People love to make assumptions rather than ask questions for the real truth to come out.
This is because it is easier to make assumptions and give out incomplete information about a situation, rather than going through the process of inquiring.
This article is for you If you have someone who makes assumptions about people a lot.
They have just assumed you like someone because of your closeness with them, and you wish to roast them without mercy, then you are in the right place.
In this article, I have compiled 20 clever and funny roasts, jokes, and jabs you can use to roast someone when they say you like someone.
Here are 20 funny roasts for someone when they say you like someone
- You think I like him? Maybe you need your eyes checked
- I hope you have a permit for dropping bombshells – ‘I like someone’ is seismic.
- Hold on, let me grab my fainting couch. ‘You think I like him?’ That’s just too scandalous for words.
- Wow, saying ‘I like someone’ – groundbreaking! Did you just invent emotions?
- I’m putting on my surprised face because, honestly, who saw ‘I like someone’ coming?
- Let me get this straight: ‘I like someone’? You must have a Ph.D. in stating the obvious
- Oh you assume I like her? Wow! That must be a shocking world revelation
- Cue the dramatic music – we’ve got a blockbuster announcement: She just said ‘I like someone.”
- I can’t wait for your “you like someone” to go down the history drain as expected.
- If this is your hypothesis of liking someone, then you must consult my history books for dating expertise
- Saying ‘you like someone’ is out of fashion? I guess we’re all waiting for the trendy one.
- Your idea of me liking someone is ancient. Your relationship wisdom must be written in cuneiform.
- Saying I like someone is outdated. What is the hip new phrase
- I bet your social skills are due for a major update.
- Your ‘you like someone’ comments are like unsolicited ads – annoying, irrelevant, and everyone wishes they could skip them.
- If ‘You Like Someone’ were a song, you’d be topping the charts with your hit single of irrelevance
- You go around making assumptions- No wonder your bank account is empty. I know you also failed to check the actual figure and you just assumed
- I wonder how you met your man, so brainy and sensible. A reminder of what you lack.
- You think I like him? Make it make sense
- The way you think is so archaic. I’ll be over here in the present while you catch up from the past.
1. You think I like him? Maybe you need your eyes checked
Someone who loves to assume a lot has brought their assumption theory to your side, now they have conjured a non-existent chemistry.
Roast them with this insult that is capable of shutting them off your business.
- You think I like him? Maybe you need your eyes checked, or maybe I just need a more convincing fake poker face.
- Like him? I’m worried for you. You might need to visit the optician
2. I hope you have a permit for dropping bombshells – ‘I like someone’ is seismic.
Here is a hilarious roast for someone when they say you like someone.
This roast compares their phrases to bombshell and seismic (a volcanic eruption) to figuratively say that they just told a great liar.
Call someone a liar creatively with this roast:
- No wonder you love dropping bombshells, your dating life is more like an underground bunker.
- Your romantic revelations are more like a minor tremor in a forgotten desert. No wonder you have a permit for dropping bombshells.
3. Hold on, let me grab my fainting couch. ‘You think I like him?’ That’s just too scandalous for words.
A little dramatic expression to use to roast your friend who says you like someone.
She noticed there is a particular guy always coming to visit and you and that guy talk, joke, and eat together.
Boom! She only needed to add the dots to come up with the ‘you like him phrase’ to say to you when next she sees you, and he’s she just told you that.
Feign like you are going to fall upon hearing the accusations and say:
- Someone help with my inhaler; you just seized my breath with your words.
- I should charge you for slander for saying those words.
4. Wow, saying ‘I like someone’ – groundbreaking! Did you just invent emotions?
Another roast to use for someone who says you like someone.
This roast implies that you have only conjured your feelings and statement out of the blue and there isn’t any evidence to back it up.
This is another way to call out people who assume a lot about situations.
- Saying I like someone? Congrats! That’s such a novel concept, Einstein would be proud!
5. I’m putting on my surprised face because, honestly, who saw ‘I like someone’ coming?
You and your friends just met a guy at the party, and after he left your friend just spilled out of nowhere “You like him”!
Shocking, right? Yes, that is friends for you. They can be so naughty sometimes and would even go to lengths to frustrate the hell outta you.
This roast is a creative and dramatic response to your friend who says you like someone.
- I’m putting on my fake interest face because, honestly, who saw ‘I like someone’ as breaking news?”
- I’m putting on my bored expression because, honestly, who’s still surprised by ‘I like someone’ at this point?
6. Let me get this straight: ‘I like someone’? You must have a Ph.D. in stating the obvious
Here is a sarcastic comment to use to roast someone who concludes that you like someone without hearing the truth from you.
Saying they have a PhD is stating the obvious is an ironic way of saying they only say things based on assumptions.
They do it often and you are just tired of them always concluding before hearing you out. Use these sarcastic lines to roast them.
- You must have bagged a first class in ‘stating the obvious” for you to be so good at doing that.
