Are you looking for the best way to roast someone? Well, this article offers you more than just one.
Roasting someone with a mustache may simply entail making fun of their mustache’s shape and lining.
You can make fun of how much or how little of a mustache they have and try to exaggerate the reality to create a comic effect.
Besides, the whole point of roasting is to relieve tension and anxiety by cracking up some persons’ ribs.
In this article, I’ll be showing you funny roasts for someone with a mustache. Alright, let’s dive into some mustache-themed roasts, but remember to keep it light and friendly!
Best 20 Roasts for Someone With a Mustache
Maybe your mustache is a family heirloom – passed down from your ancestors, inventors of the Chia Pet
Take the person by surprise. One way to roast someone with a mustache and do it well is by coming at them unexpectedly.
This means you have to come to them without prior notice. And to do this, you can use this roast line to achieve that.
With this line, you’re jokingly insinuating that the person’s mustache must be a family heirloom which is passed down from their ancestors, who were the inventors of the Chia Pet.
- Your mustache must be the only physical link between you and your ancestors.
That mustache screams ‘I peaked in high school wrestling’ – all ruffled up
Troll them for having a disarrayed mustache. This has to be another way you can roast someone with a mustache.
In this, you’re saying the person’s mustache looks like it is all ruffled up, as the hairs scream ‘I peaked in high school wrestling’.
You’re just saying that the person’s mustache is unkept, which is a viable way to make fun of their mustache.
- Your mustache looks messed up, you can’t help but think it is an MMA fighter.
That mustache is so impressive, that it’s practically habitable. I wouldn’t be surprised if birds start reproducing in it
Hit the person with some animal roasts. You can roast someone with a mustache using this line. With this, you’re implying that the person’s mustache is so impressive, it could be lived in.
Thus, strengthening the view that you wouldn’t be surprised if birds start reproducing in it.
You’re using this roast line to batter the person for having such an impressive mustache that fowls of the air find it inhabitable.
- You have such a nice mustache, it could pass for a 4-star rating if it were to be a hotel.
Hey, man with Rollie Fingers! Any tips on pitching a curveball with your facial hair
Roast them by naming their mustache. Since there’s no handbook on how best to roast someone, you can roast a person with a mustache by giving a name to their mustache, based on what you perceive from them.
Here, you’re saying the person’s mustache is shaped like the Rollie Fingers which is a mustache curved at both ends and rolled up, usually done with the fingers after application of any suitable hair cream.
- Hey, Mr. SideBurns! You look more grazed and trimmed like a football pitch.
Your mustache looks like it hasn’t seen a comb since the disco era. Maybe invest in some hairspray – or a time machine to go back in time
Come up with some cool retro roasts. You can also throw in a retro joke or roast line in the case of someone who has a mustache. To do that, you have yourself this exceptional line.
With this line, you’re implying that judging from how the person’s mustache looks, it appears as if it hasn’t seen a comb since the Disco era, which is like in the ’60s and ’70s.
Plus, you’re saying that it could be a good investment if the person used a hair spray or a time machine to go back in time and use a comb, yet again.
- Your mustache looks so dry, I bet its only oil is sweat and mucus.
If your mustache is a metaphor for your personality, that means you must be unkept, thick, and messy
Say it as it is, don’t hold back any words. Do you think the person you want to roast because of his mustache is messy?
You don’t have to be overly conservative with your words. You can always come at the person by using this roast line.
Here, you’re saying that if the person’s mustache were to be a metaphor or representation of their personality, then it means the person must be unkept and messy too.
- If your mustache were to be a place, it’d be the house next to a dumpster.
Hey Santa Claus, nice mustache you got there. Did you take a break from delivering presents to grow them?
Pull out some Christmas-themed roasts. Being a good pioneer of roasts that slap hard means you have to stretch your arms to draw inspiration from unlikely places.
However, using this line, you’ll be cajoling the person you want to roast by calling them Santa and throwing a question at them to understand if the person took some time off delivering presents to grow such a nice mustache.
- Hey, Santa, heard you added some new layers to your mustache. They look cooler than before.
Did you know your mustache could be considered a work of art? It’s like a masterpiece… in need of a little touch-up
Appraise their mustache with a compliment laced with sarcasm. Another good way to roast someone with a mustache is by using this line.
Here, you’re saying that the person’s mustache could be considered a work of art because it’s like a masterpiece but instead, it needs a little touch-up, grooming, or care.
- Your mustache is so in need of a touch-up that you should make it your life’s mission to never deny it the chance to look better than it already is.
Your mustache is so legendary. People will write songs about it, and it will attract more attention than a UFO sighting
Drag the person out sarcastically. You can put sarcasm into good use if you intend to use this line as your roast for someone with a mustache.
Since sarcasm works like magic in roasting people without upsetting them, you can’t be unaware of its importance.
