You’re trying to talk to someone, but they’re ignoring you and acting like you don’t exist. It’s rude and disrespectful, and you’re getting fed up.
You want to give them a piece of your mind, but you don’t want to stoop to their level.
That’s where these roasts come in. When someone is ignoring you, it’s important to approach the situation with humor and light-heartedness.
If you are being ignored by someone and you need help with funny roasts to give them as a response, then this article is for you.
I have provided 25 playful roasts, witty comebacks, savage replies, classic punchlines, and deep humor to use when someone is ignoring you.
Below are 25 Funny Roasts for Someone Who is Ignoring You
- Ah, the silent treatment. I didn’t realize we were playing a game of ‘Who Can Ignore Each Other the Longest?
- I guess you’re practicing for a future career in mime. Your ability to pretend I don’t exist is truly impressive.
- I see you’re embracing your selective hearing skills. Must be a new talent you’re developing
- You’re like a real-life ghost, disappearing whenever I try to engage in a conversation.
- I didn’t realize I needed to send a search party every time I wanted your attention.
- I’m glad we’ve upgraded our relationship to ‘professional ignore-ers.’ We should start a club!
- You must have a PhD in the art of ignoring. Your dedication is truly remarkable!
- I guess I must have accidentally activated my invisibility cloak. No wonder you can’t see or hear me!
- I didn’t know we were playing a game of ‘Who Can Be More Disinterested?’ I’m totally winning, right?
- You’re like a human mute button, always on whenever I try to talk to you
- I heard ignoring people burns calories. Are you trying to stay in shape?
- I feel like I’m in a one-person show called ‘Talking to a Wall.’ Your performance is outstanding
- I’m starting to think I should hire an interpreter just to communicate with you. It seems to be the only way
- I guess I should congratulate you on your impressive ability to dodge conversations. You should join a dodgeball team
- You’re like a walking ‘Out of Office’ email. I can never reach you
- I didn’t realize I needed to submit a formal request to have a conversation with you. Shall I fill out a form?
- I guess I should start sending smoke signals to get your attention. Maybe that’ll work
- I must have taken a wrong turn into the ‘Ignore Zone.’ Is there a secret password I need to enter?
- I’m glad we both agree that talking to each other is highly overrated. Silence is golden, after all
- I didn’t know ‘ignoring’ was the new trend. You should walk the runway with your excellent skills
- I’m starting to think you’re auditioning for a role in a silent movie. Your dedication is inspiring
- I didn’t realize you were practicing your ‘Zen master’ skills. You’re a true master at ignoring
- I’m like a mosquito, buzzing in your ear, but I guess you’ve developed immunity to my annoying presence
- I heard ignoring people is the secret to unlocking the fountain of youth. No wonder you’re looking so young
- I hope ignoring me comes with a prize at the end. I could use a trophy for putting up with it.
1. Ah, the silent treatment. I didn’t realize we were playing a game of ‘Who Can Ignore Each Other the Longest?
You and your friend are having a little misunderstanding, and you have just arrived at their house.
Without a word, they opened the door for you and went back to what they were doing before your arrival, without acknowledging your silence.
It has been 30 minutes since your arrival at their place, yet they are not saying anything to you- basically, they have chosen to ignore you.
Break the awkward silence using this roast for them:
- “I’m pretty sure you’d be the world champion of the ‘Ignore-lympics’ – you’re a true master of the art of the silent treatment
- The ‘Silent Games’ have found their reigning champion – you!
2. I guess you’re practicing for a future career in mime. Your ability to pretend I don’t exist is truly impressive.
You are still at their place and they are feigning being engrossed in a work that their mind isn’t there.
They are trying hard to even forget someone exists in the room, by not looking in your direction.
Go ahead to roast them with these classic punchlines:
- You’re a mime in the making – your talent for ignoring people is truly unparalleled!
- Your ability to pretend people don’t exist is truly world-class.
3. I see you’re embracing your selective hearing skills. Must be a new talent you’re developing
Now the tension even just intensified with the awkward situations. You are saying things to them but you’re not getting any response from them.
Being ignored can be annoying especially when you are making efforts to be heard by the other party.
Go hot on them with this classic burner:
- Do you have an ear defect or you’re going deaf gradually?
