20 Funny Roasts to Say to Tottenham Fans 

Funny Roasts to Say to a Tottenham fan

Looking to roast a Tottenham fan? It’s easier than you think because Spurs are the ultimate “almost” club.

For example, if you’ve ever seen Arsenal fans taking the piss out of Spurs fans, especially on social media, you’ll know that the punchlines to roast the Spurs are endless. 

However, Ange Postecoglou has stepped in as the gaffer, and a lot of things have changed for the team. 

Many Tottenham fans have found truly impressive comebacks for some of these famous punchlines. So, I decided to put together a list of twenty new and really sassy lines you can use to stir them up. They will indeed not come to these  

Table of Contents

List of 20 Funny Roasts to Say to Tottenham Fans 

1. “Is supporting Tottenham a part-time job or just a hobby?”

Funny Roasts to Say to Tottenham Fans 

Use this rhetorical question to suggest they are not severe fans but are just playing around with their interest.

It can be quite irritating for a devoted fan because it questions the depth of their passion and loyalty to the team, making it sound like they’re not serious about supporting Tottenham.

For a true fan, it hits a nerve and might feel like a bit of an insult.

  • “Is being a Spurs fan a part-time gig for you, or just a weekend hobby?”

2. “Do you need a map to find Tottenham on the league table?”

Use this cheeky line to point out that Tottenham often finds themselves in the lower ranks of the league. The mention of needing a map adds a playful touch as if their position is so consistently low that it’s hard to spot them without a guide. 

It’s like playfully reminding them that their team might need a bit of navigation to climb up the standings.

  • “Do Spurs need a GPS to navigate the league standings?”

3. “One word to describe Tottenham’s trophy shelf is ‘empty.”

Remind them that their chances of winning big titles are pretty slim. It might annoy a fan because it’s making fun of the team’s lack of success and teasing them about not having much to show off in their “trophy cabinet.” 

It’s banter, but it’s a bit of a cheeky dig at their pride. And it’s factual: Tottenham has zero PPremierLeague or UEFA Champions League titles. 

4. “Are you a Tottenham fan or just really good at picking losers?”

Drop this line to suggest that Tottenham fans might mean they’re really good at picking teams that often lose. 

The roast comes from the idea that supporting Tottenham means embracing the ups and downs of football, and the question implies that maybe they deliberately choose teams with a history of losing. 

  • “Are you a Tottenham fan or just a pro at cheering for the underdogs?”

5. “Tottenham will need more than a GPS to get to the top.”

Take this clever dig at the team’s struggles to become champions. The phrase implies that no matter how advanced the tools are, Tottenham still can’t quite make it to the very top of the football world. 

For a Tottenham fan, it might be a little annoying because it pokes fun at their team’s history of coming close but falling short of significant victories.

6. “Unfortunately, no participation trophies”

Tease them for being good but not great. Use this line as a playful jab at the fact that they often end up in the middle of the pack without winning the big trophy. 

I like this question-based roasting because it’s a witty way of highlighting their history of being close to success but falling short.

  • “Is there a prize for being the best of the rest at sixth place?”

7. “Tottenham’s success is like my internet connection – nonexistent.”

Compare the team’s lack of trophies to the frustration of having bad internet that always disappears when you need it most.

It’s a light-hearted way of poking fun at the team’s lack of success, comparing it to a common annoyance like lousy internet. 

The roast comes from the unexpected connection between two unrelated things – Tottenham’s success and internet problems.

  • “Tottenham’s trophy collection is like my Wi-Fi bars – both barely existent.”

8. “The Chess game shows even better defences than in Tottenham.”

In chess, the defence is slow and strategic, like planning several moves. So, with this line, you’re saying Tottenham’s defence is too slow and predictable. 

This comment is a funny way of pointing out that Tottenham’s defence is not very good or exciting.—a total disrespect to Cristian Romero, Ben Davies, Pedro Porro and Eric Dier. 

So, for a Tottenham fan, it’s like saying their team’s defence is a bit too slow and not very clever – a cheeky way to poke fun at their playing style!

  • “Watching Tottenham defend is like waiting for a snail in a chess match – slow, predictable, and you wonder if it’s even trying.”

9. “If Tottenham played hide and seek, they’d still be looking for a title.”

Use this classic hide-and-seek line to ridicule their game. Tottenham has a hard time winning major football titles. 

The line suggests they’ve been searching for a championship (the “title”) for so long that they’d still be looking even in a different game like hide and seek. 

  • “If Tottenham were chefs, they’d still be cooking up a recipe for success.”

10. “Looks like ‘Where’s Wally?’ are the ones sponsoring the Spurs”

Use this classic line to make plays on Tottenham’s near misses and their quest for success. 

