Snitches get stitches, but snitch’s actions have far-reaching consequences.
A snitch may think they’re doing the right thing, but the damage they cause can be devastating.
Snitching may seem harmless, but it can have catastrophic results, causing harm to innocent people and undermining trust in society.
Snitches can be manipulative and self-serving, acting more for their gain than for the good of others. They can destroy lives and relationships and sow discord and mistrust.
If you are looking for funny, lighthearted jokes to roast your friend, relative, or sibling who snitches, this article is for you.
Here are 25 funny ways to roast someone who snitched on you.
- Only a rat could do worse damage than you already did.
- We are still friends but all I will tell you and you won’t tell anyone is my nightmares.
- I would rather just scream into the mic than tell you secrets.
- What chapter of the book “Don’t tell anyone” do you understand?
- You look very happy, who did you tell on this time?
- Secrets are a heavy burden for you, you feel free after exposing them.
- Immediately you step in the room all secrets run for their dare lives.
- If I want to torture you I will tell you a secret.
- If you worked in a company where secrets are kept, you will be fired the next day.
- If I want to tell everyone a secret, I will just go ahead and tell you.
- I heard holding up secrets inside, could eat you up
- Anytime you have a stomach ache, there is a secret you are yet to spill.
- You normally lose sleep, and pray for daybreak so that you can tell a secret.
- I appreciate the explicit detective work you did, you didn’t miss a line.
- I am sure you don’t have any secrets you might have leaked them.
- If snitching has levels you had to be an expert
- When you have a friend who is so watchful, who needs enemies?
- The bit where we signed up for your live reality TV show must have slipped me.
- A secret is supposed to be between two people, but you represent the universe.
- Your alias should be “Snitch” Ladies and gentlemen I give you the snitch.
- Apparently, you missed the notice that “snitches get stitches”
- If PlayStation were to add snitch or switch to their game list, don’t know a better customer than you
- If you are to have a nightmare most people scream Jesus, all you scream is ” I will tell’
- Buddy you leak so much, that the FBI ought to award you with a badge
- Friend you reek of gossip, who did you tell on this time?
1. Only a rat could do worse damage than you already did
It is commonly believed that rats are impulsive evacuees, having fled burning buildings or sinking ships, giving the impression of abandonment.
This is also a similar characteristic of a snitch, they abandon you after telling on you.
Roast your friend who is a snitch in this manner:
- Your closest companion is a garbage can because you are a snitch.
2. We are still friends but all I will tell you and you won’t tell anyone is my nightmares.
The only thing you tell a snitch and they won’t tell a soul is something everyone knows, something that is not worth a gist, something you won’t consider a secret.
They tend to remind you where you stopped, assuming you got distracted while saying something that could be called a secret.
With a smile on your face roast a snitch who is attentive and hoping to uncover a secret.
- People are afraid of your smile because you are a snitch.
3. I would rather just scream into the mic than tell you secrets.
Telling a snitch a secret is a waste of time. Soon your secret will be everywhere.
Deliver your road this way for a snitch:
- I heard keeping a secret for 1 second made you depressed.
4. What chapter of the book “Don’t tell anyone” do you understand?
Snitch loves to hear the word “Don’t Tell Anyone”.
Immediately that word is added to a conversation it becomes a secret, and you can see them smile and be happy, having that feeling of accomplishment.
Now all they need is someone who needs to listen to a secret, they are the best supplier of raw gossip.
- If you have amnesia, you will remember there is a secret left to tell.
5. You look very happy, who did you tell on this time?
A snitch feels fulfilled after telling a secret as secrets are what motivate their detective work.
They are always motivated to be the first to talk about someone after promising, not to say a word to a soul.
Deliver your roast this way:
- The only mission, why you are on earth is to tell people secrets, till the end of time.
6. Secrets are a heavy burden for you, you feel free after exposing them.
A snitch can keep a secret with total discomfort for a short time and till it is over, they will not be themselves.
They might look sick and tired all because of the weight of the secret they are keeping.
Roast a friend who seems sad when he has yet to leak a secret.
- You had preferred to leak a secret than have, a business discussion with Elon Musk
7. Immediately you step in the room all secrets run for their lives.
There is this friend who brings along silence anytime he or she steps into a room of people, talking freely, you know your friend than to say too much.
The only thing that can help right now is silence or discussing something general, something not worth telling on.
- Immediately you stepped into the room I had to swallow my secret, and then I forgot I had one.
8. If I want to torture you I will tell you a secret.
If I want my friend the snitch to feel sick without any ailment, or feel down without being depressed, I will tell him a secret and tell him, not to tell anyone.
To make the situation more serious I can follow him around for a while, ensuring he won’t say a word and his day will come to an end, all because he couldn’t tell on you.
Roast your friend who can’t keep shut:
- The last time you kept quiet for 5 seconds you thought it was the end of the world.
9. If you worked in a company where secrets are kept, you will be fired the next day.
Anything that deals with keeping secrets, is poison for a snitch, as that is not his calling.
They derive joy from talking and switching sides. A snitch could be your friend when you have enough but snitch on you when it is not.
Using this statement roast a snitch for his sneaky attitude:
- Rats have a lot to learn from your sneaky behavior, as bad as they can be.
10. If I want to tell everyone a secret, I will just go ahead and tell you.
A snitch has the most favorable conditions to exploit you, get your secret, and tell on you.
They have listening ears to listen to every line, and they have understanding brains to picture it perfectly even if your description is not.
Roast your friend who is a public address system:
- If tomorrow is my birthday, and I want to invite everyone, all I have to do is tell you it is a secret.
11. I heard holding up secrets inside could eat you up.
The only thing capable of making a snitch purge is secrets, the urge to tell is always there, and the more they ain’t taking the more the pressure to explode turns into torture.
