Twitter (now called X) is arguably the best social media platform to find the hottest takes. People’s humanity is exposed on X everyday.
With the recent purchase of the platform by billionaire Elon Musk, Twitter now enjoys even more freedom of speech.
Which is why Twitter is the place you’ll find the best roasts. The ones that leave searing marks.
In this article we have compiled 40 of the funniest roasts that leave marks. One-liners, direct jabs with the criminal intent to make you burst out laughing.
Dig in.
40 Twitter Roasts That Definitely Left Their Marks
1. A Dying Date
If you’ve been on Twitter long enough then you must be familiar with dumb takes. On the surface of it, there’s some sense.
But you’d only subscribe to it out of mere solidarity. Elon wanted freedom of speech, and freedom of speech he gets.
When @AkanButNoJeezyy posted the tweet below, she was taking a jab at what she thought was a weak man.
Apparently, using an inhaler during a date is a red flag for her. @bukolaalada asked if she preferred a dead date.
2. The DIY Wealth
It wasn’t a dumb question. Hauwa asked one of the most important questions of our time—how to have Elon Musk’s kind of wealth. At least that’s what we think Hauwa meant by bastardly rich.
We were all Hauwas as we opened her tweet to see if someone smarter has dropped tips for becoming wealthy.
Nothing prepared is all for the solution proffered by @jadge_dev. And this guy wasn’t entirely out of line.
Take the unethical nature out of his proposal and we’re all on our way to immense wealth.
3. The Withdraw and Run Strategy.
You can genuinely ask a question on Twitter and still get roasted. You can have the best intentions and tweeps would still find a way to make you regret it. Or reconsider your motivation.
When Kalu made the tweet below, he was probably looking for great suggestions. Or he wanted to help someone with a trading account.
4. A Case Leg Functionalities
The conversation in this thread quickly became awkward. Huncho, a girl on onlyfans, got into a rift with Jerome. Somehow, the convo veered into what each one used their legs for.
Jerome thinks Huncho spreads her legs for a living. Huncho said, “Someone hold my beer.” She came back with a nasty one by taking a swipe at Jerome’s disability.
Everyone on that thread had to go look at Jerome’s profile to see if it was true. And it was. Jerome was stuck on his wheelchair. Alright, we’re not going to say more.
5. Better Late Than Never.
You can’t rely on Twitter for sympathy. But folks would never learn. If you want sympathy, speak to your therapist. Or your mom.
Queef learned this ultimate lesson when he shared his shock at being alive on his Twitter page.
Trust Twitter trolls. Representative @knockwonderK jumped up, hands in the air and screamed: you can make it, bro.
The internet exploded instantly. Is 3 weeks enough to make such a drastic move? Of course. Hopefully, Queef would pick on the humor in the roast, not the encouragement.
6. The Transactional Gen.
Gen is definitely in it for the benefits. Come to think of it, who isn’t? Everyone wants something from relationships these days.
Few are ready to put anything in to make it work. Wesley understood the assignment, ready to place his cards close to his chest.
Gen threw her question to the world asking about what her prospective date would bring to the proverbial table. She got her answer and it stumped her.
Wesley says, nothing beats a bright future. Hopefully, Gen is into bright futures.
7. Bedroom De Zoo.
We don’t know about you, but the decor of the bedroom in this tweet reeks of overkill. Give it some months and the occupant would cringe from visual exhaustion.
But that’s us. Charles in the replies didn’t think the image of the lion is bad. In fact, he tweets his opinion poetically enough. Which was what drew us to this tweet. It was a pun for the holidays.
‘A bed I can lie on.’
Looks like Charles has had this pun in his head for a long time. And when he was presented with the opportunity, it was time to lion it.
8. Nothing But The Truth.
In a world that has lost half of its honesty, we need that one person who’s unafraid to roast others with their truth. That man is @Lester_03 on Twitter.
@moad2712 tweeted his fervent belief that anyone staying indoors in the yuletide season is sick. Lester says, really? Are we going to do this?
