Have you ever been called witless by someone trying to bring you down or downplay your effort in curating jokes?
Maybe the person was condescending about it or it was a playful tease. Either way, I understand being called witless can sting like a bee bite.
Regardless of the context, being called witless can be hurtful and disrespectful, that is why it is important to be confident and assertive with your response.
For this purpose, I have compiled a list of 20 best responses you can use when someone calls you witless.
They range from witty comebacks to clever and hilarious ones that will cripple them and have everyone who listens roll on the floor laughing or scratch their heads in confusion.
Below are the 20 Best Comebacks When Someone Calls You Witless
- Sorry, I know your brain can’t comprehend my brilliance.
- If I’m witless, then you must be the president of the Witless Society.
- Calling me witless? That’s a bold strategy for someone who can’t even spell ‘intelligence.
- Witless? I prefer to think of it as saving my best comebacks for those who truly deserve them.
- If you’re going to call me witless, at least come up with a more original insult. I’ve heard that one a million times.
- Being called witless by you is like being called colorless in a black-and-white movie.
- Oh, I see you’ve mistaken my silence for witlessness. Don’t worry, I’ll let my words do the talking.
- If I’m witless, then I guess I’ll just have to rely on my charm, charisma, and devastatingly good looks instead.
- Witless? That’s just your jealousy speaking because you can’t keep up with my quick thinking.
- Calling me witless won’t make your own lack of humor any less noticeable, my friend.
- Witless? That’s funny coming from someone who couldn’t come up with a clever insult if their life depended on it.
- You think I’m witless? Well, I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong with every word that comes out of my perfectly eloquent mouth.
- Insulting my wit? Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my brilliant ideas swirling around in my head.
- Witless? That’s just your way of admitting that my intelligence is on a level you can’t comprehend.
- If I’m witless, then I must be the Einstein of sarcasm because I always come up with the cleverest retorts.
- Calling me witless is like calling a diamond dull. It just shows how little you understand true brilliance.
- Witless? That’s just a word jealous people use to describe those who outsmart them.
- Are you insulting my wit? Well, I guess I can’t expect everyone to appreciate a fine vintage of humor.
- Witless? Sorry, I was too busy using my brainpower for something more meaningful than responding to your feeble insult.
- If I’m witless, then I must be the life of the party because everyone loves a good laugh at your expense.
1. Sorry, I know your brain can’t comprehend my brilliance.
Whether it is a colleague or a friend, you will agree with me that being called witless though might sound casual is a cutting remark that wouldn’t sit well with you or anyone.
Moreover, you wouldn’t want to be labeled as such afterwards therefore there is nothing as redeeming as giving a snarky comeback to would hit the detractor.
By saying they see you as witless because their brain can’t comprehend your brilliance is a great way to rise above the petty insult thrown at you.
This response is funny and witty and capable of leaving your critic speechless.
- I think you need a dictionary because you clearly don’t know what ‘witless’ means. It means ‘lacking wit or intelligence’, and you seem to have that in excess.
2. If I’m witless, then you must be the president of the Witless Society.
Do you know that the most classic comeback is to agree with the claim and then go ahead to use it against them? See as in a simple term- it-takes-one-to-know-strategy.
By using this above phrase, you are redirecting their insult back at them but in a humorous way. This implies that they are actually the ones witless and also presents you as the clever person there.
- If I were you, you’d stop calling me witless. It makes you look like a witless wonder.
3. Calling me witless? That’s a bold strategy for someone who can’t even spell ‘intelligence.
Here is another reply you can give to your critic who calls you witless. This quip is capable of making them numb for so many hours and might even render them powerless for their own comeback.
This roast bestows on you the image of a quick-witted individual, and also one who can’t be dragged down by a mere insult.
Do you need a snarky response that will hit the right spot? Then consider using the statement above.
- I may be witless, but at least I’m not as witless as you – I can come up with a decent comeback.
4. Witless? I prefer to think of it as saving my best comebacks for those who truly deserve them.
This is a clever way to tell the detractors that they even undeserving of your witty jokes and intelligent utterances.
With this, you are showing that you are not going to let their insult get in your way and that you are way too clever than what they have up their sleeve.
Stating that you don’t even consider them important the way they think they are will burn them and might prevent them from denigrating others.
- You think I’m witless? I’ll let you know my wit is just on vacation. It’ll be back when you’re funnier.
5. If you’re going to call me witless, at least come up with a more original insult. I’ve heard that one a million times.
Imagine someone who calls you witless and the only word they keep dispersing is witless.
This comeback highlights the critics’ deficit in vocabulary and their stupidity surfacing from the incessant use of just a word to hurl insults at you.
Using this comeback on them automatically reveals the witless one which is them, and describes you as the clever one with this response.
- You’re so witless, you can’t even come up with a new insult.
6. Being called witless by you is like being called colorless by a black-and-white movie.
Sometimes, the best way to respond to an insult is to retort using a figurative expression to throw them into a mental conundrum.
By using this statement you are asserting with confidence that they aren’t up to match with your for a roast banter, while still pointing out the fact that they appear more as the witless one than you.
