Today, when an old teenager reveals that they play Minecraft, you can expect to hear replies like,
- Are you seriously playing that game?
- Only cringy 12 years play that game
- Now I’m not sure if you’re autistic or not because you played Minecraft
It’s a stereotype. But you won’t blame people. MC players can be cringy and annoying. Say, many of them. And this is with no sentiment of stereotype.
If you’re looking for the best roasts for Minecraft players, especially one-liners, this article is for you. Even if you’re a player yourself, some of these lines can be used for your playmates.
List of the Best 20 Roast Lines for Minecraft Players
Use these short roasts for Minecraft players to make them cooked!
1. Maybe you should cut your hair at the same time as your wrists.
Remind the Minecraft player that they spend so much time playing the game that they forget about personal hygiene, like getting a haircut.
In the line, you mention cutting wrists, which is a dark reference to the game’s health system. Too.
- Maybe it’s time to give your Minecraft character a break and get a haircut!
- Instead of crafting in Minecraft, how about crafting a new look with a haircut?
2. You look like my cousin Tyler, except he’s training for the military, and you’re training your melee skills.
Poke fun at them for spending a lot of time on Minecraft instead of doing something more serious. Your cousin may be imaginary Tyler preparing for the military. It’s a friendly joke, not meant to be mean.
- You’re like my friend, except they’re training for actual battles, and you’re just training in Minecraft.
- You remind me of someone I know, but they’re prepping for the army, and you’re just mastering Minecraft fights
3. Minecraft shirt. Check. H&M bracelet. Check. Generally over-affected, insecure, ugly teenager..check.
They’re wearing a shirt with a Minecraft theme. They’ve also got a bracelet from H&M, a popular store. Cool!
But the last part of the roast exaggerates what people might think about teenagers, like being too dramatic or insecure, especially those who are obsessed with the MC game.
- Nice Minecraft shirt and bracelet! Typical teenager vibes, huh?
- I’m rocking the Minecraft gear and H&M bracelet! Just like any other teen out there!
4. You’re like gravel: rough and dull, and nobody wants to step on you.
Use a funny comparison from the game to tease them about not being very exciting or compelling. Gravel in Minecraft is annoying because it’s everywhere and doesn’t do much.
It’s rough to touch, just like your words are a bit sharp. Plus, it’s dull, just like their playing style might seem to you.
- You’re like gravel: rough, dull, and no one wants to touch you.
- You’re like gravel: rough, plain, and nobody wants to walk on you
5. I feel like if I punched you in the face ten times, you’d turn into three uncooked pork chops
It’s just hilarious to imagine someone turning into pork chops after getting punched a few times! In Minecraft, when you punch a pig, you get porkchops.
With this line, you’re playfully implying your opponent is weak, like a Minecraft pig. And saying they’d turn into three pork chops after just ten punches?
That means they’re so weak they’d drop like a sack of potatoes with just a little tap.
- You’re as tough as a Minecraft pig – one punch and you’d drop like a stack of porkchops.
- If Minecraft were real life, punching you once would turn you into enough porkchops for a feast.
6. You’re that one guy in lobbies who tries to get a 10-year-old girlfriend by saying that you’re 11.
Play on the Pedophile stereotype associated with Minecraft players. In Minecraft, some players act like they’re super cool and try to impress others.
They might brag about their skills or pretend to be older than they are to seem more impressive. This line is to tell them that they are that person who tries too hard to look cool.
- You’re the guy who acts older to impress younger girls
- You’re the one who tries to be cool by pretending to be older than you are.
7. My 5-year-old could probably kick your ass in a building competition.
Compare their abilities to your 5-year-old child, real or imagined. This sets the stage by bringing in a young kid, making it clear we’re talking about someone with minimal experience.
“Could probably build better than you” is the part that the burn comes in. You’re basically saying they’re so bad at building that even a little kid could outshine them.
- Even a little kid could build better than you!
- My little cousin could outbuild you any day!
8. Please quit Minecraft and play in a minefield.
You can make fun of them by saying that spending time in a minefield (a real-life danger zone) would be more exciting than playing Minecraft.
If you want to tease the player for spending too much time in a virtual world, you can use this line.
It helps you suggest they should try something more adventurous in real life.
- Stop playing Minecraft and explore an absolute minefield!
- Instead of Minecraft, why not try your luck in an absolute minefield?
9. The condom factory put out your birth certificate as an apology
Use this play on words to go all IN. When you tell someone, “Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory,” you tell them their birth is a mistake.
It makes them feel worthless in life, except, of course, helpful in playing those cringy games.
- Your birth certificate is a whoopsie from the stork!
- Your birth certificate is a surprise gift from the universe!
10. I heard that you were a Ladykiller.
In the game, characters aren’t real people; they’re just blocks. So, saying someone’s a “Ladykiller” means they’re so ugly or shocking-looking in the game that other players die from surprise when they see them.
I like this roast because it is something you can say to tease someone while they’re playing the game.
- I heard you’re a Minecraft heartbreaker. Other players see you and instantly respawn!
