20 Funny Roasts for Someone on their Birthday

Funny Roasts for Someone on their Birthday

Birthdays are a special time for celebration, and what better way to mark the occasion than with a hearty laugh? 

In this funny roast article, we’ll explore 20 funny roasts that are sure to bring smiles to the birthday person’s face. So, let the laughter begin!

Dig in. 

20 funny roasts for someone on their birthday

1. Wonder what the birthday cake wanted to see the doctor for?

This is one of the age-old question of our era. This roast plays on the idea that as we get older, we might need more check-ups. In this case, even the birthday cake is not exempt!

Hopefully it would get answers that bother it and share with the celebrant. You can use this roast to remind the celebrant to reflect on their life. 

  • Next time someone asks: Why was the birthday cake at the doctor’s?  

Say: Because it needed a ‘layer’ of medical attention!

2. Why do candles always go so fast on a birthday cake?

Funny Roasts for Someone on their Birthday

They do this because time flies. Candles on a birthday cake are a tradition, and this roast humorously suggests that they burn quickly because time seems to fly, especially on birthdays.

After saying the roast, point to the birthday person and say they are the candle and watch them grimace in revulsion. 

  • Light the candles and say: Why do these candles always go so fast on a birthday cake? Then add: Because they can’t resist being in the spotlight!

3. Why did the birthday cake go to therapy?

This roast plays on the idea of a cake having emotions or issues. It’s a classic example of anthropomorphism, attributing human characteristics to non-human entities.

If the birthday celebrant is a doctor, this roast fits them well. 

  • Friend: Why did the birthday cake go to therapy?
  • Because it had too many layers of issues!
  • Colleague: Why did the birthday cake go to therapy?
  • Probably had a mid-life frosting crisis!

4. What did one candle say to the other?

This roast focuses on the candles. It would be fun to make fun of the birthday Day cakes as well. Use this roast before the birthday person blows out the candles. 

  • Family member: What did one candle say to the other?
  • I don’t know, what?
  • Family member: You’re on fire!
  • Sibling: What did one candle say to the other?Tell me!
  • Sibling: Don’t burn yourself out too soon!

5. The birthday cake at the doctor’s again?

Funny Roasts for Someone on their Birthday

It was the crumbs. In this roast you pronounce the word crumbs as of it were a bad word, or a name for a sickness.

You are allowed to be flexible with this roast. Ask the birthday person if he has crumbs. Whether they say yes or no, drop the roast. 

  • I heard your cake had a doctor’s appointment – must be a serious case of crumbs!


  • Your cake called in sick today, said it needed a prescription for more frosting!

6. What did one candle say to the other on the birthday cake?

Don’t birthdays just burn you up? Of course they do. Begin this roast by telling the audience you have a story to tell.

Or you can ask if anyone has ever wondered what it would sound like if the candles on the cake talked. Use any of the examples below in your roasts. 

  • Your candles were having a heated debate about getting older – things got a bit waxy!


  • I overheard your candles discussing their bright ideas for the year ahead—sparks were flying!

7. Why did the birthday balloon burst?

Funny Roasts for Someone on their Birthday

It had too much “hot air” about turning another year older! For this roast make sure you have balloons in the decoration.

Hold one or two balloons and make them have a conversation about turning 10, 30, 40 or whatever. Then follow up with the roast proper as shown below. 

  • Your balloon was getting a bit deflated, claimed it couldn’t handle the pressure of another birthday!


  • Heard your balloon had a meltdown—apparently, it couldn’t handle the weight of those birthday wishes!

8. What’s a birthday wish that always comes true?

The one you make for more cake! This is a light roast addressing the celebrants cake.

If they are a big cake lover, this roast is for them. Get everyone’s attention right after the cake is cut and shared. 

  • I hope your birthday wish for an endless supply of cake pans out – otherwise, we might need a backup plan!


  • Heard you were wishing for a calorie-free cake—good luck with that, but enjoy the real thing for now!

9. Why did the birthday present go to therapy?

It had too many issues with wrapping! This roast should come in as you are unveiling or unwrapping the cake. Tie the roast to any dent or irregularities in the cake.

The cake is probably tired from its long journey. It’s traumatized, like the person whose birthday it was made for. 

  • Your gift needed counseling—apparently, it had a tough time dealing with the pressure of being perfectly wrapped!


  • Heard your present is in therapy for its fear of being opened—it’s working through some serious packaging trauma!

10. How does a penguin celebrate its birthday?

Funny Roasts for Someone on their Birthday

With an iceberg of cake and an igloo of friends! Tell the celebrant he reminds you of a penguins birthday. He’ll ask why.

Ask again if he has ever wondered what a penguin birthday would look like. 

  • Your penguin friends are on standby, ready to party with icebergs of cake and igloos of laughter!


  • I hope your birthday is as cool as a penguin’s, with frosty treats and chilly celebrations!

11. What do you give someone who has everything on their birthday?

Antibiotics – they probably caught everything! Serve this roast as everyone is dropping their gifts for the birthday person.

Use it as you hand in your gift too. It would be wonderful to see the wary expression on the person’s face as they open your gift. 

  • I found the perfect gift for you – a big box of antibiotics, just in case you caught ‘having everything’ syndrome!


