A masochist is someone who derives pleasure from experiencing pain, humiliation, or emotional distress. In other words, they enjoy being treated badly.
This can manifest in a variety of ways, such as seeking out situations where they will be insulted or abused, seeking out relationships where they will be mistreated, or purposely engaging in activities that cause them distress.
This article consists of sarcasm, puns, and mind-shaking insults you can use to insult a masochist.
Here are 20 Insults for Someone Who is a Masochist
- We know why your father enrolled you in a jujutsu class, it was time you learned how to hurt another person.
- A new product called “Heartbreak” is being sold down the block, guess who was the first customer?
- I attended a WHO symposium titled “Evidence that crying makes u blind. I almost shouted I have a test subject.
- Whenever I want to cry, you are the first person I remember to call on my speed dial.
- I was asked to give an example of being helpless, I said being helpless is when you are more scared of truth than dare in a T&D game
- I love farting when I am on the bus with you, because when people see you they just sigh and open the window.
- Your wife told my wife that she stopped going out with you because she was tired of being called the husband.
- I heard a rumor that an unknown person here got his scholarship suspended. Don’t lie, what did you do this time?
- Hickeys are common, but with the frequency of your black eye, I almost thought it was fashion or a love language.
- I mistake your name lucky for unlucky, for the same reason your dad does every time you lie you won’t come home hurt
- If Pain was a free bucket of vanilla ice cream, I know who would be caught stealing another bucket.
- You are like a boomerang, whenever you are thrown towards comfort you always find your way back to pain.
- I was told not to laugh no matter what I heard or else I would lose my internet for one month, then they mentioned your name, and I immediately posted “See you next month”.
- I can’t take you to the beach party because you are a sponge for pain that is the only thing you enjoy absorbing.
- You are supposed to be the face of the company but you are like a magnet of insults, they keep getting pulled in everywhere u go.
- If Comfort was a man in a suit visiting the crib, you would be the first to run and keep screaming IRS.
- I heard you traded your comfort for a reason that got you detention for the whole school year.
- The way you talk confidently when defending yourself looks like getting in trouble gives you more self-esteem.
- You fail the simplest of courses but if finding pain is y! You are better than a Ph.D. holder in calculus.
- You get more bruises by the day for a behind-the-desk worker, is Connor McGregor your boss?
We know why your father enrolled you in a jiu-jitsu class, it was time you learned how to hurt another person
If you have a friend who is a masochist you can employ this insult to defeat them, because a masochist always has pain or inconvenience directed to themselves only, but in a martial art class like jujutsu, the point of the lessons taught there is to be able to defend yourself and by self-defense lay some hurt on aggressors.
Wear a little smile when delivering this insult:
- Now that you want to continue the Bruce Lee legacy I hope you kick every butt apart from your own.
- Congratulations, only your fists and feet are allowed to suffer.
A new product called “Heartbreak” is being sold down the block, guess who was the first customer?
This insult can be cleverly employed when you have a friend or sibling who loves to be with people who don’t want them back the same way they do, you can insult them ironically and the witty ones will understand immediately.
Make sure you are not too serious when you deliver this insult:
- Even if she was a happiness product make sure you have strong insurance
I attended a WHO symposium titled “Evidence that crying makes u blind” I almost shouted, “I have a test subject”
When your opponent is a crybaby, especially when they are hurt by mistakes you thought they would have learned from. This is the perfect insult for them.
Try not to laugh when delivering this insult:
- With the way you shed tears always, your eyes are the first part of your body that will grow old
- I don’t know which is more annoying, the way you sob or the sound of mosquitoes
Whenever I want to cry, you are the first person I remember to call on my speed dial.
This is a perfect insult for an opponent who is very emotional and always does what makes him cry.
If that opponent is a close friend who always divulges their secrets to you, especially when you are the listening type, you can use this as an added advantage and mercilessly rip them apart.
Deliver your insult this way:
- My girlfriend said I am not emotional, that I don’t cry on sensitive matters, that is why I immortalized you on my speed dial
I was asked to give an example of being helpless, I said being helpless is when you are more scared of truth than dare in a T&D game.
People are quick to choose truth because of how tasking Dare often is, but a masochist would be terrified to choose truth especially one who has secrets that are meant to be kept in the dark, deliver this insult for such an opponent.
Deliver your insult like a pro like this:
- You look happy today, don’t worry we won’t play truth and dare just because of you.
I love farting when I am on the bus with you because when they see you, they just sigh and open the window
When your opponent is a known nuisance, who does inappropriate things in public, this is a perfect insult for such an opponent. Try not to laugh when delivering this insult:
- I was the one who wrote “change your creepy scarf” on the principal’s car but it is no surprise you got the detention for it
Your wife told my wife she stopped going out with you because she was tired of being called the husband.
A wife can be hilariously referred to as the husband in situations where the wife takes up duties that should be carried out by the man of the house for example carrying the heavy stuff, protecting the family, and defending one’s partner’s honor. This is the perfect insult for such type of husband
Look serious when delivering this insult:
- I am giving you five door locks for this year’s birthday gift so that Junior can be the only person who hides under the table from now on
I heard a rumor that an unknown person here got his scholarship suspended. Don’t lie, what did you do this time?
