There are various ways to tease or roast either your friend, sibling, or relative with long hair. However, the most important thing is to do so to induce laughter, and for fun only.
Roast that person with long hair who feels on top of the world with these light-hearted hair- larious jokes, one-liners, and witty comments.
Here are 20 Hilarious Roasts for Someone with Long Hair
- Is your hair a map? Because I keep getting lost in the curls.”
- You know how to keep your mouth off other people’s business but not your hair in other people’s food.
- More than enough “hair” in my lungs already.
- Your hair is so long, I thought you were the ‘mane’ attraction at the circus.
- Your hair has no voice if not you should have heard it screaming for help
- Your hair is so luscious; I bet even the birds want to nest in it – free accommodation with every strand
- Long hair and drama
- I bet your morning routine involves more strategic planning than a military operation
- I wish you were different from your hair. You wouldn’t have to look up to anyone
- Long hair and tardiness
- Your hair is a reflection of you
- Surprise date nights? Count a long-haired person out. They are always in between hair length
- With this much hair, if you play around fire sweating will be your least problem
- Jane, what’s your worst nightmare? Never mind, your hair!
- I wish I had your hair but a lot has been pulling me down these days
- 12 years of age you say? Well, your hair says otherwise
- I heard Rapunzel called. She wants her back
- I’d love to give a messy joke but you’re one already
- …Hair comes trouble
- Each dollar every time your hair obstructs my view- I’d have been a millionaire in dollars by now
Is your hair a map? Because I keep getting lost in the curls.”
This is a playful tease and you can use it to roast your sister when she asks you to help her comb her hair.
The humour implies that combing through her curls just keeps you confused the more and you are nowhere closer to the root of her thick forest.
Here are some examples:
- Your hair is like a GPS for confusion – one wrong turn, and I end up in the land of lost bobby pins.
- Your hair is like a tunnel, the more I comb the deeper it takes me in.
You know how to keep your mouth off other people’s business but not your hair in other people’s food
If you have a pompous elder sister who feels she is better off than anyone because of her long hair, you know how to keep your mouth off other people’s business but not your hair in other people’s food” is a suitable roast for her.
Start by saying:
- Close the window to prevent the strong wind from blowing our sister everywhere.
- Can you tie a scarf around your hair? We have more hair in our food than spices
More than enough “hair” in my lungs already
Do you have a friend who has long and unkempt hair? This roast is for him. Long hair can be stressful to put together in a bun or knot and they are capable of being everywhere in a windy atmosphere.
There is a wordplay too here; “I have more than enough “hair” in my lungs already. The hair is a wordplay on “air”. So instead of saying, the air in my lungs, you say “hair in my lungs to roast your friend.
Check these examples here:
- It’s kinda windy out here. Can you put your hair in order? I have more than enough “hair” in my lungs already.
- Okay, time to go. I have breathed in enough hair for the day.
Your hair is so long, I thought you were the ‘mane’ attraction at the circus
This is such a witty statement that when being said to someone with long hair such a person might first see it as a compliment.
But on a more comprehensive look, it is a roast for someone with long hair with a play on “mane” to mean “main”.
Mane here is indirectly comparing your friend’s long hair to that of a horse’s own while making it sound like “main”. Use this roast for your friend with long hair especially when he is the shy type and anti-social.
Here are some examples to help you deliver your roast perfectly:
- You stole the show last night. All thanks to your golden mane.
- With your long hair in the picture, it didn’t take two minutes for you to become the talk of the circus.
Your hair has no voice if not you should have heard it screaming for help
We all know that aside from the pride people take in having long hair, what they wouldn’t tell the public is how inconvenient and uncomfortable their long hair makes them feel.
Tell someone with long hair sarcastically that you understand the trouble they go through maintaining long hair with the sweet roast.
You can start playfully by making your spectators believe that you heard something funny happened to them;
- I heard your hair got stuck in the elevator and it nearly got pulled from your head.
- I was told you were at the attachment company last week for a hair donation. Guess you eventually agree that it’s useless.
Your hair is so luscious; I bet even the birds want to nest in it – free accommodation with every strand
“Your hair is so luscious; I bet even the birds want to nest in it – free accommodation with every strand” is another way to roast someone with long hair.
This unlike others on the list is to tease such people and even make them laugh.
Here is an example:
- Your hair is so wild; I’m starting to believe a squirrel is nesting in there.
“Long hair and drama”
Short people are not the only dramatic folks we have on earth. People with long hair have a lot of drama to unfold; from combing, to packing and unpacking, swerving right and left, pinning and even styling their hair, people with long hair are dramatic when it comes to maintaining their hair.
Deliver your roast like a pro like this:
- We need no drama to watch, your hair is a terrific scene.
- The only tragi-comedy here is your hair.
