20 Painful Insults for a Biker

This article is perfect for you if you want to make fun of someone who fits into this description; it is full of meaningful expressions and accurate insults that will make them feel bad.

Table of Contents

Here are 20 painful ways to insult a biker

Your bike is so old it belongs in the museum.
I can’t see a bright future ahead of you, except for your headlights.
Riding a bike gets you closer to a wheelchair than old age itself.
Your prayers get answered easily while riding bikes since they take you closer to God.
you spend a lot on your bike, no wonder your bike looks kept and you are unkempt.
Your bike makes too much noise, I hope it gets stolen before it damages my hearing.
I would have challenged you to a car race but don’t want to embarrass you in front of your bike.
Riding your bike with a helmet on makes you look like a mushroom.
Your bike will take you places you never dreamt of, for example, hell.
Gasoline is what makes your bike different from the bicycle, I would rather walk than have yours.
Looking handsome while riding looks weird, are you trying to seduce danger or bruises?
No matter how expensive the bike is, riding a bike makes you look like a dispatch rider.
You are addicted to bikes, I am sure you ride your bike for indoor errands.
I would rather drink coffee in a gunfight, than ride bikes.
If you were as fast as your bike, you would have made it in life.
Nothing moves forward in your life except your bike
I saw you smile today while riding your bike. Have you written your will?
You love to ride without a helmet, what organs are you planning on donating?
I was told your dad gave you that bike, what did you do this time for him to want you dead?
Your bike must be so inconvenient with that much weight, your tummy alone should be heavier than the bike.

1. Your bike is so old it belongs in the museum

Everyone’s nightmare is an old noisy bike, we can sense the peace of the environment running for their dear life once the bike is 100 miles away. It starts noisily and ends with drama.

The truth is the owner isn’t getting a new bike soon, we are stuck with this moving nightmare that has celebrated more years on Earth than our ancestors.

You can also deliver your insult in this manner:

I thought Dracula was a myth, but your bike is the reason why I believe there is some truth in myths.

2. I can’t see a bright future ahead of you, except for your headlights

This is a constructive insult to your jobless neighbor, who does nothing all day other than go bike riding and cause unnecessary ruckus and trouble in the neighborhood.

He is a bad example to young kids and his annoying attitude can’t be overlooked for long because he is starting to get on your nerves.

You can also tweak your insult this way:

Your future needs more bright headlights than your bike does.

3. Riding a bike gets you closer to a wheelchair than old age itself

Most youths have this hunger for risk and showing off, they are always in a haste and hard to slow down. Young bikers learn risky tricks and move to show off to friends or bikers like them, which sometimes end up in fatal injuries to them if not.

This insult is for someone you know who is reckless with his bike and loves to show off.

If the Ghost Rider had been this reckless he would have ended up dead before he had the chance to sell his soul to the devil.

4. Your prayers get answered easily while riding bikes since they take you closer to God.

Bikers at high speed take more risks than foreign exchange traders who deal in forex because the faster the speed, the faster the accident rates per kilometer than cars, and the lesser the survival rate.

Bikers are more exposed to severe injuries than those who ride a car.

With a frown deliver your insult in this manner:

Am sure God intentionally did not grant your request for a new bike, he will do the same if you are to ask for extra life.

5. You spend a lot on your bike, no wonder your bike looks kept and you are unkempt.

Having a friend or family who loves to spend every penny made, on either getting a new bike or upgrading their old bike to look stylish, neat, or trendy, and refuses to spend a quarter of his earnings to look good and neat is always annoying.

They deserve every dot and line in this insult:

Your bike looks more good-looking than you if it could talk, definitely getting more girls while you get none.

6. Your bike makes too much noise, I hope it gets stolen before it damages my hearing.

Experiencing a disturbing sound at the moment of comfort can be annoying, especially after having a hectic day and you want to try to relax because you work another shift in the next hour.

This insult is going to liberate you and set you free for a couple of minutes to relax and get yourself together before going to work.

Here we go :

You don’t even have a bike, it is a monster, it doesn’t make noise, it screeches like Drekavac.

7. I would have challenged you to a car race but don’t want to embarrass you in front of your bike.

A biker with a good, expensive bike brags to everyone they meet, they brag to friends, colleagues, even siblings about their bikes and they tell you why they don’t need to buy a car because the bike is everything they want and need.

Keep them mute with this insult to correct such an idea:

I would have challenged you to a race with my car, but getting struck by lightning on a bike would be the worst way to die.