- You’re like the champion of ‘selective aural dexterity’ – your ability to hear only what you want to hear is truly remarkable. I hope it doesn’t become a permanent ear problem.
4. You’re like a real-life ghost, disappearing whenever I try to engage in a conversation
Every time you want to have a conversation with them it is always a futile endeavor because upon seeing you’re about to talk, they excuse themselves.
Blow hot on them with this punchline:
- “Your disappearing act is truly impressive – perhaps you should consider yourself saving those who were kidnapped not saving yourself from this conversation.
5. I didn’t realize I needed to send a search party every time I wanted your attention
The next time they want to be evasive when you are about to start a conversation with them, stand up to them and be in their way first to get their attention, then make use of this classic one-liner for them.
I understand that it’s inevitable to not have arguments with your friends, partners, or colleagues, but what matters after every ruckus is to find a place for the resolution of any conflicts.
Harboring prolonged fights is bad for both parties’ mental health so there is the need to always resolve quarrels no matter how bad it is.
- I guess I need to start filing a missing persons report whenever I want to chat with you.
- I guess I should have known I’d need to call out the search dogs every time I want your attention.
6. I’m glad we’ve upgraded our relationship to ‘professional ignore-ers.’ We should start a club
You have been greeting your colleague at work without knowing he has a grudge against you. The only thing you noticed is that whenever you greet them, you don’t get a response.
Use this classic play on words for them. This roast might help them relive all they have in mind against you and further seek to have a conversation with you about what you did that hurt them.
- How about we start a ‘Society of Unresponsive Persons’ – dedicated to ignoring others with great dexterity.
7. You must have a PhD in the art of ignoring. Your dedication is truly remarkable
So you have a friend who has been holding a grudge with you for some years now. You are really surprised that even as the years pass by, they are yet to resolve the issue with you.
Do not be surprised. Some people are good at keeping malice. I have been in those shoes before where a friend of mine ignored me for years, and every time I’m just in awe at how she managed to do that when I have nothing against her. Just let them be. It’s not you, it’s them.
The next time you come across them, walk up to them with a smile and say:
- You must be a chronic grudge-keeper. Your consistency is truly remarkable. I applaud you.
That shows you are the bigger person here.
8. I guess I must have accidentally activated my invisibility cloak. No wonder you can’t see or hear me
If you’re being ignored by someone, you can make them look dumb with this roast.
Also, it positions you as the confident and outspoken one when you say things as they should be instead of joining them in an ignoring contest.
- I must be completely transparent to you – no wonder you can’t hear or see me
- It’s like I’ve suddenly turned into Harry Potter’s ‘cloak of invisibility’ – you can’t see or hear me! ”
9. I didn’t know we were playing a game of ‘Who Can Be More Disinterested?’ I’m totally winning, right?
Another classic burner for someone who is ignoring you. You met them at the party and they are avoiding you like a plague. Don’t worry, here is a roast to release their glued mouth.
- I guess I’m not even in the running for the ‘Disinterest Olympics’ – you’ve got the gold medal locked up
- I clearly can’t compete with you in the ‘Indifference Games’ – you’re in a league of your own.
10. You’re like a human mute button, always on whenever I try to talk to you
Since all they know how to do better is ignoring you, then go ahead and give them a title. Make it a daily thing to call them by this title until they get tired of ignoring you
- I didn’t realize I was talking to a human remote control – someone who can turn off the volume at will.
- “You’re like a human TV remote – the mute button is always on whenever someone tries to talk to you.
11. I heard ignoring people burns calories. Are you trying to stay in shape?
If your fat friend is ignoring you then use this classic burner to playfully tease them.
This is a funny roast that suggests that they are into an ignoring contest with you because they found out it is an easier way to burn fat, compared to going to the gym. It is a very funny and effective way to poke fun at them.
- I heard you want to become slim by being on a crash diet of ignoring people – no wonder you added me to the list of people you are ignoring
- Ignoring people must be so effective in burning many calories, happy workout day then.
12. I feel like I’m in a one-person show called ‘Talking to a Wall.’ Your performance is outstanding
A witty tease for your boyfriend who is ignoring you. You have been sitting close to your boyfriend for a long time now, and he has refused to say a word to you, rather he is engrossed in his favorite TV show.
Throw a shady tease towards him using this roast.
