20 Best Roasts for Ugly People

Best Roasts for Ugly People

Wouldn’t it be nice if you knew how to throw some burning hot shade at people whose face terrifies you?

It could be a truthful comment about how their personality or a feature about their face is terrible, whatever it is, it should burn!

Well this article got you covered as I have compiled a list of 20 best roasts for ugly people. These witty comebacks will surely help you keep ugly people off your radar. 

If this intrigues you, then make sure you read until the end to get the best of the best roast expressions. 

Table of Contents

List of 20 Best Roasts for Ugly People

  1. Your face is the same as a restraining order, it makes people stay away. 
  2. I envy everyone that does not have to see your face every morning. 
  3. I would rather live in my nightmares than live a day in your body. 
  4. Where were you when God was sharing beauty in heaven? Stuck in a ditch? 
  5. Your nose is so beautiful to be stuck on such an ugly face. 
  6. I would have loved to see you, but I realized that that would have been a nightmare. 
  7. You are the main reason why a plastic surgeon’s job is very important to mankind. 
  8. You don’t need a touch up or a slight modification, you need to be reborn. 
  9. I can’t imagine how sad you make the mirror feel anytime you steer at it. 
  10. You definitely don’t need a costume if you’re going to be playing an ogre. 
  11. Your heart is so kind and beautiful, it’s the complete opposite of your face. 
  12. Having to look at you for ten minutes straight is more of a punishment than spending a decade in prison. 
  13. You have a sweet voice to keep the men rushing in but the face to send them rushing out. 
  14. You look like a Gorilla and a Hyena made love to give birth to you. 
  15. If I was to wish for changes to be made to your face, there would be no face left. 
  16. Everyone looks better after a makeover, but with you, it’s all over. 
  17. I am exposed to more harm seeing your face than swimming in an ocean filled with sharks.
  18. Dating must be so impossible having such a hideous face. 
  19. Whoever tells you that you’re beautiful is a pathological liar. 
  20. There’s no amount of charm that can replace your level of lack of beauty. 

Your face is the same as a restraining order, it helps people stay away. 

If I was going to make a ugly person get mad then I would certainly use an expression like this. 

This sentence compares the person’s face to a restraining order which is meant to keep people away. It is an hilarious way of describing how ugly a person’s face is, that no one would want to get close to them. 

  • I can’t afford to get a restraining order against him so your face is an affordable option. 
  • Your face reminds me of a restraining order, maybe that’s why I decided to stay away. 

I envy everyone that does not have to see your face every morning. 

Best Roasts for Ugly People

How hilarious is a phrase like this! It’s like you’re aiming to get an ugly person to throw tables at you because it’s surely going to hurt. 

Being envious of people who haven’t seen the person’s face is like saying that the most unfortunate thing that ever happened to someone is seeing the person’s face, which is very insulting to whoever you’re referring to. 

  • People who haven’t seen your face do not know how lucky they are. 
  • Why do I have to be so unlucky, I have to see your ugly face every day. 

I would rather live in my nightmares than live a day in your body. 

This funny comment implies that living in your nightmares, which are typically unpleasant, would be preferable to inhabiting the body of the person being insulted. 

It suggests that the physical appearance of the person is so unattractive or repulsive that even experiencing nightmares would be more desirable than being in their body.

  • Living in my nightmare sounds more fun than living in your body. 
  • My nightmare is a paradise next to living as you for a day. 

Where were you when God was sharing beauty in heaven? Stuck in a ditch? 

Best Roasts for Ugly People

Questions like this could make an ugly person cry like a baby. 

This insult suggests that the person’s appearance is so lacking in beauty that it’s as if they were absent when beauty was being distributed in heaven.

The implication is that they missed out on receiving any measure of attractiveness, and instead, they were metaphorically “stuck in a ditch.”

  • I don’t you were present when God was sharing beauty in heaven. 
  • You were stuck in a ditch in heaven, that’s why you missed out on the beauty. 

Your nose is so beautiful to be stuck on such an ugly face. 

This insult employs irony by complimenting a specific feature (the nose) of the person’s face while simultaneously denigrating their overall appearance. 

By implying that the nose is too beautiful to be on their face, it suggests that the rest of their facial features are so unattractive that they detract from the beauty of the nose. 

  • Your nose is so gorgeous, it’s so sad that it has to be on your face. 
  • I would have loved it if your beautiful nose wasn’t on your face. 

I would have loved to see you, but I realized that that would have been a nightmare. 

Best Roasts for Ugly People

An insult line like this implies that encountering the person would be so unpleasant or terrifying that it would feel like experiencing a nightmare. 

By associating the idea of seeing them with something negative like a nightmare, it suggests that their presence is undesirable. 

  • It’s always a nightmare seeing you. 
  • I would rather have a nightmare than see your face. 

You are the main reason why a plastic surgeon’s job is very important to mankind. 

What a funny way of insulting an ugly person. The expression implies that the person’s appearance is so unattractive that they would greatly benefit from the services of a plastic surgeon to improve their looks. 

 It indirectly criticizes their natural features and insinuates that they would be more acceptable or attractive if they underwent cosmetic procedures. 

  • Plastic surgeons must be very good people for them to be able to turn your face around. 
  • Your face must constantly cry out for help from a plastic surgeon. 

You don’t need a touch up or a slight modification, you need to be reborn. 

It would surely be painful for an ugly person to hear that their face needs a complete transformation for it to be considered beautiful which makes this insult very clever and useful. 

Perhaps you have someone who’s ugly and mean to you, then this expression would put them right where they belong, which is at the bottom.

