We all suffer from flatulence- an expulsion of gas from the anus, and, it can be quite embarrassing if you are being singled out as the culprit or being asked publicly if you farted.
Well, farting isn’t a bad thing to do, everyone does it; matter of fact- it’s a sign of healthy living so nobody should crucify you for letting nature have its way.
For this cause, I have prepared 20 funny and witty comebacks to use to shut someone up the next time they accuse you of flatulence.
Let’s dive in.
Here are 20 Best Comebacks to Use When Someone asks if you farted
- No sweetie, I didn’t fart. I just covered the room with a sweet serenade.
- If that were me, you would be in a coma by now
- Your house smells worse. How do you know that was my fart?
- It doesn’t smell that bad, your mouth smells worse.
- Yeah I did, it smells awful here anyway.
- At least you can still breathe, the last time you did I almost had amnesia.
- Everyone has a hobby, yours is to detect farts.
- If you get a dollar for every fart you sniff out, you would be rich by now.
- I did, my fart has more confidence than you.
- Ask your dog. I saw it tilt its ass
- Farting is a sign of good living. Tell me why I should be remorseful for that.
- Farting is normal. Behaving like a jerk isn’t.
- Nah. That must have been your faulty door making that screeching sound.
- You noticed first. Speaks more of you as the culprit.
- That’s just me texting my gassing skills. Wait for more.
- Oh dear, a little gas between friends shouldn’t hurt.
- Yes. Did I blow you away?
- No, it wasn’t me. It was the chair. It has a secret talent for making embarrassing noises.
- Oh, that wasn’t a fart. It was just the sound of my inner charm escaping.
- Well, they say silence is golden, but in this case, it might have been a little gassy.
1.No sweetie, I didn’t fart. I just covered the room with a sweet serenade.
The best way to manage an embarrassing situation is to make fun of it and act unbothered rather than allowing it to tamper with your self-esteem.
With this funny response, you are trying to pinpoint to them that farting shouldn’t be an embarrassing thing, and also confidently owning up to it is the best thing to do.
- No darling, I didn’t fart. I just covered the room with sweet melodies.
- No sweetie. That was just my behind playing a symphony for your amusement.
2. If that were me, you would be in a coma by now
A bombshell as a response is a perfect comeback to give someone who asked you if you farted. This is a creative and even funny way to affront and discard the accusation.
With this comment, you are confusing them and even inciting laughter from the listeners.
- If it were me, you would have been gasping for breath by now.
- If it were me, you have been choked by now.
3. Your house smells worse. How do you know that was my fart?
The next time someone asks you if you farted, make it a “you” problem by excluding yourself from the equation using this clever one-liner on them. This comeback is a clever one using their words against them.
With this remark, you are implying they have got personal hygiene problems to fix, and they rather concentrate on that.
- The smell in your house is worse. How are you aware that I farted there?
- My fart is competing with the smell in your house, even worse, it seems my fart will lose in this smell competition.
4. It doesn’t smell that bad, your mouth smells worse.
Again, there is something witty about turning the table around when someone tries to ridicule you in public.
This comment is the perfect one to use for someone who asked if you farted to disgrace you publicly. They have just set a trap for themselves if they truly have a mouth odor.
By using this comment, you have just cleverly outsmarted them and turned the situation against them.
- Oh! Don’t act like your mouth doesn’t ooze out a pungent smell than this.
- The odor from your mouth is worse than what we are perceiving at the moment.
5. Yeah I did, it smells awful here anyway.
Another clever comeback you can give to someone who asks if you farted is to develop a ridiculing situation around them. This insult is accurate for them if their house has this unpleasant smell.
When you give out this response, it makes them reflect on themselves for that moment while you stop being the target.
- Oh yes, I did but what does my little gassy smell got on the rotten smell in here?
- Yes, I did; in any case, this place smells terrible.
6. At least you can still breathe, the last time I did you almost had a panic attack
Admitting that you did fart might be an unwise thing to do but relax, this statement has a psychological effect on them and makes you more of a notorious person to them. Saying they had a panic attack is a creative way to make mockery of them.
- At least this is better, the last time I did you were wheeled away in an ambulance.
- Thankfully, you are still able to breathe; the last time I did you, you were gasping for air.
7. Everyone has a hobby, yours is to detect farts.
This is a friendly comeback to use for your homie who just asked if you farted, and to also brilliantly put a stop to further interrogations for them.
With this response, you are in every way not giving them the chance to embarrass you publicly.
