thus, “Android does more, for less. Maybe that’s why you can’t afford both?” sounds like a perfect roast to tell an Apple user.
You can easily buy a reliable smartphone for $400 and get all the necessary performance you need from a laptop.
But when you spend up to $3,500 for a MacBook and still face issues of multiple glitches and incompatibility, isn’t that absurd?
It’s just all about the hype and status. Sadly, society has embraced it.
9. “Wireless charging” sounds fancy until you realise you still need a wire for the wall.
One thing many Apple users boast of is the wireless charging capabilities. But they make it sound like other phones don’t have such features as well.
I once used a Samsung Note 10, and I enjoyed the wireless charging feature.
But then again, Apple users make it sound like the wireless charging happens without even an outlet—such a shame.
This is why I think the line “Wireless charging” sounds fancy until you realise you still need a wire for the wall” is another perfect roast you can use to diss an Apple user.
10. Did you get that notification about the new adapter you need to buy?
Another creative way to make fun of Apple users is to sarcastically tease them about buying new accessories, which is already a nightmare to them.
Trust me, they may not want to admit it, but the average Apple user would have a sting of discomfort every time they realise they have to shell out a few hundred bucks to purchase an additional accessory to their devices.
So when you ask them, “Did you get that notification about the new adapter you need to buy?” It makes them angry about this reality, and your mission is accomplished.
11. I Guess creativity isn’t part of the Apple aesthetic
“I Guess creativity isn’t part of the Apple aesthetic” is another creative way to make fun of Apple users.
Creativity in the sense that each flagship they introduce into the ecosystem is identical to previous ones with just a few tweaks in features or camera appearance.
It’s absurd to be a fan of such lazy innovation and yet still spend a lot to keep up with the trend.
So when you tell them Apple lacks creativity for a very loyal fan, it will annoy them.
They may even challenge you to mention other brands that have been creative with their aesthetics. So be prepared if you’re going to use this roast punchline.
12. My phone doesn’t need a fancy fruit logo to be impressive.
Whenever I want to roast an Apple user, one of the easiest ways to do it is to tell them, “My phone doesn’t need a fancy fruit logo to be impressive.”
I totally recommend this punchline for any situation, whether the Apple user is using the latest Apple creations or not.
Do you know how many Apple users like to take mirror selfies just to flaunt the Apple logo? That is perhaps the most prestigious thing about their devices — the logo.
So, this roast is a sassy way to call that out.
13. Looks like a computer and acts like a toy.
If you want a witty, short but clever roast line for an Apple user, you can never go wrong by saying, “Looks like a computer, acts like a toy.”
This means that, indeed, Apple products are sleek. From the outside, they are impressive.
Even the 14-inch MacBook Pro exterior is made of an aluminium alloy made of 100 per cent recycled aluminium. But what happened to its performance?
It causes a lot of slowdown. And guess what Apple does to that problem? They introduce the 16-inch for you to buy!
14. Battery life shorter than your attention span? Sounds about right.
Telling an Apple user, “Battery life shorter than your attention span? Sounds about right”, is a sleek way to make fun of their device performance, thus roasting them.
You can use this line in any situation because it’s general knowledge that many Apple products lag in the area of solid battery life.
15. Lost your charger? Get ready to sell your kidney.
“Lost your charger? Hope you have a spare kidney to sell” is another funny roast for Apple users.
You can tell them this one when you want to highlight the incessantly high cost of Apple accessories.
The truth is that many of these Apple fans are not comfortable with spending so much for little, but they won’t show it because of prestige and pride.
16. Let’s see how it runs after the following three mandatory updates
One of the most frustrating complaints I’ve heard from Apple users, especially those with iPhone 11, is the malfunction that came with mandatory updates.
They’d say that after updating their iPhone to 17.2.1, they can no longer connect to their network provider.
This is why I think telling an Apple user, “Let’s see how it runs after the next three mandatory updates,” is a sure way to roast them.
17. Does it fold?
You can take a cue from Samsung’s iconic TV commercial where they diss Apple by asking, “Does it fold?” to advertise the latest Samsung ZFold smartphone.
iPhones may be able to do many things. Since the iPhone 6, Apple has had nine different opportunities to bring something fresh. But instead, all they do is change the number of cameras, UI, and screen inch size.
So, with all these, does the iPhone fold?
No, it doesn’t; case closed.
18. So peer pressure really got you that much
“So peer pressure really got you that much” is an indirect way to roast an Apple user by implying that they use Apple products just to feel included.
According to new research by Piper Sandler, Apple’s iPhone is owned by nearly 90% of Gen Z.
However, a study has also shown that people are more likely to purchase a name-brand mobile device due to pressure from their friend groups to be in vogue.
So you can use this idea to roast the Apple users that they don’t have a mind of their own and are just following the pressure from people around. It also speaks a lot about their approach to life and living.
19. Wait until you see the electricity bill for keeping that tiny battery alive.
Another way to roast an Apple user is to tell them, “Wait until you see the electricity bill for keeping that tiny battery alive.”
I like this roast because it draws their attention to what they might not have been thinking before. The downsides of using such a demanding mobile device when there are other options to make life easier for them.
20. You need to be in the Apple ecosystem to be included in the friend group
Again, many teens use Apple just to feel among themselves. You can make fun of or ridicule someone who is using Apple by calling them out on this table.
My Final Take
Owning an iPhone or any Apple device doesn’t make someone superior.
If you use Android and someone tries to break-shame you for the green bubble, it only means they’re not your friend.
It’s okay to use the above roast lines on them, but you’re better off interacting with someone else.
It still amazes me to see that actual grown-ups think they’re rich just because they are a walking advertisement for a trillion-dollar corporation.
Well, news flash: your next Apple payment is due on the 31st of this month.