People with really black hair may get some compliments, but they will also gain a fair share of roasts as well.
If you know someone with distinctive black hair, and you want to insult them in a light-hearted manner, you almost always have to be sensitive about your choice of words.
Roasts like “Your hair looks like a virginity helmet” often work. But you need variety.
So here are 20 other different and really sassy roast punchlines you can use to ruffle some feathers for people with black hair.
List of 20 Roast Punchlines for Someone with Black Hair
These punchlines are sure to annoy anyone with black hair. I’ve also provided further explanation on how to deliver these roasts in any given situation.
1. Nice hair; did you dye it with a permanent marker?
Give them The Backhanded Compliment. It starts with “nice hair,” all sunshine and rainbows, lulling them into a false sense of security. Then, BAM! The “permanent marker” jab.
Black hair comes in all shades, naturally! Saying it needs a marker shows you haven’t seen the beautiful variety out there. You can deliver the roast this way:
- Did you color your hair with a title?
- Looks like you used a Sharpie on your hair!
2. The only difference between you and a microphone is nobody speaks to you
If the person has black, full afro hair, this will slam home. Black hair often has this relaxed vibe, like it’s stylish.
So, comparing it to something bland and ignored like a microphone? That’s a bit like ridiculing a fancy sports car to the level of a rusty bicycle.
- Because of your black hair, you’re like a silent rock in a noisy stream.
- You’re as noticed as a fly on the wall.
3. Your hair is too good for roasts. We have to burn it!
Tell them the black hair is so perfect it needs to be destroyed to even compete with others. So, with this line, you’re dissing the person while pretending to compliment them.
But it goes deeper than that. “Burn it” brings up a lot of hurtful history.
Black hair has been disrespected and discriminated against for ages. So, this is a downright insult. But you can present it as a light-hearted roast.
- Your hair’s too lovely for teasing. Let’s torch it!
- Your hair’s too perfect for jokes. Let’s set it on fire!
4. Your hair is so dark that even shadows need a flashlight to find their way around it.
Indeed, punchlines such as this one rely on tired stereotypes and potentially microaggressive assumptions about black hair. But you must really dislike the person to use this line.
It’s a roast that punches down at the person’s appearance or cultural background
- Your hair is so dark, it’s like it swallows up all the light.
- Your hair is so black; it’s like it’s hiding in the shadows.
5. Your hair is so black it could be mistaken for a silhouette.
When you say, “Your hair is so black, it could be mistaken for a silhouette,” to someone with black hair, it’s like you’re saying their hair is so dark it’s not even real—it’s just a shadow, lacking any personality or life.
And trust me, nobody wants to be compared to a flat, lifeless silhouette. So this is a burn!
- Your hair is as black as night; it’s like staring into darkness.
- Your hair is so dark; it’s like looking at a shadow.
6. I heard your hair went to a funeral for all the other colors it pushed out of your head.
Use the idea of a negative bias to roast their look. Our brains love negativity. So, highlighting the “pushed out” colors instead of the bold black itself throws shade, even if unintentional.
But remember, Humor is subjective. What you find funny might land like a lead balloon, especially if it touches on cultural or personal aspects.
So you can deliver the punchline these ways:
- Your hair is so dark; it’s like it’s saying goodbye to all the other colors, never letting them shine!
7. Your hair is so black it makes the night sky jealous.
Comparing their hair to the night sky suggests it’s incredibly dark. Okay, fair enough, but…saying it makes the night sky jealous implies their hair is even more impressive than the stars of the sky.
Now, why would this tick them off? Well, imagine being praised for something you didn’t choose, like your height or eye color.
Plus, suggesting the night sky is envious of their hair? It’s a bit over-the-top and kind of silly.
- Your hair is so dark, it’s like a midnight shadow.
- Your hair is as black as a raven’s wing; it’s striking.
8. Your hair is darker than my Monday mornings.
Tell them their best feature reminds you of something nobody likes. Mondays aren’t exactly everyone’s favorite day, right? They’re often associated with feeling tired, grumpy, and just generally blah.
So, comparing someone’s beautiful hair to the gloomiest day of the week is like saying their hair is as dull and depressing as Monday mornings feel.
For someone who takes pride in their jet-black locks, this comparison is like saying their hair isn’t just dark; it’s so dark it reminds you of the worst day of the week.
- Your hair is as dark as a midnight sky.
- Your hair is darker than a black cat on Halloween night.
9. Your hair is like a blackboard, always ready for chalk.
Use symbolism to insinuate that their hair is dull. This is an insult hidden as a compliment. You’re implying with this line that the person’s hair is bland and unexciting, which can really hurt their feelings.
It’s like saying their hair isn’t unique or beautiful, which is definitely not pleasant to hear.
- Your hair is like a blackboard, waiting for someone to write on it.
- Your hair is like a blank slate, just waiting for something interesting to happen.
10. Do you use motor oil for conditioner?
Make fun of the effort they put in to maintain the black hair. Black hair isn’t just hair; it’s a big deal. It’s a symbol of culture and heritage.