Here you are, the person in question has a mustache so legendary that people will write songs about it, and their attention will be drawn to it more than a sighting of an extraterrestrial flying object, secularly known as a UFO.
- Your mustache is so legendary, it could be used as the nation’s official symbol of growth.
If your mustache were any bigger, it would need its social security number
Come at the person with more. The moment you decide to roast someone, you sign up to make sure you have enough roast lines to serve the person.
However, have yourself a good pick with this line, which has you insinuating that if the person’s mustache was any bigger than it already is, then it’d need its social security number as it is now an entity of its own.
Hence, you’re jokingly saying the person’s mustache is abnormally big and shouldn’t be so.
Having a social security number also means it now has a kind of its own as it is now a bonafide member of society. So, you’re using this roast line to scale how big the person’s mustache has gotten.
- If your mustache was any bigger, you’d be needing a tractor to trim it down.
Is it just me or does your mustache have more personality than you?
Lash out on them softly, it works. Just like in coming at the person that has a mustache, you can also roast the person by downplaying their values as a person, but you’ll be doing so in a way that isn’t confrontational.
To do this, you’ll need a tone that doesn’t come across as harsh or abrasive. However, using this line, you’re asking the person if you’re just the only person who sees that their mustache has more personality than theirs.
This is a way of saying the person lacks character and personality.
- Is it just me or does your mustache look more calm and collected than you?
Your mustache is a force to be reckoned with. I just hope it doesn’t have a mind of its own
Don’t stop at just soft roasts. If you want to up your game by roasting someone with a mustache, you can go on with this roast line.
Here, you’re implying that the person’s mustache is so obvious that it is a force to reckon with, but you hope it doesn’t have a mind of its own.
- I’m convinced your mustache stands out the most in your body.
Your mustache is so big, I heard it has its zip code
Drag the person for having a big mustache. While having a mustache is cool, having a big one is not entirely bad but a joke, especially if it’s not being taken care of.
Here, you’re saying the person’s mustache is so big, it must have its ZIP code just like you heard.
- Your mustache is so big, it could replace the grasses in my driveway.
Is your mustache auditioning for a role in a spaghetti Western? It’s got that rugged cowboy vibe
Give the person something to laugh and think about. Using this roast line, you’re asking the person if their mustache is auditioning for any role in a spaghetti Western because it has a rugged cowboy vibe.
- Is your mustache the reason you’re alive? You treat it like a dragon’s egg.
Your mustache is like a magnet for food particles. It’s a real snack trap!
Call the person out for having a tangled mustache. If a person’s mustache is tangy and too hairy, it could hold back some food particles while the person eats.
Using this line, you’re saying that the person’s mustache is like a magnet for food particles, as it acts like a real snack trap. This has to be a soft roast, decrying how untreated the person’s mustache is.
- Your mustache is like a real-time trapper, snacks can relate.
I bet your mustache has secret compartments where you hide snacks for later
Throw in that apartment joke if you must. If you’re going to use this line, you’ll be implying that with how the person’s mustache is shaped, it has to have secret compartments where one can hide snacks they’ll eat later.
- I bet your mustache has underground networks where sweat creates canals.
Your mustache is so thick, I’m surprised you don’t have birds nesting there
Pull the person’s legs with this line. While you can use any other roast line for someone with a mustache, this one stands out because you’re playing sarcasm on the person you want to roast.
Using this line, you’re expressing your surprise that there are bird nests on the person’s mustache judging from how thick they are.
- Your mustache is so thick, I can make a whole sponge from it.
If I were your mustache, I’d be jealous of all the attention it gets
Do well to make fun of the person’s mustache. Using this roast, you’re saying that if you were to be the mustache of the person, then you’d be jealous of all the attention it gets from the person you’re roasting.
- If I were your mustache, I’d get myself some oils but I’m not, so continue having dry mouth-top hair.
Your mustache is like a time machine, taking us back to when facial hair was cool
Remind the person their mustache is a nostalgia agent. You can come at the person you’re roasting using this line.
Here, you’re saying the person’s mustache takes you to when facial hair was a fashion flex, more like a hairy time machine.
- Your mustache is like a time machine, making me feel like my grandpa’s peer.
Is your mustache trying to compete with the Eiffel Tower? It’s reaching new heights
Troll the person for having a long mustache. Using this line to roast someone is a good call because you’ll be funnily detailing how the person’s mustache competes with one of the tallest platforms standing- the Eiffel Tower.
- Is your mustache trying to be more curved than the half a moon? It’s curved to the sky.
Final Words
If you were indecisive about how to roast someone with a mustache, I bet you’re more informed now as this article presents 20 funny roasts for such a task.
Remember, the key to a good roast is to keep it light and playful. You can adjust these suggestions to fit your relationship with the person and their sense of humor and have fun.