The annoying thing about many online roast communities is that when it comes to dissing volleyball players, especially females, they tend to only talk about nasty and dirty punchlines.
You don’t have to be vulgar before you successfully roast a volleyball player.
You can make a joke or ridicule any of their six essential skills, such as their serve, pass, set, attack, block, or dig.
You can even roast a volleyball player by their appearance or character. The inspiration is endless.
But yes, putting the right words together to construct a real zinger can be a tough one. That’s where this article comes in.
I have gathered and explained 20 of the best roast punchlines for volleyball players that I’ve heard so far.
List of the Best 20 Funny Roasts Punchlines You Can Tell a Volleyball Player
No matter how good they are in the game of volleyball, any of these punchlines are sure to get under their skin. Depending on how you deliver these roast lines, it is sure to get them riled up:
1. Looks like you spike like a cactus.
“Looks like you spike like a cactus” is one of the clever ways to roast a volleyball player because you’re comparing their spike to the ones on a cactus plan, which is an intelligent play on words.
It means that the way they swing the ball with their palm sharply downwards over the net and into the opposing court is not as great as expected. And so, they are lazy in that aspect.
Trust me, no volleyball player takes it easy when you try to ridicule their tactical skills of the game.
2. Well, you’re certainly some kind of ball player…
Another sassy roast you can tell a volleyball player is, “Well, you’re certainly some kind of ball player.” It paints a nasty insinuation in their heads, which indirectly means they are promiscuous.
It will apply to a female volleyball player who you want to tease.
The idea of saying “some kind of ball player” would send the impression that they play with balls of men as well, and not just volleyballs.
3. You sit like you’re playing hot potato.
You can diss a volleyball player by comparing their setting skills to tossing a beanbag in a party game. You can say, “You sit like you’re playing hot potato.” it means they are afraid of the game.
It’s a smart way to call the person a novice.
Being a volleyball player, they’d know that the goal for the setter is to get in the direct line of the ball.
But you can use this line to let them know they don’t set balls accurately and on time for the hitter.
4. Volleyballs are probably the only white balls you have ever touched
“Volleyballs are probably the only white balls you have ever touched” is one of the nastiest ways to roast a volleyball fan, especially if the player is a female.
It’s an indirect way of calling them promiscuous or attacking their personality.
Many people would call this slut-shaming. You must really want to get under the player’s skin for you to use this punchline on them.
5. Is your motto ‘hit and miss’?
Another way you can roast a volleyball player is to ask them, “Is your motto ‘hit and miss’?”
Of course, this is a rhetorical question, but it passes the message clearly. What’s the message?
The hit and miss and it’s becoming embarrassing.
Even though they do a decent job in the game, you can always use this line to berate or carpet their efforts. We’re roasting, after all, aren’t we?
6. You’ve sucked more balls than you’ve served.
If I want to easily roast a female baseball player and get her riled up, I can say, “You’ve sucked more balls than you’ve served.”
This roast is a dirty one, but trust me, it works every time.
It paints the dirty idea that they are probably not good at volleyball but do a better job with the other kind of ball in the other room.
Sometimes, with fewer words, you pass messages in a clear and witty way that will get people to laugh.
I don’t recommend you try this with someone who won’t see the joke in it, though.
7. Are you playing volleyball or just swatting flies?
“Are you playing volleyball or just swatting flies?” is one of the famous lines that fans use to roast their favorite players when they are underperforming.
You can always use this line as it works for every situation, regardless of the player’s level.
Comparing their performance with the act of swatting flies means they are not putting in enough effort in the game as they ought to. And you’re making fun of them out of it.
8. Your digs are like watching someone try to catch confetti
You can roast a volleyball player by making fun of their defensive bump. Thus, you can say, “Your digs are like watching someone try to catch confetti.”
It means that whenever the ball is sent to the player’s side of the court with a spike, they do a terrible job of keeping the ball from hitting the floor.
You can always use this roast punchline during an ongoing match.
9. Are you allergic to winning?
Whether it’s beach volleyball or even the Olympic tournaments, yelling out this line will work.
My favorite part of this line is that it works for any sport. Think of saying this to a footballer. A tennis player? A baseball player? A boxer? It all works.
So when words fail you, and you want to diss a volleyball player, this can easily stay in your back pockets for when it’s needed.
10. Your game has more holes than a sieve.
I believe the easiest way to roast a volleyball player is to point at the weaknesses or flaws in their performance.
