30 Best Comebacks for Someone When They Say No One Cares

People say no one cares sometimes to guilt trip you, and when they say “no one cares,” it can be difficult to know what to say in response.

But don’t worry – I got you covered! In this article, I have compiled a list of the 30 best comebacks for this situation.

These comebacks are witty, clever, and sure to make the person who said “no one cares” regret their words.

The best part about these comebacks is that they’re all completely appropriate for any setting. Whether you’re at a party or in the office, you can use these comebacks to put the person in their rightful place.

Keep reading to find out.

Table of Contents

Below are the 30 best comebacks for someone when they say no one cares

Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of irrelevance this morning
Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize your opinion was the universal consensus
If no one cares, then why are you so desperate for attention?
I guess you missed the memo that I’m the designated ‘no one’ who cares.
Actually, I care so little that it’s impressive how much you think I care.
You must have a PhD in stating the obvious. Congratulations
You’re right, no one cares… about your opinion.
I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me not caring.
I’m glad we cleared that up. Now we can all move on with our lives.
If no one cares, then why are you wasting your breath telling me?
It’s fascinating how you managed to say something so uninteresting and yet still expect a reaction.
Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure there’s someone out there who cares… just not me.”
And here I thought you were going to say something meaningful. Silly me.
Well, you must be the spokesperson for ‘No One Cares’ Anonymous.
If no one cares, why are you so desperate for validation?
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize your opinion held the weight of the world on its shoulders.
Congratulations, you’ve just won the award for stating the most obvious and irrelevant statement of the day!
No one cares? That’s odd, I thought I saw a whole parade of people expressing their indifference.
If no one cares, then why did you feel the need to say it in the first place?
I appreciate your concern for my level of caring, but I think I’ll be just fine.
Please hold while I fetch my ‘No One Cares’ button. Oh, wait, I don’t have one.
If no one cares, then why did you feel the need to remind us of that fact?
Ah, the classic ‘no one cares’ argument… a true masterpiece of irrelevance.
You’re right, no one cares. Except you, since you can’t stop talking about it.
I’m sorry, I must have missed the memo where your opinion became the center of the universe.
If no one cares, then why did you feel the need to burst into the room and announce it?
Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I needed your permission to care or not.
The fact that you think no one cares is proof enough that someone does… me, for example, I care about your delusion.
If no one cares, then why are you so invested in making sure we know that?
Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to inform the world of your groundbreaking discovery that ‘no one cares’

1. Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of irrelevance this morning

This is a classic comeback to use for your friend who loves to guilt trip you and makes you feel you don’t care about them enough.

It can’t be a little toxic to you when all they whine and complain about is the 1% bad you did to them, forgetting about the 99% good you.

In the real sense, it doesn’t mean you are not good enough to be their friend, they are just the problematic ones here.

So when next they say ‘no one cares’, don’t apologize for what you didn’t do. Just reply to them with this comeback:

The only person who doesn’t care here is you- the rest of us are engaged and interested!
Looks like someone rolled out of bed straight into a ditch of inconsequentiality.
I didn’t know it was possible to be this irrelevant first thing in the morning – congrats on achieving the impossible.

2. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize your opinion was the universal consensus

Put an annoying fellow who loves saying “no one cares” with this sarcasm. The good thing about this roast is that it will portray your “I don’t care” countenance to them and stop- bothering-me message to them.

This roast will help you curb manipulative people from giving you some unnecessary emotional guilt.

Oops! My bad! I didn’t realize that the world revolved around you and your opinion.
2. “Wow, that’s news to me – last I checked, there were other people in the world besides you.

3. If no one cares, then why are you so desperate for attention?

Unmask their ulterior intention with this roast. Most of the time, some people say ” no one cares” because they want people to care. Use this roast to prove to them that you understand their gimmicks and you’re not falling for it.

If no one cares, then why are you shouting so loudly? Seems like you really want people to care
If no one cares, then why are you trying so hard to convince me that they don’t? Seems like you’re projecting.

4. I guess you missed the memo that I’m the designated ‘no one’ who cares.

Another classic punchline to use for someone who says no one cares. This roast will portray you as one with a higher emotional IQ, and one whose emotions can never be toiled with; in case they are planning to.

“Well, I guess I didn’t get the memo – but I’m happy to take the role of ‘no one’ who cares.
“I’ll take on the role of the ‘no one’ who cares – I’ll be the designated listener, the voice of reason, the silent yet attentive audience.

5. Actually, I care so little that it’s impressive how much you think I care.

You might want a witty comeback for someone who says no one cares; “Actually, I care so little that it’s impressive how much you think I care” is a good witty roast to use for them.

