Taxi-cab drivers are the product of civilization and an improvement in the transport system of the world.
Nothing feels more suiting than boarding a taxi quickly to catch up with appointments and events. A lot of DUI tickets have been avoided by some people because of Cab drivers.
Not all cab drivers give us the suiting ride experience, some of them could be rude and try to rip you off, if they notice you’re not familiar with the route.
Well I have prepared a list of 20 witty insults that will help you put a cab driver in his place.
This would be helpful if you’ve had encounters with the rude ones, you could put any of these expressions to good use, it’s better to have loaded guns while preparing for battle.
Now let’s get started!
List of 20 Clever Insults for a Cab Driver
- Driving slower than my grandma. Speed up, or should I start walking and beat you there?
- I thought cab drivers were supposed to run the car and not their mouths, shut up!
- Your cab is just as dirty as your stinky personality. Do you mind washing it?
- You drive so slow I bet a snail is like a race car next to how you drive your taxi cab.
- Your taxi should be taken off the road, it’s as old as time.
- You’ve finally found a job that you are good at, drive till you drive out of my home.
- I told you to drive me to my destination sir, not drive me nuts.
- My toddler crawls faster than the way your cab is moving right now.
- You should consider a career change from a taxi cab driver to a scammer, your prices are too high.
- Snails must be feeling like the Flash next to the way you drive.
- If all cab drivers drove their cabs like you, taxi cab would have become extinct.
- You are going to turn twenty minutes drive to twenty years with the pace at which you are driving.
- You’re a taxi driver and not a therapist, you don’t have to ask about my problems, just drive.
- How did you get your driver’s license? You drive like a broken snail.
- I told you to follow the car, why does it seem as if it’s the car that’s following us?
- I don’t understand why anyone can just be a taxi driver, you’re an example of how it’s a bad idea
- You’re the taxi driver and I am the passenger, why does it feel like I am doing more of the driving?
- The brake is used for stopping the car, it’s not an amusing toy for your leg.
- Are you sure your eyes can see the road signs because you seem to ignore every one we’ve passed by.
- It’s not only the route you got wrong, you got the attitude wrong and the career choice.
Driving slower than my grandma. Speed up, or should I start walking and beat you there?
This statement implies criticism towards the cab driver’s driving speed, suggesting that they are driving too slowly.
It can be insulting to the cab driver as it questions their competence and ability to provide efficient transportation services.
Additionally, the comparison to one’s grandma driving slower adds a layer of mockery.
- If I decide to start walking I am sure I will beat you to the place.
- My grandmother could walk faster than the speed of your cab.
I thought cab drivers were supposed to run the car and not their mouths, shut up!
This statement insults cab drivers by implying that their primary role is simply to operate the vehicle and that they should refrain from engaging in conversation.
It disregards the importance of communication and customer service skills in providing a positive experience for passengers.
Additionally, telling someone to “shut up” is a sure sign of disrespect.
- You’re to run the car and not your mouth.
- Could you shut your mouth so that you could concentrate on the driving.
Your cab is just as dirty as your stinky personality. Do you mind washing it?
This statement is insulting to the cab driver on multiple levels. Firstly, it criticizes the cleanliness of the cab, implying that it reflects poorly on the driver’s professionalism and hygiene standards.
Secondly, it insults the driver’s personality by describing it as “stinky,” which is a derogatory and disrespectful remark.
Lastly, while the request to wash the cab might seem reasonable, the overall tone of the statement is very insulting.
- You stink almost as your cab stinks, did a rat die inside here?
- Whatever makes this cab smell so bad must have affected your personality as well.
You drive so slow I bet a snail is like a race car next to how you drive your taxi cab.
This statement insults the cab driver by criticizing their driving speed in a mocking and demeaning manner.
Comparing the cab driver’s speed to that of a snail implies extreme slowness and incompetence, which can be hurtful and disrespectful.
- You drive as slow as a snail, do you mind increasing the speed?
- I hate how slow you are, even a snail is faster than you.
Your taxi should be taken off the road, it’s as old as time.
This statement insults the cab driver by criticizing the condition of their vehicle in a disrespectful manner.
Describing the taxi as “as old as time” implies that it is outdated, unreliable, or unsafe, which reflects poorly on the driver’s professionalism and ability to provide a satisfactory service.
- You taxi being on the road should be a crime, it’s as old as time.
- Your taxi cab isn’t for the road anymore, it’s meant for a car dumpster.
You’ve finally found a job that you are good at, drive till you drive out of my home.
This statement insults the cab driver by suggesting that their only skill is driving, and it implies that they are not welcome in the speaker’s home.
It belittles the cab driver’s profession and diminishes their worth as an individual. Additionally, it can be hurtful to the cab driver as it implies rejection.
- Now you’re a cab driver, I hope you find a way to drive out of my house.
- Please could you drive far away from home now that you are a cab driver?
I told you to drive me to my destination sir, not drive me nuts.
This expression insults the cab driver by suggesting that their behavior or driving style is irritating or frustrating.
It implies that the cab driver is failing to fulfill their primary duty of safely and efficiently transporting the passenger to their destination.
Additionally, it can be demeaning to the cab driver as it implies incompetence.
- You can’t possibly want to drive me nuts when I need you to drive me to my destination, right?
- My destination is where I need you to drive me to, all you’re doing is driving me crazy.
My toddler crawls faster than the way your cab is moving right now.
