A drunk is never fun to be around. From speaking uncontrollably, and barely walking on their own to turning violent, these people are full of different misadventures.
If you’ve ever had to deal with one, you’ll agree with me how frustrating it can be. And if you constantly have to deal with them, then you might just need to call them out for their habit.
In this article, we’ll be exploring a list of smart things to say to insult a drunk.
Whether they’re your colleagues, family, or friends, these one-liners will help you deal with them. And who knows? You might just be helping them have a change of heart.
20 Clever Insults for a Drunk
There are lots of things you can say to an alcoholic to quickly get them sober.
Some clever lines include: “You’re the type to quit your job for drinking,” “Now, I know why you never make sense. A drunk can’t,” and “How do you feel after every bottle? More stupid, right?”
Below are 20 clever punchlines for a drunk:
- You’re the type to quit your job for drinking
- I’m quite impressed with you. At least, you drink on only two occasions- when it’s your birthday and when it’s not
- You should be awarded the best alcoholic in the world. But, you’ll be too drunk to receive the award
- You’ve wasted years of your life being drunk, and you’re about to waste more
- Now, I know why you never make sense. A drunk can’t
- You should be in jail for abusing alcohol
- Your brain must be filled with liquid, alcoholic liquid
- I’m not against getting drunk, but you never try speaking again through your messed-up head
- You’re just a kid that’ll never grow
- You’re beyond saving
- No wonder your breath always stinks
- You’re not only a drunk, you’re a dumb drunk
- If only you were never born, we wouldn’t have to deal with so many crazy people
- How do you feel after every bottle? More stupid, right?
- Everyone has a right to be stupid, including you
- I think you were drunk from birth, that’s why your parents disowned you and you ended up spending all your day at the bar
- When your mates were being called to the bar, you were also called to the bar, but the wrong one
- Why have you chosen to destroy your life?
- Your liver would be more grateful to you if you just sold it and made some cash
- You keep wasting your life because it’s already useless
You’re the Type to Quit Your Job for Drinking
“You’re the type to quit your job for drinking” is one of the things to say to insult a drunk.
This statement makes fun of them, emphasizing how bad their situation is. First, no one would want to quit their job except for a good cause.
However, quitting a job because it doesn’t let you drink as you want is a crazy thing to do. So, this one-liner is an exaggeration that describes how much they like drinking.
- You’re the type to quit your job for drinking. Be careful, it might get to that
- With the way you’re going, I won’t be surprised if you quit your job to concentrate on your drinking career
I’m Quite Impressed with You. At Least, You Drink on Only Two Occasions- When It’s Your Birthday and When It’s Not
Praising a drunk for drinking on just two occasions, which is when it’s their birthday and when it’s not is a crazy comment you can use to insult them.
This is a sarcastic remark that sounds like a compliment. However, it’s a smart way to insult them for being a chronic alcoholic, calling them out for drinking every day.
You Should Be Awarded the Best Alcoholic in the World. But, You’ll Be Too Drunk to Receive the Award
“You should be awarded the best alcoholic in the world. But, you’ll be too drunk to receive the award” is another thing to say to make fun of a drunk.
This is another crazy remark that makes fun of their chronic situation. It ridicules them by pointing out that they’re always drunk.
Saying that they would be too drunk to get an award that they deserve is a hilarious way to insult them.
You’ve Wasted Years of Your Life Being a Drunk, and You’re About to Waste More
“You’ve wasted years of your life being drunk, and you’re about to waste more” is another clever thing to say to ridicule an alcoholic.
This statement will work for someone who’s a chronic alcoholic. It insults them for being a drunk for a long time and having no intention to stop.
Adding that they’re about to waste more of their years emphasizes how bad their situation is. Also, it can serve as a warning for them.
Now, I Know Why You Never Make Sense. A Drunk Can’t
Another sharp insult you can use on a drunk is, “Now, I know why you never make sense. A drunk can’t.”
This is a classic punchline that’ll take them aback. It’ll work well when you see them in their drunken state. Not only does it make fun of their present situation, but it also insults them by implying that they’ve never made any sense.
Also, adding that a drunk can never make sense will surely sting, as it implies that they’ll never make sense.
You Should Be in Jail for Abusing Alcohol
“You should be in jail for abusing alcohol” is another smart way to insult a drunk.
This comment will work for a chronic alcoholic, who’s addicted to drinking. It ridicules them by pointing out how bad their situation is.
Suggesting that they’re now abusing alcohol with the way they consume it emphasizes that they’re beyond help. In addition, adding that they should be in jail further ridicules them.
- You should be in jail for abusing alcohol. It has gotten too much
- You should be kept behind bars before you raid every bar
Your Brain Must Be Filled with Liquid, Alcoholic Liquid
“Your brain must be filled with liquid, alcoholic liquid” is another iconic one-liner you can use to make fun of a drunk.
Using this statement is another clever way to point out how bad their situation is.
