New Zealand, the country where the sport, Rugby, shines, the beautiful landscape and the popular representation of the Kiwi bird.
These are some intriguing facts about the place that New Zealander reside in, these are also facts that can be used to roast the person or people of New Zealand effectively.
In this article I have prepared a list of witty hot jabs and disses suitable for a New Zealander, I have also set instances at which these expressions can be formulated and used.
With these expressions, winning a roast battle against a New Zealander is guaranteed.
If this sounds fun and intriguing to you, then continue reading to get the funniest of the funny roast for a New Zealander.
List of 20 Funny Roasts for a New Zealander
- It’s funny how the word ‘’new” is in New Zealand when everything there is old.
- I love your Kiwi accent, it is going to be easy for sheeps to understand you.
- I can’t believe how beautiful you look Kiwi, honestly I can’t believe it.
- From what I know, Kiwis are calm birds but when I see you I sincerely doubt if you’re from New Zealand.
- If you’ve ever been to Aotearoa, you’d know that being a New Zealander is hard labor.
- Must I add Kiwi to every sentence for you to understand properly? Kiwit that!
- People ask, what is a mother without her child but I ask who is a New Zealander without his sheep.
- it’s possible to beat the record of anything except the record of the amount of sheep a New Zealander can have, that’s impossible to beat.
- I love how well presented you are, it’s sad that a Kiwi looks good on the outside but really has nothing on the inside.
- It’s good to have you around but it’s better to send you off to New Zealand.
- The most grievous and monstrous act you could ever do in the eyes of a New Zealander is to hurt a kiwi bird.
- I hope you understand that life is not just about birds and birds.
- You’re an intelligent person so you should know that I am lying.
- What makes a New Zealander humble lies in the brain of a kiwi bird.
- The bravest thing that a New Zealander has ever done is to live in New Zealand.
- Being from New Zealand must be hard, dealing with the sound of Kiwis everyday, wow! It’s so hard.
- A New Zealander gives a warm welcome that it could replace the fireplace in a household.
- New Zealanders’ love for Rugby is just as their passion for losing.
- Laughing is a good thing until a New Zealander decides to do it.
- I love your confidence but you’re still going to need extra support from a Kiwi bird.
It’s funny how the word ‘’new” is in New Zealand when everything there is old.
Calling everything in New Zealand “old” could be interpreted as dismissing its progress and innovation, which might offend New Zealanders who take pride in their country’s advancements.
It essentially overlooks the dynamic and vibrant aspects of New Zealand’s culture, economy, and society.
- Everything is old in NEW Zealand, how ironic.
- Being in New Zealand makes me wonder why everything is old.
I love your Kiwi accent, it is going to be easy for sheeps to understand you.
This statement could be seen as insulting because it reduces the intelligence of New Zealanders by comparing them to animals, specifically sheep.
It implies that their accent is somehow on par with the understanding level of sheep, which is demeaning.
It also reinforces a stereotype about New Zealanders being primarily associated with sheep farming.
- Your kiwi accent makes sheeps glad to have you with them.
- With this kind of accent, sheeps would not have a problem talking to you.
I can’t believe how beautiful you look Kiwi, honestly I can’t believe it.
This hilarious expression could be interpreted as insulting because it suggests surprise or disbelief that someone from New Zealand could be beautiful, implying that attractiveness is unexpected from individuals of that nationality.
It perpetuates a stereotype that undermines the diversity and beauty of New Zealanders as a whole.
- You look too beautiful to be from New Zealand.
- You’re the most beautiful New Zealander I have ever seen, it’s strange.
From what I know, Kiwis are calm birds but when I see you I sincerely doubt if you’re from New Zealand.
This statement could be considered insulting to a New Zealander because it implies that they don’t fit the stereotype of being calm, suggesting instead that they appear agitated or unsettled.
It’s insulting because it associates a negative characteristic with their nationality, disregarding the individual’s personality.
- You’re not in any way calm, are you sure you are from New Zealand?
- I sincerely doubt if you’re from New Zealand, Kiwi birds represent calmness.
If you’ve ever been to Aotearoa, you’d know that being a New Zealander is hard labor.
This expression could be perceived as insulting to New Zealanders because it reduces their identity to a stereotype associated with physical labor, overlooking the diverse range of professions and contributions within New Zealand society.
You could use this expression amongst your friends or colleagues at work.
- Being a New Zealander is almost like hard labor.
- Aotearoa is a place in New Zealand, I learnt hard labor there.
Must I add Kiwi to every sentence for you to understand properly? Kiwit it!
This expression uses a play on words with the word ‘Kiwit that’ instead of ‘Quit it’.
Adding “Kiwi” to every sentence might come across as mocking or stereotyping New Zealanders, implying that their identity or speech patterns are limited to using the term “Kiwi” excessively. It could be seen as belittling of their culture and individuality.
- Would you Kiwit stop adding kiwi to every sentence?
- You’re fond of saying the word Kiwi, try something else.
People ask, what is a mother without her child but I ask who is a New Zealander without his sheep.
This expression could be seen as an insult to New Zealanders as it perpetuates a stereotype that associates them solely with sheep farming, ignoring the diversity in their culture and identity.
It reduces New Zealanders to a simplistic caricature, which can be offensive.
- I don’t think New Zealand would exist without sheeps.
- I can’t believe the amount of connection a New Zealander has with his sheep.
it’s possible to beat the record of anything except the record of the amount of sheep a New Zealander can have, that’s impossible to beat.
