Of all the people you will ever try to roast, dyed hair people will prove to be the most pain in the neck. After all, dyed hair can improve looks, making people look more appealing to the eyes.
But not anymore because now we got you covered.
I have scoured the underworld of roast-dom and come up with the best, funniest roasts for dyed hair. It doesn’t matter what color it is: brunette, red, or gold.
All you need to do is hunt down your dyed hair friend and roast them. Check the roast ideas below:
20 Hilarious Roasts for Someone With Dyed Hair
1. Conflict Of Personality
In this roast, you are taking a dig at the person with dyed hair for trying to be someone—or something—else.
If the person dyed their hair red and you or a relative has real red hair, then maybe they’re trying to be someone else. Do this roast with a smile. Make it lighthearted.
- We can’t have two of me, blud.
- I saw you, and I almost thought you were me.
2. Aliens In Harlem
In this roast, you are not in agreement with the makeover. That is, the dyed hair has you spooked and you’re tempted to call NASA.
Lately, there’s been rumors of abductions in Harlem or whatever your area is called. You should ask this person with the dyed hair if they could come with you to the hospital.
If the person asks why, tell them you want to be sure they’re not aliens who have taken over your friend’s body.
- If you walk on the person with dyed hair: Who are you? Are you an alien?
- Get on your knees (be a little dramatic) and say: give me back my brother or friend, please.
3. He Fell In Ink
Not all dye jobs achieve their aim. Anything could go wrong; from using inferior dye materials to unprofessional application. It could be just about anything.
So in this roast, you must wear a shocked expression to add some drama to your delivery. Then follow up with something like:
- Wait, bro, did you fall head-first in a bowl of dye?
- Who did your dye job? A blind guy?
4. Don’t Touch Anything!
Make this roast work by exaggerating the action of dying his or her hair. As soon as the person walks in, beg or order them not to touch anything in the house.
The reason is not far-fetched—so they don’t stain things with dye. This roast borders on the negative side of getting an unprofessional job on your hair.
- You just dyed your hair? Don’t touch anything!
- Keep your hands off the walls!
5. Dyed Hair For Detective Work
If the person who dyed his or her hair is a cop, even better for this roast. You can say they dyed their hair to go undercover.
If they have been trying to become a detective, then they must have dyed their hair to get into the program without being detected. That’s for practice.
This roast is best for a proper party roast where you have a stage. This roast also needs some expertise. If the person is a police official, lay out the information as groundwork before providing a punchline.
- Why did he dye his hair black? He’s undercover.
- He’s dyed his hair red. Hopefully he’ll slip through the academy undetected this time.
6. The Pursuit Of A Colorful Life
As noted earlier, some people dye their hair to improve their looks. In this roast, you exaggerate the circumstance by claiming the person’s life has hitherto been less than interesting.
The new color is an attempt to achieve happiness.
- Why did you dye your hair? Is it in pursuit of a colorful life?
- Apparently dyeing your hair can help with a colorful life.
7. Dye-versity
In this roast, the play is on the word diversity. You are sure to extract some laughs with this wordplay.
Apparently, the person who dyed his or her hair is trying to diversify his looks, which is cool. But seeing as this is a roast, we have to laugh.
- He dyed his hair because he’s a sucker for dye-versity.
- What’s this? Dye-versity?
8. Dyeing To Be Accepted
This roast goes hard. You have to be sure this person you’re roasting is your buddy and he gets humor. The roast: he dyed his hair because he wanted to be accepted.
It could be acceptance into the cult of red or brunette hair. But instead of saying it like it is, you play on the word dye.
- Apparently, he’s been dyeing to be a red hair.
- Guys, I present to you, someone who’s being dyeing to be a brunette.
9. A Dash Of Color
Say this person who dyed his or her hair is a chef. Why would he or she go on and dye their hair? Could it be to add some color to their dishes? Food can be colorful.
Chefs usually wear white jackets or aprons. A chef can dye his hair blue to add color. That’s the roast if delivered well.
- Have you seen chef’Deb’s new hair? It’s a dash of color to the dish.
- The chef dyed his hair. Is it on the menu?
10. A Silver Lining
You’re in luck if the person dyed their hair silver or some color close to it. The roast is even better if you’re seeing it for the first time and it’s early in the day.
Simply say, the person is the silver lining you’ve all heard of.