13. I’m starting to think I should hire an interpreter just to communicate with you. It seems to be the only way
You have been talking to someone and all they do is just keep mute- ignoring you. You know they are ignoring you but make them look stupid with this roast.
By this you are sarcastically implying that they don’t understand the language you’re speaking, hence the silence being given as a response.
Be more sarcastic in your delivery by adding “I apologize” before saying your roast:
- I promise to work on my language skills! I’ll try to learn your dialect, so we don’t need an interpreter.
- I apologize for the communication breakdown – I’ll try to speak your language more fluently in the future.
14. I guess I should congratulate you on your impressive ability to dodge conversations. You should join a dodgeball team
Here is a funny play on words you can use to roast someone who ignores you. Here, there is a play on words on Dodge, implying that they deserve to be in the dodgeball team because of their ability to dodge conversation.
- I think you should be in the: Olympics for evasion’- you would bring home the Gold medal for sure.
15. You’re like a walking ‘Out of Office’ email. I can never reach you
A clever roast to say to someone who ignores you. This roast makes a comparison to them being an ‘out of office’ email to portray their annoying act of ignoring people.
- You must be the most responsive ‘Out of Office’ message I have ever encountered.
16. I didn’t realize I needed to submit a formal request to have a conversation with you. Shall I fill out a form?
Suggesting that a form needs to be filled before you can talk to them is another hilarious way to roast someone who ignores you. This is a sarcastic remark that is sure to get to them.
- I didn’t realize I needed to submit a ‘Request for Chatter’ via carrier pigeon before I could have a conversation with you
17. I guess I should start sending smoke signals to get your attention. Maybe that’ll work
Another savage response you can give someone who ignores you is suggesting they need smoke signals before you can get their attention. This roast is sure to ridicule them and make them burn.
- I guess I need carrier pigeons, telegrams, or semaphores to get your attention.
18. I must have taken a wrong turn into the ‘Ignore Zone.’ Is there a secret password I need to enter?
I must have taken a wrong turn into the ‘Ignore Zone.’ Is there a secret password I need to enter? Is another punchline you can use to roast someone who is ignoring you. It is just a crazy way of ridiculing their annoying act.
19. I’m glad we both agree that talking to each other is highly overrated. Silence is golden, after all
Perhaps you have tried severally to stop them from ignoring you and they are still bent on ignoring you. You know you have tried your best, innit?
Leave them but give them a parting roast to reminisce on when you’re gone. At least, friendship isn’t by force but by choice. Never force anyone to like you.
- Less talking, more silence- that should be our new motto henceforth.
20. I didn’t know ‘ignoring’ was the new trend. You should walk the runway with your excellent skills
A sarcastic remark on someone who ignores you and who does well in that. Throw a jab at them for ignoring you, using this roast to set them straight.
- You must be ‘miss congeniality avoidant’ with the way you evade people.
21. I’m starting to think you’re auditioning for a role in a silent movie. Your dedication is inspiring
This is a hilarious roast to use for someone who ignores you. Implying that they are doing so well in ignoring you because they want to audition in a silent movie is a great way to make fun of them.
22. I didn’t realize you were practicing your ‘Zen master’ skills. You’re a true master at ignoring
Comparing someone who ignores you to a monk master who disconnects from his immediate environment to tap into the spiritual realm is a witty way to roast them.
Make sure you wear a smirk when you want to deliver your roast. This will make the roast more effective.
23. I’m like a mosquito, buzzing in your ear, but I guess you’ve developed immunity to my annoying presence
Even frustrate someone who ignores you the most with this roast. You can use this roast to get on your elder sister’s nerves.
You know she is fed up with you, make her more angry by using this roast. But a little warning: don’t stay too close, or else you might end up with a mark on your forehead.
24. I heard Ignoring people is the secret to unlocking the fountain of youth. No wonder you’re looking so young
A playful roast to poke fun at your pretty girlfriend who is ignoring you because you refused to buy her make-up kits. Tease her with this roast and watch her blush while frowning.
- Who needs makeup to be beautiful when you can use ignoring hacks for it?
25. I hope ignoring me comes with a prize at the end. I could use a trophy for putting up with it.
Give parting words to someone who ignores you using this dark humor to roast them. This is capable of mocking their feelings.