Matthew is an interesting name, probably because it was one of the names of Jesus’ disciples and a writer of the Gospel.
However, it’s one of the names people have made a lot of jokes about. Roasting people based on their names can be fun, and Matthew is one name you can try.
If you need good jokes for someone named Matthew, this article has got you covered.
In this article, I’ll be discussing a list of interesting jokes for someone named Matthew. So, if you have anyone bearing this name, you can roast them with these classic lines.
15 Different Ways to Roast Someone Named Matthew
There are plenty of ways to roast someone named Matthew. You can create some funny stories from Matthew’s story in the Bible, and also give some crazy one-liners that will hit well.
For example, “Why are Matthews so ugly?” “I’m sure you wrote your gospel first thinking you’ll get a monetary reward,” and “Matts are not smart, people always step on them.”
Below are 15 funny roasts for someone named Matthew:
- Who’s a guy at the front door with no arms or legs? Matt
- What did Jesus see when he picked you
- Why are Matthews so ugly?
- I can’t trust you, you were a tax collector
- There must be another Matthew because you’re too dumb to write the Gospel
- I’m sure you followed Jesus because you thought you could rob him
- Matts are not smart. People always step on them
- You’re meant to remain on the floor
- I’m sure you wrote your gospel first thinking you’ll get a monetary reward
- Whenever I read you, my joy disappears
- Your parents named you Matthew because they hated you
- You’re a Matt, we can’t take you seriously
- Your opinion is as bad as your reputation
- You can’t follow me where I’m going, you’ll bring bad luck
- All Matts are beneath me
Who’s a Guy at the Front door with no Arms or Legs? Matt
One of the ways you can make fun of someone named Matthew is with this line, “Who’s a guy at the front door with no arms or legs? Matt.”
This is a ridiculous thing to say to tease them. Also, this is a smart way to make use of the short form of their name, Matt, to roast them.
It’s a punny statement that implies that they’re a mat (Matt), that’s kept on the front of the door.
This humorous comparison should get everyone laughing. Moreover, saying they have no leg or arm makes it funnier.
What Did Jesus See When He Picked You?
Another way to make fun of someone bearing the name Matthew is with this question, “what did Jesus see when he picked you?”
It’s a funny reference to the story in the Bible about Matthew being one of the disciples of Jesus.
Also, this question can imply many things. It could query their integrity, their qualities, or their intelligence. In addition, this question can work when they do something you’re not expecting from them.
It’s also a perfect comeback during a roast duel with them.
Here are some examples:
- What did Jesus see when he picked you? Because I don’t see anything, but a rude ugly boy
- I’m still failing to see the special thing in you that caught Jesus’ attention
Why Are Matthews So Ugly?
“Why are Matthews so ugly?” is another way you can roast someone bearing Matthew.
This is another funny question you can ask them that’ll sting well. Also, you should use this roast line at the perfect time to get the best reaction.
For instance, if they just walk into your group, casually ask this question to throw everyone into fits of laughter.
It’s a very smooth way to roast them with little effort.
Here are some examples:
- Why are Matthews so ugly? I heard the one in the Bible didn’t match other disciples in beauty
- Matthews are ugly. You’re the only Matthew that has an ugly personality as well
I Can’t Trust You, You Were a Tax Collector
Another thing you can say to roast someone named Matthew is, “I can’t trust you, you were a tax collector.”
This is another interesting roast line that relates to the story in the Bible.
In the Bible, the tax collectors were not held in high esteem, because people believed they worked for influential people to rip people off in the guise of collecting tax. Generally, they were regarded as sinners.
So, you can use this line to tease your friend during a casual conversation or business conversation. For instance, if your friend uses this statement, “You can trust me,” responding with this roast line will work perfectly.
Here are some examples:
- We should be careful of him, remember he was among the tax collectors and sinners
- No, don’t ask me to trust you. You’re Matthew
There Must Be Another Matthew Because You’re Too Dumb to Write the Gospel
“There must be another Matthew because you’re too dumb to write the Gospel” is another thing to say to roast someone bearing Matthew.
This is another hilarious way of referring to the Bible. Matthew was one of the four disciples who wrote the Gospel in the New Testament.
So, this sharp comeback will get everyone laughing. It’s a funny way of saying that they’re not smart.
Here are some examples:
- Please, can you call me another Matthew, this one isn’t smart
- I’m sure if Jesus were here, he wouldn’t pick you as his disciples
I’m Sure You Followed Jesus Because You Thought You Could Rob Him
“I’m sure you followed Jesus because you thought you could rob him” is another interesting way to roast someone bearing the name Matthew.
