We all have that special someone whom we secretly admire and find every little thing they do adorable and extra special, we call them “Crushes” and as humans they are liable to make mistakes sometimes which could be a good reason to roast them a little.
I have provided a list of 20 best ways to roast your crush like a pro. These witty expressions make use of sarcasm and puns to deliver the best roast line that would get your crush fearfully impressed.
If you’re interested in teasing your crush with clever one-liners, then this article is exactly what you need to get started.
Now let’s get crushing!
List of 20 Best Ways to Roast Your Crush
- You’re lucky I like crazy people otherwise no one would be attracted to you.
- Everything about you reminds me of how foolish I am to have a crush on you.
- You’re my lovely crush that I am not afraid to crush.
- Oh, you think you’re funny? Well, lucky for you, I can lie to you that you’re funny.
- I certainly have a crush on you the moment I hit my head on a wall.
- Are you trying to make me blush? Because it’s definitely not working.
- I must say, you’re quite the smooth talker. But can you handle my smooth comebacks?
- You’re like a magnet for my attention, I better find a resistant tool soon.
- I have a crush on your pictures more than your actual face.
- Perhaps if my crush cut down on the Snapchat filters, she wouldn’t be my crush anymore.
- You’re just someone I have a crush on, you’re not boyfriend worthy.
- You’re making it hard to focus on anything but your perfect plastic face.
- Flirting is a beautiful way to express love until you do it.
- I see you’ve got jokes. Careful, you might turn out to be a laughing stock.
- You’re like a puzzle I can’t solve, and it’s getting irritating.
- You’re like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, I need some rain.
- Wow, I’ve got you blushing harder than ever or is it just the excessive use of blush on your face.
- It’s cute how you think you can roast anyone, but you know I am still the boss sweetie.
- You’re so good at teasing me, I almost forget that you’re not sensible.
- I’ve got to hand it to you, you’re as smooth as butter.I hope you don’t melt one day.
You’re lucky I like crazy people otherwise no one would be attracted to you.
This is a smart roast to your crush because it suggests that they have some quirks or eccentricities, implying that you find those traits appealing.
However, it also subtly suggests that without those quirks, they might not be as attractive to others, hinting at a dependence on those unique qualities for their charm.
- You are so crazy and that’s why unlike many others, I am attracted to you.
- People might think you’re nuts but thank God I find that attractive.
Everything about you reminds me of how foolish I am to have a crush on you.
It’s true that love can make a person dumb which could be turned into a smart roast for your crush.
A roast like this implies that the person’s behavior or characteristics constantly remind you of your own foolishness for having a crush on them, suggesting that they may not live up to your expectations.
It’s a subtle way of expressing disappointment or disillusionment in the crush.
- I must be foolish to have a crush on you.
- It is only a dumb person like me that could have a crush on you.
You’re my lovely crush that I am not afraid to crush.
This roast means that while the person is your crush, you’re not hesitant to acknowledge their flaws or shortcomings, even to the point of “crushing” them metaphorically.
It is that you’re not blind to their imperfections and are willing to confront them, which might not be the most flattering sentiment to express to your crush.
- Even if I have a crush on you, I am still not afraid to crush you.
- Guess what I will do to my crush one day? Crush him.
Oh, you think you’re funny? Well, lucky for you, I can lie to you that you’re funny.
An expression as smart as this subtly suggests that the person’s attempts at humor are not genuine or successful, but rather than outright saying they’re not funny, you’re sarcastically implying that you can pretend they are for their benefit.
It’s a playful way of teasing their sense of humor while also suggesting that it may not be as amusing as they think.
- You’re not funny but as your crush I can lie to you that you are.
- I will lie to make you feel better, you’re very funny.
I certainly have a crush on you the moment I hit my head on a wall.
A hot roast has been presented before your eyes yet again!
It suggests that the crush is so unappealing or unimpressive that the only conceivable way you could develop feelings for them is if you were momentarily incapacitated or disoriented, such as hitting your head on a wall.
It’s a humorous way of saying that your crush is not someone you would normally be attracted to under normal circumstances.
- If I hadn’t hit my head on a brick wall, I would have a crush on you.
- It took a very huge stone to hit me in the head to start liking you.
Are you trying to make me blush? Because it’s definitely not working.
What a brilliant way to diss your very own crush. It implies that the attempts by your crush to flatter or charm you are ineffective and not eliciting the desired response, in this case, making you blush.
It’s a playful way of suggesting that their efforts to impress you are falling flat or even having the opposite effect.
- You must be trying to make me upset, not blush.
- If you think that’s going to make me blush then think again.
I must say, you’re quite the smooth talker. But can you handle my smooth comebacks?
This roast subtly challenges your crush’s ability to engage in witty banter or handle your clever comebacks.
It implies that while they may think of themselves as a smooth talker, they might not be prepared for the level of wit and humor you bring to the conversation.
It’s a playful way of asserting your own confidence in your ability to match or even surpass their smoothness.
- You’re quite smooth but not smoother than me.
- Your comments are quite smooth but I hope you can take the smoothest comebacks?
You’re like a magnet for my attention, I better find a resistant tool soon.
Fire can be great and fire can be dangerous and this expression makes that point valid.
It means that your crush’s presence or behavior is drawing your attention in a way that you find undesirable or overwhelming, likening them to a magnet.
