20 Funny Comebacks When Someone Says Your Breath Stinks

If you have been in a situation where someone decides to make you the punchline of their joke, you would agree that it is never a great feeling.

Such is the feeling of embarrassment that envelops one when you are being told that your breath stinks.

However, you don’t have to take shit from people that try to make you the object of their scorn or pleasure.

Having a good comeback is essential because not only does it put a stop to the teasing, but it also boosts your self-confidence to stand up for yourself in the face of a bully.

That’s why I have curated 20 funny comebacks to use when someone tells you your breath stinks. They include savage, clever, and hilarious comebacks that you can use in any setting.

Table of Contents

Here are 20 Funny Comebacks When Someone Says Your Breath Stinks.

My breath stinks? That’s just my way of testing who’s brave enough to stick around.
Thanks for the update on my breath. Now, can we talk about your lack of filter?
If my breath stinks, it’s just my way of keeping the bad vibes away. You’re welcome.
I like to think of my breath as a ‘conversation starter’ – it gets people talking, right?
Thanks for the heads up, I’ll stay away from the garlic next time.
Honestly, I was going for the ‘stinky breath’ look today. Nailed it, right?
Oh, is that why your houseplants keep wilting?
I guess that’s what happens when you breathe pure awesomeness.
I didn’t know my dragon breath was showing, thanks for pointing that out.
Yeah, I’ve been practicing my killer -breathing skills.
I’m just trying out a new cologne called ‘Eau de Garlic’.
Well, at least my breath keeps your bullies away.
I must have accidentally used my dog’s toothpaste this morning.
Thanks for the memo, I’ll be sure to keep my distance from everyone.
I call it my ‘breath of death’ special.
It’s my new superpower, what do you think?”
I’m just seasoning the air for everyone’s enjoyment.
I was saving my minty fresh breath for a special occasion.
If you don’t feel like passing out then I’m not sorry.
I’m just testing out my new ‘stinky breath’ perfume. What do you think?

1. My breath stinks. That’s just my way of testing who’s brave enough to stick around.

When someone says your breath stinks, a clever comeback is required to be used to avoid your tormentor succeeding in humiliating you.

With this response, you sarcastically acknowledge the accusation, while asserting yourself as even a greater bully because there is no sign of remorse or embarrassed reaction to give them.

Denying them the opportunity to see you hurt is a good way to get back at them, and also make them feel weak.

Oh, my breath stinks? Well, my breath is like a loyalty test for friends. Only the real ones will stick around.

2. Thanks for the update on my breath. Now, can we talk about your lack of filter?

Aside from giving them a dismissive reply, another effective comeback for your critic is to turn the tables against them and go on to make them the subject of mockery while excusing yourself from the situation.

By using this statement, you bring their weaknesses into view and stage them for humiliation.

It takes one to know one – but at least I can mask my odor with mouthwash.

3. If my breath stinks, it’s just my way of keeping the bad vibes away. You’re welcome.

By saying your bad breath is a way of keeping bad vibes away you humorously introduce a twist in the conversation while reframing the situation in your defense.

This implies that they are the cause of your bad breath because they have bad vibes, hence they shouldn’t complain about your breath rather they should hold their bad energy responsible.

It’s a clever way of moving yourself from being the focus of humiliation to being the one who humiliates.

You can call it bad breath, I call it a spiritual cleansing.

4. I like to think of my breath as a ‘conversation starter’ – it gets people talking, right?

Giving them the “I don’t care about how you feel” response is another great comeback to use, and the best way to assert your confidence in their presence.

Knowing that you purposely decided to hurt them will sting them better, especially when they thought they would be getting an apology from you.

If people are talking about my breath, at least they’re not talking about me.

5. Thanks for the heads up, I’ll stay away from the garlic next time.

Creatively make a joke around their attempt to embarrass you. With this statement, you humorously acknowledge their comment about bad breath and jokingly blame garlic as the cause of bad breath.

This should be used if you want to employ a calm and sarcastic way of responding to your faultfinder.

I’ll make sure to brush my teeth – but you’ll have to brush up on your manners.

6. Honestly, I was going for the ‘stinky breath’ look today. Nailed it, right?

Again, sarcastically embrace their idea of you having bad breath to make them look stupid. With this statement, you are conveying to them that you intentionally had a bad breath and you’re not sorry about it.

This statement is capable of making them scared of you and might cause them to always filter the way they speak to you next time.

My personal brand is ‘bad breath’ – and I’m killing it.

7. Oh, is that why your houseplants keep wilting?

Taunt them with this comeback to make it sting hard. By using this statement, you are playful suggesting that the bad breath is so potent that it affects the health of their house plants.

Indirectly, you are telling them to stay away from you also, or else their health will be at stake.

