20 Funny Roasts for Your Grandma

Funny Roasts for Your Grandma

Grandmas are amazing beings. They are the most caring people who love you, spoil you with their irresistible cookies, and even give you worthy advice to help you navigate your life.

However, aside from this sweet side of them, they are also fantastic for other reasons.

From their struggle with technologies to their stale jokes, and old school sense of humor makes it the perfect recipe for funny granny jokes and roasts.

This article will explore different clever jokes, one-liners, and old people jokes that your grandma will relate to and will also make everyone giggle.

These cute grandma jokes cover a wide variety of their personalities.

Keep reading.

Table of Contents

Here are 20 Funny Roasts for Your Grandma

  1. Grandma, you’re so tech-savvy that you can double-click a TV remote
  2. You’re the original “cool grandma” – you make bingo look like the hottest trend
  3. Grandma, you’ve got more game than a chessboard
  4. You’re the ultimate proof that age is just a number, and wrinkles are just laughter lines
  5. Grandma, you’re so wise that Google asks for your advice!
  6. You’re the queen of baking, and your cookies have magical powers of happiness
  7. Grandma, you’re a walking encyclopedia of family stories and secrets
  8. You’ve got more energy than a kid on a sugar rush
  9. You’re the true fashion icon – rocking those cardigans like nobody else
  10. Grandma, you’re so sweet that you should come with a warning label for diabetes
  11. You’ve got the funniest dance moves at family parties – no one can compete
  12. Grandma, you’re the master of hugs and kisses – your love is unmatched
  13. Your snickerdoodle recipe is so secret, the CIA wants to recruit you
  14. Grandma, you’re so cool that you probably invented the high-five
  15. You’ve got the best stories about the good old days when the world was black and white except that they make us doze
  16. Grandma, you’re a true superhero – able to knit an entire sweater in a single evening
  17. You’re the reigning champion of board games – no one can beat you at Scrabble…except me.
  18. Grandma, you’re the original DIY expert – you can fix anything with a needle and thread
  19. Your singing voice is so beautiful that birds run away from your window
  20. Grandma, you’re a body of nagging and complaints but we’re so lucky to have you

1. Grandma, you’re so tech-savvy that you can double-click a TV remote

Funny Roasts for Your Grandma

A sarcastic remark for your grandma that will poke fun at her. Saying grandma is tech-savvy when she has to double click the remote before she can operate it is a hilarious way to roast your grandma in a way that will make all your family roar in laughter.

  • Grandma, you are so tech-savvy that you think Joystick is a kitchen utensil
  • Grandma, you are so tech-savvy that you make Alexa look like a calculator.

2. You’re the original “cool grandma” – you make bingo look like the hottest trend

Grandma is so cool-headed, however, it won’t hurt if she is passed for a roast too. This expression is a creative way of roasting your cool and gentle grandma and can help set a happy mood

  • Grandma, you make bingo look like the hottest nightclub
  • Grandma, you’re cooler than a hipster at a coffee shop.
  • Grandma, you’re the definition of “cool as a cucumber.

3. Grandma, you’ve got more game than a chessboard

This roast is an idiomatic expression that is a joke about how Chess is a very cerebral and strategic game, and the phrase “you’ve got more game” is often used to describe someone who’s very smooth and charismatic.

So saying that your grandma has “more game than Chess” is just a tongue-in-cheek way of saying that she is super smooth and charming.

  • Grandma, your moves are more powerful than a queen on a chessboard
  •  Grandma, you’re more strategic than a grandmaster for the next one?
  • Grandma, your game is stronger than a knight in shining armor.

4. You’re the ultimate proof that age is just a number, and wrinkles are just laughter lines

Here is a cute roast for your grandma to allay her fears of growing old. This roast can be used to set your grandma in a good mood and to put her up for some laughs.

  • Grandma, you’re living proof that age is just a number, and laughter lines are a badge of honor
  •  Grandma, you’re so full of life, your wrinkles should be called a laughter medal
  • Grandma, you’re so youthful, you should be called Benjamin Button’s grandma

5. Grandma, you’re so wise that Google asks for your advice

They sometimes say with age comes wisdom, while this is true for most people, it is not for others. If it’s true for your grandma, then this roast is for her.

As the naughty grandchild that you are, you wouldn’t want to compliment her, so try out this funny roast and use it to tease her.

  • Grandma, you’re so wise, Google should make you their new search engine
  • Grandma, you’re so full of wisdom, you should be called Encyclopedia Grandtannica
  • Grandma, you’re so wise, you should be called the Oracle of Grandma.

6. You’re the queen of baking, and your cookies have magical powers of happiness

A playful tease to use for your grandma while she is in the kitchen baking your favorite cookies.

This will make her blush and make her give you more cookies than the rest of your siblings. Make sure you use a sarcastic tone when you want to deliver the roast:

  • Grandma, your cookies are so magical, they should be sold in a Harry Potter shop.
  • Grandma, your cookies are so delicious, they should be called happiness-in-a-cookie.
  • Grandma, your cookies are so incredible, they should be called magic-in-a-crumb

7. Grandma, you’re a walking encyclopedia of family stories and secrets 

This is for your grandma who has lived a century and even more. They practically know all the histories and stories of your family from generation to generation.