  • Your face does not need makeup, it completely needs a transformation.
  • Your ugly face is the kind of face that can not be fixed.

I can’t imagine how sad you make the mirror feel anytime you steer at it. 

This insult suggests that the person’s appearance is so unappealing that it causes sadness to the mirror, which reflects their image. 

It metaphorically implies that the mirror is affected negatively by their presence, it emphasizes the perceived ugliness of the person and insinuates that even inanimate objects are affected by their unattractiveness. 

  • Your mirror must be very sad, you have to look at it everyday. 
  • Your face is so ugly, even your mirror is sad to reflect it. 

You definitely don’t need a costume if you’re going to be playing an ogre. 

Best Roasts for Ugly People

Nothing hurts more than comparing an ugly person to a monstrous character. a fictional creature often depicted as large, monstrous, and unattractive. 

 It emphasizes their perceived ugliness and implies that they don’t need a costume to play such a character because their appearance already fits the role. 

  • If you’re going to be an ogre in your next life, then you shouldn’t have to prepare now. 
  • Being an ogre must be very normal for you, right? 

Your heart is so kind and beautiful, it’s the complete opposite of your face. 

Whoever you have on sight to really throw some burning shade definitely needs a line like this one.

This insult backhandedly compliments the person’s heart while simultaneously insulting their physical appearance.

By praising the kindness and beauty of their heart, it contrasts sharply with the implied lack of attractiveness in their face. 

  • Your heart is like a unicorn while your face is like an ogre. 
  • You have a kind soul but too bad your face does not show that. 

Having to look at you for ten minutes straight is more of a punishment than spending a decade in prison. 

An expression like this implies that the person’s appearance is so unpleasant or repulsive that simply looking at them for a brief period of time feels like a punishment worse than spending a much longer time in prison. 

By equating the experience of viewing their face to a severe punishment, it emphasizes their perceived unattractiveness.

  • I would rather spend a century in prison than having to see your face. 
  • If I had to look at your face for ten minutes then I would have to be very terrified. 

You have a sweet voice to keep the men rushing in but the face to send them rushing out. 

If you’re aiming to be funny alongside burning an ugly person, then this is the right line to use.

This expression means that while the person may have an appealing or attractive voice, their physical appearance is so unattractive that it drives people away. 

Ultimately, it implies that despite having one attractive trait, their overall appearance is off-putting. 

  • Your voice is like a man magnet but your face is the resistant force. 
  • I wouldn’t want to be happy with your face regardless of your angelic voice. 

You look like a Gorilla and a Hyena team up to give birth to you. 

This insult combines the imagery of two animals typically associated with unattractiveness or ferocity—gorillas and hyenas—to describe the person’s appearance in a derogatory manner.

It shows their perceived ugliness and perhaps even attributes negative qualities associated with these animals to the person.

  • You must be related to a gorilla to be able to look like this. 
  • You look like a hyena and a gorilla had something to do with your birth. 

It’s important to be hilarious while insulting a person which 

If I was to wish for changes to be made to your face, there would be no face left. 

This insult implies that the person’s appearance is so unattractive that even if changes were made to improve it, there would be nothing recognizable or appealing left of their face. 

It means their perceived ugliness implies that their face is irredeemably ugly. 

  • Your face can not be fixed, it would be completely damaged. 
  • I wish your face wasn’t so bad to look at. 

Everyone looks better after a makeover, but with you, it’s all over. 

The brilliant use of word rhymes, ‘makeover’ and ‘all over’, makes this insult very clever and fun to use on an ugly person. 

It highlights that no amount of cosmetic enhancement or alteration could improve their looks, it emphasizes their perceived ugliness and implies that they are beyond help in terms of appearance.

  • You make a makeover hopeless, I think it’s over for your face. 
  • It’s all over for a face like yours, even a makeover wouldn’t work. 

I am exposed to more harm seeing your face than swimming in an ocean filled with sharks.

This expression suggests that the person’s appearance is so repulsive that merely looking at their face poses a greater threat or discomfort than swimming in an ocean filled with sharks, which is widely considered a dangerous and life-threatening activity. 

It is a great use of hyperbole as it exaggerates the degree of the person’s unattractiveness. 

  • I really hate how your face looks, it’s so dangerous. 
  • I wish you knew how much risk I am taking, looking at your face. 

Dating must be so impossible having such a hideous face. 

Romance is a very essential part of a human’s life which would probably be the reason why this expression would be hurtful for an ugly person. 

Saying that an ugly person’s dating life would be impossible is implying that they are not beautiful enough to attract people of the opposite sex. 

  • Your dating life history must be blank, I understand it’s because of your face. 
  • I know your face will make dating very hard for you. 

Whoever tells you that you’re beautiful is a pathological liar. 

This is a direct jab for your ugly nemesis or friend that you might like to tease. 

It means that they are not beautiful and that whoever says that is a pathological liar and should probably not be listened to. It’s a nice line to get any ugly person begging for mercy. 

  • You’re a liar because you said she’s beautiful. 
  • She’s not beautiful but you’re certainly a liar for saying she is. 

There’s no amount of charm that can replace your level of lack of beauty. 

Imagine telling someone that their charm will never be enough to fill in for their lack of beauty with a comical tone to it, it’s going to be too brutal. 

It would be perfect if you use this expression in the right context amongst your friends, it would really make it effective. 

  • Your incredible charm doesn’t still make your ugliness less noticeable. 
  • Your charm is not enough to cover up your ugly face.

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