Do you have a friend who’s bad at texting? Who always seems off with their words? Who always seems to misunderstand the vibe while texting?
Well, here’s your chance to address the issue with funny roasts. This friend may have a terrible attitude over texts, but they still manage to show up at hangouts.
Rather than being confrontational when addressing the issue with their texting attitude, we recommend a roast.
This article presents 20 funny roasts for a lighthearted banter.
1. Is your keyboard made of magnets? Because every time you type, all I see is negativity attracting
This roast implies that the person’s negative words are like magnets, attracting more negativity. This roast is imaginative, and the humor is in drawing attention to how the person’s keyboard is made of magnet.
It is related to how magnets have poles, the positive and negative.
- Your texts have a magnetic personality – they attract bad vibes effortlessly
- There are two poles on your keyboard, but you chose the negative.
2. I didn’t know I subscribed to the Sarcasm Daily newsletter until I started receiving your texts.
This roast suggests that too much sarcasm has its bad side, and that the person’s sarcastic comments are so frequent, it’s like a daily subscription.
The humor is in the comparison with a newsletter. Those letters can be annoying. We all have them in our emails.
- Your texts are like being subscribed to the Sarcasm Daily newsletter
- Your sarcasm game is so strong; I’m expecting a newsletter in my inbox every morning.
3. If bad moods were an Olympic sport, you’d definitely take home the gold. Congratulations on the grumpiness games!
The roast here compares the person’s bad mood to winning a gold medal in a fictional grumpiness competition. This roast is wild and bound to win you some laughs.
- You’ve mastered the art of grumpiness; I nominate you for the next Grumplympics.
- You’d win all the medals in a grumplympics.
4. I was going to send you a joke about your attitude, but I figured it would just get a ‘meh’ response.
This roast plays on the idea that the person’s attitude is so indifferent that it would elicit a ‘meh’ reaction.
This wild roast bodies the fiesta, effortlessly. The humor is in the meh response. It conjures in the mind, the facial expression of nothing giving a hoot.
- Your indifference is so powerful; it turned my enthusiasm into a ‘meh’ moment.
- I just imagined the meh expression on your face. So I didn’t bother to tell you the joke.
5. Your text tone is so high-pitched; I think only dogs can hear the level of annoyance.
This one humorously suggests that the negativity is so intense it’s like an annoying high-pitched sound.
Have you ever gotten that kind of text from a friend? The one that makes you feel like screaming for help?
- I didn’t know bad vibes had a frequency until I read your messages. It’s like a grumpy sonar ping.
6. I thought about sending you a positivity meme, but I was worried your device might reject it.
This roast jokes about the assumption that even autocorrect fears suggesting positive words to the person. It is that bad.
And this roast exposes the level of it. The humor is on the suggestion that the person’s phone might reject a positivity meme.
- Autocorrect has a nope, not fixing that negativity policy when it comes to your messages
7. I bet even autocorrect is afraid to suggest cheerful words when you’re texting.
This roast humorously suggests that the person’s text messages are so consistently negative that even autocorrect, which typically suggests corrections and improvements, avoids offering cheerful or positive word suggestions for fear of being rejected or overridden by the user’s negative language.
- Your texts are like a no-cheer zone. I tried typing ‘happy,’ but even autocorrect backed away, afraid to suggest cheerful words when you’re texting
- I attempted to add a positive spin to my message, but autocorrect must have sensed your anti-cheer aura.
8. If attitude were a currency, you’d be a millionaire. Too bad it’s in the currency of grumbles
This roast plays on the idea of “attitude” being a valuable quality, like currency. The punchline suggests that the person has a lot of attitude but, humorously, it’s in the form of “grumbles,” implying a negative or complaining attitude.
- Why are you always complaining about everything? Well, if attitude were a currency, I’d be a millionaire. Too bad it’s all in grumbles.
- If attitude could make you rich, you’d be rolling in it. Unfortunately, it’s all in the currency of grumbles.
9. I’m starting to think your phone’s predictive text is exclusively set to grouchy mode.
This roast humorously suggests that the person’s phone’s predictive text is generating responses with a consistently grumpy or grouchy tone.
The humor is in the claim that the predictive text is permanently set to grouchy mode.
- I think your phone’s predictive text is stuck in grouchy mode. It just defaults to grumpy responses
- Is your phone a grumble generator?
10. I asked Siri for advice on dealing with your attitude, and she just responded, Good luck.
This roast revolves around the idea that Siri, a virtual assistant known for its neutral and helpful responses, acknowledges the challenge of dealing with an AI’s attitude.
The humor lies in the unexpected and somewhat humorous response from Siri.
- Hey Siri, how do I handle Barry’s texting attitude? Siri: I’m sorry, I can’t assist with that. Good luck.