Roast your grandma in the evenings when she entertains you with your family secrets.

  • Grandma, your family stories are so juicy, they should be classified as top-secret.
  • Grandma, your family secrets are so scandalous, they should be published in the National Enquirer.

8. You’ve got more energy than a kid on a sugar rush

This is for your grandma who is so energetic, super hyper, and full of life even more than a youth. The best way to deliver this roast is to deliver it with a smile and then say:

  • Grandma, you’ve got more energy than a toddler hopped up on espresso.
  •  Grandma, your energy is so high, that it could power a rocket ship.

9. You’re the true fashion icon – rocking those cardigans like nobody else

Funny Roasts for Your Grandma

Make a slight mockery of grandma for her addiction to cardigans because of her allergies to cold, using this roast “You’re the true fashion icon – rocking those cardigans like nobody else”. This is sure to poke fun at her, and of course, make her giggle.

  • Grandma, your cardigans are so chic, that they’re featured in Vogue.
  • Grandma, your cardigan collection is so legendary, that it’s on display at the Met Gala.

10. Grandma, you’re so sweet that you should come with a warning label for diabetes

Telling your grandma she is so sweet that she could cause diabetes is any hilarious thing to say to roast your grandma that will surely make her laugh.

  •  Grandma, your sweetness is so intense, you should come with a surgeon general’s warning.
  • Grandma, you’re so sugary, your hugs should require a prescription 

11. You’ve got the funniest dance moves at family parties – no one can compete

If Your grandma is beat-deaf, that’s one incapable of moving to the rhythm of music, then you have got the perfect lines to roast her.

“You’ve got the funniest dance moves at family parties – no one can compete” is the perfect line to use to roast your grandma for her embarrassing dance moves.

  •  Grandma, your dance moves are so dorky, they could power a small town.
  1. Grandma, you’re the master of hugs and kisses – your love is unmatched

Another yummy roast for your grandma. Grandmas love to envelop their kids in hugs; no matter how old you are, you’re not too old for granny hugs. Use this roast for your granny if she loves to give hugs and kisses.

  • Grandma, you’re the queen of affection – your hugs and kisses are like royal decrees.
  • Grandma, your hugs and kisses are so powerful, they should be regulated by the FDA.

13. Your snickerdoodle recipe is so secret, the CIA wants to recruit you

This is an ironic statement to tease your grandma for making the best cookies. The roast ironically states that the CIA wants to recruit her because of her cookies. This roast is capable of causing people to grin.

  • Grandma, your snickerdoodles are so top secret, that they’re classified as national security.
  • Grandma, your snickerdoodles are so confidential, they have their own security clearance.

14. Grandma, you’re so cool that you probably invented the high-five

This roast uses a direct comparison to draw humor and it can be used to make fun of your grandma if she is very cool and reserved. 

  • Grandma, you’re so cool, you were high-fiving before it was even invented.
  • Grandma, you’re so hip, your bifocals are Prada.

15. You’ve got the best stories about the good old days when the world was black and white except that they make us doze

Old people love to talk about histories, and vents that happened in the past. It’s always cute at first until they start repeating one story ten times you get tired of hearing the same stale story.

Perhaps they do it on purpose or it just has to do with old age, I really can’t say. However, if your grandma’s stories no longer excite you and they are now sleeping tab for you; then this roast can be used to poke fun at them.

  •  Grandma, your stories are so old, they’re covered in cobwebs.
  • Grandma, your stories are so ancient, they’re written on stone tablets.

16. Grandma, you’re a true superhero – able to knit an entire sweater in a single evening

An exaggerated line to roast your Nana’s craft prowess. Emphasizing how good she can be and also teasing her is a good way to roast your grandma.

17. You’re the reigning champion of board games – no one can beat you at Scrabble except me

Go soft on grandma with this roast. Grandma already bragged to you that she’s a champion in Scrabble, but you have won her flawlessly. Wrap your arms around grandma and say:

  • Grandma, you’re such a Scrabble champ, even the dictionary bows down to you.
  • Grandma, you’re such a Scrabble pro, you could probably make words using letters from alphabet soup.

18. Grandma, you’re the original DIY expert – you can fix anything with a needle and thread

Another playful roast to poke fun at Grandma’s craftiness. It uses exaggerated lines to make jest of grandma’s handiness, suggesting that they can practically fix everything with just a needle.

  • Grandma, you’re such a DIY expert, you can fix anything – even the holes in Swiss cheese.
  • Grandma, you’re such a DIY expert, you can even fix a broken heart – with super glue

19. Your singing voice is so beautiful that birds run away from your window

A subtle roast to sting your grandma and make fun of her croaky voice. Starting with a compliment and ending with a jab is sure a crazy way to make fun of grandma, and even make everyone laugh.

  • Grandma, your singing voice is so bad, it makes the neighborhood dogs start howling.
  •  Grandma, your singing voice is so horrible, it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard, but worse.

20. Grandma, you’re a body of nagging and complaints but we’re so lucky to have you

Grandmas love to complain and nag about a lot of things, and it can be so annoying. If your grandma is someone like that, then this roast is a perfect one to tease them.

Deliver your roast this way:

  • Grandma, you’re like a fine wine – you only get more naggy with age.

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