This roast implies that you have tried proving yourself to them and you have gotten to the point where you don’t care about their perception of you anymore.

I’m impressed by how much you think I care – it’s almost like a superpower, how little I care
Your overestimation of how much I care is honestly inspiring – I wish I could be so passionate about something!

6. You must have a PhD in stating the obvious. Congratulations

Another sarcastic comment to use for someone who says no one cares often that it has become an anthem to you.

When next they say no one cares, don’t even apologize just clap your hands and respond with this comeback:

Oh! I see you bagged a doctorate in stating the obvious, Dr. “No one cares”
I didn’t know there was a degree in stating the obvious; I guessed I just found an expert in that field.

7. You’re right, no one cares… about your opinion.

The next time someone tells you no one cares, don’t argue, don’t apologize, just agree with them and respond; “You’re right, no one cares… about your opinion.” You know you have got better things to do than explain yourself.

I agree – no one cares about my opinion… or yours, for that matter.
That’s right – the only one who cares about your opinion is you.

8. I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me not caring.

Here is a touch of sarcasm for your colleague who says no one cares.

Maybe, you are the type to always feel bad about what you didn’t do and you always allow them to manipulate or guilt trip you; then this roast should be implored by you.

Show them the new you, show them you are no longer the nice guy anymore. I bet they will be shocked and speechless.

My ears are ringing from the deafening silence of how little I care; It’s like a symphony of indifference – you playing the lead role, and me in the audience not clapping.

9. I’m glad we cleared that up. Now we can all move on with our lives.

Most times people say no one cares so that they can get an apology for you but this time around, you’re not blessing them with an apology but rather a classic comeback.

Imagine saying this. Trust me, it will hit them so hard that they will feel like crying on the spot.

At last, we can put that to rest and put our energy towards something more meaningful, like literally anything else.
Phew! Glad we got that out of the way – now we can focus on important things.

10. If no one cares, then why are you wasting your breath telling me?

A great comeback for someone who says no one cares, and a creative way to tell them to stop bothering you because you don’t care about their complaint.

Use this roast for your annoying colleague who thinks he can dictate how to run this situationship because you two are colleagues. A creative way to say shut up without saying shut up.

If no one cares, then why are you wasting your breath telling me that no one cares? You’re contradicting yourself.
If no one cares, why are you wasting your time telling me something that I already know?

11. It’s fascinating how you managed to say something so uninteresting and yet still expect a reaction.

A mean insult for those people who love to blackmail you emotionally with their “no one cares” anthem. Show them some grand maturing with this classic burner.

Your ability to bore people into a stupor is almost impressive – but not quite.
“Your talent for expressing the mundane is truly astonishing – no one could be as uninteresting as you.

12. Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure there’s someone out there who cares… just not me.

A spicy response to people who say no one cares.

You know they are expecting the remorseful and apologetic you but with this roast, you take them unexpectedly, and brutally. Also, a beautiful way to say “it’s not you, it’s me phrase”

They surely will get the message- that there are boundaries now, boundaries that should never be crossed.

It’s not you, it’s me – I’m just not the right person to appreciate the depth of your insights.
I appreciate the effort, but I’m afraid you’re barking up the wrong tree! Keep looking and you’ll find someone who cares, eventually.

13. And here I thought you were going to say something meaningful. Silly me.

Use this blunt expression to get someone who says no one cares roasted. Here in this roast, you are trying to imply that they are not sensible enough to be a match for you. Watch them roast in the heat of these words:

I was so hopeful that you had something profound to say – but I guess that was too much to ask for.
I had such high expectations for you, and you let me down so spectacularly! I almost respect the level of disappointment you achieved.

14. Well, you must be the spokesperson for ‘No One Cares’ Anonymous

A great comeback to use when in a roast fight, and you need to beat your opponent flawlessly in the game. This is a very sarcastic comment that will leave the recipient sad.

Congratulations, you’re the poster child for the ‘No One Cares’ movement
You’re doing such a good job representing the ‘No One Cares’ cause, you should run for office

15. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize your opinion held the weight of the world on its shoulders.

Here is a humorous roast to poke fun at someone who says no one cares and that will surely hurt them in no time. As the eldest, you can use this light-hearted roast to poke fun at your siblings.

This will even annoy them more because they were expecting a back rub instead of a roast. Using “I’m sorry” to start even makes it more funny.

Wink at them and say:

You must think pretty highly of yourself if you think your opinion is that influential
I didn’t realize your opinion was so important! Perhaps you should run for world dictator?