7. Oh you assume I like her? Wow! That must be a shocking world revelation
So many people misinterpret a little act of kindness for something else.
If your friend is part of the 50% of people who believe as a man you have to give kindness to collect something in return for a lady, then this roast is for them.
This roast can also act as an orientation for them.
8. Cue the dramatic music – we’ve got a blockbuster announcement: She just said ‘I like someone.
Another creative cum dramatic roast to use for someone who says you like someone. It is a witty way to ridicule them publicly.
Be more dramatic when delivering this roast. Make sure you have gotten the crowd’s attention, then rise from your seat and say;
- Hello everyone, my friend just made a shocking revelation to me: she just said I like someone.
This is sure to give them hot burns, especially when they are introverts. Also, an effective way to stop them from spreading untrue gists about you.
9. I can’t wait for your “you like someone” to go down the history drain as expected.
Perhaps you are tired and fed up with someone telling you like someone. This has become intolerable and you just need them to stop. Use this creative roast to air your aggression towards them.
- I can’t wait for you to lose the memory of the “you like someone” phrase you constantly say to me.
10. If this is your hypothesis of liking someone, then you must consult my history books for dating expertise.
Some people are just too petty in thinking, and this witty roast is for people like that. Just because you hang around someone most of the time, they already assume that you like that person.
People can be so funny with the way they assume things and spread them out like some verified truth.
Don’t let it get cold. Roast them with this punchline while it is hot.
- If this is your hypothesis of liking someone, then your perception of things is so vintage and in desperate need of an upgrade.
11. Saying ‘you like someone’ is out of fashion? I guess we’re all waiting for the trendy one.
Use this clever insult to roast someone who says you like someone. This roast creatively tells them to keep quiet if they don’t have something sensible to say. This is a classic burner for them.
- Say something better than this or have you run out of phrases?
- Saying ‘you like someone’ is so 2000? Well, your humor must be stuck in the millennials.
12. Your idea of me liking someone is ancient. Your relationship wisdom must be written in cuneiform.
Use this roast on someone who confronts you with accusations of you liking someone. This roast is more suitable if they are elderly people with an archaic mentality.
This roast draws humorous effect by emphasizing how archaic they are, making references to cuneiform- wedge-shaped characters used in the ancient writing systems of Mesopotamia, Persia, and Ugarit, surviving mainly on clay tablets.
- Your idea of me liking someone is so archaic. Can I expect some roast tips via carrier pigeon?
13. Saying I like someone is outdated. What is the hip new phrase
How do you tell someone that they lack intelligence by not saying it literally? Go ahead and use this roast. Saying I like someone is outdated.
What is the hip new phrase is a classic punchline you can use to roast someone who says you like someone.
- Your ‘you like someone’ remarks are so legendary; they should have their section in the history books.
14. I bet your social skills are due for a major update.
This roast is for them if they lack communication, interpersonal, and social skills. It’s easy to know people who lack these skills because it will be obvious that they lack social mannerisms.
- Your social skills are due for a major update – like switching from dial-up to fiber optic, but for communication.
15. Your ‘you like someone’ comments are like unsolicited ads – annoying, irrelevant, and everyone wishes they could skip them.
Here is another classic punchline you can say to someone who assumes you like a person. This is capable of making them shut up. Use this expression to screw them.
- Your ‘you like someone’ comments are so irrelevant. It makes everyone ones to hit the mute button once you attempt to talk.
16. If ‘You Like Someone’ were a song, you’d be topping the charts with your hit single of irrelevance
Another sarcastic comment to pass on to them is ”you like someone’ were a song, you’d be topping the charts with your hit single of irrelevance”. This roast should be used to reiterate your displeasure with their usage of the roast.
17. You go around making assumptions- No wonder your bank account is empty. I know you also failed to check the actual figure and you just assumed.
This is for them if all they know how to do is spread rumors while their finances or other parts of their life that need attention are in crisis. Use this roast to make jest of them and to point out their level of stupidity.
- If you could get rich by assumptions you would have had a fat account now.
18. I wonder how you met your man, so brainy and sensible. A reminder of what you lack.
A closer examination of their lives, you will find out that they lack common sense yet they are blessed with sensible partners. Use this roast to mildly insult them and to state the obvious.
19. You think I like him? Make it make sense
“I like him? Make it make sense” is another punchline to use for someone who says you like a person. Use it while you are in a heated argument with them.
- Your ‘you like someone’ is absolutely improbable and absurd
20. The way you think is so archaic. I’ll be over here in the present while you catch up from the past.
A final roast to send them home crying. Make it more effective by infusing a sarcastic tone while delivering the roast.
- Your thought process is so ancient; even history books are giving you a side-eye. I’ll be in the present while you consult a time traveler for an update.
- Your thinking is like a relic from the Stone Age. I’ll be here in the 21st century, contemplating how you’re still using a mental abacus.