The best and spicy insults that can be carved out for an Australian are cooked from a variety of things that the Australians are known for.
Let me start with a little background for you. Australians are people who live in or come from the country of Australia. They are known for their laid-back culture, their love of outdoor sports, and their unique sense of humor which makes it more fun to roast them.
Also, their country is one of the coldest countries, and they are notable for their unique accents.
These distinctive features make the best recipe for Australian jokes. With that in mind, I will be providing you with 30 funny and spicy roasts to use on an Australian. They are so witty that it slaps more than the cold over there.
List of 30 funny roasts for Australians:
- I don’t expect you to say anything sensible, I understand where you came from is really cold and must have frozen your sense of reasoning.
- Only an Australian has a dumb way of saying ‘no’.
- I hear Australians are known for their beer. Too bad it doesn’t do anything to improve your sense of humor.
- Oh, you think you are funny? Well, you are as funny as a barrel of monkeys with arthritis.
- The only thing you are capable of showing your affection for is the Koalas.
- I bet you’re an Australian because you sure do know how to make even the simplest joke sound like a bloody ripper.
- So, you’re Australian. Nice kangaroos! Can I have your twin brother as a pet?
- You have limited sensible ideas, very small like your continent.
- You must be so proud of your country, the same way I’m really proud of my freezer.
- I hear Australians are known for their hospitality. Too bad it doesn’t extend to their sense of humor.
- I don’t expect you to be less scary judging the fact you came from a continent full of creepy creatures.
- Nice surfboards! Can I borrow one to hit you over the head with?”
- You are as tall as a short giraffe.
- I bet you’re Australian because you sure do know how to make even the worst dad jokes sound like a fair dinkum laugh.
- How do you know an Australian has walked into a bar? The flip-flops give him away.
- What do you call a sleepy Australian? A dozy down under!
- Why did the Australian take two boomerangs to the beach? Because he couldn’t remember where he left the first one.
- What doesn’t kill you makes you an Australian.
- Y’all must be from Australia because you sure do know how to make the most out of every boomerang.
- Your head looks like those marshmallows you plant.
- I bet you’re Australian because you sure do know how to make even the simplest joke sound like it just stepped out of a Crocodile Dundee movie.
- You don’t need a white-collar job. You will surely do well being a hunter.
- I have a certain feeling that if rapture were to begin, it would start in Australia. That place looks like a hell of devilish things. ( would it be wrong to say the antonyms for hell is Australia)
- Your country isn’t deemed to be called a country. I would rather call it a zoo. (Y’all look like zoo keepers)
- If Dracula truly exists, I’m 100% sure they came from your place.
- I can proudly say half of the citizens of Australia are bastards springing from the effect of the cold weather and the urge to get sticky. Certainly not love.
- What is the synonym of the phrase- “cold-blooded killers?” Australians!
- The meat pie you brag about can turn a good day into a sour day.
- You guys’ fashion is like the outback- it’s wide, but there is nothing to see.
- You need more of those filters else people will be frightened.
1. I don’t expect you to say anything sensible, I understand where you came from is really cold and must have frozen your sense of reasoning.
Here is a cold joke for the Aussies! An effective way to get on the nerves of an Australian is to ridicule their cold weather.
Saying that they aren’t capable of saying reasonable things is a very hot jab that slaps more than the cold there and is also capable of making them red.
Imagine if you could make an Australian who has a strong sense of humor with just one roast, I bet at the end of the roast spree, they would have gotten burnt from the heat of the roasts.
- If I didn’t know you came from Australia, I would have sworn I have never seen someone as dumb as you are. Knowing well that where you originate from the cold freezes your brain, even makes the excuse better.
2. Only an Australian has a dumb way of saying ‘no’.
This is a clever roast for your Aussie buddy; an intelligent way to make jest of their cowardice.
Australians often say “no” in a very indirect way, using phrases like “not really” or “maybe later” or “I’ll think about it.” This is seen as a polite way to decline an invitation or request, without being too direct or harsh.
This indirectness can be confusing to foreigners who are used to a more direct way of saying “no.”
This is best used in roast banter with an Austrian.
- Only Australians are scared to say “no” to someone. So they cut corners doing that.
3. I hear Australians are known for their beer. Too bad it doesn’t do anything to improve your sense of humor.
Take a sharp swerve at their sense of humor and the stereotypes that Australians have a good sense of humor, especially when they try to be a show off with it.
Also, roasting them for having good tasty beers (which is true), and rendering it useless in affecting their sense of humor is a crafty way to attack their legacy.
