Everybody needs friends to walk and do life together, but some people just seem to have a harder time making them.
If you know someone who finds it hard to make friends or keep friends, then this list is for you.
In this article, I’ve compiled 20 funny roasts that will help you gently tease your friend about their lack of companionship.
The lists include one-liners, sarcasm, puns, and deep humor and can be used at a roast game, word banter, get-together, or friends hangout.
So sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh!
Below are 20 Funny Roasts for Someone With No Friends
- Your social life is so quiet; even introverts are asking for your secret
- You’re like a human Wi-Fi signal in the desert – searching for friends, but no connections found.
- If loneliness were an Olympic sport, you’d be a gold medalist.
- Your calendar is so empty; even the crickets have found better plans.
- Trying to find your friends is like searching for a needle in a haystack – if the haystack were the size of the Sahara Desert.
- Are you allergic to friendship, or are people just allergic to you?
- Your social circle is so exclusive; it’s basically a dot on the map of human connections.
- If loneliness were a currency, you’d be a billionaire.
- Your idea of a party is probably just a group chat with imaginary friends.
- You’re so good at hide and seek; even your friends can’t find you.
- Your social life is so lively; I can hear the echoes of laughter… oh wait, those are crickets.
- Are you a social butterfly or more like a social caterpillar waiting to blossom into friendships?
- Your friend list is like a museum – everyone can visit, but nobody stays for long.
- I bet even ghosts have more friends in their contact list than you do.
- If your friends were constellations, your night sky would be pretty empty.
- Trying to plan something with you is like trying to make plans with a unicorn – mythical and impossible.
- Your idea of a social event is probably just watching reruns of ‘Friends’ alone.
- if you were any more socially distant, you’d need a telescope to see your friends.
- Your social life is like a library – silent, and people only go there when they need something.
- Even GPS can’t locate your friends; they’re in the Bermuda Triangle of your social life.
1. Your social life is so quiet; even introverts are asking for your secret
Do you know someone whose ability to make friends even sucks more than an extrovert?
Then this roast is for him. Introverts are socially inept and thus don’t make the first move by asking people to be their friends.
The roast uses exaggerated lines to convey the depth of someone with no friends’ social ineptness.
So you have invited them to your event again and the party pooper declines your invitation for the umpteenth time. Make a smirk and say to them:
- Your social life is so boring; even introverts beg to be your role model.
2. You’re like a human Wi-Fi signal in the desert – searching for friends, but no connections found.
This is a light-hearted joke you can use to poke fun at someone you have known for long and still with no friends. With this roast, call out your friend’s inadequacy when it comes to making friends.
- You could join a ‘friends wanted’ ad, but nobody would reply.
3. If loneliness were an Olympic sport, you’d be a gold medalist.
A roast for an old acquaintance who has always been a lone wolf since time immemorial. This roast is harmless and great for drawing a smile from your old-time acquaintance.
You can deliver the roast like this:
- If loneliness were an Olympic sport, you’d be an all-time champion.
4. Your calendar is so empty; even the crickets have found better plans.
A bit spicy roast for your sibling who loves to stay indoors always. No one loves to be compared to an animal let alone say animals do better than them.
Saying crickets do better than them is sure to make them make angry faces at you.
- Even the tumbleweeds have more social engagement than you.
5. Trying to find your friends is like searching for a needle in a haystack – if the haystack were the size of the Sahara Desert.
Creatively describe the impossibility of someone with no friends getting friends before the end of this year, with this roast.
You have known that person for a long time and he has always been alone, then he tries to assure you that he will get one before the year runs out.
Twitch your nose and say:
- Trying to wait for the day you will have friends is like waiting for tomorrow to come.
6. Are you allergic to friendship, or are people just allergic to you?
Tell them their inability to make friends is an abnormality, stemming from an allergy. No one on this planet doesn’t have one or at least two friends they identify or associate with.
Making everyone believe they do not have friends could be that they are allergic to friendship or people are allergic to them.
Trust me when I say that is a pretty brutal burn for someone with no friends;
- If you’re not allergic to friendship, then why are people running away from you?
7. Your social circle is so exclusive; it’s basically a dot on the map of human connections.
Ah yes! A pure sarcasm to ridicule someone with no friends. Creatively describe their inclusive lifestyle with this humorous roast.
With this, you are implying that they have the lowest energy for building human relationships.
- Your social circle is so small, it could fit into a thimble.
8. If loneliness were a currency, you’d be a billionaire.
A classic punchline to roast someone who has long been without friends.
