When people call you selfish chances are that they are manipulative, greedy, and not just appreciative of the little effort you put to make them happy.
People like that, if not avoided, can make you feel like you are not doing enough to save any ship you’re in with them.
When they call you selfish, do you dwell on the self-degrading words all day and allow them to ruin your happiness, or do you try to explain yourself in a good light?
Either of the above reactions is not as good as giving them a good comeback that is as sweet as revenge.
While comebacks are the best to use when riled up in a confrontation, it’s however difficult to come up with witty roasts.
That’s why in this article, I have compiled 20 funny comebacks, sick burns, and roasts you can use the next time someone calls you selfish.
These snarky comebacks are capable of defeating them flawlessly, and the best part of it is you are away in your winning robe.
Keep reading!
Here are 20 Best Comebacks When Someone Calls You Selfish.
- Selfish? Nah, I prefer to call it self-preservation.
- If looking out for myself makes me selfish, then I guess I’m just really good at it.
- Oh, calling me selfish? That’s cute. You must be new to the concept of personal boundaries.
- I’m not selfish, I’m just allergic to selflessness. It gives me hives.
- Selfishness? Please, I’m just the CEO of Me, Inc.
- If I’m selfish, then I must be doing something right because I always put myself first class.
- Calling me selfish is like calling a lion selfish for eating meat. It’s just nature, baby.
- I’m not selfish, I’m selectively generous. I choose who deserves my awesomeness.
- Selfish? Well, the world does revolve around me, so I guess you’re not wrong.
- I’m not selfish, I’m just a master at self-care. It’s an art, really.
- Selfish? Nah, I’m just really good at prioritizing my own happiness
- Oh, sweetie, being called selfish by you is like being called fashionable by someone wearing socks with sandals.
- Selfish? That’s just the word jealous people use to describe those who take care of themselves.
- If being selfish means not being a doormat, then I’ll wear that label proudly
- Selfishness is in the eye of the beholder, and I behold my own awesomeness.
- Who needs selflessness when you can have self-fulfillment? It’s way more fun.
- Selfish? I prefer to think of it as enlightened self-interest. It’s all about balance, darling.
- Calling me selfish won’t make your own insecurities disappear. Nice try, though.
- Selfishness is overrated. I’d rather be self-FABULOUS.
- Maybe I’m Selfish. But at least I’m not delusional enough to put everyone else’s needs before my own.
1. Selfish? Nah, I prefer to call it self-preservation.
Perhaps someone asked for help from you at the time that it was inconvenient for you, and you turned them down then the next thing they did was to call you names; don’t feel bad or stoop to their levels and call them names.
You don’t need to be apologetic about putting yourself first or displease yourself.
Show them you are unbothered and unyielding even in the face of abuse with this response.
- Selfish? No, that’s my survival instinct kicking in
- I don’t care if you call me selfish, I’m a believer of “me first” before anyone else.
2. If looking out for myself makes me selfish, then I guess I’m just really good at it.
If you have been tolerating someone for calling you selfish after countless explanations that you don’t have enough to give out, then quit explaining and use this comeback for them.
With this response, it will stop them from picking on you in the future or from calling you names.
- If excelling at self-preservation makes me selfish, then consider me the reigning champion.
- If prioritizing my well-being makes me selfish, then I must be setting records for self-care.
3. Oh, calling me selfish? That’s cute. You must be new to the concept of personal boundaries.
When it comes to begging, some people don’t know when to stop. It has become an addiction or let’s say a habit for them.
As annoying as it can be, once you decide to stop tolerating their covetous nature they take it that you are selfish.
The plan is to give them a snarky comeback so achieve that with this roast here, the next time a chronic beggar calls you selfish.
- Not only do you beg, but you are also dumb to differentiate between boundaries and being selfish.
4. I’m not selfish, I’m just allergic to selflessness. It gives me hives.
Here is an unmoved, and quirky response to lease out to someone who calls you selfish because you decided to stop being used by them.
People love to prey on individuals they can manipulate and control but you are not giving them that chance, not after you have stumbled on this article.
So when next someone calls you selfish because you have decided to live on your own terms, strike back with this quirky comment.
- Can’t argue with that – selflessness does seem to trigger an allergic reaction in me
- Guess I’ll stick to self-rule then, wouldn’t want to break out in hives from being too generous.
5. Selfishness? Please, I’m just the CEO of Me, Inc.
You are at the party with a group of friends then one of them says you are selfish and then adds that they are just joking.
Don’t bother arguing with them. Whether it’s a joke or not, this statement above is every reply they need to stop the “joke”.
The beautiful thing about this comeback above is that it uses a play on words to create more effect.
- Selfishness? Well, you just met the owner of “Me. Com”
- You can call me the queen of “me coast”. I will proudly take the crown.