Secrets eat them up from the inside, it is acidic to them and their health is so important to them, that’s why they can’t keep secrets down without telling.
Roast your snitch friend who has never kept a secret:
- I heard you had an ulcer, what secret did you deep down for a second to start the burn?
12. Anytime you have a stomach ache, there is a secret you are yet to spill.
This is a hilarious statement laced with exaggeration. It means snitches keep their minds on a secret they are yet to tell.
They ruminate over it because everyone knows them to talk and snitch. And again, their primary nature won’t allow them to keep a secret like they always promise to, that way they prevent themselves from stomach ache, heartache.
Roast your friend who is scared of not telling a secret:
- Anytime you are hungry and I hear sounds from your stomach, I understand your stomach is secret intolerant and can’t digest them.
13. You normally lose sleep, and pray for daybreak so that you can tell a secret.
When a snitch hasn’t leaked secrets in weeks, they become unstable and unhappy, and immediately they lay their hands on one, they can’t wait for daybreak to redeem themselves in front of everyone as the number one secret finder.
Roast a friend who normally loses sleep over a secret they just stumbled on:
- No amount of money in this world can give you more joy than leaking secrets.
14. I appreciate the explicit detective work you did, you didn’t miss a line.
Having a snitch around can be frustrating. You make just one mistake and your story will make the headline.
Also, a snitch has the talent of linking dots in an incomplete gist. You give them fragments, they provide a whole gist.
Roast your friend whose favorite hobby is snitching:
- Is it through your middle name is “Snitch”
15. I am sure you don’t have any secrets you might have leaked them.
Snitches don’t have exemptions in leaking secrets, including theirs, they tell you their plans and what they are up to.
They are conversation starters and they will keep you entertained, for as long as you are with them, the only time they stop talking is when they are out of secrets.
Roast your snitch friend who has no secret:
- If you are an angel, you will snitch on God.
16. If snitching has levels you have to be an expert.
Whatever makes you an expert shows you are the best at that thing.
Being best at snitching shows you know all the rules, laws, and guiding snitching. It also means snitching is your hobby, and with all these, you are the perfect man for the job.
- The last time you tried to stop snitching, you snitched on yourself.
17. When you have a friend who is so watchful, who needs enemies?
This is an ironic way of saying, be careful of close friends who snitch on you about your plan to external bodies.
Friends don’t snitch, friends protect each other’s secrets.
- Eventually, you will end up with no friends to snitch on, if you continue snitching
18. The bit where we signed up for your live reality TV show must have slipped me.
Having a snitch as a friend means nothing is private about your life.
You can try as much as possible to keep it from the outside world, but they will always find out.
Roast your friends whose weakness is keeping secret this way:
- You are a snitch and a freelancer, the only difference between you and Judas was he got paid.
19. A secret is supposed to be between two people, but you represent the universe.
Telling a snitch a secret is not different from telling the whole world. A smiling and quiet snitch is a snitch on a mission.
They don’t understand the word secret, they see it as a bad thing so therefore they try as much as possible to expose it at every chance they get.
- You are like a traffic light, constantly switching sides and confusing everyone around you
20. Your alias should be “Snitch” Ladies and gentlemen I give you the snitch.
This is a witty statement, directed toward someone who snitches for a living.
Someone who snitches is no true friend, they are dangerous, and letting them close to you will cost you a lot including your privacy, and might get you in trouble.
Roast your friend, who got popular through snitching:
- You are so popular that Donald Trump might win the election if you help him campaign, that is if you don’t snitch on him.
21. Apparently, you missed the notice that “snitches get stitches”
This is a colloquial phrase that essentially means that those who come out as snitch against you will suffer the consequences.
Snitching on friends, siblings, or a group can be life-threatening. Having a friend who snitches but yet to tell you on is dangerous, he could be a target for a snitching job that got someone or a group in trouble.
Roast your friend who snitched on a gang:
- If you get stitches every time you snitch, you will have become a living human bandage.
22. If PlayStation were to add, “Snitch, or Switch” to their game list, don’t know a better customer for the game than you.
“Snitch or Switch” is a common term used to characterize someone, who reports to authorities or other parties about the wrongdoing of others.
Frequently employed unfavorably, it is linked to treachery and defection. Expecting a snitch to switch sides is like expecting snow during summer, it is certain.
Roast a friend who frequently snitches or switches sides:
- If you are a coin, you will have more than two sides, because switching sides is the talent you learned before your first step as a baby.
23. If you are to have a nightmare most people scream Jesus, all you scream is ” I will tell’.
The word “I will tell” is what rings in the mind of a snitch anytime they are faced with secrets.
They take advantage of that term frequently, and they are unstable until they leak a secret. Telling on people clouds their mind and judgment, they might be doing it to gain or probably it a hobby.
Roast a friend you caught talking to himself:
- Your favorite pastime is switching sides. Perhaps you ought to enter the Olympics under the indecisive category.”
24. Buddy you leak so much, that the FBI ought to award you with a badge
How many times a snitch does their thing doesn’t matter, it is just a way of life to them. Once you know your friend can switch sides, or snitch on you it is better to keep things private from them.
Not necessarily they will rat you out to the government, they might tell close friends or people considered your enemy, private things.
Roast a friend, who can’t help but snitch:
- You are like the human equivalent of a TV remote, constantly switching channels without warning.
25. Friend you reek of gossip, who did you tell on this time?
Anytime you see a snitch, happy or smiling, obviously, he just snitched or switched on someone.
Switching sides or snitching brings out the best in them, and makes them feel fulfilled.
Roast your friend whose snitching or switching makes him happy:
- Congratulations on perfecting the art of switching lanes. Unfortunately, your loyalty is just as fickle as your driving skills.