20 Funny Roasts for a Kid Named Jacob

Funny Roasts for a Kid Named Jacob

Do you know any kid named Jacob and you want to roast them?

Kids can be fun to be with, and engaging in roast battles is one way to have fun with them.

You can use humorous and savage lines to tease them for a good laugh. What’s more, you can use these punchlines to call them out when they misbehave.

So, if you need funny one-liners you can use to roast a kid named Jacob, this article is for you. In this blog post, you’ll find interesting punchlines you can use to poke fun at a kid named Jacob.

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20 Funny Roasts for a Kid Named Jacob

Jacob is a beautiful name, one of the famous Bible names Christian parents name their kids. If you need to roast any child named Jacob, these hilarious puns and comparisons will work well.

For instance, “How do you trap Jacob? Make him fall in love,” “You’re more disappointing than the porridge you fed your brother” and “I just found out the meaning of Jacob. It means ‘greed’.”

Below are 20 Funny Roasts for a kid named Jacob:

  1. Jacobs are natural deceivers, you shouldn’t trust them
  2. Why did Jacob give out his porridge? Because he was cooking something more dangerous
  3. Why are kids named Jacob not smart? They spend all their time wishing they were born first
  4. Jacob was a cunning man in the Bible. I can see you take after him, even at this age 
  5. You should avoid any kid named Jacob. And if he’s a twin, you should run for your life
  6. You’re just a mindless kid who’ll do anything for love 
  7. How do you trap Jacob? Make him fall in love 
  8. What’s the difference between you and Jacob in the bible? Despite his trickery, he was dependable
  9. Do you know the difference between you and a dog? You can actually tame a dog
  10. I just found out the meaning of Jacob. It means “greed”
  11. Jacob is a beautiful name, but sadly, I’m yet to see the beauty in you
  12. I think you should change your name from Jacob to jerk. You’re more of a jerk
  13. When I hear “Jacob,” I think of a smart kid, but with you, I’m too shocked to think
  14. You’re more disappointing than the porridge you fed your brother
  15. I see you lack wit. You should beg your ancestors for help 
  16. Whenever you appear, you make all the joy disappear
  17. How I wish I could stop seeing you You remind me of a bad day
  18. I can never trust you. If you can fight with God, there’s nothing you can’t do
  19. So your name is Jacob. It sounds like something an old man will bear
  20. Your name would have been cute if only you were cute 

Jacobs Are Natural Deceivers, You Shouldn’t Trust Them 

“Jacobs are natural deceivers, you shouldn’t trust them” is one of the things to say to roast a kid named Jacob.

This is a funny line that references the story of Jacob and his brother Esau in the Bible. Jacob had deceived his brother countless times.

So, this one-liner will work well in the presence of other kids. It’ll serve as a bit of advice you give other children, warning them against someone named Jacob.

Why Did Jacob Give Out His Porridge? Because He Was Cooking Something More Dangerous

Another funny way to roast a kid named Jacob is with this crazy line that references the story of Jacob and his brother in the Bible.

Esau had asked for Jacob’s porridge, and Jacob had given him in exchange for his birthright.

So, this is something you can say to children you’re discussing the story with. It’s a hilarious way to taunt Jacob, implying that he gave out his porridge with a bad intention.

Also, it’s a play on words that’ll get everyone laughing.

Why Are Kids Named Jacob Not Smart? They Spend All Their Time Wishing They Were Born First 

Another hilarious way to make fun of a kid named Jacob is with this crazy line.

This one-liner is also a reference from the Bible story. Esau was regarded as older because he was born first.

So, this line taunts them, implying that they always wish they were the firstborn, which makes them not smart.

Also, it’ll work well for a kid who isn’t the first child.

Jacob Was a Cunning Man in the Bible. I Can See You Take After Him, Even at This Age 

Another way to tease a child named Jacob is with this comparison with Jacob in the Bible.

First, Jacob is referred to as a cunning man because of the trickery he used on his father and brother.

So, you can use this line to call out a kid who’s deceptive. It’s a funny way to roast them.

You Should Avoid Any Kid Named Jacob. And if He’s a Twin, You Should Run for Your Life 

This one-liner is another funny way to ridicule a kid named Jacob. It’ll work as a bit of advice for children.

Giving them this piece of advice in front of their friend named Jacob will certainly sting. Also, adding that they should run if he’s a twin makes it more hilarious.

In addition, it’ll work for kids who understand the story of Jacob in the Bible.

You’re Just a Mindless Kid Who’ll Do Anything for Love 

“You’re just a mindless kid who’ll do anything for love” is another classic insult you can use to roast a kid named Jacob.

This line ridicules them by implying that they’re senseless. Also, adding that they’ll do anything for love will surely sting.

  • You’re just a mindless kid who’ll do anything for love just like Jacob in the Bible that worked 14 years for the woman he loved
  • You’re just a mindless kid who’ll do anything for love. I’ll never take you seriously 

How Do You Trap Jacob? Make Him Fall in Love 

 Funny Roasts for a Kid Named Jacob

“How do you trap Jacob? Make him fall in love” is another thing to say to make fun of Jacob.

This is another hilarious reference to Jacob’s love story in the Bible. It ridicules them by implying that you can get them when they’re in love.

What’s the Difference Between You and Jacob in the Bible? Despite His Trickery, He Was Dependable

Another way to roast a kid named Jacob is with this line that accuses them of not being dependable.