The use of the term “resistant tool” suggests that you’re actively seeking ways to resist their pull or avoid giving them too much of your attention.
- I better get a resistant tool, you’re drawing my attention a lot.
- I can’t be drawn to you anymore, I need a resistant tool.
I have a crush on your pictures more than your actual face.
This roast suggests that while your crush’s pictures may be appealing, you find their actual face less attractive or appealing in comparison.
It’s a humorous way of implying that their appearance may not live up to the expectations set by their photos, which might not be the most flattering sentiment to express to your crush.
- Your pictures are what I have a crush on, not you.
- Your pictures should be what I like and not your actual face.
Perhaps if my crush cut down on the Snapchat filters, she wouldn’t be my crush anymore.
What a brilliant way to say that somebody is overly reliant on filters to enhance how they look which could mean that they are not actually as good looking as they think.
The person not being your crush anymore if they cut down on the use of Snapchat filters would mean that they have a plastic life.
- My crush is the queen of Snapchat filters, that’s why she’s pretty.
- I wouldn’t have a crush on her if she wasn’t always using Snapchat filters.
You’re just someone I have a crush on, you’re not boyfriend worthy.
This statement can be interpreted as a direct jab to your crush’s suitability as a romantic partner.
By saying they’re “not boyfriend worthy,” you’re essentially implying that they lack the qualities that would make them a desirable partner. It’s a harsh criticism that can potentially hurt their feelings.
- You’re not boyfriend worthy that’s why you will forever be just a crush.
- You’re not someone I can date but you can be my crush.
You’re making it hard to focus on anything but your perfect plastic face.
This remark could be perceived as a backhanded compliment disguised as a roast. By referring to their “perfect plastic face,” you’re indirectly suggesting that their appearance seems artificial or overly enhanced, possibly due to the use of makeup or filters.
Overall, it’s a comment that walks the line between a roast and compliment, potentially causing confusion or hurt feelings.
- Your perfect plastic face is all I keep looking at.
- Your face is so plastic, it’s literally perfect.
Flirting is a beautiful way to express love until you do it.
This is a playful way of suggesting that a person is horrible at flirting and should probably put an end to trying it at all.
It’s a ridiculous and funny way of saying that flirting, which is supposed to be cute and edgy, is suddenly bad because an individual, your target, is murdering the act of flirting.
- I like a man that can flirt, you on the other hand flirt like you’re trying to murder it.
- Why do you always flirt like someone who is angry at romance?
I see you’ve got jokes. Careful, you might turn out to be a laughing stock.
A comment like this serves as a light-hearted jab at your crush’s sense of humor, implying that their jokes or attempts at humor might not be as amusing as they think.
By warning them that they could become a “laughing stock,” you’re subtly suggesting that their jokes might fall flat or backfire, potentially embarrassing them in front of others.
- I think you should probably not crack jokes anymore, I wouldn’t lie to my crush.
- Your jokes might end up making you a laughing stock.
You’re like a puzzle I can’t solve, and it’s getting irritating.
Perhaps you have a crush that seems to give you mixed signals, this would be a good way to roast him or her.
Comparing them to a puzzle you can’t solve, you’re essentially saying that they’re difficult to understand, which can be frustrating.
While it may not be intentionally hurtful, it could still sting if your crush takes it personally.
- It’s getting irritating, you are such a puzzle.
- I didn’t know I had a crush on a walnut, you’re hard to crack.
You’re like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, I need some rain.
If you’re aiming to compliment your crush and a little touch of diss around it, then this would be a great expression.
‘I need some rain’ is a big blow to the stomach because you’re saying that whatever they are offering currently is not satisfying or even needed, which is a stinger.
- I need some rain, I am tired of the burning rays you are.
- I need sunscreen, your brightness is excessive.
Wow, I’ve got you blushing harder than ever or is it just the excessive use of blush on your face.
This comment is a playful way of teasing your crush about their flushed cheeks, implying that they’re blushing either because of your words or because they’re wearing too much blush.
Overall, it’s meant to be taken as good-natured teasing rather than a serious criticism.
- Your excessive use of blush makes me think you’re blushing.
- You think that blushing is just makeup but there’s a natural type.
It’s cute how you think you can roast anyone, but you know I am still the boss sweetie.
If you’re trying to tease your crush a little bit then this is a suitable roast to use. It’s a funny way of reminding them how skillful you are with roasting.
Calling them ‘Sweetie’ is a playful way of ridiculing them a little, which is a smart move.
- I am still your boss in roasting, my lovely crush.
- I have a crush on you but I still am the boss of roasting you.
You’re so good at teasing me, I almost forget that you’re not sensible.
Wow! This is brutality at its finest! This is an expression that sarcastically roasts someone by saying that they are not actually sensible in any way.
What makes this expression even more clever is the compliment at the beginning which is flipped to a burning roast at the end.
- You’re so good at teasing me, at least you’re good at something.
- I have a crush on you because you are good at teasing me, or are you?
I’ve got to hand it to you, you’re as smooth as butter.I hope you don’t melt one day.
It’s true that butter is smooth which is a complimentary attribute to compare to a person.
On the other hand, butter also gets melted easily when faced with heat which could mean, when compared to a person, that the person is feeble and weak when it comes to facing challenges in life.
- Just like butter, you melt away easily.
- You and butter make a good duo, you both melt easily.