20 Clever Insults for a Drummer

When singers or vocalists are present, drummers support them by setting the tempo and providing the music’s pulse.

This article consists of puns, sarcasm, dark humor, and insults, to keep you equipped anytime you want to obliterate a drummer (with words).

Here are 20 clever ways to insult a drummer

1. Immediately you start drumming, we know the party is over.
2. The last person who endured listening to your beat had surgery on both ears.
3. I would stay to watch you drum if I plan to have nightmares
4. I once had a boil under both armpits and I performed better.
5. What’s that sound? Is it the end of the world
6. I would like to replace the “d” with “b” and all we have is “bummers”
7. If I could drum like you do, I would never pick up an instrument.
8. Well you are a good drummer but do you have anything that won’t suck?
9. If you keep practicing one day you will be as good as when you started.
10. You will make more money staying on the street than making noise with a drum.
11. We all came here to dance but your beat reminded most people of troubled times.
12. Now I see the problem, you should have never picked a drumstick.
13. I love your beat. It almost sounded like drumming but it didn’t.
14. Making this lot of noise should be illegal don’t you think?
15. You look angry beating that drum, you look like a plastic spoon in the world of noodles.
16. I heard you always give the best performance when you play for yourself.
17. You should consider drumming for the military, am sure they will only make you play for the firing squad.
18. I heard the only place you get invited to perform is outside.
19. I will never forget the first time I watched you play, but I will keep trying.
20. Amuse me, for the first time, play something interesting.

1. Immediately you start drumming, we know the party is over

Having a drummer present awful sounds during a performance at a lovely party can be so annoying and mood-changing, that most people come to parties to ease up stress and have fun.

Now that we have a drummer invading and destroying the reason we are here is time to get him toasted.

Deliver your insult this way:

• Your beat and your performance bring an end to everything, it may do the same to lives if not stopped.

2. The last person who endured listening to your beat had surgery on both ears.

Having amateurs perform could be so noisy and lack professionalism, they are just trying to show off, but they will only end up creating a master class of disaster.

It takes time and practice to get close to perfection and such steps are not to be rushed.

Insult the overzealous drummer who is about to damage everyone’s hearing in this manner:

• The only reason your mum loves your performance is because she can’t hear you, your awful beat damaged her hearing in the first place.

3. I would stay to watch you drum if I plan to have nightmares

We all have that friend who loves to display his awful drumming skills at every chance he gets.

He loves drumming but he is too busy to train and get better, and he is never ashamed to try out his awfulness, thereby embarrassing you at every chance he gets.

Insult him to put a leash on him and to take his hands off any drum for a while.

• I was told, there was a time you played for hours and a deaf man came to tell you how horrible you sound.

4. I once had a boil under both armpits and I performed better.

This insult is to address a situation, whereby a drummer is invited to perform, to entertain, but he does the opposite with a low attitude toward his work and displays sluggishness.

Deliver this insult with a smirk on your face to remind him in case he forgets the reason he was invited:

• If I were to beat those drums with my legs, they would have more meaning than what you did with ten fingers.

5. What’s that sound? Is it the end of the world

Beginners who love to drum make a lot of mistakes at first and since they have been motivated, they are going to keep creating awful sounds till they attain perfection.

Making so much noise indoors or near anyone who has a lot on their mind can be annoying.

Deliver your insult this way:

• God could make use of a sound like this to notify us “It is the end of the world”.

6. I would like to replace the “d” with “b” and all we have is “bummers”

Not all drummers are qualified to showcase their talents because some may have none, drumming is supposed to be sleek and gentle, time-conscious, and never in a rush.

This insult is the perfect statement to bring a frown to a drummer’s face, who failed at his job.

• Failure decided to show his human form, and here you are in all glory.

7. If I could drum like you do, I would never pick up an instrument.

Trying to encourage a friend to get better at what he does could be frustrating, you are just trying to motivate him and not make him lose focus, even if you know drumming is not his thing and he might wait forever, he won’t get better.

Insult him or her to say the truth, Even though it hurts they will get the message eventually.

• If drumming was the only thing meant for you, then you are doomed to fail.

8. Well you are a good drummer but do you have anything that won’t suck?

Some drummers have the right attitude towards drumming, zeal, and passion but they are just not there yet.

They need the patience to gather enough experience step-by-step to introduce themselves to the world.

Insult an overzealous drummer who lacks patience this way:

• If sucking was a competition, you will always win every time you contest.

