Brown is a type of hair color. Everywhere you go you will find a brown haired person, men and women, old and young. Most people with brown hair are ordinary looking, until they aren’t.
At RoastHow, we believe two fundamental truths: everyone is special, and anyone can be the subject of a roast, for no reason at all. This includes brown haired folks.
But how do you roast a brown haired person? What do you say about them to make people laugh? Well, you can say anything.
We have curated 20 funny roasts for someone with brown hair. Some are puns, others are outrightly outrageous suggestions. Whatever rocks your boat.
Dig in.
20 Funny Roasts for Someone With Brown Hair
1. Why is the brown-haired guy hanging from the roof of the bar?
The short answer is: because they heard the drinks were on the house! The brown haired guy takes whatever he hears literally.
It is his weakness. Some say it has a lot to do with his hair but it is hard to say if this is true or not. Perhaps when you invite him for drinks, don’t say the drinks are on the house. Simply order and pay.
- Why did Sarah, the brown-haired girl, go up the roof of the bar? She thought the drinks were on the house!
- Why is Alex, the brown-haired guy, hanging from the roof of the bar? He wanted to climb his way to the top shelf!
2. What do you call a brown-haired person who’s also a comedian?
They should be called: Hairy Hilarity! Don’t worry if this makes no sense to you. This is why it’s called a roast. Use this roast if the brown hair is long, unkempt and the person is a hilarious comedian.
There are many comedians with brown hair so it may appear ordinary that this person in question has brown hair too. As already established, it is the roast that makes them special.
- What do you call Emily, the brown-haired comedian? Hairy Hilarity!
- What do you call Tom, the brown-haired jokester? Hairy Hilarity!
3. Why is the brown-haired person always so calm?
Look for the pun here: it is because they are well-grounded! Did you catch the pun in this roast? Note that most grounds or soil is brown.
Compare this to the brown hair of the person in question. Being well grounded means being in control of one’s emotions.
Use this roast if you are outdoors, while camping for example. That way you can point to the ground when you say well grounded.
- Why is Jessica, the brown-haired girl, always so calm? She is well-grounded!
- Why is Michael, the brown-haired guy, always so relaxed? He is well-grounded!
4. How does a brown-haired person part their hair?
With a dividing line!
For no reason, the brown haired person uses a divider to part her hair. Is it because of the color of his hair? No one knows exactly.
And it doesn’t matter. This is a roast for college students by the way. And if the brown haired person is a math geek, the better.
A math student should know how to use a divider. A brown haired person should know how to use a divider to part their hair.
- How does Lisa, the brown-haired girl, part her hair? With a dividing line!
- How does Daniel, the brown-haired guy, style his hair? With a dividing line!
5. Why did the brown-haired person go to school on Saturday?
Because they heard it was a “bad hair day” workshop!
Usually, people say they are having a bad hair day if they’re having a terrible day. This funny roast is for students. And the student in question is said to be at school on a day people don’t usually go to school.
- Why did Emma, the brown-haired girl, go to school on Saturday? She heard it was a “bad hair day” workshop!
6. What do you call a brown-haired person who loves to dance?
A br-own dancer!
Don’t worry, this word was made up for this funny roast. This is what we do for roasts, we make up words because we have the journalistic license to do so. Br-own dancer is a pun on ballroom dancer.
The best way to use this funny roast is in writing, in a forum where the discussion is about dancing. Also if the person in question is a brown haired person.
- What do you call Rachel, the brown-haired dance enthusiast? A br-own dancer!
- What do you call Mark, the brown-haired guy who loves to dance? A br-own dancer!
7. Why don’t brown-haired people play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding them in a pile of leaves!
Do you see what the pun is on? This roast makes fun of how the color of dry, dead leaves makes it impossible for a brown haired person to camouflage themselves during a hide seek game.
The hair is brown, so are the leaves. This funny roast exaggerates the brown haired person’s predicament.
- Why don’t Sophia and her brown-haired friends play hide and seek? Good luck finding them in a pile of leaves!
- Why don’t Adam and his brown-haired pals play hide and seek? You won’t find them in a pile of leaves!
8. What’s a brown-haired person’s favorite type of music?
Brown-Eyed Soul!
Again, here is another play on words, and this time it is a play on the type of music called blue-eyed soul music.
This funny roast suggests that brown haired people fancy a special type of music: brown-eyed soul music.
Blue-eyed soul music is music that is performed by white artists. Guess who plays brown-eyed soul: brown-haired people.
- What’s Sarah’s favorite type of music? Brown-Eyed Soul!
- What kind of music does Brian, the brown-haired guy, love? Brown-Eyed Soul!
9. Why did the brown-haired person bring a mirror to the interview?
Because they wanted to reflect on their roots!
This is a roast that plays on two ideas: the brown color of three roots, and the idea that a person who looks in the mirror is being reflective.
Since this is a roast, expect no rhyme or reason in the way this roast comes together. What’s important is that the brown haired person brandishes a mirror at the interview.
- Why did Michelle, the brown-haired woman, bring a mirror to the interview? She wanted to reflect on her roots!
- Why did Jake, the brown-haired man, carry a mirror to the interview? He wanted to reflect on his roots!
10. How does a brown-haired person make a fashion statement?
By wearing hats – they’re tress-passing!
Two things: the brown haired person makes a fashion statement by wearing hats, then comes the pun on the word trespass—tress-passing.
If this roast is for someone with long brown hair, even better. The pun on tresses is a reference to long brown hair.
- How does Emily, the brown-haired fashionista, make a statement? By wearing hats – she’s tress-passing!