- If you claim to have good beers, tell me why it still hasn’t improved the quality of your jokes.
4. Oh you think you are funny? Well, you are as funny as a barrel of monkeys with arthritis.
You are in a roast beef with an Australian and he tries to prove to you that he is more witty than you are?
Well, use these savage lines to bring his shoulders down. It is a good way to say “I’m still your boss so keep quiet”.
These witty lines are capable of placing your opponent as the subject of mockery as everyone will be revealing their set of teeth from what they said.
- You are as funny as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contes
5. The only thing you are capable of showing your affection for is the Koalas.
A heated roast to scorch an Australian. Australians love koalas and kangaroos a lot. I mean it is even part of their way of living.
By using this roast on them, you are implying that they love animals more than humans. Which is a good thing to say to ridicule them and make them pained.
To make it more scorching you can even make a crazy assumption like this:
- I heard your last girlfriend left you because you love the Koalas more than her.
6. I bet you’re an Australian because you sure do know how to make even the simplest joke sound like a bloody ripper.
Go even a little deeper in poking the belief that they have a strong sense of humor.
Here is a sarcasm, and a bit of a tongue-in-cheek joke that plays on the stereotype of Australians being laid-back and having a sense of humor.
The phrase “I bet you’re an Australian” playfully humorizes the belief that they are so good at telling jokes that they must be Australian by likening it to the phrase “bloody ripper” which is a classic Aussie expression that means “excellent” or “terrific.”
It is a relatable joke and will surely have an effect on them.
- If you were a comedian you would be good at making people cry instead of making them laugh.
7. So, you’re Australian. Nice kangaroos! Can I have your twin brother as a pet?
Creatively roast an Austrian for their love of pets and watch them boil in anger. By calling a kangaroo their twin brother, you poke fun at them in a naughty way such that they might get a little cranky.
Just be sure they don’t have temper issues else just picture yourself being pursued by a kangaroo.
Just kidding. But above is part of the good roasts you can use to tease an Australian.
- Nice kangaroos! Can I have one as a pet, or do they only like to hang out with their mates?
8. You have limited sensible ideas, very small like your continent.
Increase the heat of the roast with this cruel savage. Firstly, Australia is a country and also a small continent of its own.
Secondly, this is a special version to use if the Australian in question is a pest. I bet they would be so numb to even think of a comeback.
- You have a small fraction of sensible things in your big head; so small like where you came from.
9. You must be so proud of your country, the same way I’m really proud of my freezer.
Another cold joke to say to an Austrian to make them crease. It is a creative way of insulting their cold weather and even using a crafty analogy makes it more funny.
They will get the gist, trust me, and when they do, it will even sting them more; just like the cold there.
- You must be really proud of the cold weather, and how it makes you ghost white.
10. I hear Australians are known for their hospitality. Too bad it doesn’t extend to their sense of humor.
Another creative roast to use on an Australian. Australians are notable for their top-notch hospitality and by even relating it to their sense is taking a subtle jab at them, especially when the one in question is so full of boring jokes.
11. Judging the fact you came from a continent full of creepy creatures.
Oh if you have been to Australia or you have read about Australia then you will have a picture of what I meant that this continent is full of creepy creatures.
You will see creatures that are as enormous as a human. The sight can be so frightening.
Sting an Australian with this known fact about them and watching them turn sour from the joke.
- You look like one of those creepy creatures that can only survive in Australia.
12. Nice surfboards! Can I borrow one to hit you over the head with?
Here is another hilarious and classic joke you can say to an Australian who loves outdoor games. This joke uses dark humor to poke fun at them, and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
Australians appreciate good jokes so don’t be scared to use this on them.
- Your surfboard looks like what my mama uses to fry chips.
13. You are as tall as a short giraffe.
Use this witty roast to sting a short Australian with a bad attitude. Saying they are as tall as a short giraffe is a creative way of calling them short.
14. I bet you’re Australian because you sure do know how to make even the worst dad jokes sound like a fair dinkum laugh.
Australians are known to be laid-back and here is a lighthearted joke to poke fun at them for being laid-back. The phrase “fair dinkum” is an Australian colloquialism that means “true” or “genuine.”
So, the joke is saying that even the worst dad jokes (which are known for being groan-worthy and cheesy) can sound like a genuine laugh when told by an Australian.
15. How do you know an Australian has walked into a bar? The flip-flops give him away.
When I say Australians are laid-back, I’m referring to their carefree attitude, and the roast above is crafted to attack their carefree attitude.