6. If I’m selfish, then I must be doing something right because I always put myself first class.
Another smirky comment to use for someone who understands less about what you are going through and is quick to call you selfish because you declined their request.
This response is sure to snap them off their judgemental self, and also help to portray you as someone who cares less about people’s opinions.
- If being selfish means flying first class in life, then I’m not about to downgrade to economy.
- If prioritizing my needs puts me in the selfish category, then I’ll happily take the award home.
7. Calling me selfish is like calling a lion selfish for eating meat. It’s just nature, baby.
This comeback is for you if you have a troublesome brother who likes to burden you with requests.
But now, you have turned him down and he calls you selfish, don’t hesitate to make use of this.comeback to poke fun at him.
- Hey, if this is your definition of selfish then I accept my new name with pride.
- Call it selfish, I still won’t give you the pair of shoes you requested.
8. I’m not selfish, I’m selectively generous. I choose who deserves my awesomeness.
Here is another sick burn to give to someone who calls you selfish. This response is suitable for toxic people who think they have a say in your life.
Use this comeback to ward off toxic and undeserving people. This will perfectly convey your message to them that you are not interested in their opinions about you.
- I’m not selfish. I just consider you not worthy of my favor.
- Call me selfish but I only reserve my awesomeness for those who truly appreciate it.
9. Selfish? Well, the world does revolve around me, so I guess you’re not wrong.
Some people are just a set of ungrateful folks who demand a lot from you yet don’t have a sense of gratitude.
You have finally gotten the courage to cut them off, and now they call you selfish. Don’t let that get to you, rather give them a worthy comeback that will make them sore.
- Selfish? Can’t argue with the facts. Saying I’m selfish is just like you repeating the obvious.
- Hey, the world revolves around me not you so I will proudly wear the title of ” selfish” like a crown.
10. I’m not selfish, I’m just a master at self-care. It’s an art, really
A great comeback is all you need after you have broken free from an abusive relationship where you treated yourself less than the other party.
With this response, you are giving them a hint that you quit pouring more of yourself into a toxic relationship that gives you less than you deserve.
- Well, if mastering self-care makes me selfish, then I must be Picasso with a paintbrush.
- Call it selfish if you want, but I’m just perfecting the art of self-care – can’t pour from an empty cup, after all.
11. Selfish? Nah, I’m just really good at prioritizing my own happiness
When people call you selfish on the terms that you prioritize your happiness, then a classic comeback is what you need to set them straight.
Take your firm stance on what you believe in using this classic comeback.
- Prioritizing my happiness over everything else isn’t selfishness; it’s just smart living.
12. Oh, sweetie, being called selfish by you is like being called fashionable by someone wearing socks with sandals
When next you are called selfish, target their boorish fashion sense to a burning sensation around them. Believe me when I say they’re gonna burn from the heat of this comeback.
13. Selfish? That’s just the word jealous people use to describe those who take care of themselves.
Sometimes why people call you selfish is because they are intimidated by you pouring so much love into yourself. They just can’t stand the amount of self-love you give to yourself which they totally lack.
Now, even make a jealous person more clouded with jealousy with this comeback.
14. If being selfish means not being a doormat, then I’ll wear that label proudly
If people presently call you selfish because you refused to be someone they can cheat then even confront them boldly with a comeback as good as the one stated above.
- If not being a coward is what you refer to as selfish, then I want to be selfish for the rest of my life.
15. Selfishness is in the eye of the beholder, and I behold my own awesomeness.
Agreeing to the claim and using it to your own advantage is another witty way to give a comeback. Make a selfish person go crazy with this comment.
16. Who needs selflessness when you can have self-fulfillment? It’s way more fun.
Giving them the impression that you are not bound by their opinions about you hits more than anything.
It is what you should do when you are being called selfish.
Let them know you are unaffected by whatever perspective they have about you.
17. Selfish? I prefer to think of it as enlightened self-interest. It’s all about balance, darling.
Again, a clever response is what you need as a comeback for someone who calls you selfish. Confidently inform them that their sentiments about you don’t count a bit.
- Darling, it is not selfishness, it is simply enlightened self-interest.
18. Calling me selfish won’t make your own insecurities disappear. Nice try, though.
Taking a big jab at their insecurities is a perfect comeback for them. Why people love to call you selfish is because they are mostly insecure around you and are envious of what you possess.
19. Selfishness is overrated. I’d rather be self-FABULOUS.
Another witty comeback to give to someone who calls you selfish. This response gives you a sense of value and leaves your opponent feeling defeated.
- Better to be a self -star, please.
20. Maybe I’m Selfish. But at least I’m not delusional enough to put everyone else’s needs before my own.
Here is a sick burn to shut someone who calls you selfish. This is certain to make them mum for some minutes which is the best way to react to defeat.
- Thanks, but at least I’m not naive to prioritize people over me.