If you are looking for clever and light-hearted jokes to roast your pastor in a manner that you won’t sin against God or end up in hell- then this article is curated specifically for you.
This article is a compilation of the best hilarious roasts, lighthearted jokes, dark humor, sarcasm, and puns to use for your pastor.
Interestingly, to make it easier for you, it has been woven to suit according to your varied relationship with your pastor.
Let’s plunge into some heavenly roasts!
20 funny roasts for Your Pastor
There are various ways to tease a man of God or your pastor. However, the most important thing is to do so with the motive of inducing laughter, and for fun only.
Roast your pastor with the following light-hearted divine jokes, one-liners, and witty comments.
- Today’s service was more of a comical event and I couldn’t help but sleep throughout the service.
- Saving life shouldn’t be the only thing our pastor does; what about time?
- Pastor takes the holy communion like he is taking shots.
- Anytime our pastor describes hell, it seems as though he is Hades’ descendant
- Buying a new sound system is a waste of money; your voice is a woofer
- Our pastor is so religious, are you sure Jesus Christ didn’t tell him the exact date of the rapture
- If Jesus can feed his followers with bread and fish, I hope we are getting steaks from our pastor
- Pastor said life is full of vanity and heaven is the goal. Can I talk to him about his Range Rover Evoque?
- Believing our pastor by his words almost landed me in trouble. I thought I could heal the blind
- Forty days fast and prayers? Nah! Our pastor looked like one to get cranky if he missed breakfast
- Our pastor says he is prepared for the Grim Reaper but still walks in the convoy of bodyguards
- Perhaps our pastor should try 1x bet since he can predict the future
- Our pastor is so good at pastoring, that he would be jobless
- “Sir you are six feet tall; care to know how much Lebron James makes?”
- When a thug gets saved, we get another pastor in our church
- Pastor’s jokes are so good; that even the angels are considering a stand-up comedy career
- If humility were a sport, our pastor would be the reigning champion – and he’d probably deny it
- Pastor’s so patient; he never loses his cool, even when someone forgets to silence their phone during the sermon
- What’s a pastor’s favorite social media platform? Sermon on the Mount – it has the best views
- Our pastor says to look beyond physique when choosing a spouse but he has a Beyonce as a wife
1.Today’s service was more of a comical spree that I couldn’t help but sleep all through the service
This roast is pure irony; one that is witty and filled with humor once you can decipher it. You ask yourself, why should a service that is more of a comical spree double as a sleeping tab for such a person?
Verbal irony! Saying the exact opposite of what you feel, indirectly saying the service is boring- that is it; a witty roast you have got there.
Now down to the usage of this roast. The best occasion to use this roast is in an instance where you have been invited to worship with them in their place of worship.
As a first-timer that you are, your opinion on the service will be inquired from you. Just wait for the thoughts diffusing “How was the service today?” question and in a calm demeanour, explode in this manner:
- Oh today’s service was more of a comical spree that I couldn’t help but sleep all through the service
- Pastor’s sermons were like fine wine- how they made me tipsy throughout.
Bang! Isn’t it? Trust me, your pastor will get the message so perfectly well.
2. Saving life shouldn’t be the only thing our pastor does; what about time?
This epic roast is for you if you attend a church where the pastor there isn’t time-conscious.
We are in the dispensation where people have a short attention span, and tend to lose concentration in progression, especially when there’s nothing catchy to sustain their interest anymore.
So the next lucky time they call for a meeting in the church, and you are asked to give suggestions on what and how to improve the church; appear more intelligent and direct by using the roast above.
With this classic burner, You have not only pinpointed the good attributes of the pastor but also pinpointed the areas he needs work on.
Give them a piece of your mind in a roast-like manner:
- The congregation attendance would have been twice this number if our pastor added time to the list of sinners he saves.
- Today’s sermon is short. Hope to see a shorter version next Sunday.
3. Pastor takes the holy communion like he is taking shots.
This humorous roast is another funny statement to say to your pastor, especially if your pastor is a youth pastor and is such a person who roasts and understands roasts.
