20 Funny Hairline Roasts for Someone with Receding Hairline

Funny Hairline Roasts for Someone with Receding Hairline

People with receding hairline can be a hilarious sight and a temptation to poke fun at them.

Receding hairline is a prevalent kind of hair loss in which the hairline forms an “M” shape as it goes away from the forehead and temples, and it can occur in both males and females.

If you need light-hearted jokes to say to someone with a receding hairline, then this article is for you.

In this article, you will find the best humourous roasts, classic punchlines, and one-liners, sarcastic expressions for someone with a receding hairline.

Table of Contents

Here are  20 Funny Hairline Roasts For Someone with a Receding Hairline

  1.  Your dad couldn’t afford you a car but gave you that hairline ‎
  2. Your hairline is the reason we can’t move forward in this company; you keep drawing us back
  3. Met a few fire victims and they still have a better hairline than you
  4.  Hiroshima after the bomb incident still has a better landscape than your head
  5. Your hairline could compete with rat leftovers, they are all over the place
  6.  Looking into your eyes with such a hair-line reminds me of a time I was stranded
  7. Heard your hairline is a nightmare to every salon you visit.
  8. If your hairline is the way to heaven, no one is going to make it by going forward
  9.  Jesus Got crucified for our sins, what did you do to deserve such a hairline?
  10.  When the pastor prayed against all that could pull us back this year, your hairline crossed my mind
  11. I can’t help to think you are not created in God’s image.
  12. If your hair was man-city you would  be at the bottom of the table
  13. I haven’t seen a vulture before but seems you have a similar hairline
  14. How do you survive having such a hairline, the least you should be going through now is depression
  15. The funny thing is you look like you have an extra pair of forehead
  16.  Describing what you look like to anyone is so difficult without your hairline
  17.  The month of February and your hairline have  a thing in common; the word incomplete
  18. Can you please maintain a distance, it is hard to think your hairline isn’t communicable
  19.  Your profile says you are 35, but your hairline draws you closer to your grave.
  20. It’s hard to see someone with such a hairline happy, I can understand you are always sad.

1.Your dad couldn’t afford you a car but gave you that hairline ‎

If you are in a roast fight with a bully who has a receding hairline, this insult-laced roast is the perfect roast to deflate their ego. 

It is so hilarious and at the same time, an all-time bang to draw laughter from others present there. This roast is more effective than throwing punches at him.

Deliver your roast this way and watch him cower in shame;

  • You know, I have seen less privileged people with better hairlines than this.
  • The only thing you can boast of as inheritance is your hairline.

2. Your hairline is the reason we can’t move forward in this company; you keep drawing us back

Playfully suggesting that your colleague’s hairline is the reason the company can’t move forward is another humorous exaggeration you can use to roast your colleague at work, who has a receding hairline.

The humorous effect of this roast is so contagious that I can’t keep laughing. Tell me why your boss and other colleagues of yours won’t laugh in hysteria.

Imagine delivering this punchline at the board meeting. Don’t wait for chips at the end of the meeting, just go home straight. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

  • Your hairline is the reason we can’t move forward in this company; you keep drawing us back. 
  • Our boss says in high hopes, we are moving forward this year. (Wink at your friend and whisper); can’t say the same about your hairline.

3. Met a few fire victims and they still have a better hairline than you

“Another bang!” In Dj. Khaled’s voice… If you are having a boring evening and you are itching for fun amongst the guys, this classic roast is a great one to switch the roast banter on.

This is an exaggerated statement that signifies how bad such a person’s hairline is.

It used exaggerated lines to draw a humorous effect. Try using this one-liner and get ready for a roast fist.

  • Your hairline is even worse than someone who survived a fire disaster
  • Phew! I would choose the hairline of someone who survived a fire disaster rather than yours.

4. Hiroshima after the bomb incident still has a better landscape than your head

This is definitely a hard jab at someone with a receding hairline and an iconic way to roast such a person.

The roast uses the historical context of the atomic bombings of the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki that took place on the 6th and 9th of August 1945.

With this, this roast signifies that even as devastating as the Hiroshima landscape was after the bombing, it is still better than the person’s head.

This is a clever insult that can be used to roast someone with a receding hairline.

  • Your hairline is more devastating than the landscape of Nagasaki after the bombing.
  • Hiroshima after the bomb incident has a better landscape than your trapezium head.

5. Your hairline could compete with rat leftovers, they are all over the place

This is another epic line you can use to get at someone with a receding hairline.

Trust me when I say telling someone who has a receding hairline that they are in competition with rat leftovers is a perfect way to make them sweaty.

You can add “sorry” to add this mocking effect to the roast;

  • Sorry to say this but your hairline looks like it’s in a competition with rat leftovers.

6. Looking into your eyes with such a hair-line reminds me of a time I was stranded

Funny Hairline Roasts for Someone with Receding Hairline

Use this beautiful line of sarcasm to roast your old buddy and be prepared to be hit on the head because it is a funny roast to suggest their hairline reminds you of when you are broke.

  • There is something nostalgic about your hairline I can’t resist; Ah! It reminds me of when I was broke.

