Does your husband keep a mistress? Or do you know someone who is a mistress to a married man? Do you need clever insults for them? Then this article is for you.
Unfortunately, while some marriages might look beautiful on the outside, there are many problems these couples might be facing, including a cheating partner.
As a woman, if your husband keeps another woman on the side, it’s natural to be angry and wish to take it out on her.
However, if you don’t know how to go about that, you’ve got this article to guide you.
In this blog post, I’ll be providing you with smart insults you can use on your husband’s mistress or any lady keeping an improper relationship with a man.
20 Clever Insults for a Mistress
There are plenty of things you can say to a mistress. Most of the time, our anger can lead us to say things we might end up regretting.
That’s why you need this article for clever ways to insult a mistress.
Some examples include: “I wish you the same thing you wish me,” “Now, I see why you’re the best for him. You’re both snakes that I’d kill someday,” and “The more you speak, the more you sound dumb.”
Below are 20 witty insults for a mistress:
- I wish you the same thing you wish me
- Don’t get ahead of yourself, you could be wearing my shoes someday
- I can see you love trash, so you can have him
- Now, I see why you’re the best for him. You’re both snakes that I’d kill someday
- It seems no one is coming for you, so you’re going for someone’s own
- How pathetic! I thought you’ve got good taste
- Are you running out of admirers?
- You seem pretty and smart, but sadly you disappoint me
- You’re not wife material enough. You’d have been married long ago
- Congratulations! You’ve won yourself unhappiness
- I hope you get a happy life, but I see you can’t
- You’ve got plenty of choices, yet you chose to be stupid
- You’re just a gold digger with no direction
- The excitement is just for a trifling moment. But, you might die before it dies out
- You’re not bad, you’re worse than a bad day
- The more you speak, the more you sound dumb
- I’m not impressed, I thought my husband chose a better
- He’ll leave you anyway, so enjoy while you can
- You’re not different from a toilet where we go to relieve ourselves
- So, you can’t get yourself a free man? You’re the type that wears people’s underwear
I Wish You the Same Thing You Wish Me
“I wish you the same thing you wish me” is one of the smart things to say to insult a mistress.
Most mistresses’ wish is for the man to divorce the wife, so they can take over the home as the wife. You’ll hardly find a lady who’ll be comfortable as the side chick.
So, this is a simple yet savage way to insult your husband’s mistress. It tells her that she’ll end up feeling the same way you’re feeling as the wife.
Also, this is something you can say without any trace of anger or bitterness, and it’ll still get to her.
Don’t Get Ahead of Yourself, You Could Be Wearing My Shoes Someday
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, you could be wearing my shoes someday” is another calm and clever way to insult your husband’s mistress.
This statement serves as a warning and a ridicule. First, it warns her not to get relaxed and that she could also be in your position.
In addition, it reminds her of her place as nothing but a cheat.
I Can See You Love Trash, So You Can Have Him
“I can see you love trash, so you can have him” is another way to ridicule a mistress.
This is a savage one-liner that insults your husband and the woman at the same time. It calls your husband trash while implying that she loves trash.
Also, adding that she can have him means you’re no longer interested in him. So, this is something you should say if you’re no longer interested in your marriage.
- You both are trash, so you fit
- This is a match made in heaven. Seeing that you’re both trash
Now, I See Why You’re the Best for Him. You’re Both snakes That I’d Kill Someday
Calling your husband and the mistress snakes is one of the smart insults to give the mistress.
This one-liner is a savage one that doesn’t only insult them, it’s also one that threatens them.
Also, this is something you should say to instill fear in the woman. Moreover, saying that she’s suited for him because they’re both snakes is a hilarious insult that’ll sting.
It Seems No One Is Coming for You, So You’re Going for Someone’s Own
“It seems no one is coming for you, so you’re going for someone’s own” is another smart thing to say to make fun of a mistress.
This statement ridicules her by implying that she has no man coming for her, and that’s why she’s going for someone else’s husband.
Also, it will work for your husband’s mistress or for a woman you know is mistress to another’s husband. It’s a classic insult that makes nonsense of her person.
How Pathetic! I Thought You’ve Got Good Taste
“How pathetic! I thought you’ve got good taste” is another thing you can say to insult a mistress.
If it’s your husband’s mistress, then this statement implies you’re no longer interested in the man, since you’re referring to him as a bad taste.
Also, it’s a crazy line that makes fun of her for her choice and insults the man by referring to him as a bad choice.
- So your taste is “rejected men”. How pathetic!
- I feel sorry for you. You’re only having the remnants
Are You Running Out of Admirers?
“Are you running out of admirers?” is a question you can pose to a mistress to make fun of her.
This is a taunting question that ridicules her by implying that she’s no longer getting admirers and that’s why she chooses to go after someone else’s own.
Also, it’s a great way to insult her in front of an audience.
- Are you suddenly out of admirers? Is that why you’ve got eyes on other people’s own?
- Is your pot now empty?
You Seem Pretty and Smart, But Sadly You Disappoint Me
“You seem pretty and smart, but sadly you disappoint me” is another sharp statement you can use to insult a woman in an illicit relationship.