I bet your morning routine involves more strategic planning than a military operation
As earlier stated, people with long hair have complicated routines to follow to keep their hair in place.
From washing routine to hairstyling, which is a form of time wasting. Tease your friend with long hair with this roast but be sure you mildly do that.
Here is a suitable way to say your roast:
- I don’t know which is more strategic; detangling your hair or deactivating a bomb.
- I was told you always go through an “operation detangling” every morning.
I wish you were different from your hair. You wouldn’t have to look up to anyone
Here is a roast for a self-conscious or low self-esteem friend and can be said when he tries to belittle you in the presence of everyone.
Smile confidently use this great comeback on him and watch this comeback send him into silence.
- Your hair is tall and proud but you say the opposite.
- Your hair looks up to no one but you wish you were every other person but you.
Long hair and tardiness
This is a fact that people with long hair are usually not on time because of the much drama they go through with their hair.
If you have a colleague or friend who has long hair and likes to come late, roast him by beginning a rhetorical question only you will answer.
For instance:
- Why are people with long hair always late for work? They get lost in the eternal struggle of detangling and hairstyling.
- If the church were in your house you would still be late for service.
Your hair is a reflection of you
Also in this roast is some truth about people with long hair. People with long hair are known for their unkempt look and untidy appearance.
This roast is very witty in the sense that you do not need to call the person insulting words before they get the hint of what you are implying.
For example, you can roast someone who keeps long and unkempt hair by saying “Show me your hair and I will tell you who you are”.
Here is another example:
- Your hair speaks more about your dirty hygiene.
Surprise date nights? Count a long-haired person out. They are always in between hair length
This roast is harmless and can be directed to your friend’s girlfriend only that in this context your friend is the one with long hair.
Be sure you have a good relationship with your friend’s girlfriend so that she will see the joke in what you said.
Tease your friend’s girlfriend like this:
- Long-haired people never make it to surprise dates. They are always between hair lengths.
- If the restaurants were in the country of people with long hair, they would have gone bankrupt.
With this much hair, if you play around fire, sweating will be your least problem
If you have a troublesome younger sibling who tries to get you jealous with her long hair, roast her playfully with this savage come back, and show her the big sis that you are.
This is indirectly telling them about their hair insecurity and how it prevents them from being who they are.
- Why do people with long hair don’t do sand castles or snow packing? Because they worry more about their hair than the fun they would have.
- Yes, you have longer hair than me but Mother never not have my movement watched.
Jane, what’s your worst nightmare? Never mind, your hair.
This is another way to roast someone with long hair. This explains the fear that people with long hair have.
They are always scared and insecure about how they look, and how to properly care for their hair.
Roast your friend playfully with this statement:
- While ghosts are our worst nightmare, Jane’s nightmare is her hair.
I wish I had your hair but a lot has been pulling me down these days
This is a sarcastic one-liner and a great response to use to someone especially one who wants to spite you with their long hair. Savage and defeat such a person with this great comeback.
Here is how to use it:
- As light as your hair can be, coveting it is a heavy burden on me.
24 years of age you say? Well, your hair says otherwise
Use this roast for someone whose long hair makes him look older than his age. This roast is a playful one and capable of bringing out chuckles from the guys in a hangout.
Here is an example:
- With your long hair, one would mistake you for a 90-year-old grandpa.
I heard Rapunzel called. She wants her hair back
This is a playful roast to tease someone with long hair. It refers to Rapunzel the fictional character who is known for her long hair. Roast your friend with this exaggerated expression.
- I’m sure Rapunzel is jealous of you right now.
- Rapunzel just mailed; she needs hair care tips from you.
I’d love to give a messy joke but you’re one already
“I’d love to give a messy joke but you’re one already” is another sleek way to roast someone with long hair.
This roast is used to indirectly tell someone they have a clumsy personality judging from their hair. Use this and be certain to get the person red in the face.
- No need for dirty jokes. You are one already.
- I’d love to describe what clumsy is then I remember you fit into the description.
…Hair comes trouble
Use this funny roast for your long-time friend who suddenly appears out of the blue. There is a wordplay on hair to denote ‘here’.
You can start with the pun by spreading your hands upon sighting your friend with long hair then smile and say:
- “Hair” comes trouble!
Each dollar every time your hair obstructs my view- I’d have been a millionaire in dollars by now
Memorize this last roast on the list and use it for that friend of yours with long hair. This indirectly tells your displeasure of how they had intruded and obstructed your 3D view when they were with you.
Deliver the roast like a pro in this manner:
- I bet your hair has its WiFi signal- the only explanation for its constant presence.
Summary
The way you deliver your roast shows the effectiveness of the roast which is to do one thing- To make your audience happy and laugh.
I have provided you in this article, instances of the best mode of delivery, and if followed to the core, be sure to receive great results and feedback.
Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comment section, also share your roast ideas too.