Lester decided that one picture can tell a million stories so he posted a photo of him in a hospital bed, sick. A VAR check indicates that Lester just might be saying nothing but the truth.
9. Be Careful What You Wish.
On Twitter, you can be whoever you want. You can be Mr. No Academic Pressure. If you pay Elon Musk his $8, you get all the benefits Mr. Trump gets too. No exceptions. It’s why we love Elon.
It makes things such as getting laid easier too. For example, @badgylryry tweeted her desire to sleep with no academic pressure. Which is a mighty normal desire if you’re a college student.
@_s_o_u_L saunters into the comment section declaring that adannaya’s wish is his command. Twitter drags the spot with Tinder sometimes.
10. Arsenal For Sale?
No Arsenal’s not for sale. But there are men who love the football club so much they’d buy it.
If they could afford it. That’s what the roast reply in this tweet is about. @RuthFridah declared to her fellow women that it doesn’t take much to please men.
All they needed to do was ask. @Beyolisa thinks the tweet didn’t think things through.
Apparently the owner of the reply has a boyfriend who’s an Arsenal fan. And she must have heard conversations where these fans talk about the club as if they own it.
Her concerns are valid.
11. Thrift To The Rescue.
Talk about a problem with a good side. @The_BeatOven laments the drug epidemic. @Everdiva1 believes the drug problem is her own economic windfall.
Come to think of it, it’s a win-win for both parties, addicts and people in @Everdiva1’s shoes. She’s not saying don’t be an addict.
In fact, sell your cars if you want. Just sell it to me. The price matters to her, if not to the addict.
12. We’re Proud of Ozzy’s Growth.
This is a classic case of the ‘Internet never forgets.’ So it was a fine evening and Twitter citizens were going about their businesses, not bothering anyone. Ozzy raises her hand and says, “Y’all, I got something to say!”
She dropped her tweet and sat back to watch the tweets of appreciation pour in. A few people thought she was right. But not a certain guy who went by the name of Don P.
Don reminded Ozzy of her hypocrisy, pointing out that she once used her son’s dullness as content years ago. How did Ozzy feel about this biting reminder? We don’t know. But we felt the fangs.
13. This You?
Guys, the ‘this you’ comeback is the most feared comeback on the whole internet. ‘This you’ is the legitimate child of ‘the Internet never forgets.’
Humans are forgetful. Naomi in her tweet below was trying to make sense. And we have to agree she did when she asked why love was so transactional today.
@ThapeloBoyza removed his glasses and said, “Wait, what? Hell no.” He scoured Naomi’s twitter page, found incriminating evidence and plastered it all on a billboard.
“Naomi, this you?”
14. WBU?
Social media is like a mill press. If you let them, folks would pressure you until you fold. It appears that’s what @OloriOfOloris was trying to do to people on the timeline on that fateful day.
She mentioned that she was a user of the iPhone XR. Though no one asked.
It was an innocent question. And she got a subtle roast that said, “Shove it!” from another girl named Chi.
This is about the simplest yet savage roast that left its mark. The other girl ought to reevaluate her life’s priorities after this.
15. No New Year’s Kiss.
More attempts to pressure folks were attempted by Gumz. He was sure whoever was reading the tweet wouldn’t get a New Year kiss.
Statistically speaking, there’s a decent percentage of people on twitter who won’t get a kiss.
It’s why they’re on Twitter in the first place. Out of these statistics, a few are bold enough to own their lack of a kissing partner.
People like @foyinog. She basically said, well, no one ever died from the lack of a kiss on New Year’s day.
16. The Married Celibates.
From our research these two are actually an African couple. @the_Lawrenz in his tweet advocated for celibacy in 2024 and asked everyone to join him.
Out of nowhere comes his wife, @_theladymo who asked him, “As how?” Or, “What are you talking about?”
There were some laughs in the comment section. Most Africans would understand the meaning behind the lady’s question. It called for an explanation.
17. The Undertaker Comes To Town.
There’s no doubt the father in this tweet loved the undertaker. The undertaker was his childhood hero and he wanted his kids to experience some of that thrill with him.
But inviting the undertaker over was the best he could do.