Figuratively, you are telling them that you are a bigger threat that shouldn’t be joked with.

My breath is so strong that even plants can’t handle it.

8. I guess that’s what happens when you breathe pure awesomeness.

Here is another creative comeback to use when someone says your beware stinks.

This comeback uses humor to deflect the criticism and brings in a positive outlook by indicating that the bad breath is a byproduct of being overwhelmingly awesome.

The usage of this statement will deprive them of the opportunity of publicly disgracing you.

My breath is like perfume but for awesome people.

9. I didn’t know my dragon breath was showing, thanks for pointing that out.

This comeback draws from the mythological idea that a dragon’s breath can kill.

Saying that you are practicing your killing skills with bad breath shows that you are joking around what they expect to be a humiliating statement.

This will weaken them because their effort to ridicule you was futile.

Yeah, I’ve been practicing my killer -breathing skills.

10. Yeah but I expected you to be half-dead by now.

Another hilarious response to give to them when they say your breath stinks is “Yeah but I expected you to be half dead by now”. Using this comeback as a response will do the job of making them go crazy.

If my breath is this strong, you must be superhuman to be able to stand it.

11. I’m just trying out a new cologne called ‘Eau de Garlic’.

Another humorous comeback to set them straight. Referring to your bad breath as a type of Cologne is a sarcastic way to make your opponent feel defeated.

This response places you above your opponent and replaces you with them as the laughing stock.

I bet it’s the hottest new scent of the season.

12. Well, at least my breath keeps your bullies away.

If they happen to be the intimidated one, create a funny analogy with this roast.

It is a creative way of excusing yourself from embarrassment while also imposing the act of gratitude in them for your bad breath. This is so hilarious, and a funny way to make them look foolish.

If my breath keeps all the bullies away then I will keep it up.

13. I must have accidentally used my dog’s toothpaste this morning.

Nothing hits better than reducing an embarrassing situation to nothing but comedy.

With this roast, you humorously shift the blame and focus from you to an animal, a way to convey to your critic that you are too funny to be taken down or humiliated.

That must be my dog’s unique odor that you are perceiving.

14. Thanks for the memo, I’ll be sure to keep my distance from everyone.

Another snobbish response to give to someone when they say your breath stinks is “Thanks for the memo, I’ll be sure to keep my distance from everyone”.

This comeback sarcastically acknowledges the comment but cleverly rises above being the victim.

I’m creating a new social distancing standard – ‘stinky breath distancing.

15. I call it my ‘breath of death’ special.

” I call it my ‘breath of death’ special” is that witty statement to say to someone when they say your breath stinks.

Not only does it add a dramatic flair to the situation, but it also brilliantly makes you look victorious in the ugly situation they intend to drag you into.

I forgot to tell you that my breath is so lethal, that I should have given you the warning label.

16. It’s my new superpower, what do you think?”

Posing that your bad breath is something extraordinary is also a defeating remark to use on your critic. This statement will help to intimidate them and make them scared of preying on you next time.

Just call me “Odor-man”; the one who clears a room with one breath.

17. I’m just seasoning the air for everyone’s enjoyment.

Suggesting that your bad breath is intended to enhance the air’s flavor like a seasoning is a funny comeback to use on them.

This is capable of making fun of the embarrassing situation while thrashing the effort put to insult you.

I like to think of myself as an air freshener – with a twist.

18. I was saving my minty fresh breath for a special occasion.

Implying that your bad breath was a deliberate choice, and you were just waiting for the right moment to strike is another way to get back at them. This will definitely leave them stricken with defeat.

I wanted to make sure my breath was minty fresh for this momentous occasion.

19. If you don’t feel like passing out then I’m not sorry.

Use this comeback to create a psychological effect on them. This statement will portray you as a notorious person to them. Saying they will pass out if you indeed stink is a creative way to make a mockery of them.

If you can’t take the heat, then get out of my breathing radius.

20. I’m just testing out my new ‘stinky breath’ perfume. What do you think?

Another creative and even funny way to affront and discard the accusation is saying “I’m just testing out my new ‘stinky breath’ perfume.

What do you think?”. You are defusing the situation with this remark and even getting the audience to start laughing.

Yeah, I’m tasting out my new pungent fragrance.

Footnote

Having a quick-witted response to someone who tells you that your breath stinks can be a fun and lighthearted way to diffuse an awkward situation.

Using humor to respond to a potentially embarrassing comment can help to ease tension and make both parties laugh.

The 20 funny comebacks we have explored in this list are great examples of how to respond to a teasing remark about bad breath in a playful and clever manner.

So, the next time someone tells you that your breath stinks, don’t let it get you down.

Instead, use one of these funny comebacks to turn an awkward situation into a lighthearted moment. Remember, a little humor goes a long way!