8. Riding your bike with a helmet on makes you look like a mushroom.

Bikers protect themselves from accidents with helmets and it is one of the major safety protective gear. But having the same red, round, polka-dotted helmet on for years can give anyone an unattractive look, basically since the round helmet looks old-fashioned.

This insult, if perfectly delivered, makes the rider get the message in a hard way.

Get a new helmet and stop looking like the major ingredient for a mushroom soup.

9. Your bike will take you places you never dreamt of, for example, hell.

Siblings or friends who love speed and speed love them, are always in haste to go everywhere and be everywhere, especially with a good-looking fast bike.

Speed is dangerous and could cause serious damage with a slight mistake.

This insult might save a life, but it is not going to be funny, especially to friends or siblings who don’t listen.

A quick tour to hell won’t cost a dime, your bike represents a first-class ticket that has you covered.

10. Gasoline is what makes your bike different from the bicycle, I would rather walk than have yours.

Not all bikes are fast, especially when they are old and tired of running, but don’t have a choice anytime they get filled with gasoline.

Your friend’s bike is so slow but it moves and he has decided he is not getting a new one soon. Maybe all he needs is the right insult for motivation and a change of heart.

Deliver your insult in this manner:

Your bike can get you in trouble, but too slow to get you out of it.
If we both get into trouble I can walk out of it and wait for you and your bike, and see if you will make it.

11. Looking handsome while riding looks weird, are you trying to seduce danger or bruises?

The first time getting a bike feels good, anytime you see a first-timer riding his new bike he just got, you see him smiling and happy.

But that’s where they forget about all the dangers of riding a bike, the scars, and bruises, from tiny mistakes, no one is perfect but we can all be careful.

Keep smiling on your bike and soon you will find out the cost of getting cosmetic surgery done.

12. No matter how expensive the bike is, riding a bike makes you look like a dispatch rider.

This insult is expected to win a conversation when your friend who is a bike enthusiast decides to diss you, this insult will deliver a perfect blow and silence them for a long time, since you came prepared.

School them up with this insulting statement that leaves lasting memories:

Your bike is expensive, but becoming a dispatch rider is when you and your bike get to fulfill your calling on Earth.

13. You are addicted to bikes, I am sure you ride your bike for indoor errands.

Riding bikes can be addictive, we all have friends who don’t like to walk, and you always see them with their bikes, and taking a short stroll seems forbidden to them.

Remind them that walking also is a form of exercise with this insult:

Am sure you ride your bike from the living room to the bathroom, anytime you want to have your bath.

14. I would rather drink coffee in a gunfight, than ride bikes.

No matter the safety associated with riding bikes some of us won’t like to go that lane ever, maybe because we have experienced a bike accident, or seen scars from riding bikes or life-threatening injuries. And no matter how convincing a bike looks it is always a NO.

Insult your biker friend with this statement:

Every step with your bike moves you closer to your grave, not your age this time.

15. If you were as fast as your bike, you would have made it in life.

This a comeback insult any rider won’t recover from for a long time, insulting a rude friend with this statement will remind them to take their trouble elsewhere or get burned.

Deliver your insult this way:

Without your bike, even a snail would leave you in the dust, if life was a race.

16. Nothing moves forward in your life except your bike.

The best way to shut an acquaintance who loves to get on your nerves, day in and day out, is with this witty statement, especially since he is a biker.

This statement will ring in his mind all the way home while on his bike and will be careful next time with a second thought before saying anything rude to you.

You would be finishing several laps behind if life were a bike race.

17. I saw you smile today while riding your bike. Have you written your will?

This insult is perfectly designed to address your friend who never smiles, is ever focused, and never carefree while riding his bike.

But since he is having a good time today, deliver this insult to keep him focused and something to think about.

This is the first time you have done something clever, smiling and riding your bike.

18. You love to ride without a helmet, what organs are you planning on donating?

Wearing a helmet is part of a rider’s safety gear, it protects and helps to prepare in case there is a collision.

Having a friend who doesn’t like to follow rules and regulations can be so annoying, watching them play with danger every day.

Deliver your insult this way as hard as a fist:

Since you enjoy riding without a helmet, you donated your common sense, and now you are thinking of donating organs.

19. I was told your dad gave you that bike, what did you do this time for him to want you dead?

Having a friend who loves taking risks, and practices dangerous things is a pain in the butt, and the pain just got better because his dad gave him a bike, which makes you scared, knowing his reckless nature, and this makes you concerned.