Assuming you and other church brothers are with the pastor in his office, having a good time after communion service, you can throw your light shade on him by saying;
- I have observed our pastor for a long time now, he takes holy Communion like he is taking shots. (You can be a little more dramatic by demonstrating)
I bet you everyone will be gagging on their giggles already.
4. Anytime our pastor describes hell, it seems as though he is Hades’ descendant
Roast your pastor who loves to talk about rapture, revelation, and the second coming of Jesus Christ every time with this classic burner.
Here you’re jokingly telling your pastor he holds a major degree in hell-study hence his vividness in descriptions.
- Our pastor’s creative way of describing hell means two things; either he has a degree in hello-sophy or he is Hades’ descendant.
5. Buying a new sound system is a waste of money; your voice is a woofer
In retrospect, I mentioned in this article that this roast will be sectioned according to your relationship with your pastor.
Here is a roast for you if you have a close friend who is a pastor. It makes more sense if your friend who is a pastor has a high-pitched voice.
Now imagine you both are having an evening chat and then he discusses the church’s intention of getting a new sound system for him; go sweet on him by saying
- Why waste money on a sound system when you are blessed with a voice like a woofer speaker?
The roast is certain to evoke laughter from your pastor friend and even set him in a good mood in case he is worried about fundraising.
6. Our pastor is so religious, are you sure Jesus Christ didn’t tell him the exact date of the rapture
Here is a sarcastic roast for your pastor who is a fanatic and upholds righteousness like a helm of tapestry.
Best suitable when your pastor is warning you against one thousand and one secular activities that are sins. You can be more respectful in passing your sarcastic comments like this:
- Sir, I bet if Jesus were alive he would be looking up to you as a role model
7. If Jesus can feed his followers with bread and fish, I hope we are getting steaks from our pastor.
Here’s another humorous tease to roast your pastor and make him give you a cornered glance. You can use this roast when you are in a hangout with your pastor.
Or in an instance where the church is planning a prayer outing with the pastor and the pastor addresses you all in the welfare unit: “I hope there is adequate preparation for food and drinks?”
Lighten the atmosphere when you reply;
- Sir, we wouldn’t mind if you fed us miraculously with steaks. Jesus in his own time fed his followers bread and fishes.
- Please, sir, help us tell Master Jesus we want our fish grilled.
8. Pastor said life is full of vanity and heaven is the goal. Can I talk to him about his Range Rover Evoque?
Most pastors ‘ sermons are always addressing vanity and its pursuit, right? When next your pastor talks about the bad side of vain things, playfully throw a roast at him in this manner;
- Sir, how about we discuss your latest Range Rover Evoque?
Here you are implying that your pastor is also buying himself a little of those vain things in the mildest way you can such that the reaction you get is a grin and not a frown.
9. Believing our pastor by his words almost landed me in trouble. I thought I could heal the blind
This is for you if you have a pastor who fills your mind with rhema and inspirational messages. Yes, you can use this exaggerated expression to roast your pastor who preaches about doing the impossible.
- I heard our pastor’s subscription got exhausted, he hasn’t renewed it because he has been using prayers to connect to the internet.
10. Forty days fast and prayers? Nah! Our pastor looked like one to get cranky if he missed breakfast
This is a subtle roast to poke fun at your pastor who doesn’t have a friendly countenance. It is more interesting if he has a pot belly. This will make the roast look so fitting and real.
Lucky for him he created the atmosphere for him to be roasted by announcing a forty days and night fast and prayers, let your roast drop immediately like a bowl of pounded yam by saying;
- With that big tummy, I doubt if our pastor ever skipped a meal since he was born.
- Forty days fast and prayers? Nah! Our pastor looked like one to get cranky if he missed breakfast.
11. Our pastor says he is prepared for the Grim Reaper but still walks in the convoy of bodyguards
You know you have had it to the brim when your pastor says when Jesus says it’s time he is ready to go and then you look at your pastor’s left and right manned by bodyguards. Ironical, right? Then this roast is suitable to use on your pastor.