This statement insults the cab driver by criticizing their driving speed in a mocking and derogatory manner.
Comparing the speed of the cab to that of a toddler crawling implies extreme slowness and incompetence, which can be disrespectful.
- My toddler could race you to where I am going by just crawling.
- You can’t even catch up to my toddler if he decides to race you.
You should consider a career change from a taxi cab driver to a scammer, your prices are too high.
This is a good expression that can be used on can drivers that seem to always double the price.
It is an expression suggesting that they are overcharging customers and implying dishonesty in their profession.
It undermines the integrity of the cab driver’s work and implies that they are engaging in unethical behavior.
- You shouldn’t be a taxi driver, a scammer should be what you should go for.
- I can’t imagine you being a cab driver with this behavior, be a scammer instead.
Snails must be feeling like the Flash next to the way you drive.
This statement insults the cab driver by suggesting that their driving speed is exceptionally slow.
Comparing the cab driver’s speed to that of a snail implies extreme slowness and incompetence, which can be hurtful.
A snail being called a superhero known for its speed, The flash makes it hilarious.
It undermines the cab driver’s professionalism to provide efficient transportation services.
- The flash must be in the snail whenever you’re driving next to it.
- No matter how slow a snail is, it’s still the Flash when next to your driving speed.
If all cab drivers drove their cabs like you, taxi cab would have become extinct.
This is another funny insult to the cab driver by implying that their driving abilities are so poor that if all cab drivers drove similarly, the taxi cab industry would cease to exist.
It suggests incompetence and a lack of skill, which can be demean.
- Thank God you’re the only one who drives this way, there shouldn’t be reckless drivers on the road.
- How can you drive like this? Taxi drivers would have been extinct with the way you drive.
You are going to turn twenty minutes drive to twenty years with the pace at which you are driving.
This statement insults the cab driver by suggesting that their driving pace is excessively slow, implying that the journey will take an unreasonably long time.
It undermines the cab driver’s competence and professionalism, implying that they are unable to perform their job efficiently.
- I should better brace myself for this journey. I signed up for twenty minutes but it might be a decade.
- I wish you knew how long you make every journey look.
You’re a taxi driver and not a therapist, you don’t have to ask about my problems, just drive.
This expression is sharp, sassy and a perfect insult for a cab driver.
It insults the cab driver by dismissing their attempt at conversation and empathy during the ride.
It implies that the cab driver’s role is solely to provide transportation and that they should not engage in any form of personal interaction or support.
- I don’t need a therapist in a cab, I need someone who can just drive.
- Would you stop asking nonsense questions and drive?
How did you get your driver’s license? You drive like a broken snail.
This is an excellent use of simile in this case there is a comparison between a broken snail and a cab driver’s driving skills.
Snails are known to be slow but a broken snail is a symbol to represent the degree of the driver’s pace.
- You drive like a broken snail, please do better.
- A snail could drive me more satisfactorily than you do.
I told you to follow the car, why does it seem as if it’s the car that’s following us?
This statement insults the cab driver by implying that they are unable to effectively navigate or keep up with traffic, and follow simple instructions.
It suggests that the cab driver is not capable of fulfilling their primary duty of safely transporting the passenger to their destination.
- How can you say you’re following a car when you are doing the opposite.
- All you have to do is follow simple instructions but you’re not listening.
I don’t understand why anyone can just be a taxi driver, you’re an example of how it’s a bad idea.
An expression like this implies that being a taxi driver is a low-skill or undesirable job and suggests that the person being referred to as an example of why it’s a bad idea is not competent or satisfactory in their role as a taxi driver.
It can be insulting to the cab driver as it questions their ability.
- You’re why not everyone is meant to be a taxi driver.
- You lack the skill to drive, I wonder who hired you.
You’re the taxi driver and I am the passenger, why does it feel like I am doing more of the driving?
These kinds of questions do not sound suitable to the ears of a cab driver in any way.
It’s a kind of statement that means that the passenger is tense due the way the driver is driving which makes him or her feel like the driver and not the passenger as it should be.
This is an hilarious tense that can be shared amongst your friends.
- I am supposed to be a relaxed passenger but I am more stressed from the way you are driving.
- Your driving is making me tense. I wonder why you can’t stop driving recklessly.
The brake is used for stopping the car, it’s not an amusing toy for your leg.
This statement suggests that the cab driver is using the brake pedal frivolously or improperly, rather than for its intended purpose of stopping the car safely.
It implies that the cab driver is not taking their responsibility seriously and may be endangering the safety of their passengers.
- The brake is meant to stop the car, you on the other hand find it as a toy.
- You have brakes to stop the car, use it please.
Are you sure your eyes can see the road signs because you seem to ignore everyone we’ve passed by.
This statement implies that the cab driver is not paying attention to road signs, potentially endangering the safety of the passengers and other road users.
You could make use of expressions like this when conversing with a rude cab driver.
- You keep ignoring the signs, are you sure that you don’t need glasses?
- I can’t help but notice how you’ve been ignoring the road signs.
It’s not only the route you got wrong, you got the attitude wrong and the career choice.
This is a three in one word blast insult for a cab driver.
This statement is a direct attack on the cab driver’s character, attitude, and career choice.
It suggests that not only did the cab driver make a mistake with the route, but they also have a negative attitude and are unfit for their chosen profession.
- Everything about the way you drive is wrong.
- I made a big mistake entering a cab that you are driving.