First, it compares him to Jacob in the Bible, stating that he was still someone people could depend on despite his deceptive nature. 

Then, it further embarrasses them by stating that they’re not as good as him because they aren’t trustworthy. It’ll work for a kid you want to scold.

Do You Know the Difference Between You and a Dog? You Can Actually Tame a Dog 

“Do you know the difference between you and a dog? You can actually tame a dog” is another line you can use to roast a child named Jacob.

This one-liner will work when you want to scold them for misbehaving. In addition, you can use it during a roast duel to finish them.

Moreover, comparing them to a dog will hit hard.

  • A dog is better than you, it can be called to order
  • You’re not different from a dog only that it pays more attention to instructions 

I Just Found Out the Meaning of Jacob. It Means “Greed”

“I just found out the meaning of Jacob. It means ‘greed’” is another hilarious way to ridicule someone named Jacob.

You can use this line for a greedy kid, one who’s never satisfied with what they have. Telling them that the meaning of their name is “greed” will certainly hit them hard. 

Moreover, it’s a perfect way to call them out for their greedy nature.

  • No wonder you’re never satisfied. I just found out Jacob means “greed”
  • You can never be contented because your name means “a greedy man”

Jacob Is a Beautiful Name, but Sadly, I’m Yet to See the Beauty in You

“Jacob is a beautiful name, but sadly, I’m yet to see the beauty in you” is another thing to say to make fun of someone named Jacob.

This line will work well for a child, especially one that is stubborn. For instance, if they get into one of their ill manners, you can use this line to make fun of them for misbehaving.

  • Jacob is a beautiful name, but sadly, I’m yet to see the beauty in you. Your bad character has taken over it
  • Jacob is a beautiful name, but sadly, I’m yet to see the beauty in you. Maybe if you change your behavior, we can call all see it

I Think You Should Change Your Name from Jacob to Jerk. You’re More of a Jerk 

“I think you should change your name from Jacob to jerk. You’re more of a jerk” is another crazy line you can use to call out a kid named Jacob when they misbehave.

This is a hilarious line that attempts to make fun of their name while insulting their bad behavior. Also, asking them to change their name makes it more humorous.

It’ll work well with other kids around.

  • I think you should change your name from Jacob to jerk. Or jerky Jacob can do 
  • I think you should change your name from Jacob to jerk. You’re more of a jerk than a Jacob 

When I Hear “Jacob,” I Think of a Smart Kid, but with You, I’m Too Shocked to Think 

“When I hear “Jacob,” I think of a smart kid, but with you, I’m too shocked to think” is another punchline you can use to tease a kid named Jacob.

This is a classic one-liner that ridicules them. It implies that all Jacobs are smart, but their case is different.

Adding that you’re too shocked after meeting them to think emphasizes the degree of their dullness.

You’re More Disappointing Than the Porridge You Fed Your Brother

“You’re more disappointing than the porridge you fed your brother” is another interesting line you can use to tease a child named Jacob.

This is another funny reference to the story of Jacob in the Bible, where he gave his brother a bowl of porridge in exchange for his birthright.

So, you can use this punchline when you want to call them out for their disappointing behavior.

  • You’re more disappointing than the porridge you fed your brother. At least, it had little taste
  • You’re more disappointing than the porridge you fed your brother. I’ll choose it over you 

I See You Lack Wit. You Should Beg Your Ancestors for Help  Funny Roasts for a Kid Named Jacob

 

“I see you lack wit. You should beg your ancestors for help” is another thing you can use to roast someone named Jacob.

It’s a crazy line that ridicules them for their lack of intelligence. Also, asking them to beg their ancestors for help is a hilarious line that’ll finish them. 

Whenever You Appear, You Make All the Joy Disappear 

“Whenever you appear, you make all the joy disappear” is another one-liner you can use to tease a kid named Jacob.

This line will work well when they make an appearance. It tells them that nobody likes having them around. 

How I Wish I Could Stop Seeing You. You Remind Me of a Bad Day 

Another classic one-liner you can use to roast a kid named Jacob is by letting them know you’re not happy to see them.

Making this comment after they come to visit you will surely sting. Also, comparing them to a bad day will make it worse.

I Can Never Trust You. If You Can Fight with God, There’s Nothing You Can’t Do

This iconic punchline is another funny way to roast a kid named Jacob.

It’s another biblical story of Jacob, referencing when he fought with God. So, stating that you can’t trust them because of this old story is a hilarious way to poke fun at them.

So Your Name Is Jacob? It Sounds Like Something an Old Man Will Bear 

Another way to make fun of a kid whose name is Jacob is by implying that they’re not meant to bear the name.

This crazy line will ridicule them, as it implies that it sounds too old for a kid to bear. Also, it’ll work well after they introduce themselves.

Your Name Would Have Been Cute if Only You Were Cute

 Funny Roasts for a Kid Named Jacob

Another way to make fun of a kid named Jacob is with this one-liner that implies that they aren’t pretty.

It’s a classic insult that’ll work after they introduce themselves. Stating that their ugly face makes their name ugly will surely sting.

Wrapping Up 

Whether you want to call out your kid named Jacob for misbehaving, or you want to tease them playfully, these funny one-liners are good examples you can use.

So, feel free to make use of any of them to roast a kid named Jacob.

 

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