If you have a grudge for math, here’s your chance to get even with the teacher who ruined it for you.
If you love math but somehow, nothing about finding x has found its way into your daily life yet, get in here too.
This roast is for math teachers all over the world. There’ll be puns, wordplays and flipping of things on their heads.
Dig in.
20 Funny Roasts For Your Maths Teacher
1. Why do math teachers never have trouble falling asleep?
The numbers and alphabets on the board all look like chicken scrawls. But the math teacher believes these numbers form the foundations of life.
Math teachers often claim that solving equations is as easy as counting sheep for them. This joke plays on the idea that their expertise makes even complex problems seem like a breeze.
- Why do math teachers never have trouble falling asleep? Because they can always count on their problems to solve themselves!
- How does a math teacher sleep at night? By snuggling up with a good formula!
2. Why did the math teacher bring a ladder to the kitchen?
Math teachers often relate real-life situations to mathematical concepts. This joke humorously extends this to the kitchen, suggesting that even cooking involves intricate calculations.
Use this roast at the dinner table or at cookouts where your math teacher is attending.
- Why did the math teacher bring a ladder to the kitchen? To solve the problem of reaching the high shelf—it was a real upper-level math challenge!
- How does a math teacher make a sandwich? By carefully following the recipe, of course, using precise measurements and calculated spreads!
3. Why do math teachers make excellent gardeners?
What’s the difference between a math teacher and a gardener? Very little. One stands before a class of prospective adults, and the other trims hedges.
This joke combines the meticulous nature of math teachers with the patience required for gardening, suggesting that their attention to detail extends beyond the classroom.
Have a go at your math teacher with this roast and the audience will lose it with laughter. Add a little detailed storytelling to get your audience to see the humor here.
- Why do math teachers make excellent gardeners? They know how to use their roots to find the square root of a problem and cultivate solutions!
- What did the math teacher say to the wilting flower? Stop dividing and multiply!
4. Why did the math teacher get a pet snake?
Drawing a parallel between a math teacher’s love for equations and their choice of pets, this joke humorously implies that even animals at home get caught up in mathematical expressions.
Think of how a pet snake crawls through cracks: slowly, meticulously. The same way a math teacher helps her students make sense of those numbers.
- Why did the math teacher get a pet snake? Because she wanted a reptile that could really “squeeze” the problems out!
- How does a math teacher’s cat solve problems? By purr-fectly balancing equations, of course!
5. Why did the math teacher take a calculator to the grocery store?
Math teachers often stress the importance of budgeting and calculations in real-life situations. This joke exaggerates their affinity for numbers even when it comes to shopping.
Paint a picture of the math teacher moving from one shelf to the other, calculator in his hand, mumbling at the groceries. The cashier better be ready for this math teacher. He can’t be cheated.
- Why did the math teacher take a calculator to the grocery store? To deal with those “complex” discounts—it’s all about maximizing the savings!
- How does a math teacher shop for clothes? By making sure everything adds up, of course—they never buy into irrational sales!
6. How does a math teacher’s cat solve problems?
So the math teacher’s cat has existential problems too. He is an unusual cat. According to this roast, this cat solves these problems the way his owner does mathematics.
The humor is in the wordplay on word perfectly. This roast would be funnier if the math teacher really does have a cat.
- How does a math teacher’s cat solve problems? By purr-fectly balancing equations, of course!
7. How does a math teacher plow fields?
This roast plays on the imagination. The humor is found in the math tool called a protractor. Begin this roast by asking your audience what they think your math teacher would move on to after his teaching years.
Use this roast at your school graduation, if the circumstances allow.
- Student: How do you cultivate crops, Mr. Johnson?
- Teacher: I use a protractor to ensure my farming is on the right angle!
- How does a math teacher plow fields? With a protractor.
8. Why did the math teacher go to the beach with a pencil and paper?
The next time you see a math teacher at the beach, check for the pen and paper. Or check the sand for the signs: sine and cosine lines.
Whenever the waves come in and go back out, your math teacher can plot with his sine and cosine lines how many molecules were dragged in.
Or something along these lines. The point of this roast is, the math teacher never stops teaching, even at the beach.
- Student: Why are you bringing math stuff to the beach, Mr. Smith?
- Teacher: I’m just planning to catch some tan-gents and surf the sine waves!
- Why did the math teacher go to the beach with a pencil and paper? To draw sine and cosine waves.
9. Why did the math teacher go to therapy?
After all that math, therapy would be nice. This is not taking a dig at math or anything.
But anyway, in this roast, the suggestion is that after spending so many years solving math issues in school, the teacher found himself stretched out on the couch of a therapist.
The wordplay is on solving problems and dividing emotions.
- Why does the math teacher see a therapist? He needed help overcoming his deep-seated issues with long division!
- What’s a math teacher’s favorite therapy session? Solving problems and dividing emotions!
10. Why did the math teacher look sad?
Makes sense, doesn’t it? This funny roast is based on real issues: math textbooks are actual collections of problems. Imagine if you could store your problems in a book.