This statement ridicules her by inferring that you thought she was a smart person. Then adding that she disappoints you adds insult to injury.
Also, it’s something you can say to her face and walk away without giving her a chance to speak. It’ll surely hit hard, especially with people around.
You’re Not Wife Material Enough. You’d Have Been Married Long Ago
“You’re not wife material enough. You’d have been married long ago” is another crazy statement to make to a woman in a relationship with a married man.
This punchline makes fun of her by inferring that she’s not fit to be a wife and that’s why she isn’t married.
Also, stating that she should’ve been married long ago will surely get to her.
Congratulations! You’ve Won Yourself Unhappiness
Another interesting way to poke fun at a mistress is with this statement, “Congratulations! You’ve won yourself unhappiness.”
This is a savage remark that’ll hit hard, as it sounds like flattery. However, congratulating her for getting “unhappiness” as a gift will surely hurt.
Also, this sarcastic comment is what you should say in front of an audience to make her not only hurt but embarrassed. You should even stick out your hand for a handshake for a more dramatic effect.
- Congratulations! I look forward to your years of unhappiness
- Congratulations! I’m so happy you’ll remain unhappy for the rest of your life
I Hope You Get a Happy Life, But I See You Can’t
“I hope you get a happy life, but I see you can’t” is another crazy line that you can use to make fun of a mistress.
This statement ridicules her by implying that you hope for happiness for her. Then adding that she can’t, will hit harder. Also, it’s a sarcastic and savage comment she won’t miss.
- I hope you have a happy life, but I see happiness is very far away
- I hope you have a happy life, but we can all dream, right?
You’ve Got Plenty of Choices, Yet You Chose to Be Stupid
Another crazy line for a mistress is “You’ve got plenty of choices, yet you chose to be stupid.”
This is an insulting statement that not only makes fun of her for her wrong choice, it also ridicules her by calling her stupid.
Also, this iconic punchline will work well with an audience around.
You’re Just a Gold Digger with no Direction
“You’re just a gold digger with no direction” is another interesting line that makes nonsense of a mistress.
Nobody likes to be referred to as a gold digger. So, calling her a gold digger will surely sting. In addition, adding that she lacks direction makes it more hilarious and offensive.
- You’re just a gold digger with no direction. You’ll keep digging and digging without resting
- You’re just a gold digger. You’ll dig for gold all your life and never find it
The Excitement Is Just for a Trifling Moment. But, You Might Die Before It Dies Out
No one wishes to die young. Many people are afraid to die irrespective of their age.
So, this one-liner is a crazy one that doesn’t just remind a mistress of her place, it also wishes for her death. Also, it’s a funny way to insult her and watch her tremble in fear.
You’re Not Bad, You’re Worse Than a Bad Day
“You’re not bad, you’re worse than a bad day” is another funny and smart thing to say to insult someone.
It’ll work for a mistress, as it compares her to a bad day, implying that she’s worse.
Also, it’s a sarcastic statement that’ll make her appear foolish.
The More You Speak, the More You Sound Dumb
“The more you speak, the more you sound dumb” is another thing to say to make fun of a mistress.
This statement is a simple yet savage one that calls her out for her foolishness.
Also, this is something you say as a response during a conversation with her to make her appear foolish.
I’m Not Impressed, I Thought My Husband Chose Better
“I’m not impressed, I thought my husband chose better” is another crazy remark you can leave with your husband’s mistress.
This iconic punchline will certainly hit hard. Also, it’s something you should say after meeting up with her as a comment before walking away.
It expresses your disappointment after making her feel she’s something worth you coming over to check out. It’ll surely sting, especially with an audience around.
- I’m not impressed. He should’ve done better
- I’m disappointed that he’s doing this with something like you
He’ll Leave You Anyway, So Enjoy While You Can
Not everyone can take out what they dish out, so reminding a mistress that she’s a temporary arrangement is one way to get to her.
This classic insult will work well with a calm tone. You can make it as a passing comment or to end a conversation with her and dismiss her.
You’re Not Different from a Toilet Where We Go to Relieve Ourselves
“You’re not different from a toilet where we go to relieve ourselves” is another crazy one-liner you can use to insult a mistress.
This is a smart thing you can say as a passing comment or during a conversation with her.
Also, this comparison with a toilet will surely hurt, as it implies she’s nothing but a place where people go to relieve themselves.
You should say it with others present. She’ll surely be short of comebacks.
- You’re just a public toilet
- You’re nothing but a toilet, so I won’t stoop so low to engage with you
So, You Can’t Get Yourself a Free Man? You’re the Type That Wears People’s Underwear
This one-liner is another insulting statement to make to a mistress.
First, it insults her by implying that she can’t get a free man. Then adding that she can wear people’s underwear is a ridiculous comment that implies that she lacks dignity.
End Note
No one will appreciate their spouse keeping another partner. So, if you discover that your husband keeps a mistress, it’s natural to feel hurt and angry.
This article has provided you with a list of things to say to remind a mistress of her place without violence. So, when next you’re confronting one, harm yourself with these clever insults to get to her.