16. Congratulations, you’ve just won the award for stating the most obvious and irrelevant statement of the day

If you want to pick at someone who often says no one cares such that they will blame themselves for even talking in the first place, then you can throw this line at them. By this, you’re implying how irrelevant their use of this phrase is.

You deserve an honor for always stating the obvious. I should give you a prestigious award for that.

17. No one cares? That’s odd, I thought I saw a whole parade of people expressing their indifference.

If such a person is such an annoying freak with the phrase, you can use this creative roast to salvage them. It will sink more if such a person is in a creative tandem with you.

It is impossible to say ‘No One Cares’. Can’t you see a parade of no one cares with their marching band and floats?

18. If no one cares, then why did you feel the need to say it in the first place?

This is another classic punchline to use as a response to them. It is a creative way to tell them to keep mute and can be used in a creative groove.

Your ‘no one cares’ is equivalent to yelling into the void – it’s a completely futile and pointless exercise.
Saying no one cares is like saying ‘it’s raining outside when it’s raining outside’ – it’s a statement of the obvious
Saying no one cares is like saying ‘I’m breathing’ – you don’t need to tell people things that are already obvious.
These are so much fun! Should we keep going?

19. If no one cares, then why did you feel the need to say it in the first place?

Another roast to cut people off from reiterating irrelevant things. This statement is a classic burner that will make them keep mute.

Saying ‘no one cares’ is like shouting into the void – it accomplishes nothing and serves no purpose.
Saying ‘no one cares’ is like a cry for help – it shows a deep-seated need for validation.

20. I appreciate your concern for my level of caring, but I think I’ll be just fine.

Here is a roast to play on their emotions and even a reverse psychology to use on them.

This roast has a very deep humor. Instead of apologizing to them, you are apologizing to yourself for tolerating them.

Your concern for my caring capacity is noted, and I apologize to myself.

21. Please hold while I fetch my ‘No One Cares’ button. Oh, wait, I don’t have one.

Someone comes to you with a serious phase telling you no one cares. Use this playful roast to tease them. This roast is sure to evoke laughter from them.

I don’t seem to have an ‘I care’ button – can you tell me where to get one?
I’m afraid my ‘I Care’ button is broken – can you help me fix it?

22. If no one cares, then why did you feel the need to remind us of that fact?

This is a perfect way to dismiss people who say no one cares. You don’t need to argue with them, just use this roast as a response. It’s a classic punchline that will sting hard.

It’s almost like you’re trying to convince yourself that no one cares – are you projecting your own insecurity onto others?
It seems like you might have a deep-seated need for validation – is that why you feel the need to remind us that no one cares

23. Ah, the classic ‘no one cares’ argument… a true masterpiece of irrelevance.

Another good comeback for them, and a figurative way of pointing out the insignificance of their phrase. This one is a good roast for your colleague at work.

This ‘no one cares’ argument is a true tour de force of superfluous statements.

24. You’re right, no one cares. Except you, apparently, since you can’t stop talking about it.

This is perfect for someone who says no one cares and goes on to still expect people to care. Use this roast to set them straight.

I appreciate your passion for the subject of ‘no one cares,’ but it’s getting a little monotonous. Can we talk about something else?
It’s interesting that you’re so obsessed with the concept of ‘no one cares.’ Is this your life’s work?

25. I’m sorry, I must have missed the memo where your opinion became the center of the universe.

Another sarcasm to use to troll them. This roast uses verbal irony, and implies that you don’t care and you are not sorry about the fact.

26. If no one cares, then why did you feel the need to burst into the room and announce it?

This is a creative way to tell them to keep their opinion about no one caring to themselves. There is no need to tell everyone since they already concluded that no one cares.

27. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I needed your permission to care or not.

*Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I needed your permission to care or not” is another sarcastic comment you can use for them. This will surely hit them hard. When delivering your roast, make sure you use a sarcastic tone.

“You must be very important to think you can give or deny permission to care! That’s a lot of power.

28. The fact that you think no one cares is proof enough that someone does… me, for example, I care about your delusion.

If you wish to troll people who say no one cares then this is a good roast to use for them. Saying you only care about their delusion is a something that will sting them so hard.

29. If no one cares, then why are you so invested in making sure we know that?

Use this expression to roast someone who says no one cares and also to comment on their irrelevance indirectly. This roast is sure to make them red in the face.

30. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to inform the world of your groundbreaking discovery that ‘no one cares’

Here is a creative way to tell someone who says no one cares that their phrase is totally meaningless and out of context most of the time.

If you want such a person to burn them this final roast should be used on them. Make sure you use a sarcastic tone when you want to deliver this roast.

Truly, you are a pioneer in the field of expressing pointless sentiments! Bravo.