But anyway, the math teacher and his math textbook are inseparable. It’s like going around with problems. So if the math teacher is sad maybe it’s because of all the math problems it has to solve.
- Student: Why the long face, math teacher?
- Teacher: I’ve got 99 problems, and they’re all in this chapter!
- Why did the math teacher look sad? Because she had too many problems.
11. How does a math teacher stay organized?
We all dealt with squares in math class, at least at some point. Gladly, you can find squares outside of math too. This roast says the math teacher declutters his food with squares.
- Why is the math teacher’s lunch always so neatly arranged? Because he believes in having square meals—both in and out of the classroom!
- How does a math teacher stay organized? By having square meals!
12. What’s a math teacher’s diet secret?
Here’s another twist to the use of squares. In this roast the teacher figured out a great diet secret.
And he does this with the use of squares. Seems like squares have more uses outside of the classroom than we thought.
- What’s a math teacher’s diet secret? Maintaining order with square meals, of course!
13. Why did the math teacher become a chef?
Have you ever thought what it would be like if a math teacher started a bakery business?
This is the basis for this roast. A peculiar situation where the pies follow the rules of trigonometry. Or geometry. In this roast the pun is on the words pi and pie. Fitting, right?
- Why did the math teacher open a bakery? He wanted to share the joy of baking pi—not just calculating it!
- What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a chef? A person who can measure angles and bake perfect pies!
14. Why did the math teacher become a gardener?
The pun is on the word root. It paints the picture of roots of trees, flowers or shrubs. The circumstance can enhance the humor in this roast. Also you can apply some storytelling tactic in delivering the joke.
Because he wanted to square root the plants.
- Student: Why did you switch to gardening, Mr. Davis?
- Teacher: I wanted to help my students understand the roots of the problem—literally!
- Why did the math teacher become a gardener? Because he wanted to square root the plants.
15. Why did the math teacher always carry a tape to class?
In this roast the math teacher comes to class with a tape. There’s a pun on length, and on the idea of life’s longevity.
It’s best to use this pun if the math teacher is in your audience, and he or she is well along in years. This way you can really get the pun in. Also watch that your tone don’t demean age or the idea of it.
- Why did the math teacher bring a tape to class? Because he wanted to teach his students the importance of going to great lengths to solve problems.
- What’s a math teacher’s favorite tool? A tape, for measuring the steep slopes of equations!
16. Why did the math teacher bring a ladder to class?
For this teacher in this roast, one of his most important teaching tool is the ladder. You will find the humor in what the ladder is used for: to help students appreciate geometry the more.
You can begin this roast by highlighting the other professions where a ladder is needed. Then shock your audience by asking if they’ve ever thought a math teacher migjt need a ladder too.
- Our math class is really elevating; the teacher brought a ladder today!
- I asked my math teacher for help with angles, and he said, Let’s step up our game—bring in the ladder!
17. What did the math teacher say about the unruly fraction?
The pun here is on almost all the words associated with fractions in mathematics.
Proper and improper fractions, denominator—the words that describes the nature and types of fractions.
You could help your audience with a little background lesson before using this roast. Or use it only where you’re sure everyone understands the terms.
- Why did the math teacher scold the fraction during class? It wasn’t behaving properly and needed a lesson in common denominator discipline!
- How does a math teacher handle a rowdy fraction? He puts it in its place with a dose of common denominator discipline!
18. How does a math teacher solve relationship problems?
Still on words related to fractions. This funny roast applies the word in the realm of love and relationships. The words common and denominator are played on.
The humor is in the way they’re used outside of maths. Although you’d agree there’s some math to the matters of hearts too.
- Why did Ms. Rodriguez become a relationship counselor? She knew the key to a harmonious love life was finding the common denominator!
- What’s a math teacher’s advice for a successful relationship? Always simplify your differences to the common denominator of understanding!
19. What’s a math teacher’s favorite place in New York?
It has to be Times Square. And you can see why. The pun in this funny roast is found in the word, square.
Times Square is a place in New York that’s known to almost everyone. It is only fitting that the math teacher would love that place. There’s also a play on time.
- Asked my math teacher his favorite spot in NYC. Of course, it’s Times Square—he loves a good ‘times’ reference!
- Took my math teacher to New York, and he insisted on spending extra ‘time’ at Times Square. Numbers everywhere!
20. How did the math teacher plow through the pizza?
There has to be some mathematical expression needed to slice pizzas. That’s what this funny roast says. Pizzas are shaped peculiarly like cones.
And they always come in equal sizes—at least to the eyes. No one has ever tried to check if those slices all measure equally. The math teacher may have taken up this mission to measure the slices.
- Ordered pizza for the class, and our math teacher took charge—dividing it into perfectly equal slices!
- Watched in awe as my math teacher demonstrated the most precise pizza-cutting technique—it’s all about the fractions!
Final Thoughts
Roasts are fun because they give you the opportunity to use puns, play on words in amusing ways. They allow you to be flexible. In this article the funny roasts are about math teacher.
Be respectful when roasting your math teacher. The aim is to make everyone laugh, not to demean anyone or their job.