This insult can be employed when you have a troublesome friend who is always going to be in trouble and crucified publicly.
They might have made efforts to stay out of trouble, but their past always catches up with them so often you know specifically that this is their type of offense to commit and who the culprit is.
Deliver your insult this way:
- When the school’s alarm system went on I was like “Brad what have you done again”
Hickeys are common, but with the frequency of your black eye, I almost thought it was fashion or a love language.
This insult can be used for a friend or sibling who is in a toxic relationship to jokingly remind them of the toxicity they revel in.
Make sure you are not too serious when delivering this insult:
- You love getting hickeys in the dark is the only explanation for the constant spot on your face.
I mistake your name lucky for unlucky, for the same reason your dad does every time you lie you won’t come home hurt.
This insult can be used for a person whose attitude of always picking a fight is already a common thing. You can deliver this insult to remind them of the travails they love experiencing.
Deliver your insult this way:
- The only reason I call you unlucky is because it sounds badass like a Marvel villain
- Calling you unlucky made you notoriously popular than your cheap fights
If Pain was a free bucket of vanilla ice cream, I know who would be caught stealing another bucket.
This insult can be used for a friend who is greedy for things that will cause them pain and it can be used in this manner to make it less serious.
Wear a little smile when delivering this insult:
- I always forget you are 30 because posting “free ice cream” on Twitter is the only thing that brings you to therapy.
You are like a boomerang, whenever you are thrown toward comfort you always find your way back to pain.
A masochist can promise to change but most times they come back to do the same thing that causes them pain, this insult is a bang in the head for such a person.
Deliver your insult this way:
- You are a retired politician who always gets caught with the perfect lie.
I was told not to laugh no matter what I heard or else I would lose my internet for one month, then they mentioned your name, and I immediately posted “See you next month”
When you have a friend who is a laughing stock and he is so notorious that when you hear anything about him it is either laughable or sad but still laughable. This can be an epic comeback to a mate, especially in a situation where he is winning.
Deliver your insult like a pro like this:
- Only your name can send a person back to 1888 if it is rightly utilized.
I can’t take you to the beach party because you are a sponge for pain that is the only thing you enjoy absorbing.
This is a figurative comparison between the characteristics of a sponge and a masochist’s own, this will be a good insult that can be best served with a little smile on your face
Try not to laugh when delivering this insult:
- Between you and a kitchen sponge, I don’t know which absorbs dirt the most.
You are supposed to be the face of the company but you are like a magnet of insults, they keep getting pulled in everywhere u go
A magnet automatically attracts iron or steel, so does a masochist attract insults for specific reasons all the time, this is a good insult that leaves the recipient in suspense but leaves them in total misery at the end of the delivery
Look away when delivering this insult:
- The only time you become active in a dialogue is when the Conversation has a potential ridicule at the ready
If Comfort was a man in a suit visiting the crib, you would be the first to run and keep screaming IRS.
Internal Revenue Service, are nightmares of tax offenders, this insult jokingly implies that if comfort should come as a gentleman, a masochist will still think it is an official of the IRS
Wear a little smile when delivering this insult:
- The way men in suits make you hurt yourself trying to escape are you an immigrant or a tax offender
- I heard you keep all your cash on you, are you trying to run from civilization or the IRS?
I heard you traded your comfort for a reason that got you detention for the whole school year.
This insult can be employed when you want to insult a person who makes stupid decisions because of clout. This insult is ice cold if you have a friend like that. Deliver your insult this way:
- I know you are so eager to graduate, but every week detention is going to make sure you do much faster
The way you talk confidently when defending yourself looks like getting in trouble gives you more self-esteem.
It is a common thing when people argue or fight they want to win and they are willing to be a sudden lawyer for their case especially when they see that they are losing.
This insult is for an individual who is only outspoken when he is angry or fighting with another person, this is the perfect insult to keep them quiet.
Deliver your insult this way:
- Your Dad saw you argue yesterday, the expression on his face looks like he was proud of you for the first time
You fail the simplest of courses but if finding pain is y! You are better than a PhD holder in calculus.
This is a situation where the person in question might be bad at everything their contemporaries are good at, but when it comes to hurting themselves it comes easy, they are natural, they just have to do them and things will fall apart.
Therefore this insult is for a person who tries to be good at other things, but the only thing they are good at is attracting ridicule, blame, and hurt.
Wear a little smile when delivering this insult:
- It is a new day, Doctor Disaster is about to surprise us
You get more bruises by the day for a behind-the-desk worker, is Connor McGregor your boss?
When you have an opponent who is quick to get angry, and in a situation where people will see diplomacy, they will always fist fights.
This is the perfect insult for such a troublemaker who always causes trouble even in a place where it is less expected to find one.
Look serious when delivering this insult:
- I know being a lawyer involves using ADR but I didn’t know that UFC is also a dispute resolution.