This is a hilarious way of calling them a thief. In the Bible, tax collectors were considered thieves, and Matthew was one of them before Jesus called him.
So, this inference implies that you think they’re a thief. It’s a funny thing to say to get everyone laughing. No one would see this coming.
Here are some examples:
- Oh you think you can rob me too like you robbed people in the Bible
- I’m sure you thought you could steal from Jesus, but he was smarter
Matts Are Not Smart. People Always Step on Them
“Matts are not smart. People always step on them” is another thing to say to roast a Matthew.
This is another play on words that refers to them as the mat that’s placed on the floor for people to step on. Also, it’s a funny way of calling them unsmart.
Also, it’ll work as a perfect one-liner during a roast battle, or when they do something wrong.
Here are some examples:
- I’m not surprised you’d act this way. That’s why people step on you
- You are a Matt, so I don’t expect much from someone who allows people to step on him
You’re Meant to Remain on the Floor
Another way you can roast someone named Matthew is with this stinging expression, “You’re meant to remain on the floor.”
This is another direct comparison to the mat that’s placed on the floor in people’s houses or establishments.
You can use this roast line as a good comeback when someone tries to insult you. Also, it’s a degrading statement that’ll sting well. It’ll work perfectly for someone who’s condescending.
Here are some examples:
- You don’t have any business talking to me, you should remain on the ground
- Who are you? You should remain on the floor where you’re meant for
I’m Sure You Wrote Your Gospel First Thinking You’ll Get a Monetary Reward
“I’m sure you wrote your gospel first thinking you’ll get a monetary reward” is another funny way to tease someone named Matthew.
It’s another humorous comparison to the story in the Bible, referring to him as a writer of the Gospel and also as a tax collector.
Also, it’s a witty and hilarious way to call them greedy. It’ll work well during a conversation that has to do with money.
Here are some examples:
- I’m not surprised you’ll want more after all you’re Matthew the tax collector
- You’re not just greedy, you’re Matthew
Whenever I Read You, My Joy Disappears
Another crazy way to tease someone named Matthew is with this expression, “Whenever I read you, my joy disappears.”
This is another funny way of referring to Matthew as one of the Gospel writers. In this case, you are inferring that they don’t like seeing them or they become sad whenever they appear.
Here are some examples:
- Seeing you saddens my day
- You’re as boring as your name
Your Parents Named You Matthew Because They Hated Yo
Another thing to say to make fun of a Matthew is, “Your parents named you Matthew because they hated you.”
This is another classic burner that you can use to roast someone with that name. Also, it’ll surely make them feel bad, as it implies that the name Matthew isn’t good.
You’re a Matt, We Can’t Take You Seriously
“You’re a Matt, we can’t take you seriously” is another comment to make if you want to roast someone bearing Matthew.
This is another punny expression that’ll get everyone laughing. Also, this statement infers that they’re a mat that’s placed on the floor and so can’t be taken seriously.
Say this line when you’re discussing something serious, especially with people around to get at them and get everyone laughing.
Here are some examples:
- And why should we take a (Mat)t seriously?
- You’re a (Mat)t, your business is at the front door
Your Opinion Is as Bad as Your Reputation
“Your opinion is as bad as your reputation” is another line you can use to roast someone named Matthew.
This is another funny inference to the story of the Bible of Matthew as the tax collector. To get the most out of this joke, use this punchline during a group conversation when they contribute.
Believe me, you’ll surely get the reaction you’re looking for.
Here are some examples:
- Okay, I can see you’re living up to your name with this silly comment
- You can keep all suggestions to yourself, we don’t want anything from a Matthew
You Can’t Follow Me Where I’m Going, You’ll Bring Bad Luck
“You can’t follow me where I’m going, you’ll bring bad luck” is another one-liner you can use to tease a Matthew.
Just as Matthew followed Jesus, you’re inferring that they’ll bring bad luck if they followed you, even though it was not the case with Jesus. This is something you can say when they attempt to accompany you somewhere.
Moreover, it’ll serve as a good roast line and a way to get them not to tag along.
Here are some examples:
- No please, just stick with Jesus, I don’t want you with me
- I don’t want you to follow me about, I’m not your lord and master
All Matts Are Beneath Me
“All Matts are beneath me” is another way to make fun of Matthew.
This is another play on words that compares them to foot mats at the door. Trust me, this statement will surely sting.
Takeaway
Roasting someone with their name can be interesting. So, if you know someone bearing Matthew, you can tease them by relating to some of the stories in the Bible and creating some humorous puns.
In the above article, I’ve given enough examples of good roasts for someone bearing Matthew.