Thus, “Your game has more holes than a sieve” sounds like a perfect roast punchline.
If your game has “more holes,” it means there are numerous areas where you’re lacking or making mistakes, whether it’s in serving, passing, setting, hitting, blocking, or overall court awareness.
So, instead of lamely telling the person that their game is not solid or well-rounded, this line comes through for you.
11. Your low-flying serves makes me wonder if you have a personal relationship with gravity
Nothing hurts as a volleyball player than people telling you that your serves are not as good as you think them to be.
When you tell a volleyball player, “Your low-flying serves to make me wonder if you have a personal relationship with gravity,” it’s a burn.
Hardly will they have a counter-comeback from that diss.
And it hurts more when it’s their reality — that they don’t serve well.
12. You must really be excellent at anything involving balls to the face.
Another dirty way you can roast a volleyball player is to institute sexual innuendoes.
“You must really be amazing at anything involving balls to the face” sounds like an intelligent roast punchline you can always use to irk a volleyball player.
Generally, any sport that has “ball” in its name would naturally expose its players to getting roasted with jokes that have to do with the scrotum.
13. I’ve seen better blocks in a game of Jenga
You can say, “I’ve seen better blocks in a game of Jenga,” if you want to generalize the roast so that it applies to everyone on the team and not just one person.
The block is essential for a volleyball player because a team earns points when they block the ball from the other team when it lands on the latter side.
So, comparing their blocks with the Jenga game will definitely hurt.
14. You’re that player trying to set records for the most missed serves, huh?
What’s more humiliating than being called the volleyball player with the most missed serves?
While it’s normal for even professionals to experience flaws, as no one is perfect, constantly missing serves is a clear sign of being a novice.
And no athlete likes to be called a novice, not for too long.
So when you call them novices in this particular way, it surely annoys them. That’s how you roast.
15. No doubt, you’re athletic. But don’t you think you’re playing the wrong sport?
Another way you can roast a volleyball player is by saying, “No doubt, you’re athletic. But don’t you think you’re playing the wrong sport?”
Now, you can consider this a rhetorical question. But even when the person answers, it would predictably be a response you can always diss again and again.
What this roast punchline does is bring their self-esteem down. That’s the whole point about roasting someone.
If they’re brave enough, they’ll know you’re just messing with them.
16. You dodge success so much that one would think you play dodgeball instead
I don’t know about everywhere in the world, but it’s pretty improper to put volleyball and dodgeball in the same category of sports. Volleyball requires more sportsmanship.
Now, when you reduce a volleyball player to a participant in a game where people just throw balls and hit opponents while avoiding being hit themselves, you are insulting that player.
So, it’s an intelligent way to make a mess of their volleyball career.
17. The only thing you know is making the wrong moves at the wrong time
It’s a plight for any volleyball player to be that one player on the court who makes the wrong moves at the wrong time. So, calling them this will definitely be a burn.
Unlike other sports, there are only a few things that sound like a taboo for volleyball players. Once you know these shortcomings and associate them with them, capise!
When you tell a volleyball player that “ The only thing you know is making the wrong moves at the wrong time,” you’ve successfully roasted them. No doubt!
18. I’d roast you, but inhaling burning plastic isn’t safe
“ I’d roast you, but inhaling burning plastic isn’t safe” is another thing you can say to roast a volleyball player.
The literal idea of roasting is preparing something with a grill. And what happens when you roast something made of plastic? It produces flames that are not healthy to inhale.
So, by telling a volleyball player that “ I’d roast you, but inhaling burning plastic isn’t safe,” you’re indirectly calling them a plastic.
It also means their looks are fake. And maybe the player wastes kilos of makeup to look good.
19. Is your team’s motto ‘aim low, miss high’?
Sometimes, the heart of a roast punchline is not in dissing the individual player. You may need to make fun of their team as well. That’s when the zinger will be more funny.
With this in mind, saying, “Is your team’s motto ‘aim low, miss high’?” sounds like an intelligent way to roast a volleyball.
The advantage of using this punchline is that you can also use it against some volleyball fans.
For example, you can roast the fans of any of the teams in the premier volleyball league (PVL) using this particular line.
20. Your game is as flat as a pancake, with none of the sweetness.
Lastly, you can roast the life out of any volleyball player by simply telling them, “Your game is as flat as a pancake, with none of the sweetness.”
You use a vivid image to tell them how distasteful their game is. It works for every situation.