If it was for the kids, according to him. @tinashevents just didn’t think so. It was in the smile on the kid’s face. The kids just looked too unenthusiastic for the undertaker to be there for them.
The reply to the tweet left a mark because people left the kids or undertaker and focused on the dad.
18. Help From Poverty.
It was a simple banter here about betting and its economic implications for those who engage in it.
@_lekan said his piece and we agree with him. The number of people who became rich off betting doesn’t justify the lifestyle.
@skinnybadtguy begged to defer. He asked the owner of the original tweet a simple question we consider a roast: will you?
It was a question that meant one thing: we bet because we have no other way.
19. Ask Potiphar’s Wife.
We are not sure if Mira’s tweet is based on her life’s experience but she seemed pretty much confident in her assertion.
Her tweet says men are easy. They’ll fall for any woman if the said woman wants them. We get it.
It’s the woman’s charm. Imoh in the reply disagrees. He refers Mira to the bible and says: Potiphar’s wife tried, but it didn’t work.
The roast was hilarious not only because it debunks the original tweet. But also because it is the only example we have of a man resisting a woman’s advances. And it was thousands of years ago.
20. Thick or Fat.
This one is a case of two girls telling each other like it is. We think Mama Mia was talking to men here. She believes thick must come with a fat belly. And sometimes this is the case.
Fineapple begged to defer. Her replies implied that many thick girls are basically just fat.
We’ve seen this to be true. We think Fineapple is right in some ways. Thick used to mean something different from what we see these days.
21. Where Men Go When They’re Broke.
The gender wars sometimes ebbs and people ask genuine questions. The tweep here wonders if men have ladies whose home they go to when they’re broke. The same way women do sometimes.
Somewhere in the comments a tweep drops a curious reply. It was a picture of a church, Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church.
The answer to the original tweet is in the name of the church. It was a hilarious reply. And also a grim one because of how true it is for many men.
22. A Nigerian World Cup.
This tweet below takes a jab at the West African country of Nigeria. If you are a fan of Afro beat music you’d be familiar with the country.
The country is going through economic rough times recently. This tweet is a jab at the corruption issues there, a problem that permeates almost every sector including health.
The original tweet asks what it would be like if Nigeria hosts the world cup. The reply is a hilarious one that suggests that it would be a total disaster.
Igbobi is a popular hospital in the business hub of Lagos. Dembele, an African footballer in the photo, is shocked at a fail surgery.
23. The Age of Responsibility.
This tweet is a roast for all humans born in 1994. The meme is a clear representation of how it feels like to turn 30 in 2024.
The implications scare those concerned. For one thing you should be out of your parents’ place.
You should have your own place, drive your own car, be married with your own kids. And a whole lot of other things society pressures adults to be and have.
24. Ecclesiastical Cash Out.
This roast was dropped around the Christmas and New year celebration. And the message is clear enough. It’s a meme that takes a jab at Christians who, you know, pay tithes or offerings in church.
@Pliam_ is kind of right in her interpretation of the times.
Most who haven’t been to church went during the yuletide season. Those who crossed over in church showed their appreciation by emptying their pockets.
Someone in the comment section asked who the pastors paid theirs to. Guess we’ll never know.
25. Non Premium Stupidity.
This tweet brought together two people who aren’t premium X users. And the clash was explosive.
Naymah reposted Masuhd’s tweet which alleged that people became less smart since Elon introduced premium X.
Naymah’s quote banged as you can see in the screenshot below. There are those who feel the same way as Masuhd. But we don’t know what information Naymah has on Masuhd.
26. The Wolf From Twilight.
The guy really looked like one of the characters from twilight. His spiky hair, deep set eyes and facial hair, everything reminds you of the werewolf movie.
The guy asked to be roasted, and roasted he was. Smallsy Bigs had something caustic to say about weight.
27. James Corden Doppelganger.
Okay, on a closer look this guy shares a resemblance with actor and comedian James Corden. Not much, but it’s there in the glinting eyes and four o’clock facial look.
Cane in the replies said this guy looks like Corden if he was a feminist. Did he mean if he was female? Because of the man boobs?