- Siri, what’s the best approach to Barry’s sassiness? Siri: I’m not equipped for that. Good luck.
11. Are you sponsored by the ‘Bad Vibes Only’ club, or is that just a personal branding choice?
This is a humorous phrase often used in a lighthearted way. The Bad Vibes Only concept plays on the common expression Good Vibes Only, suggesting a preference for negativity, which creates a playful and ironic tone.
- I only hang out with people from the Bad Vibes Only
12. Your texts have more drama than a soap opera. Can I expect a plot twist in the next episode?
This is a spin on drama and TV shows. The roast here is found in the drama the person’s text supposedly exudes.
Whether deliberately or not, it is impossible to get a text from this guy without feeling like there’s plot twist on the way.
- Bro, should I expect a twist somewhere in this drama?
- You have a way with words that got me thinking we’re both playing the full cast in a soap opera.
13. I didn’t know emojis had a ‘sigh’ setting until I saw your recent messages.
This roast is a wild and funny one. Apparently this person has been barraging you with messages that make you want to just exhale and look away. It’s the height of bad texting attitude.
But seeing as this person is your friend, all you can do is roast them. The fun part here is texting back to let the person know they’ve let you discover the sigh emoji, something you’ve never had to use.
- Did you know there’s a sigh emoji? Your annoying text made me check.
- I never used the sigh emoji, never even knew it existed. Until your message.
14. I showed your texts to my plant. It wilted. Even nature can’t handle your negativity.
This roast is not just funny, it’s also savage. It suggests that the texting of the person is so bad that even plants can’t stand the messages.
When delivering this roast through text, adding a laugh emoji makes it lighthearted.
- Do you know what happened to my house plants after reading your text? They wilted.
- Are the houseplants in your place still alive? Because the ones here wilted after reading your texts.
15. I tried sending you a virtual hug, but it bounced back as a ‘don’t touch me’ emoji.
In this funny roast, it is suggested that an electronic malfunction was caused by the bad text attitude of the recipient.
A virtual hug bounced back as a don’t-touch-me emoji. This roast is great for a gathering of buddies.
To deliver this roast, make sure to use the right tone and expression. It’s best to lead with a laugh or a funny joke about the person involved.
- You want to know what happened when I tried to reply to your bad text? It bounced back as a don’t touch me
- My virtual hug message bounced back as don’t touch me emoji. Why? Your bad messaging.
16. Your texting attitude is like a black hole—texts go in, and positivity never escapes.
This roast plays on the phenomenon in space called black hole. It is believed that when things go into black holes they don’t come out.
And that whatever goes in likely comes out in a different dimension. The person’s attitude is the black hole standing for the situation where there’s no hope that something positive comes out.
- What’s a black hole? Barry’s texting attitude. Texts go in, positivity never comes out.
- What’s Barry’s texting attitude and black holes have in common? Texts go in, no positivity comes out.
17. I’ve created a new game: count how many eye-rolling emojis appear in your texts. Spoiler: it’s a lot.
So in this roast, it is revealed that the person with the bad texting attitude is known to use the eye rolling emoji, bountifully.
The humor is in the suggestion that there’s a game for counting how many of these emojis appear in the person’s text.
- New game alert: count how many eye rolling emoji appear in Barry’s texts.
18. Your text mood is like a roller coaster – except it only has drops and no fun twists.
Sheesh! This roast slaps. The humor is found in the comparison between the bad texting attitude of the person with a rollercoaster.
Unlike a rollercoaster that has fun twists, the person’s texting attitude only has drops. There’s a play on drop here.
The drop here refers to the negativity of the person’s texting attitude.
- What’s the difference between Barry’s texting attitude and a rollercoaster? Barry’s texting attitude has no fun twists, only drops.
19. If I had a dollar for every time you texted with a bad attitude, I could retire and avoid your texts forever
This roast plays on the frequency of the bad texts. It plays on what happens when you have enough money: you retire from working.
Here’s the humor: reading the person’s text is compared to the drudgery of working a job.
- I’m not a millionaire yet. But I’ll be when I start getting paid a dollar for every time I read a depressing text from Barry.
20. I’m thinking of starting a support group for people who read your texts. The first rule: bring a sense of humor
The roast here is base on the custom of organizing support groups for people suffering from one form of trauma or the other.
It is suggested here that people who read this person’s text can only join the group if they have a sense of humor.
- Barry’s Texting Victims: that’s the name of the support group for his victims. It’s free for folks who have a sense of humor.
This article has been all about funny roasts for someone with a bad texting attitude. Feel free to improvise with the jokes here.
Every roast is not the same. But your roast will be funny if you deliver it well. Keeping the atmosphere lighthearted helps a lot.
Also, starting the roast with a funny introduction has been known to put the recipient at ease. Choose your words carefully so that you don’t unnecessarily become offensive.