This statement could be interpreted as insulting to New Zealanders because it reinforces the stereotype that their identity is primarily defined by sheep farming.
It reduces their achievements and capabilities to a single aspect of their culture, overlooking their diverse talents, contributions, and accomplishments in various fields beyond agriculture.
- New Zealanders love to keep sheeps it’s like a competition.
- I feel that New Zealanders think the more sheep they have, the longer they live.
I love how well presented you are, it’s sad that a Kiwi looks good on the outside but really has nothing on the inside.
This statement is all shades of insulting to New Zealanders as it implies that they may appear attractive on the surface but lack substance or depth on the inside.
It’s a generalization that diminishes the value of their character suggesting that they are superficial.
- You’re so well put together but nothing is on the inside.
- I can’t tell if you’re intelligent but your outfit looks good.
It’s good to have you around but it’s better to send you off to New Zealand.
Expressions like this are insulting to New Zealanders because it suggests that sending someone to New Zealand would be undesirable or inferior.
It implies that being in New Zealand is somehow less desirable than being elsewhere, which could be offensive to New Zealanders who are proud of their country.
- I should have sent you to New Zealand, you shouldn’t be here.
- Being sent off to New Zealand is better than you staying here.
The most grievous and monstrous act you could ever do in the eyes of a New Zealander is to hurt a kiwi bird.
This is another expression that could be seen as insulting to New Zealanders because it reduces their concerns to a single issue, namely the protection of the kiwi bird.
While it’s true that kiwi conservation is important to many New Zealanders, implying that this is the most grievous and monstrous act in their eyes overlooks the complexity of their values and priorities.
- I don’t know why you think I am wicked, I didn’t hurt a kiwi bird or something.
- No matter what happens, a New Zealander does not react until you hurt a Kiwi bird.
I hope you understand that life is not just about birds and birds.
This hilarious expression could be perceived as insulting to New Zealanders because it trivializes their cultural values and concerns, reducing them to a simplistic obsession with birds.
It implies that New Zealanders are overly fixated on one aspect of their environment.
- Life is not only about birds, is that all you know as a New Zealander?
- You’re a New Zealander, life is all about birds to you.
You’re an intelligent person so you should know that I am lying.
This expression could be interpreted as insulting to New Zealanders because it suggests that intelligence is equated with deceitfulness.
It perpetuates a negative stereotype that implies New Zealanders are untrustworthy.
- I am such a big lair Derick, I think you’re intelligent.
- You are so amazing and intelligent while I am just a liar.
What makes a New Zealander humble lies in the brain of a kiwi bird.
Here is another statement that could be seen as insulting to New Zealanders because it implies that their humility is solely derived from an animal’s brain rather than their own character.
It diminishes the genuine humility of New Zealanders by attributing it to a non-human source, which can be offensive.
- The Kiwi brain holds the secret to a lot of New Zealanders’ stupidity.
- Why New Zealanders become humble is only going to be known by a Kiwi bird.
The bravest thing that a New Zealander has ever done is to live in New Zealand.
An expression like this could make a New Zealander go absolutely nuts.
It suggests that merely living in New Zealand is an act of bravery, implying that their country is inherently dangerous or challenging to reside in.
This overlooks the many accomplishments, contributions, and challenges faced by New Zealanders both within their country.
- You’re truly brave my friend, you are living in New Zealand.
- People who live in New Zealand are the bravest people in the world.
Being from New Zealand must be hard, dealing with the sound of Kiwis everyday, wow! It’s so hard.
The sarcasm present in this expression makes this insult line hilarious and creative.
“ The sound of Kiwis” is a ridiculous way of saying that a New Zealander does not have a lot to deal with beyond dealing with a simple bird. It mocks the popular stereotype that New Zealanders are fond of the bird, Kiwi.
- It’s pretty tough living in New Zealand, you have to hear the sound of birds all day.
- People think that living in New Zealand is all about Kiwi, it’s more than that, they are other birds too.
A New Zealander gives a warm welcome that it could replace the fireplace in a household.
This expression exaggerates the hospitality of New Zealanders in an hilarious manner.
It suggests that New Zealander are so warm with receiving people that it could be used as a fireplace in a household. It’s surely going to get your friends that you share it with laugh.
- I received such a warm welcome in New Zealand that I cooked a vegetable with it.
- I sincerely love the warm reception that New Zealander give, it’s better during the winter.
New Zealanders’ love for Rugby is just as their passion for losing.
If you’re coming after Rugby, you’re surely coming for a New Zealander as well.
This mocks the winning streak of New Zealanders in the world of sports by implying that it is zero. With the right context and the right audience you will surely nail this expression.
- Your passion for losing is the same as your passion for Rugby.
- You’re not going to be champions soon with this kind of passion for Rugby.
Laughing is a good thing until a New Zealander decides to do it.
This expression could be interpreted that a New Zealander perhaps laughs in a weird way which could set some people’s life.
It’s a ridiculous way of saying that a certain person makes laughing a terrible thing which could sting a New Zealander a little bit.
- When you start laughing everyone starts to cry.
- When a New Zealander starts to laugh, prepare yourself to hear a weird snorting sound.
I love your confidence but you’re still going to need extra support from a Kiwi bird.
This statement stands out as an insult because it begins with a compliment and then slaps a New Zealander right in the face at the end.
Needing a Kiwi bird to get more confidence is an hilarious way of saying that a New Zealander relies so much on a bird for everything including confidence.
- I really need extra support, I better go get my Kiwi bird.
- As a New Zealander I bet you take a Kiwi everywhere you go to boost your confidence.