Also, saying that their brain is filled with alcohol doesn’t only insult them for being drunk, it also ridicules them for implying that their condition has blocked their sense of reasoning.
- Your brain must be filled with alcoholic liquid, that’s why you can’t think properly
- Your brain must be filled with alcoholic liquid. You’re beyond help
I’m Not Against Getting Drunk, But You Should Never Try Speaking Again Through Your Messed Up Head
“I’m not against getting drunk, but you never try speaking again through your messed up head” is another comment to both insult and warn an alcoholic.
First, this statement expresses your irritation with their situation. It lets them know that if they choose to be drunk, it’s their problem. However, it warns them that they should never try talking to you whenever they’re drunk.
Also, it’s a perfect way to let them know that they’re always talking nonsense, especially when they’re boozed.
You’re Just a Kid That Will Never Grow
Another interesting way to make fun of a drunk is by referring to them as a kid.
This is a savage comment that infers that an adult should be able to avoid getting drunk. Also, adding that they’d never grown makes it more hilarious.
You’re Beyond Saving
“You’re beyond saving” is another statement to make to someone who’s an alcoholic.
This is a harsh statement that describes how bad their situation is. It tells them that they’re at a chronic level that’s beyond saving. Also, it serves as a warning to them.
- You’re beyond saving. I pray your second hell is not as bad as this
- You’re beyond saving. You should prepare to die in pain
No Wonder Your Breath Always Stinks
“No wonder your breath always stinks” is another smart thing to say to make fun of a drunk.
This statement doesn’t only insult their present situation, it also ridicules them for always having a bad breath.
It’ll work well when you see them drunk or when you notice their breath reeks of alcohol. Also, it’s a savage comment that’ll certainly sting.
- No wonder your breath always stinks. You should always warn us before you speak
- No wonder your breath always stinks. It’s this bad
You’re Not Only a Drunk, You’re a Dumb Drunk
“You’re not only a drunk, you’re a dumb drunk” is another comment you can use to insult a drunk.
This statement is a two-in-one punchline that insults them for being drunk and a dumb person. It tells them directly that they lack a sense of reasoning.
- You’re not only a drunk, you’re a dumb drunk. I can’t believe I’m just realizing it
- You’re not only a drunk, you’re a dumb one. Your situation is very bad
If Only You Were Never Born, We Wouldn’t Have to Deal with so Many Crazy People
“If only you were never born, we wouldn’t have to deal with so many crazy people” is another savage remark you can use to ridicule a drunk.
This statement expresses your annoyance at their existence. Also, it insults them for being an alcoholic while referring to them as crazy.
How Do You Feel After Every Bottle? More Stupid, Right?
“How do you feel after every bottle? More stupid, right?” is one of the questions to ask a drunk to ridicule them.
It’ll work well after they’ve drunk several bottles. Also, it’s a crazy statement that directly calls them stupid.
Everyone Has a Right to Be Stupid, Including You
“Everyone has a right to be stupid, including you” is another smart way to insult someone.
It’ll work for an alcoholic, especially when they try to justify their actions. Using these words on them, directly calls them stupid.
I Think You Were Drunk from Birth, That’s Why Your Parents Disowned You, and You Ended Up Spending All Your Day at the Bar
Another way to make fun of a drunk is to call them out for spending all their time in the bar.
It’ll work for someone who spends most of their days drinking at a bar. Implying that they were disowned by their parents is a stinging remark that’ll get to them.
Moreover, suggesting that they were drunk from birth makes it more hilarious.
When Your Mates Were Being Called to Bar, You Were Also Called to the Bar, But the Wrong One
Another interesting line that’ll work to insult a drunk is by comparing them to their mates.
This statement ridicules their situation by stating that while they’re busy getting drunk, their friends are getting successful. Also, it’s a play on words that makes fun of them for always drinking. It’ll surely sting.
Why Have You Chosen to Destroy Your Life?
“Why have you chosen to destroy your life?” is another thing to ask a drunk.
This is a rude question that draws light on how bad their situation is. It makes fun of them by pointing out the consequences of their actions.
Your Liver Would Be More Grateful to You if You Just Sold It and Make Some Cash
Another smart way to ridicule a drunk is with this statement that draws light on how they are damaging their liver.
The liver is one of the organs that is damaged by excessive intake of alcohol. So, this punchline insults them by advising that rather than destroy their liver, they should sell it off and make some cash.
Also, implying that their liver would be more grateful if they do that makes it hilarious.
You Keep Wasting Your Life Because It’s Already Useless
“You keep wasting your life because it’s already useless” is another statement you can use to insult a drunk.
This one-liner ridicules them by calling them useless. Then it further insults them by implying that they’re wasting their life. It’s a direct statement that confronts their lifestyle.
Final Words
A drunk is an inconvenience to people around them. Apart from being a public nuisance, if they’re within your space, you constantly have to deal with their attitudes.
So, if you know any alcoholic, this article is for you. You can use these punchlines to call them out for their lifestyle.