  • I hope you’re ready for a dose of laughter and a prescription for the best birthday ever!

12. Why did the birthday cake visit the gym?

Funny Roasts for Someone on their Birthday

It wanted to get more tiers of fitness! Use this roast if the cake has tiers. Wait till the birthday person is about to cut the cake before making the observation about the cake. 

  • Your cake is hitting the gym—apparently, it’s determined to be the strongest and most well-rounded dessert ever!


  • Heard your cake is into fitness now—I guess it wants to have its cake and eat it too, but in a healthier way!

13. What do you call someone who steals energy drinks on their birthday?

A mugger! 

The basis for this roast is: it’s his birthday yet he steals drinks from the fridge. The drinks are there because it’s his birthday.

In this roast you are not suggesting that the birthday person is a thief. You just wonder why he’d be stealing the drinks. 

  • Your energy-drink-loving friend was caught “mugging” the fridge for a birthday boost!


  • Heard someone was on a caffeine heist at the party—must be a birthday “mugger” in action!

13. Why did the birthday candle turn red?

It saw the birthday cake and blushed! As part of your roast, begin with the candles. Turn them into characters of their own. Make a story out of it to make everyone laugh. 

  • Your candle turned red – apparently, it couldn’t handle the sweetness of the birthday cake and blushed with joy!


  • I think your candle is in love with the cake – it turned red at the sight of all those delicious layers!

14. What do you call a group of musical whales who show up at a birthday party?

They’re called party animals. And they have a kindred family at the birthday.

You should point out that the birthday person is why we have whales at the party. The whales here can be the regular ones or orcas.

This joke combines the unexpected elements of musical whales with a birthday celebration, creating a whimsical image. 

  • What do you call a group of musical whales who show up at a birthday party?
  • An orca-stra!

15. Why did the birthday boy go to the bar with a ladder?

Funny Roasts for Someone on their Birthday

This funny roast takes a playful twist on the common idea of bringing a ladder to overcome a height-related challenge.

Besides it’s a birthday. The celebrant and his friends are getting drunk at the bar, happy to see another year. 

  • Why does the birthday boy have a ladder in his truck outside the bar?
  • Why do you think? He’s here to get as high as he can. He’ll need something to come down with. 


  • Why did the birthday boy go to the bar with a ladder?
  • I think at this point we’re all going to need that ladder seeing as we are all up in the skies, filled with whiskey. 

16. Why did the birthday card apply for a job?

It wanted to make some “cents” on its special day! If you run out of roasts for the birthday person himself, move on to his card.

For the purpose of the roast, the birthday card has a mind of its own. Pick up a card for this roast. 

  • Your birthday card is job hunting – apparently, it’s looking to earn a few extra “cents” to fund more celebrations!


  • Heard your card submitted its resume – it’s hoping to cash in on some birthday success in the job market!

17. What do you call someone who forgets your birthday?

An “age”-nostic friend! This one plays on the word agnostic. It’s not your birthday, apparently.

But if the person who’s celebrating forgot about yours in the past, it’s time to roast him or her. Do this in a lighthearted way so you don’t come off as a party pooper. 

  • I heard someone forgot your birthday – they must be an “age”-nostic, not keeping track of the passing years!


  • Your forgetful friend claims to be “age”-nostic – birthdays just slip through their memory!

18. Why did the birthday cake break up with the candles?

Funny Roasts for Someone on their Birthday

It couldn’t handle the constant “burning” desire! Lift the spirit of the birthday party with this roast. It makes reference to the candles again.

Use this roast especially when you have exhausted your arsenal. Drop this roast when the birthday activity is focused on the cake. 

  • Your cake and candles are going through a breakup—seems the constant “burning” passion was too much to handle!


  • Heard your cake is single now—apparently, it needed some space from the fiery romance with the candles!

19. What’s a birthday gift you can’t find at the store?

Wrinkle cream – the gift that keeps on smoothing! This roast takes a jab at the person’s age. Use this roast if the birthday person is well along in age.

It suggests that they’re showing signs of aging. Hence the best gift for them is something that conceals it. 

  • I got you a unique gift – it’s not from the store, but I promise it’ll keep you smooth and wrinkle-free!


  • Your gift is a special delivery – it might not be in a store bag, but it’s the kind of present that keeps on smoothing!

20. Why did the birthday cake go to therapy?

It was tired of being layered with emotional baggage! The birthday cake is the center of attraction, besides the celebrant, that is.

Everyone is gushing over how beautiful the cake is. They’re hovering around it with knives and plates, drinks, ready to maul it. The insensitivity of party people! 

  • Your cake is seeking therapy—apparently, it’s tired of carrying around layers of emotional frosting and needs a little counseling!


  • Heard your cake is in therapy for its emotional baggage—turns out, it’s not all sweetness and layers in the world of desserts!

Final Thoughts 

Funny Roasts for Someone on their Birthday

Birthdays are a fantastic time to celebrate, and humor adds an extra layer of joy to the festivities. These 20 roasts are just a starting point. 

Feel free to adapt and share them to make someone’s special day even more memorable. 

Whether you prefer witty one-liners or clever puns, laughter truly is the perfect gift. So go ahead, spread the joy, and make those birthday candles flicker with mirth!

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