So when you suggest that you’d need motor oil to tame it, it’s not just about the product—it’s a roast at the beauty and effort they put into your hair.
- How much budget do you allocate for hair maintenance
11. Is your hair color the reason why cats follow you around?
A slap on the face disguised as a compliment. On the surface, the line is saying their hair is so dark that it attracts cats like a magnet.
But what you’re really implying is stereotyping the person based on their hair, and that’s not cool. Nobody likes being reduced to a stereotype, especially when it’s not true.
So, for someone with black hair, hearing that line can feel like a slap in the face disguised as a compliment.
And who wants to listen to that? Definitely not someone trying to rock their black hair with confidence!
- Do black cats think you’re their long-lost sibling with that hair?
- Is your hair the reason alley cats mistake you for their leader?
12. I didn’t realize you were sponsored by Dark Matter – until I saw your hair.
Tell them Their hair is so dark it’s like a cosmic secret. It’s meant to be funny, but it’s also pointing out how dark their hair is, almost like it’s the darkest thing in the universe.
Why might this tick someone off? Well, it’s taking something they might be proud of – their dark hair – and exaggerating it in a way that might make them feel like you’re making fun of it.
It’s like teasing them about something they can’t change, and that’s why they will feel roasted about it.
- Wow, I didn’t realize you had a galaxy on your head until I saw your hair!
- I never knew you were the poster child for black holes until I saw your hair!
13. Your hair is so black; it’s like you stole the darkness from the universe and put it on your head.
With this line, you’re making them feel like they’re carrying the weight of the entire universe’s darkness on their head.
That’s not precisely the compliment you were going for, right? You can even say the punchline like this:
- Your hair is so black, it’s like a midnight sky.
- Your hair is so dark, it’s like the deepest shade of night.
14. I heard your hair tried to join a punk rock band, but they said it was too dark even for them.
Make them suddenly feel embarrassed and maybe a little hurt. With this line, you’re telling them their hair is so dark that even the wild and crazy punk rockers wouldn’t want it around. It’s making fun of something they can’t change – their hair color.
- I heard your hair wanted to join a punk band, but they said it was too dark.
- Your hair’s so dark that even punk rockers would think it’s too intense for them.
15. Your hair is as black as my ex’s heart.
Compare their hair to your ex’s personality. It’s not just about the color; it’s about saying their hair is like something really unpleasant.
For someone who loves their black hair, it’s like a punch to the confidence. It’s not fun to be compared to something negative, especially when you’re proud of your hair.
16. Your hair is like the night sky, except without the stars
Compliment their dark hair but remind them it’s missing the sparkle. Use this line as a sneaky insult disguised as a compliment, and it stings. Instead of feeling fabulous, the person is left feeling plain and unremarkable.
So yeah, if someone said that to you, it would definitely make you feel pretty annoyed.
- Your hair is as dark as the night, but it lacks the shine.
- Your hair is like a midnight sky, just without the twinkle.
17. I asked your hair for fashion advice, and it said, ‘Always bet on black.’
Stylishly implies their hair is dull and unoriginal, sticking to the same old thing all the time. It’s as if you’re calling their style predictable and safe, like they’re afraid to try anything new.
So, if someone has black hair, they should get ready to feel a bit roasted by this clever little jab!
- Your black hair’s fashion advice? Stick to black. How original.
- Your hair’s style motto: ‘Black is the only way to go.’ Yawn.
18. Your hair is so dark, it’s like you stole all the shadows
This is similar to saying their hair is too dark, almost as if it’s a bad thing. It’s not a straightforward compliment. So, it’s understandable why someone with black hair might feel a bit insulted by this remark.
- Your hair is so dark, it’s like you’ve sucked up all the shadows.
- Your hair is so dark, it’s like you’ve stolen the night.
19. Your hair is so dark it’s like your head is auditioning for a role in a black hole.
A black hole sucks in all light. This line implies their hair is so overwhelmingly dark that it’s like a void devoid of any life or beauty.
So you’re not just commenting on their hair; you’re saying it’s so dark it’s like it’s sucking up all the good stuff around it and leaving nothing behind.
It is a solid root for dissing the person’s appearance, making it seem like their hair is dull and lifeless.
- Wow, your hair is so dark; it’s like a bottomless pit!
20. Did you choose your hair color to match your wardrobe… of all black?
Tell them their hair is so dull it matches their boring clothes. At this point, it’s not just about fashion; you’re implying they lack imagination and personality.
It’s as if you think they’re just blending into the background instead of standing out. And that’s not something anyone wants to hear, especially if they put effort into their appearance.
- Your hair matches your clothes, all black, huh?
- Did you pick your hair color to match your black clothes?
Do You Know?
- “Raven-haired” is the term used to describe people with black hair. However, you can also refer to them as brunette or “noirette”.
If you tried any of the above roast punchlines and they don’t work, it means the person has probably built a challenging skill over time.
Of course, carrying black hair from birth and not dyeing it can bring pride.
But if you still want to get under their skin, say something like, “I might not be able to roast you, but at least I can clean the grill with you once we’re done.”
That should suffice. What do you think of these punchlines? Let me know in the comments.