This response is a type of comeback that you can use to bully them into silence or to render them speechless momentarily.
- Your insult is devoid of creativity. Calling me witless is calling an orange colorless- so unoriginal and dull.
7. Oh, I see you’ve mistaken my silence for witlessness. Don’t worry, I’ll let my words do the talking.
At times the best response to give a dumb person is silence, however, if the silence is mistaken by them as you being fearful or not up to par, then an astute response to show them their insult did not affect you is needed.
This response defends you in every way and empowers you in the face of the critic.
- Thinking my silence means I’m at a loss for words shows the level of your stupidity. I shouldn’t waste my eloquence on what you won’t be able to comprehend.
8. If I’m witless, then I guess I’ll just have to rely on my charm, charisma, and devastatingly good looks instead.
This is a sharp witty move in someone who calls you witless, and unfortunately ugly-looking. Ah! So sharp that I can feel the cut here if you use this response on them.
And in case you want to know what defeat looks like, then use the above roast and watch their face spell defeat in its full glory.
- At least I’m witless, it still doesn’t match up with your raccoon face.
9. Witless? That’s just your jealousy speaking because you can’t keep up with my quick thinking.
Another effective comeback to employ is to make use of a make-believe strategy which can be done by playing on their intelligence.
Imposing on them that the reason they call you witless is because they can’t keep up with your quick thinking is a strategic comeback that will devalue your detractor.
- The only reason you classify me as a witless being is because you can’t keep up with my intelligence.
10. Calling me witless won’t make your own lack of humor any less noticeable, my friend.
This humor is clever and effective as it heightens their shortcomings while suggesting that they are the main problem.
Also, you have successfully shifted the target of mockery back to them and used their word against them.
- Insulting me doesn’t make you any more clever. It just highlights your own shortcomings.
11. Witless? That’s funny coming from someone who couldn’t come up with a clever insult if their life depended on it.
When someone calls you witless, sometimes it’s not bad if all you give back is a quick retort that is laced with laid-back levity and hot air to prove to the critic that you are mean enough for their insult.
And, most importantly, you are not going to let their insult get to you.
- I may be witless, but at least I’m not a complete idiot like you. At least I can spell ‘witless’ correctly!”
12. You think I’m witless? Well, I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong with every word that comes out of my perfectly eloquent mouth.
There is nothing childish about proving to your critic who really is the witless being.
This places you as the more daring and confident one and could be challenging and intimidating to the person who calls you witless.
In the end, they have succeeded in ridiculing themselves in front of everyone because chances are they might scurry away in fear of losing. Which is all you need to prove to everyone who the witless person is.
13. Insulting my wit? Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my brilliant ideas swirling around in my head.
This is another effective and witty response to dismiss the insult and creatively put them in their place in a cool and collected manner of approach.
- Too busy in a witty soliloquy to even engage with your silly talks.
14. Witless? That’s just your way of admitting that my intelligence is on a level you can’t comprehend.
This response is a sarcastic way of telling your detractor that their brain needs an upgrade.
By using this reply, you are not only criticizing their low level of IQ but also coming directly at them that they are the witless ones here.
- “You are simply admitting that my intelligence is higher than your comprehension when you call me witless.”
15. If I’m witless, then I must be the Einstein of sarcasm because I always come up with the cleverest retorts.
By using this phrase, you are not only showing confidence but also elevating yourself, while creatively using a comparison of yourself to a higher personality to prove to them how diminishing it is to be in the same category as them.
16. Calling me witless is like calling a diamond dull. It just shows how little you understand true brilliance.
The above response is both an effective and witty way to dismiss the negativity of the critic and to show them that their insult doesn’t suit the description of you.
- Calling me witless is just your way of admitting I’m smarter than you.
17. Witless? That’s just a word jealous people use to describe those who outsmart them.
This clever comeback is a retort that turns the table on the critic, and further emphasizes your maturity and honorable standards, which are lacking in them.
- Those who call others witless are merely insecure about their intelligence. They can’t handle being outsmarted, so they lash out.
18. Are you insulting my wit? Well, I guess I can’t expect everyone to appreciate a fine vintage of humor.
Saying they have no sense to appreciate fine humor is a witty way to take the sting out of their insult and poke them with that in return. This is capable of making them look foolish for trying to bring you down.
- It’s clear you have no appreciation for the finer things in life.
19. Witless? Sorry, I was too busy using my brainpower for something more meaningful than responding to your feeble insult.
Even better, feigning to be unconcerned about their insult hits more. They were expecting a reaction from you but realized that their words weren’t even paid attention to. This will make them feel more useless than ever.
- Your insult was so weak, that I barely noticed it. I was too busy engaging my brain with something far more meaningful – picking my nose
20. If I’m witless, then I must be the life of the party because everyone loves a good laugh at your expense.
This response is laced with humor and wits to turn the table on them, and humorously bring their stupidity to the limelight which is in every way ridiculing than being called witless.
- If I’m witless, that just means I’m providing free entertainment for everyone who finds you insufferable.