- Ladies and gentlemen, here comes the silver lining you’ve all heard of.
- Since you dyed your hair, our days have been better. Thanks, my silver lining.
11. Mr. Orange Man
If the dye is orange, use this roast. Orange color is bright. Orange is a happy, sunny color. It reminds you of orange juice. You can get your roast from any of these shades.
- Oh, what a happy group. Look, they have the orange man among them.
- Barry is here to make this meeting fun and juicy.
12. No Wash Day
If you think the dye job isn’t professional enough, then this roast is handy. This roast is best for an informal setting.
Perhaps while hanging out with friends. If you are close enough, touch the hair and declare:
- Looks like there won’t be wash days for Barry for a couple of days.
- You’d definitely be keeping your head out of the shower for a long time.
13. LGBTQ—S
This roast is a neat one if delivered well. It’s for when the color of the dyed hair rainbow, but you think it’s still not a good job.
You can say the guy is an LGBTQ wannabe. Give him his own letter S, which stands for—Spoiler.
- Bro, you’re the S in LGBTQ.
- What’s up, bro? Are you starting your own community?
14. A Vibrant Impression
This one is for you if you host a party and there’s someone in attendance who has dyed hair. As the person with the dyed hair is walking into the venue, say:
- Here comes the celebrant, and he’s already making a vibrant impression.
- Isn’t that a colorful and vibrant entrance?
15. A Dye-namic Ensemble.
Still as a host. If the celebrant comes into the party or show with his friends and they all have dyed hair, this is the roast for them.
Even better if they have different colors of dye. If you know about the dyed hair before the show, have them play along. They can feign mock embarrassment. This deepens the effect of the roast.
Letting the audience know about the dye creates anticipation for the punchline.
- Look at them. A dye-namic ensemble.
- One thing about dyeing your hair with your friends, you’ll have a dye-namic ensemble.
16. Dyed And Motivated
This roast connects the decision to dye the hair with becoming a motivational speaker.
Apparently, this person with dyed hair knows a thing or two about motivation since they went through with dyeing their hair. Make sure the person is a friend.
- I agree with you bud, you’d know about motivation since you just dyed your hair blue.
- We have to agree with bud on this. I mean, look at his pink hair.
17. Don’t Dye Alone
Suppose the guy with the dyed hair wanted the whole group to dye their hair but they refused. What happens to the friendship? Would he live and dye alone? It is a play on the word die
That’s your roast. And this one involves a group of friends who didn’t dye their hair. So make sure this roast happens when everyone is together.
- Sorry, bud. You’re gonna dye alone.
- I’m sorry you had to dye alone.
18. Highlight Of The Show
One more roast for show hosts. Say the central figure just dyed his hair and you know it. As the person comes in, introduce him as the highlight of the show.
Emphasize the word highlight after dropping hints about the pink or red hair.
- Please, give it up for the highlight of the show himself.
- I present to you, the brilliant, highlight of this show.
19. The Highlighter
If you teach, and one of your students is notorious for outrageous hair color dyes, this roast is your weapon. Out of the blue, request for a highlighter.
Then look the guy with dyed hair straight in the eye and say:
- Doug, please, your outrageously pink head.
- A highlighter, please. Oh, Doug’s hair will do.
20. Dyes A Little Every Week
Dyeing their hair is some people’s hobby. They dye their hair every week or so. Not that anything is wrong with this. But they have to be roasted, however. The roast plays on the word die.
- Selene loves gothic hair colors. She dyes every week.
- Selene won’t stop dyeing every week.
To Roast Or Not To Roast Someone With A Dyed Hair? – 2 Things to Consider
Roasts are fun. But sometimes they are not fun for those on the receiving end. This is why you need to know a few things about the fellow you want to roast.
Will They Get the Humor?
You need to be sure the person you want to roast is someone who won’t take offense easily. They must understand humor. You can always check with them. Or drop lighter jokes to see how they react.
Is the Timing Right?
You should avoid roasting people who are bereaved. Or someone who has just had a major surgery. Laughing too hard may send them back to the surgery room. And a bereaved person may feel disrespected.
Final Thoughts
As we always say, roasts can be fun if you do it right. Be respectful as much as you can. Always lay the groundwork for roasts.
Provide certain information about the subject matter before launching into the punchline of the roast. Know when to laugh before your audience, and when to keep a poker face.