You come across your old neighbor and then from your conversation, you realize they are still the same way you left them; lonely and without friends. Smile at them and say;
- You could retire early on your earnings on loneliness.
9. Your idea of a party is probably just a group chat with imaginary friends.
People with no friends soliloquize, daydream, and converse with imaginary friends. Make fun of someone with no friends with this one-liner and watch them burn at some truth being spilled.
- You’re so lonely; your shadow is your best friend.
10. You’re so good at hide and seek; even your friends can’t find you.
Another way to make fun of people with no friends is to say that they are good with hide and seek and that is the cause for their lack of friends.
Also, you can use this idiomatically to address their fear of making friends or meeting new people.
- You’re a pro at hide and seek. In fact, you’ve been hiding so well, your friends forgot you even exist
11. Your social life is so lively; I can hear the echoes of laughter… oh wait, those are crickets
This is a sarcastic roast to use on someone with no friends. This roast is so funny and full of sarcasm about their lonely personality, and it is capable of making them cry for help or be on the lookout for friends.
You have been going gentle on them but this time around, take a swift swerve into a more brutal way of roasting them.
- Have you got friends now; I can hear the echoes of laughter…. Oh wait, my bad! Those are crickets.
12. Are you a social butterfly or more like a social caterpillar waiting to blossom into friendships?
Another funny roast for someone with no friends.
Just like a caterpillar goes through stages where it metamorphoses into a butterfly, this roast ridicules the delusion of them hoping to have a meaningful relationship someday.
Deliver your roast in this manner:
- Hoping to be a social butterfly someday? Get rid of that illusion
13. Your friend list is like a museum – everyone can visit, but nobody stays for long.
Go pretty hard on someone with no friends with this roast- “Your friend list is like a museum, everyone can visit, but nobody stays for long.” This is another great roast for them you can use to poke fun at them.
- Your friend list is like a museum, except it’s full of mummies – dead relationships.
14. I bet even ghosts have more friends in their contact list than you do.
I bet even ghosts have more friends in their contact list than you do is another hilarious way to roast someone with no friends.
Implying that even the dead have more friends is capable of stinging them hard and leaving them sunken for the rest of the day.
- Your social life is so dead, that even a medium can’t connect with it.
15. If your friends were constellations, your night sky would be pretty empty.
If your friends were constellations, your night sky would be pretty empty is another creative way to describe the level of loneliness someone with no friends experiences.
This roast is a light-hearted one but strong enough to evoke laughter from people.
- If your friends were constellations, you’d be looking at a night sky full of black holes! No light, just darkness
16. Trying to plan something with you is like trying to make plans with a unicorn – mythical and impossible
Here is a witty roast to use for someone with no friends, especially when they fail to stick to their end of the plan… With this roast, you are saying that not only having friends is an impossible thing to think about but also choosing them as a planmate is a mirage.
17. Your idea of a social event is probably just watching reruns of ‘Friends’ alone.
Throw a light insult at someone with no friends with this savage expression. It ridicules their loneliness and even throws light shade at their perception of social events.
- Your idea of a social event sounds like the plot of a horror movie – ‘Single Person Trapped Alone In House With TV And Takeout
18. If you were any more socially distant, you’d need a telescope to see your friends.
Another subtle roast to say to someone with no friends is if you were any more socially distant, you’d need a telescope to see your friends.
This roast has a little sarcasm mixed with humor and is capable of stinging them hard.
- If you were any more socially distant, you’d be orbiting the Earth by yourself.
19. Your social life is like a library – silent, and people only go there when they need something.
“Your social life is like a library – silent, and people only go there when they need something” is another hit-the-target roast you can use on someone who has no friends and lives a very boring life.
This roast also makes a direct comparison of their life to a library to imply that people only come to them when they need assistance but are quick to dismiss them once they have gotten what they want. This is why they lack friends in their lives.
Use this roast for someone that people do take advantage of.
- You’re like a spring. People only go to you when they are thirsty.
20. Even GPS can’t locate your friends; they’re in the Bermuda Triangle of your social life.
Finally savage someone with no friends with these humorous lines; “Even GPS can’t locate your friends; they’re in the Bermuda Triangle of your social life.”
This is really apt for them if they are lying to you they have friends to avoid being roasted by them. Use these lines to figuratively tell them you know they are lying. If they are witty enough they will realize that you didn’t buy the lie.
- “The Bermuda Triangle of your social life is so mysterious, even the Coast Guard can’t find your friends