- How does David, the brown-haired style icon, stand out? By wearing hats – he’s tress-passing!
11. Why did the brown-haired person bring a brush to the beach?
To tame the waves!
Use this roast when at the beach with a brown haired person. If the person is female, even better. This roast relates the waves of brown hair to the waves of the sea.
The humor of this roast is found in the suggestion that the brown haired person brings a brush to the beach for the purpose of taming the waves, the way a person’s hair may be tamed by the brush.
- Why did Lily, the brown-haired beachgoer, bring a brush to the beach? To tame the waves!
- Why did Ethan, the brown-haired surfer, carry a brush to the beach? To tame the waves!
12. What’s a brown-haired person’s favorite dessert?
Brownie sundaes, of course! Naturally, you might say. This roast says the brown haired person’s favorite dessert are brownie sundaes.
This roast would be fun to use at a meal with the brown haired person in attendance. Especially if the dessert that’s served is not brownies.
And if what is served is the person’s favorite, you can still let the audience know why it’s the best choice for the brown haired person.
- What’s Emma’s favorite dessert? Brownie sundaes, of course!
- What dessert does Daniel, the brown-haired guy, crave? Brownie sundaes, of course!
13. Why does the successful brown-haired person love gardening?
Because it reminds them of how they started from the bottom.
The bottom here refers to the beginning of the brown haired person’s struggle. You might call it their roots. Since most plant roots are brown on account of the soil, hence the comparison to brown hair.
The humor of this funny roast will be more obvious if used outdoors while the brown haired person is out in their garden.
- Why did Rachel, the brown-haired woman, become a gardener? To remind herself of how she began from the bottom.
- Why did Ryan, the brown-haired guy, choose gardening? To remind him of the roots of his career!
14. What’s a brown-haired person’s favorite movie genre?
Bro-ir!
Did you catch the pun? Noir is a film genre that refers to films that are dark and cynical. According to this roast the brown haired person would prefer a genre of film called bro-ir.
This roast should be used if the person has peculiar tastes in films, one that is difficult to classify. It would be more humorous to use this roast right when the person is watching such a film.
- What’s Sarah’s favorite movie genre? Bro-ir!
- What movies does Alex, the brown-haired guy, love? Bro-ir!
15. Why was the brown-haired person always the best at math?
Because they could count on their roots!
Did you catch the pun already? You will find the humor when you remember that in math we are often required to find the square roots of numbers.
In this roast there are several puns on the word root. First it reminds you of the roots of hair. Also it can refer to the brown roots of plants.
All these meanings tie into why the brown haired person loves math. It can also refer to the person’s reserve of math knowledge.
- Why was Jessica, the brown-haired student, always the best at math? She could count on her roots!
- Why was Michael, the brown-haired mathematician, so skilled? He could count on his roots!
16. What’s a brown-haired person’s favorite holiday?
Groundhog Day – it’s all about the roots!
Groundhog day in the US is February 2, the day the groundhog comes out of hibernation.
It is said the groundhog goes back in his hole if it finds the weather is sunny only to try again in six weeks.
Usually a person is said to be having a groundhog day if their day is filled with tedium, from one moment to the other.
Again there is a pun on the brown soil of the ground, and the fact of coming out of the ground, the roots.
- What’s Emily’s favorite holiday? Groundhog Day – it’s all about the roots!
- What holiday does Tom, the brown-haired guy, look forward to? Groundhog Day – it’s all about the roots!
17. Why don’t brown-haired people get lost in the forest?
Because they’re always rooted in the right direction!
More puns and wordplay on the word root here. The forest is full of roots of all kinds and of different colors but mostly brown.
So why won’t a brown haired person get lost in the forest? Because he is practically with his family. They know him, he knows them. They’ll show him the way.
- Why don’t Amanda and her brown-haired friends get lost in the forest? They’re always rooted in the right direction!
- Why don’t Chris and his brown-haired buddies lose their way in the woods? They’re always rooted in the right direction!
18. What’s a brown-haired person’s favorite board game?
Brown-gammon!
This is a fun roast you can use anytime on a brown haired person who loves board games.
The roast is a wordplay on the game called backgammon, a two player board game like chess and the rest of them.
- What’s Lisa’s favorite board game? Brown-gammon!
- What game does David, the brown-haired guy, enjoy playing? Brown-gammon!
19. Why did the brown-haired person become a chef?
To whip up some root-tootin’ recipes!
As you can see, we aren’t letting up on the roots. In this funny roast we learn that the brown haired person only makes root-tooting recipes. All this is due to the person’s affinity for organic roots.
- Why did Michelle, the brown-haired chef, choose her career? To whip up some root-tootin’ recipes!
- Why did Jake, the brown-haired cook, pursue cooking? To whip up some root-tootin’ recipes!
20. What’s a brown-haired person’s favorite fairy tale?
Rapunzel – it’s all about the long brown hair!
In the story, Tangled, Rapunzel has brown hair. It is only natural that a brown haired girl would love the story. And that is the point of this funny roast. This roast is best used for a girl with long brown hair.
- What’s Laura’s favorite fairy tale? Rapunzel – it’s all about the long brown hair!
- What story does Brian, the brown-haired guy, enjoy reading? Rapunzel – it’s all about the long brown hair!
Final Thoughts
Brown haired folks are gorgeous. In this funny roast we take out time to poke fun at them. There is a funny roast on this list for any shade of brown haired person.
All you need to do is find one brown-haired person, and with a little knowledge of their quirks you can make them and everyone laugh.