For some, fishing is a way to relax and connect with nature. And for others, it’s a livelihood, providing food and income for themselves and their families.
This article consists of sarcasm, puns, and insults for a fisherman. If you have a friend with this occupation, if you want him to sleep that day without eating, continue reading.
Here Are 20 Best Insults for a Fisherman
- You are the only person whose hobby can be perceived from your odor
- Our college came last in the swimming trials, the head coach forgot to tell you it was not a fishing competition
- The only reason we only go to Dubai for vacation is because there are fewer fish and rivers for you to explore
- We don’t know which is more injured, his sense of smell or judgment he calls the aroma of pizza, fish.
- Your girlfriend left you because after you bath you still stink of fish
- We stopped inviting you to the book club because you can not stop blabbing about the big one that got away
- They said you got admission to Harvard Law School, I was like does Havard offer fishery
- They asked me why I hadn’t allowed you to give a lecture, I told them I was waiting till the topic was fish-related
- When we can’t find you I just sigh like “a self-made Santiago is on his adventure to catch his giant marlin again
- You named my godson Merlin, when you gave birth to his sister I was like “The poor baby is going to be named Tuna
- If you were Noah in the Bible, you would have jeopardized God’s plan trying to catch a fish or two
- I wonder why you, a fishing buddy, are worried about the recent flu. You never catch anything
- Someone will soon take your wife, you won’t survive the year on that “net income”
- We won’t let you drink in the rainy season because you always try to fish in our flooded drainage system
- I told you before, sometimes try to sell all your fish because your son can’t stop stealing my daughter’s meat during the launch in school
- When I asked your daughter about the course she wants to study, she said “As long as they don’t mention or do anything about fish in the course I will study it”.
- I said the reason you are bad at self-defense is that you only throw “hooks”
- My sister said she will go on a date with you as long as there is no river, and there is no fish
- I heard you are part of those who are going on the evangelism trip, I bet the first thing you read in the Bible is “fishers of men”
- Your wife said she was scared to show you the 50,000 dollar scholarship she got in Saudi Arabia, I told her I was scared too
1. You are the only person whose hobby can be perceived from your odor.
The odor of fishermen can be attributed to a few different factors. Many fishermen spend a lot of time outdoors and in the water, which can lead to a distinct smell.
Their fishing gear and tackle can also give off a particular scent, especially if it has been used in saltwater, then the type of bait used gives away the fact that they are fishermen.
Insult them this way:
- I could close my eyes and still pick you out of one thousand people with your odor.
2. Our college came last in the swimming trials, the head coach forgot to tell you it was not a fishing competition.
Most fishermen can swim, because it comes with the job, and one way or the other they would have to practice swimming.
However, a fisherman who can swim is different from a professional swimmer, and they cannot compete efficiently in a swimming competition.
Deliver your insult like a pro like this:
- When you volunteered to swim for the faculty, I advised the HOD to tell you that humans can be quite difficult to catch in a swimming race and we will not be represented.
3. The only reason we only go to Dubai for vacation is because there are fewer fish and rivers for you to explore.
Dubai and Saudi Arabia have strict fishing regulations that prevent people from just going to remote rivers and starting fishing.
This is because these countries are located near a desert and have busy ports, therefore it would be hard for a fisherman to work there.
Wear a little smile when delivering this insult:
- I brought you here so that if you get arrested twice or thrice, you will learn how to not be a Fishman for some interval.
4. We don’t know which is more injured, his sense of smell or judgment he calls the aroma of pizza, fish.
This insult is an exaggerated depiction of a fisherman’s frequency of consuming or handling fish, and their tendency to prefer fishy products or seafood because they are used to it. If you have an opponent in this category, this is the perfect insult for them.
Deliver your insult this way:
- I borrowed a megaphone to announce at the dinner table that there is no fish or fishy food substance on the table before you start arguing.
5. Your girlfriend left you because after your bath you still stink of fish.
The classic “fishy” smell of fishermen! This is caused by a compound present in a fish, which is found in high concentrations in fish.
When fishermen handle fish which may rub on their hands and clothes, if they finish bathing and still wear the same clothes, it can still be perceived.
- Your wife said the only thing that smells more than a dead fish is a fisherman who has been handling fish all day.
6. We stopped inviting you to the book club because you can not stop blabbing about the big one that got away.
This is likely to happen to a passionate fisherman who loves his job, and one of the biggest goals of a fisherman is to catch the biggest of the fish they fish for.
It earns them more money and makes them proud of their skills, effort, and profession.
This is the perfect insult for a person in this category.
Wear a little smile when delivering this insult:
- The reason I told you to stop crashing in my house is because you can’t stop chasing the big one that got away In your dreams.
7. They said you got admission to Harvard Law School, I was like does Havard offer fishery.
This is also a targeted insult for a person who is proud of their profession and if they were given the chance to go to school to get a master’s or PhD, they would mostly prefer to do it in fishery.
Insult them this way:
- I heard your wife sold your fishing net in retaliation for using her savings to purchase a fishery online course.
8. They asked me why I hadn’t allowed you to give a lecture, I told them I was waiting till the topic was fish-related.
A fisherman who has a basic education, and can express himself in English would be able to give a lecture on fish-related topics and if he does not know what to say initially, it will be easy for such a fisherman to comprehend and digest information that he will use to prepare for the lecture.
Wear a smile when delivering this insult:
- I prayed to God that you wouldn’t go fishing before coming to give the lecture that day.