- They say you’re a Minecraft knockout. People catch sight of you and log out in disbelief!
11. You’re as valuable for a team as a chicken in a minecart.
Compare them to a chicken sitting in a minecart. It’s funny because chickens don’t belong in minecarts, right?
They’re not helpful at all for moving around underground. So, what you’re really saying is that this person isn’t being beneficial in the game.
It’s an excellent roast to use if you’re a Minecraft player yourself.
- You’re about as helpful as a fish on a bicycle in our Minecraft team.
- You’re as handy as a snowball in a desert when we’re playing Minecraft together.
12. When you wash your face, do you lose the soap?
Tell them they are so bad even at Minecraft that they’d lose even something as basic as soap. It’s purely a dig at their gaming skills, suggesting they might need to level up a bit.
- Do you drop the soap when you wash your face in Minecraft?
- If you wash your face, do you end up losing the soap in Minecraft?
13. You look like you have been using two monitors for too long
Ridicule how immersed they are in the game. To roast a gamer, take advantage of the idea of gamers spending so much time gaming that they start to show it – like someone who’s been staring at screens for too long
- You’ve been playing so much Minecraft you look like you’ve been staring at two screens forever!
- Are you sure you’re not part of Minecraft? You’ve got that ‘two-screen stare’ down pat!
14. You build slower than a turtle with arthritis.
Compare their gaming skills to that of a turtle. Turtles are already slow, and saying they have arthritis makes it even funnier because it’s like saying they’re moving at a languid pace.
In Minecraft, everyone wants to build fast, so teasing someone for being slow is a playful way to joke around.
When you’re playing Minecraft and your friend is lagging, you can use this line to make them laugh!
- You’re building like a sloth on a Sunday stroll!
- Your construction pace is slower than a snail on a sleepy day
15. Your parents never felt the need to give you The Talk, did they?
Assume they never had “The Talk” with their parents about growing up.
To a Minecraft player, you’re teasing them about being so into the game that they might have missed out on some typical life experiences.
It means they are not as socially savvy since they spend more time with virtual blocks than real people.
- Bet your folks skipped the chat about birds and bees, huh? Minecraft’s your world!
- Did your parents forget the ‘big talk’ amidst all your Minecraft adventures?
16. Not even a texture pack would save you
Since Minecraft is a game where how things look matters a lot, saying a texture pack won’t help implies their gameplay is beyond help.
And using the phrase “save you” will show that they’re in desperate need of support for their terrible skills.
- Even a fancy look won’t help you out.
- No excellent graphics can fix that mess.
17. The mentally disabled kid from Diary of a Wimpy Kid grew up
Make the book series reference. “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” is a popular book series with a character named Rowley who’s a bit silly and clueless.
Saying, “the retarded kid from Diary of a Wimpy Kid grew up,” means the person has matured but might still have some of those silly traits.
- Remember the goofy kid from Diary of a Wimpy Kid? It looks like they started playing Minecraft.
- That Minecraft player must’ve been the Rowley of Diary of a Wimpy Kid in their past life.
18. I’ve seen creepers with better social skills than you.
In Minecraft, there are these creatures called creepers. They’re green, sneaky, and tend to blow things up.
So, when you say someone has social skills worse than a creeper, you’re basically saying they’re awkward or clumsy in social situations.
- You’re as smooth as a blocky creeper in a social setting.
- Even creepers have better social games than you do!
19. Dude, you need a hockey helmet and a lobster bib.
Have you ever seen someone eat a messy lobster dinner? It’s chaotic! By mentioning a lobster bib, you’re teasing them about being dirty or maybe biting off more than they can chew.
Plus, it’s just funny to imagine someone in Minecraft wearing a hockey helmet and a lobster bib!
- Hey, slow down! You’re like a Minecraft player without a helmet.
- Whoa there! It looks like someone forgot their bib for this messy Minecraft feast!
20. You look like you use the scene girl avatars in Minecraft so you can get the attention you crave
Nothing irks an MC player more than assuming that they are lonely and crying for attention, especially from their female counterparts who are younger than them.
- You pick those flashy avatars in Minecraft just to get noticed, don’t you?
- You choose those eye-catching avatars in Minecraft because you want everyone’s attention, right?
What’s the Stereotype of Minecraft Players?
Please note that these roast punchlines are tailored without stereotype sentiment attached. It is just to get them riled up.
Many people mock others who play Minecraft by saying mean things like “Shut up, you autistic toddler” just because they like the game.
But here’s the thing: the average age of Minecraft players is actually around 30 years old, according to research from the company that makes the game (which is even the average age of someone who plays games generally). That’s pretty surprising, right? And almost half of the players are female, which is really cool.
Now, if you think people who play Minecraft are “cringy” or embarrassing, you probably haven’t given the game a fair chance.
Sure, there might be some parts of the Minecraft community that seem silly, especially the stuff aimed at younger players and the YouTubers who make content for them. (read: DanTDM, who mainly makes content for kids.)