7. Heard your hairline is a nightmare to every salon you visit

Funny Hairline Roasts for Someone with Receding Hairline

Describing someone with a receding hairline as a nightmare to every salon get visit is another funny way to poke fun at them.

This is even perfect for such a person who hates to visit the salon because of his hairline and inability to barb trendy hairstyles.

8. Heard you stopped visiting the salon because your hairline scares the hairdresser

If your hairline is the way to heaven, no one is going to make it by going forward

Another sarcastic comment to roast your friend with a receding hairline in a roast fight, and make him fuel for a classic revenge that he might not get. 

This is just another figurative way of describing how bad their hairline is; so bad that there is no redemption for it.

  • If your hairline were a yardstick to measure if you would go to heaven, I can assure you you wouldn’t smell the path to heaven.

9. Jesus Got crucified for our sins, what did you do to deserve such a hairline?

A roast laced with pitiful jest and mockery is a smart and confusing way to go after your opponent in a word banter.

First, they misinterpret it as concern and in the next seconds, they get the jab.

  • I wonder what your forefathers did to God to deserve this hairline.

10. When the pastor prayed against all that could pull us back this year, your hairline crossed my mind

Do you have an annoying friend who always steps on your toes? Then this roast is capable of putting him in a calm state for the rest of the day.

You know you don’t have to beg him to stop this time around, just look at him and say;

  • Today in church, when the pastor asked us to pray against all that could pull us back this year, I prayed against your hairline. 

11. I can’t help to think you are not created in God’s image.

Be creative in your roast game using these witty lines. This simply implies that their receding hairline disqualifies them from being humans. So instead of saying they are ugly with their receding hairline, which can be bland, say;

  • Every time we sing the “All things wise and Beautiful” hymn and I accidentally look at your hairline, I can’t help but replace “beautiful” with “fearful”.

12. If your hair was man-city you would be at the bottom of the table

The notion that if someone with a receding hairline was Man-city, they would be at the bottom of the table is an ironic statement to roast someone with a receding hairline.

Man City is always at the top of the league so ironically you mean nothing can bring back their hairline no matter how hard they try.

  • I heard Mbappe won the highest goal scorer for 2023. Impossible, right? So, is the thought of growing your hairline.
  • What’s one way to describe impossibilities? Your hairline

13. I haven’t seen a vulture before but seems you have a similar hairline

Saying someone with a receding hairline has a similar hairline to a vulture is another epic way to roast someone with a receding hairline.

You can use this in a roast game to show how prepared you are.

Trust me, if you haven’t been noticed before as someone good in the roast business, this will do the job of showcasing your abilities.

  • It’s difficult to say you don’t look like a vulture when you look like one with that hairline.

14. How do you survive having such a hairline, the least you should be going through now is depression?

Use this roast for your corky friend who thinks life revolves around him. Give him some moment of serious thinking by reminding him he has got a hairline to worry about.

Don’t worry, it’s not bad to tease Mr.Happy Soul a bit, and this roast is just the most suitable for the occasion.

  • I see you go around gingerly like you have everything sorted out, well, minus your depressing hairline.

15. The funny thing is you look like you have an extra pair of forehead

Another hilarious way to roast someone with a receding hairline is to tell them they look like they have an extra pair of foreheads with their hairline. This roast goes a long way in making everyone roll in laughter.

  • Your hairline makes you look like you have an extra pair of forehead

16. Describing what you look like to anyone is so difficult without your hairline

If you have a friend whose prominent feature of him is only his hairline, then this roast is the most appropriate to use for such friend.

It’s a paradoxical way of telling them mildly that their hairline makes them stand out when on deeper understanding, it is actually a roast in disguise.

  • I heard our homeboy won the “most prominent” award because of his hairline.
  • There is no John Smiggle without his hairline.

17. The month of February and your hairline have a thing in common; the word incomplete

Spice your roast with this hot savagery expression for someone with a receding hairline. You can use it in a word banter with your friend who has a receding hairline and watch him green with revenge.

You can start off by indulging him, then take him by surprise;

  • Are you born in February? Because your hairline spells the word incomplete.

18. Can you please maintain a distance, it is hard to think your hairline isn’t communicable

Another savage expression to roast your friend, and leave him grumpy for some minutes. Telling them their hairline is a subtle way to step on their toes but be sure that they get the jokes.

  • Social distance please, your hairline is like COVID-19; highly communicable.
  • Your hairline is contagious, always conceal it with a nose mask.

19. Your profile says you are 35, but your hairline draws you closer to your grave

Funny Hairline Roasts for Someone with Receding Hairline

Do you have a friend who is young age-wise but with his receding hairline, looks like a 90-year-old? Then this roast can be used to poke fun at him:

  • Profile says 35, but that hairline’s on a fast track to retirement.
  • Age on paper: 35; hairline’s telling a different tale, leaning towards ‘rest in peace.

20. It’s hard to see someone with such a hairline happy, I can understand you are always sad

Using a make-believe line that people with receding hairlines are always unhappy is another smart way to roast them. Use these classic lines to roast your friend or colleague completely.

  • People with a receding hairline like you and unhappiness are like the snail and its shell; inseparable!

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