The best punchlines to roast Cowboy fans are not those popular ones you read on forums in the comment section of a Cowboy loyalist.
Apart from them now being cliche, Cowboy fans have now found impressive comebacks to many of those popular roasts.
So I’ve dedicated enough time to come up with twenty unique and really sassy lines you can tell a Cowboy fan to hit the nerve.
If you’re looking to piss off or tease a cowboy fan, this article is for you.
List of 20 Best Roasts for Cowboy Fans
In all fairness, it’s pretty challenging to roast the cowboy team.
They’ve got a proven winner at HC, the best QB in the division, a highly-touted and highly-paid RB, and a defence that plays very well when it’s clicking.
But it’s their turn to be joked about, too.
Trust me. I’m also tired of the same old materials – 28-3, throwing on the one-yard line, big Ben rapist, and even one-yard short.
Here, you’ll find new ways to roast the Cowboy team loyalists
1. “Is it true the Cowboys’ playbook is just a list of excuses?”
Say Cowboys always have reasons (excuses) for not doing as well as everyone expects them to.
For a Cowboys fan, it’s like you’re pointing out that their team might not always live up to the hype. And that’s the kind of remark that might get under their skin in a fun, teasing way.
- I heard the Cowboys’ playbook is just a collection of ‘oops, my bad’ notes. True or false?
- Is it true the Cowboys’ playbook reads more like a list of ‘why we didn’t win’ than actual game plans?
2. “Cowboys will need a team psychologist to help deal with ‘postseason stress disorder.'”
Pointing out a supposed weakness is a low blow. The Cowboys have a history of struggling in the playoffs, falling short of expectations.
Your comment suggests they’re so stressed during the postseason that they need a psychologist as if playing in big games is mentally taxing for them.
- “Did you hear? The Cowboys got a new team therapist for their playoff nerves!”
- “Guess what? Cowboys hired a shrink to handle their postseason jitters!”
3. “Do the Cowboys have a team prayer? Because they might need divine intervention.”
Well, it’s not just poking fun at the Cowboys’ performance; it’s teasing that things are so rough they might need a miracle to turn things around.
For a devoted fan, it’s a bit like saying it’s a lighthearted dig that hits where it hurts – in the pride of the team and the fans.
- “Do the Cowboys pray for touchdowns? They might need a direct line to the football gods.”
4. “Why did the Cowboys bring a ladder to the game? To reach the playoffs!”
Highlight the team’s struggle to reach the postseason. The ladder symbolises a desperate attempt to fix something that’s been a problem for a while.
So, for a Cowboys fan, it’s a bit of a friendly tease that hits a sore spot. It’s all in good fun, but it stings a little because, deep down, every fan wants their team to succeed without needing any extra help, especially not a ladder!
- Why did the Cowboys take a ladder to the game? Because they needed a boost to reach the playoffs
5. “It was when I met a Cowboys fan that I knew ‘Super Bowl’ as a type of cereal”
Mock their team’s success. You’re basically suggesting that, to a Cowboys fan, winning Super Bowls is as common as having a bowl of cereal for breakfast—like it happens all the time.
But, in reality, the Super Bowl is a massive, highly anticipated event in football, not just some everyday thing like cereal.
It’s all in good fun, but for a passionate Cowboys fan, it might feel like you’re downplaying the significance of their team’s achievements.
- “To a Cowboys fan, the Super Bowl isn’t cereal; it’s the gourmet meal they serve on the silver platter of victory.”
6. “The iPod was invented, sold millions, discontinued since Cowboys last Super Bowl win..”
Use this classic line to compare their win with Apple’s invention. The roast is that it’s been so long since the Cowboys won a Super Bowl that even the iPod, which feels kind of old now, had its rise and fall in popularity during that time.
So, if you’re a Cowboys fan, it might feel like someone’s giving you a good-natured ribbing about your team’s success – or lack thereof – in recent years.
- The iPod came and went, sold like crazy, and took a bow – all while the Cowboys were still waiting for their next Super Bowl win!
7. “The Cowboys’ favourite exercise has to be playoff exit.”
Imply, the team is so used to leaving the playoffs early that it’s become like a regular workout for them. It’s a playful tease, suggesting the Cowboys are more familiar with the disappointment of getting knocked out of the playoffs than they are with winning.
- The Cowboys probably have a gold medal in playoff exits, considering how often they hit the exit door before the championship dance.”
8. “A charity named ‘Hope for the Postseason.’ would really help the Cowboy fans right now”
It’s a joke on the fact that the team hasn’t been doing excellent in the postseason recently. It’s funny, but it also reminds them of their team’s struggles, which might make them a bit annoyed or frustrated.
People can be sensitive about their sports teams, so this kind of joke might hit a nerve.
- “I’m starting a charity for Cowboys fans – it’s called ‘Playoff Dreams Boost.'”
- “Thinking of a charity for Cowboys fans – ‘Postseason Optimism Society’ is in the works.”
9. “No matter how shitty your fan base is, you can always say “at least we’re not cowboy fans.”