Use this funny roast to poke fun at their carefree attitude and watch them laugh at your jokes. Also, you can use the roast to creatively call them lazy.
- Australians are so laid back, they have trouble getting up for work on Monday mornings.
16. What do you call a sleepy Australian? A dozy down under!
Here is a pun to poke fun at a lazy Aussie. The joke plays on the words “don’t” meaning sleepy and “down under” meaning Australia.
Use this creative pun to taunt a lazy Austrian.
17. Why did the Australian take two boomerangs to the beach? Because he couldn’t remember where he left the first one.
Here is another roast to spike an Austrian. A roast centered on their culture is a sure way to get so hard at them.
This roast a pun on the fact that boomerangs are used in Australian culture and that some people may forget where they leave them.
Use this roast to poke fun at a forgetful Australian.
18. What doesn’t kill you makes you an Australian?
Here is a twisted joke for our Australian brothers to poke fun at their resilience in staying in Australia.
By using this statement, you are sarcastically saying their country is as tough as hell and creatively calling their country worse.
19. Y’all must be from Australia because you sure do know how to make the most out of every boomerang.
Another witty and culture-centered roast to say to An Australian. This roast is so tricky because it looks like a compliment by a closer look will bring you to the discovery that you have just been roasted.
This is a good roast to use if you want to take them by surprise.
20. Your head looks like those marshmallows you do eat.
Take a quick and direct Jab on an Austrian. Australians love to eat and it is not a bad idea to roast them with their obsession.
This roast is as effective as a punch on the shoulder and is capable of inducing laughter from people listening.
21. I bet you’re Australian because you sure do know how to make even the simplest joke sound like it just stepped out of a Crocodile Dundee movie.
Another sarcastic joke about the Australian sense of humor. The joke is playing on the stereotype that Australians have a distinct sense of humor, as exemplified by the iconic Crocodile Dundee character.
So, it implies that even the simplest jokes sound like they could have been written by the writers of the Crocodile Dundee movies, which were known for their unique brand of humor.
22. You don’t need a white-collar job. You will surely do well being a hunter.
This is a deep humor on the two broad groups of Australia; the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders who were hunters and still partly hunters in this modern times.
Saying they would is a smooth way to taunt them about their culture or way of living.
23. I have a certain feeling that if rapture were to begin, it would start in Australia. That place looks like a hell of devilish things.
What more of a sultry joke can you make other than make jokes about where Australia originates from themselves?
This joke is a good sting on them but be sure you come from a good country else you have just posed yourself for a thick roast too.
- Would it be wrong to say the antonyms for hell is Australia
24. Your country isn’t deemed to be called a country. I would rather call it a zoo.
Again, a subtle joke capable of inducing laughter, for an Australian. Australia is where you will see different creatures of different sizes and breeds, and the joke is of the opinion that a country as such should be a zoo, not a country.
- Y’all look like zoo keepers
25. If Dracula truly exists, I’m 100% sure they came from your place.
This is a very funny assumption to use on an Australian to set him a little giddy. Saying it is possible Dracula might have come from their place because of their cold weather is a mischievous way to get under their skin.
- I was told mythological creatures exist in Australia. How do you cope with inhabiting with vampires?
26. I can proudly say half of the citizens of Australia are bastards springing from the effect of the cold weather and the urge to get sticky. Certainly not love.
Here is a nasty joke on them and one capable of drawing an angry stare from the Australian but don’t be afraid because what is a roast if it is not to make your opponent your a little bad crazy.
27. What is the synonym of the phrase- “cold-blooded killers?” Australians!
Another subtle tease to get under the skin of your Aussie buddy to make them cringe. This is a deep sarcasm on their weather conditions and a good dip to poke fun at them.
- What is another word for Australians? “Cold-blooded killers”
28. The meat pie you brag about can turn a good day into a sour day.
If an Australian brags about how good their meat pie is, then throw this subtle jab to poke them. This creative roast also has a streak of humor that will not only offend them but also make everyone listening burst into laughter.
29. You guys’ fashion is like the outback- it’s wide, but there is nothing to see.
Roast an Australian for his wack fashion sense with this tongue-in-cheek statement. It is a biting remark that makes fun of their fashion sense and a hilarious thing to say to throw everyone into laughter.
30. You need more of those filters else people will be frightened.
Here is a creative way of telling an ugly Australian that they are ugly but in a lighthearted way. It is a good way of ridiculing them for fun and it is certain to make them turn red.