By using this roast, you are buttressing the contrast between what your pastor preaches and what he practices. You can deliver this roast when you are in a hang-out with the pastor. Smile and say to your pastor;
- How about we send our pastor to Palestine to preach the word?
- Our pastor would soon retrench his security teams. He won’t be needing them again since our watchword for the year says “God is our protection.”
12. Perhaps our pastor should try 1x bet since he can predict the future
If you have a close relationship with your pastor then go ahead to roast him with these humourous lines in front of the boys. Watch your pastor playfully rebuke the evil spirit in you.
- It should be easy for the Pastor to give us sure 100 odds since he sees visions.
13. Our pastor is so good at pastoring, that he would be jobless if pastoring wasn’t in the picture
Roast your friend who is a pastor with this witty expression. It stings deeper especially when you have known your friend to be a pastor all his while. One good thing about this roast is that it starts as a compliment:
- Our pastor is so good at pastoring that he has already stopped attracting other professions.
- You and pastoring are a match made in heaven. No wonder you were never considered in other professions.
14. “Sir you are six feet tall; care to know how much Lebron James makes?”
Your pastor boasts of his contentment and every time he does that you wish you could roast him less offensively- then this roast is for you.
Now that you are equipped, When next your talk pastor says he is contented with what he has you can reply him with;
- I bet you would be tempted to quit being a pastor and pursue a career in basketball if you had the slightest idea how much Lebron James makes.
15. When a thug gets saved, we get another pastor in our church
Here is another classic roast to use for a pastor you don’t like, or who is so energy-charged. This way you are indirectly referring to their personality but doing so in a mild way.
- Sometimes, I get confused if up there at the pulpit is a Michael Pitt or a Mike Tyson.
16. Pastor’s jokes are so good; that even the angels are considering a stand-up comedy career
This one-liner is used to roast your pastor if he is the boring type and his attempts at jokes suck.
Rather than directly telling your pastor that he is boring which can be a little offensive and surely, be more creative and friendly using this roast;
- For the next service, I’m bringing a sadist to come laugh. Pastor jokes are so funny.
You can end it with a serious pout so that your message will be understood faster.
17. If humility were a sport, our pastor would be the reigning champion – and he’d probably deny it
Everyone keeps talking about your pastor’s humility but all you can think of is how to roast him. You can say this;
- If humility were a sport, our pastor would be the reigning champion – and he’d probably deny it.
And expect funny reactions from your listeners afterward.
18. Pastor is so patient; he never loses his cool, even when someone forgets to silence their phone during the sermon.
You have a pastor who is temperamental but you don’t want to say that out rightly rather you want to be witty with the statement. This roast filled with irony is the perfect one for this occasion.
- Our pastor is so cool; he smiles at you when you come late to workers’ meetings.
19. What’s a pastor’s favorite social media platform? Sermon on the Mount – it has the best views
Another way to roast your pastor who is a millennial (old school) is saying:
- What’s a pastor’s favorite social media platform? Sermon on the Mount – it has the best views
This is sure to evoke laughter amongst the Gen Z.
20. Our pastor says to look beyond physique when choosing a spouse but he has a Beyonce as a wife
This is a perfect roast for your pastor who has a curvy and beautiful wife yet advises you to look beyond the physical attributes when choosing a spouse. Roast your pastor completely by saying;
- I stopped prioritizing physical attributes in my search for a wife until I heard our pastor has a “Beyonce” for a wife.
Final Thoughts.
Research shows that… Just kidding! Roasts shouldn’t be too serious; you know why?
Roast is meant to evoke laughter and set you in a good mood, and making it too serious will tamper with the effect and impede the purpose it should serve.
Add expressions to your roast, and gestures, and be more confident when you are saying your roasts. Lastly, there is nobody you can’t roast once you have learnt the intrinsics of how to deliver a good roast.