- If detecting farts were an occupation, you certainly don’t need any CV to land a job in that field.
- If detecting farts were a sport, you will be the all-time winner of the category.
8. If you get a dollar for every fart you sniff out, you would be rich by now.
Using exaggerated lines as a comeback usually slams well in case you don’t know. By this, you are indirectly picking on their inquisitiveness especially when it is something unreasonable.
This is an effective and hilarious response to give to them when next they ask you if you farted.
- If you were paid for every fart you sniffed, you would have been a millionaire by now.
- If you had been consistent with your savings the same way you are consistent with asking questions when someone farts, you wouldn’t be anywhere broke by now.
9. I did, my fart has more confidence than you.
Perhaps someone is making a fuss about the fact that you farted, and he is picking on you in public.
Intimidate him with this comeback. It is more suitable to use when such a person in question lacks confidence.
- I admit to being the one that farted. Hope you can also admit to the fact that my fart got more balls than you do.
- At least my fart isn’t intimidated when it sees a crowd. Can you say the same?
10. Ask your dog. I saw it tilt its ass
Most times, it is best if you don’t give a straight response to them when you are being asked if you farted.
Infuriate them a little by playing around the seriousness of the matter. This will help to frustrate them and make them tired of asking.
- That sound looks like it erupted from your dog’s asshole.
- Interrogate your dog. I witnessed it toss its ass.
11. Farting is a sign of good living. Tell me why I should be remorseful for that.
The next time someone tries to bore a hole with their looks because you let out some gas, make them understand that only healthy people fart and you are proud to be one of them.
This comment describes you as someone who is bold even in the face of jest-making.
12. Farting is normal. Behaving like a jerk isn’t.
Some people can be annoying with reactions, especially on trivial matters. Some even go to the extent to humiliate you in front of others for something everyone does.
With this response, ward off a total jerk and even make him realize what a jerk he is.
- It is understandable to fart but being a total jerk is not logical.
13. Nah. That must have been your faulty door making that screeching sound.
Again, tweaking the situation to be more of a “you” thing than being the focus of fun is a good way to accomplish a comeback. This will make them dwell on their faulty side and also make them feel defeated.
- That sounds more like your crippled door. My fart has a better quality sound.
14. You noticed first. Speaks more of you as the culprit.
A witty response to give it to someone who asked if you farted. Using their question against them is the best comeback to use on them.
This sounds more humiliating and defeating especially when they are in the company of people.
- It appears you are the only one perceiving the smell. It explains the logic behind you being the culprit.
15. That’s just me texting my gassing skills. Wait for more.
After admitting that you fart, people expect an apology from you. Rather than giving them an apology, get on their nerves with this response and watch them filled with rage to your delight.
- Next time I fart, I’d make sure it is so majestic that angels would sing about it.
16. Oh dear, a little gas between friends shouldn’t hurt.
You have just released an awful gas from your asshole that has just upset your friend and he is quite irritated about it.
Make a light joke of it to reduce the anger your friend feels using this response. This response is effective in making your friend laugh a few moments away from him being angry.
- Fart? That was just my body saying I love you in a special way.
17. Yes. Did I blow you away?
Use this response to tease your friend who has just asked you if you farted. This is a witty and at the same time funny comeback to use for them that will surely make the hair on their skin rise.
Using this response might make them want to throw something at you so be careful.
- Yes. Did the quality of my fart increase?
18. No, it wasn’t me. It was the chair. It has a secret talent for making embarrassing noises.
Making a fool of someone who asks you if you just farted is another great way to poke fun at them and even make them lose interest in finding who farted.
To make it more effective, when delivering this comeback, make sure to feign ignorance of the accusation. This will make them even more confused.
- Oh, that wasn’t me. It was my pet skunk hiding nearby. He likes to make surprise appearances.
19. Oh, that wasn’t a fart. It was just the sound of my inner charm escaping.
This response here is for you if you have already been caught red-handed that you farted, and so the situation requires you to be more crafty with your response.
Using this response will make you sound more funny and even crafty such that all they get to do is just laugh hysterically.
- This is a particular smell I am proud of. For this fragrance, I claim it with my full chest.
20. Well, they say silence is golden, but in this case, it might have been a little gassy.
Another instance where you have been caught red-handed for gassing is using this witty roast “Well, they say silence is golden, but in this case, it might have been a little gassy”.
This is a witty way to be evasive from answering the yes or no question.
Also, it is capable of inducing laughter from everyone.