28. James Corden Photoshop?
A bad photoshop of James Corden? Pixel in the comments didn’t say. But we think that’s what Pixel meant. It’s hilarious that the guy in the comments thinks this way.
Not indicating whose photoshop is being referenced made the roast impactful.
29. Stray On Nicki Minaj
It’s the guy with the ‘fantastic tits’ again. And he’s still getting roasted. In the comments, a tweep who went by the name K has this to say: he has bigger tits than Nicki Minaj.
If you know Nicki Minaj you’d know this is definitely an exaggeration of the tit situation. That roast is damaging.
30. The Sedentary Guy.
This roast takes a jab at the guy’s lifestyle. The reply from Abuba suggests that this guy eats five packs of Cheetos everyday.
We agree. This is the only way anyone could have man boobs of this size and configuration.
There are grasses outside waiting to be touched by. There’s also pavements and sidewalks waiting to be stomped by anyone who wants to jog.
31. The Daughter I Never Wanted.
@officialroastme started the roast of this guy in the shot. This guy has the look of an emo daughter who’s on her way to a Gothic themed party. Is that make up on his face?
Well, Harris in the comments accuses the guy of hunting young boys who play Fortnite to offer them weed and beer. Hilarious.
32. Emo Colors
Someone called Mace shared his opinion in the comment about hair dyes and contact lenses. He wonders if they’re expensive.
And we can see the reason why. The dye didn’t seem to go round the hair. We don’t know much about contact lenses. One thing is for sure, the choice of dye color is on point.
33. Cat Moe Lester.
This is one of the hardest hitting roasts on this list. @officialroastme thinks this guy molest cats. We think the guy looks the part perfectly. If there’s ever a movie about a cat molester, this guy wouldn’t need an audition.
Smallsy Bigs took the roast to a higher level in the comments when he compared this guy to a pile of foreskins. Gross.
34. No Abortions For Nancy.
You’re familiar with Abuba Ocear by now. He’s in the comment section with another strike. This time he says the dude here looks like a girl.
Not just any girl but the one their parents should have aborted. Why? Abu didn’t elaborate but all we know at the time we found the tweet is Abu feels strongly about his conviction.
35. Hodor’s Office.
Somehow Smallsy Bigs believes the man in the picture has been behind that desk all his life. He asks how long he’s been there for.
You have to look at the picture to see where Smallsy Bigs is coming from with his question. Hodor looks too happy with his job. He shouldn’t be.
36. Diabetic James Bond.
Kira thinks Hodor looks like Sean Connery. There’s some resemblance, especially if you imagine a bald Hodor. Kira takes a jab at the man’s weight.
Hopefully, he’s not diabetic and is not on his way there. The smile on his face is some consolation.
37. Priscilla Deserves An Alcatel.
Prince July is savage. He held nothing back when he roasted Priscilla. The girl has just shared her opinion on the responsibility of a boyfriend.
She thinks a loved girl deserves a higher iPhone.
July isn’t having it. He takes a jab at the girl’s looks. He thinks her looks deserve a phone no one uses these days.
38. Aspiring Sugar Maama.
Someone called Hijjati says she’s not settling for less even if she turns 30. Valid. But Slimy in the comments didn’t think so.
Doing what Twitter folks do best, this guy roasted Hajjati by letting her know she’s on her way to the sugar mummy land.
39. Kylie Loves Travis’s Braids.
Since we never saw a post from Kylie Jenner ever condemning Travis Scott’s braids, we believe she adores them.
Lydia in the comment section doesn’t think so. She wonders if the picture we have here is what Kylie sees during intimate moments.
40. The Standards are Double.
These two Africans were caught in a roasting situation. Mod was telling the world about the time her boyfriend was broke.
And how today they both own stuff. In the comment section someone pointed out how the boyfriend was broke alone, but now shares everything with the girl.
Final Thoughts.
Twitter is crawling with folks who roast others for a living. They make our time on the social media platform a memorable one filled with laughter. The roasts on this list all left their marks.
You are free to follow those accounts for more roasts like this.