- I love to watch movies that make me sleep quickly during your lectures.
9. When we can’t find you I just sigh like “a self-made Santiago is on his adventure to catch his giant marlin again.
Fishermen go on fishing adventures hoping that they get lucky, adventurous ones go far on particular rivers hoping they come home with a boat full of fish.
This insult likens the effort of the recipient to that of an old man in a famous fictional book who caught the fish he wanted. But his own story is real and his chances are slimmer than the old man’s own.
Try not to laugh when delivering this insult:
- Santiago in Earnest Hemingway’s book went through great travails to kill his marlin. Whenever your young self fishes for more than one hour, you get admitted to the hospital.
10. You named my godson Merlin, when you gave birth to his sister I was like “The poor baby is going to be named Tuna.
This is also a funny assertion of how a fisherman can use his discretion or be motivated by his line of work to name his children. This is the perfect insult for anybody that falls in this category.
Deliver your insult like a pro like this:
- If there was a naming committee in our neighborhood, I would start a protest that would last for 10 days if you volunteer.
11. If you were Noah in the Bible, you would have jeopardized God’s plan to try to catch a fish or two.
A fisherman who does not fish is like a human who does not breathe, he is used to fishing all the time and whenever he has the privilege to fish he takes it, the activity might not be fun-filled for everyone else but it is for a fisherman.
Try not to laugh when delivering this insult:
- I bet if you were there in the Bible with Noah and he told you that you should come on the ark, you would miss it because you wanted to make a quick stop to see if you would see some fish to eat that day.
12. I wonder why you, a fishing buddy, are worried about the recent flu. You never catch anything.
This insult emphasizes the fact that the fisherman in question does not know how to catch fish because he is an amateur or because he is unlucky.
His unluckiness to catch any fish may extend to the flu everybody is having. If you have anybody that is this unlucky or sucks at catching fish this is the perfect insult for them.
Look away when delivering this insult:
- If fish fell from the skies, I can bet my groceries fund on it that you won’t see anyone to bring home.
13. Someone will soon take your wife, you can’t survive the year on that “net income”
This insult indicates that a fisherman’s income is never enough, and no matter what he catches with his net, it will never be enough to fund a certain lifestyle or do some important things like pay off the mortgage, go to a private school, eat well, and dress well.
Deliver your insult like a pro like this:
- Your wife will soon bring a substitute husband to your house if you don’t switch up on this fishing hustle.
14. We won’t let you drink in the rainy season because you always try to fish in our flooded drainage system
This insult portrays the connection between a person and his profession. In this case, the fisherman subconsciously loves his job so much that in that state of feeling good, he mistook a puddle of water for a river.
Insult them this way:
- Your wife said she has complained many times and you didn’t listen so she started making money off you on TikTok.
15. I told you before, sometimes try to sell all your fish because your son can’t stop stealing my daughter’s meat during the launch in school
This insult portrays an instance where the fisherman’s kids are not proud of their father’s work and even if they are proud, they are tired of eating fish.
Therefore they start to misbehave and it is easier to misbehave where there is indirect or direct peer pressure.
Deliver your insult this way:
- With the way things are going your kids will knowingly follow a kidnapper because of meat.
16. When I asked your daughter about the course she wants to study, she said “As long as they don’t mention or do anything about fish in the course I will study it”.
This insult addresses the fact that most kids won’t be proud of a fisherman’s father when their friends’ dad has better jobs like being politicians, doctors, and so forth.
So they try as much as possible to make sure that they don’t have anything to do with their father’s profession. Whatever it takes, they are ready to do it just to avoid that fate.
Wear a smile when delivering this insult:
- I asked your daughter, if she could change anything, what would it be? She said that she would have changed you to another person but she would rather make her family forget anything fish.
I said the reason you are bad at self-defense is that you only throw “hooks”
This insult is a play on words and it means that the fisherman is only good at throwing hooks that catch fish, but he is bad at everything else, especially self-defense.
Try not to laugh when delivering this Insult:
- The only thing you prevail over in life is fish, but if yourself was to fight, he would still win over you.
My sister said she will go on a date with you as long as there is no river, and there is no fish.
No girl will want to go out with a fisherman in this era. Unless the fisherman is tall and handsome and very noticeable.
But if his sense of romance is only about spending time together fishing, and hanging around a stream, only a few ladies can cope with that.
Deliver your insult this way:
- Since you told me to tell you the truth, there is a high probability you will die lonely if you continue to be the fish man who is proud of his profession.
I heard you are part of those who are going on the evangelism trip, I bet the first thing you read in the Bible is “fishers of men”.
This is a clever insult that emphasizes how one’s profession can have an impact on one’s choice of words.
Even in a religious setting, fishers of men are used in the Bible, definitely, a good fisherman who is an evangelist would incorporate the phrase to facilitate his preaching.
Insult them this way:
- I heard you started losing the audience to your preaching because you can’t find any other thing to say than “We are the fishers of men”.
Your wife said she was scared to show you the 50,000 dollar scholarship she got in Saudi Arabia, I told her I was scared too.
This insult portrays a situation, where a fisherman’s wife gets a scholarship, which is supposed to be good news, but because it may affect the fisherman’s normal work life, she is scared to tell her husband about the scholarship.
Look away when delivering this insult:
- You are the only person I know whose profession decides whether good news is good news or good news is bad news.
- I told you not to bring your fishing gear, now I won’t be surprised if we are charged for being a terrorist.