9. If you keep practicing one day you will be as good as when you started.

Practice makes perfect when time and discipline are in motion to develop a skill, insult your busy friend, who practices his drumming skill anytime he feels like it and not constantly.

Make sure you don’t look too serious while delivering this insult:

• Keep practicing, you might discover a rhythm that makes people question their sanity.

10. You will make more money staying on the street than making noise with a drum

This statement is well-structured to draw out a frown from your friend, who loves to play drums but is nowhere close to being good at it but loves to play with drums, like an obsession. And he doesn’t have any plans to change anytime soon.

Deliver your insult this way to keep him in check:

• If the noise made by your drum could be sold, we would end up owing the buyer.

11. We all came here to dance but your beat reminded most people of troubled times.

There is no party or gathering without music, music ignites the soul and blends with your mood.

Having a drummer, who doesn’t understand the environment around him and time to play solemn sounds or dancing sounds, will confuse him and everyone in attendance at the party.

You don’t go playing a Happy Feet sound at a funeral, or a goodbye sound at a party:

• You could put a sleep-deprived person to sleep with the monotony of your drumming.

12. Now I see the problem, you should have never picked a drumstick.

Having a friend who brings disaster to life, by picking up his drumstick could be annoying, he drums on any surface, anywhere, anytime. And he is never with a drum but always with a drumstick.

Insult your friend with this statement to put a leash on him:

• You have mastered the art of making noise, without direction, or goal with your drumstick.

13. I love your beat. It almost sounded like drumming but it didn’t.

This is an indirect insult with a powerful message, and it can be easily understood.

The statement indicates a drummer performing with no professionalism, he simply fell into the trap of getting toasted, this insult is the perfect shot at drawing a speechless reaction from a drummer who just got burned.

• If you are to drum to save your life, you will be dead two seconds after picking up a drumstick.

14. Making this lot of noise should be illegal don’t you think?

Have you met a drummer who is anxious to perform, but lacks professionalism?

Disturbing noise is the only sound they can produce. While to them they just delivered a master class, and nothing annoys more than meaningless noise, it always finds its way up to the brain easily.

Deliver your insult this way:

• Your drumming is a symphony of disarray and confusion, the perfect embodiment of chaos.

15. You look angry beating that drum, you look like a plastic spoon in the world of noodles.

Beating a drum is a thing of focus, professionals create beats from what they feel inside.

Drummers create music by beating drums, but once drummers are absent-minded, they can easily get lost in a second, and with that short time chaos could be created.

Drummers create a medium for singers and will determine if we are going to enjoy the song about to be performed or not.

• Do you intentionally skip beats or do you just hit things at random and hope for the best?

16. I heard you always give the best performance when you play for yourself

This statement indicates a poor performance from a drummer, who failed to deliver a sweet rhythm from his beat, and the only thing you can create with a drum if not melodious is chaos.

During the performance, it is either you at your best or you are not there yet.

Try smiling a bit while delivering this insult:

• You are so talented at taking a basic beat and turning it into a full-blown percussion disaster.

17. You should consider drumming for the military, am sure they will only make you play for the firing squad.

This is one of the easiest ways to tell a drummer his performance was terrible, and he refuses to be the life of the party instead, he killed the show with noise and meaningless sounds.

Those sounds won’t be so bad for the firing squad, a man about to be executed won’t mind the sound, since they don’t have a choice.

• Your drumming is destructive and utterly uncontrollable, much like a tornado in a music store.

18. I heard the only place you get invited to perform is outside.

Your friend who loves to drum oversteps his boundaries by making fun of the way you drum and you have never claimed to be a professional.

You even play better than him who calls himself professional, and claims to have gathered enough experience only to play awfully.

Cleverly insult him with this statement:

• Your drumming is so unconventional that it sounds like you are always up against the metronome.

19. I will never forget the first time I watched you play, but I will keep trying.

Memories are beautiful things of the past, but having a terrible drummer as a friend is never one.

He reminds you of the days he embarrassed you and himself the first time he performed, and you were the only one cheering for him among the crowd. Anytime you see him with a drumstick gives you PTSD.

Happily insult him this way:

• Your drumming is unavoidably irritating, and repetitive, reminds me of a broken record.

20. Amuse me, for the first time, play something interesting.

Having a friend, who makes sure you are the first to listen to his terrible drumming skills can be so annoying, he awaits with so much enthusiasm the day you will tell him something great about him being a drummer, but you never see that day coming soon.

Insult him with a smile, maybe he will pick a new hobby because this is never going to work:

• By the time you get to play something nice, I won’t be able to hear it, would have lost my hearing to old age.