Slyly suggests that even if other teams have rowdy fans, being a Cowboys fan is a whole different level of intensity.
This line is like a teasing wink that hits a nerve, making Cowboys fans simultaneously annoyed and kind of impressed by the clever dig.
- Even if our fans are annoying, at least we’re not cheering for the Cowboys
- Our fan base may have its quirks, but hey, we’re not in Cowboys territory.
10. “Cowboys fans not living Texas is the only silver lining”
Being a Cowboys fan in Texas is a huge deal – it’s like loving BBQ or wearing cowboy hats.
So, saying the only good part about them is that they’re not in Texas is like saying their fandom is the one tiny good thing in a desert of disappointment.
Telling them the best thing about Cowboys fans is being away from Texas is like challenging something they hold dear – it’s sure to get a strong reaction!
- The best thing about Cowboys fans is they don’t live in Texas
11. “I thought about joking on Cowboys’ defence, but that’s already a joke”
Now, for a passionate Cowboys fan, this comment is like poking fun at something they really care about.
It’s not just about making a joke – it’s like saying their favourite team’s defence is so terrible that not even the funniest person can come up with a good joke about it.
12. “What’s the Cowboys’ favourite time of the year? Regular season – it’s the only time they
shine.”
For a Cowboys fan who’s hoping for their team to win big in the playoffs and maybe even the Super Bowl, hearing this joke would be like saying, “Yeah, your team is good when it doesn’t count for much, but when it really matters, not so much.”
It’s a playful way of poking fun at the team’s history of not doing as well in the postseason, turning their excitement into a bit of disappointment.
- Why do the Cowboys love the regular season? It’s their time to sparkle—postseason, not so much!”
13. “I asked a Cowboys fan how many Super Bowls they’ve won recently. They said, ‘Define recently.'”
You may not have asked anybody, but this is a burn roasting! Your innocent question turns into a playful dig, leaving them caught between defending their team and acknowledging the lack of recent success.
It’s a bit of verbal gymnastics that adds a fun twist to the conversation.
14. “That giant screen only plays Cowboy games, poor thing.”
Instead of showing a mix of extraordinary football moments from different teams, this screen is like a Cowboy Team exclusive party.
It only plays games where the Cowboys win. Every. Single. Time. It’s like having a favourite song on repeat, but you can’t change it.
- “That stadium’s big screen? It’s like a Cowboy Team echo chamber – only plays their wins on a loop!”
- “The worst part? That massive screen’s a Cowboy Team solo act. It’s stuck on replay, and the rest of the NFL’s left out in the cold!”
15. “Why did the Cowboys fan bring a ladder to the bar? They heard the drinks were on the house.”
I suggest that the fan needs that ladder because their team is stuck on the upper floor of achievements, not at the top. The roast lies in poking fun at the Cowboys’ success, making it sound like they’re not quite reaching the championship level.
- “Why did the Cowboys fan take a stool to the bar? Heard they needed a lift for their team’s spirits!”
16. “Cowboys don’t have a bakery but why are they always kneading dough?”
Remind the fans that the Cowboys are struggling or not doing well in their games. The roast comes from the unexpected mix of baking and football, and it’s a light-hearted way of teasing the team’s performance.
It’s not meant to be mean, just a playful jab that might get a laugh or a reaction from a fan.
- “Didn’t know Cowboys had a bakery. Oh, they don’t? Must be because they’re always in ‘dough-kneading’ mode on the field!”
17. “What do the Cowboys and Texas power grid both have in common? They both shit the bed in January.”
Compare their performance to the Texas power grid problem during winter. It’s a clever and funny jab that connects the Cowboys’ potential January struggles to the statewide power issues.
It’s all in good fun, but it’s designed to tease and stir up a bit of friendly banter playfully.
- “Why are the Cowboys and the Texas power grid alike in January? They both mess up big time when it matters.”
- “Ever notice the Cowboys and the Texas power grid share a January curse? Both tend to flop when you least expect it.”
18. “More people score at a country concert than Cowboys score at football.”
Remind them that the Cowboys aren’t scoring much, and people are having more fun at concerts. So, it’s a playful way of poking fun at the team’s performance, suggesting they’re not doing as well as the lively atmosphere of a country concert.
- “More folks are dancing at a country gig than Cowboys are scoring touchdowns – it’s a toe-tapping truth!”
19. “Cowboys fans bring a pencil to the game just to draw up a winning strategy.”
You see, the dig here is that the Cowboys haven’t been winning much lately. By saying they need a pencil to come up with a winning plan, it’s like saying their strategies are so outdated or ineffective that they’re stuck scribbling on paper like it’s the Wild West.
It’s a playful jab, but it cuts deep.
- Just in case we need to sketch out a win – it’s been a minute.”
- “Gotta draw up a winning plan today – been a while since we’ve seen one!”
20. “I asked a Cowboys fan if they believed in miracles. They said, ‘Only if it involves making the playoffs.'”
For a true Cowboys fan, winning the Super Bowl is the ultimate goal. Saying their only miracle is making the playoffs kind of mocks their grand aspirations.