“Where’s Wally?” connects to Tottenham because fans often feel like they’re searching for the team’s success, but it’s elusive, just like finding Wally.

  • “Is Tottenham sponsored by a hide-and-seek club? They’re pros at disappearing when it’s trophy time!”
  • “Does Tottenham have Where’s Wally as their sponsor? Because finding them in the winner’s circle is a real challenge!”

11. “Is ‘Spursy’ in the dictionary yet? It should be under ‘always disappointing.'”

Funny Roasts to Say to Tottenham Fans 

Tell them disappointment is so synonymous with the team that it deserves its entry. “Spursy” is a term often used to describe situations where Tottenham seems poised for success but then falls short, leading to disappointment. 

So, when you suggest putting “Spursy” in the dictionary under ‘always disappointing,’ you’re basically saying that Tottenham has a reputation for letting fans down. 

  • “Is ‘Spursy’ in the dictionary? It could be defined as ‘always giving fans a rollercoaster of emotions.'”
  • “Should we add ‘Spursy’ to the dictionary? It might say, ‘Tottenham – where excitement and disappointment often shake hands.'”

12. “Do they hand out points for ‘trying really hard’ in football?”

Use this sneaky roast to imply the team is putting in a lot of effort but maybe not getting the results they want. You’re poking fun by asking if there’s a special reward for trying so hard, implying that the actual scores and wins aren’t stacking up as they should.

  • “Is there a ‘gold star’ league for effort in football? Tottenham seems to be going for that championship.”

13. “Tottenham’s winning strategy: hoping for a miracle.”

Make fun of their strategy. You can use this snappy roast to say that their team’s success seems more like wishful thinking than a carefully thought-out strategy. 

For a passionate fan, it might feel like you’re poking fun at the heart of their team’s efforts. Expect some spirited defence and maybe a laugh or two if you drop this line!

  • “Tottenham’s winning formula: a mix of hope, prayers, and a dash of football fairy dust.”

14. “Tottenham’s defences are like a sieve – lots of holes and leaking points.”

Point out that their defence isn’t doing a great job. It’s a cheeky and clever way of saying Tottenham’s defence is leaky and not very strong.

So, when they hear this line, it’s like being teased in a lighthearted way about their team’s defensive struggles. It’s not meant to be mean, but it’s a playful jab that suggests their defence needs some improvement.

  • “Tottenham’s defences are like a leaky bucket – can’t hold onto points.”
  • “It’s as if Tottenham’s defences broken umbrella – lots of holes letting goals rain in.”

15. “Tottenham’s motto: ‘Close, but no trophy.'”

Remind them of Tottenham’s habit of coming oh-so-close to winning big competitions but falling short. It’s like they’re perpetually the bridesmaid, never the bride. 

For the fan, it’s not just a phrase; it’s a sarcastic reminder of all those times their team teased them with victory, only to leave them empty-handed. 

Using this line is a playful yet painful way of poking fun at the team’s near misses and turning their motto into a teasing roast.

  • “Tottenham’s slogan: ‘Almost champions, but not quite.'”
  • Tottenham’s saying: ‘Nearly there, but no silverware.'”

16. “Y’all most likely practice celebrating fourth place before each match”

You’re joking that they’re so used to coming in fourth that they’re rehearsing how to celebrate it – as if being just okay is their significant achievement

The mirror part adds a funny touch, suggesting they might be practising their celebrations alone, like a private party for almost-winning. 

17. “It’s hard to know if being a Tottenham fan is a dare or a punishment”

By asking if supporting Tottenham is a dare or punishment, you’re teasing them about the team’s ups and downs.

This comment not only jokes about their favourite team but also questions their decision, making it a playful way of poking fun at their loyalty to a club that has a history of near-misses and heartbreaks.

18. “Tottenham’s idea of a successful season: having a nice kit.”

Funny Roasts to Say to Tottenham Fans 

Spurs fans dream big. They chant about “Spursy” nights and “Glory, Glory Tottenham Hotspur,” even if the glory is often a distant mirage. 

To imply their aspirations are limited to looking good on the pitch? That’s like telling the Wright brothers their kites were just beautiful flags

  • “Tottenham’s definition of ‘winning’? Matching socks and a sponsor who actually pays on time.” 
  • “Spurs’ trophy cabinet? No, mate, they just hang their kits up there.”

19. “Is ‘Tottenham Hotspur’ French for ‘always almost there’?”

Insult the beloved Spurs, their near-wins, and even their heritage, all in one breath. A Tottenham fan wouldn’t just be annoyed; they’d feel like their whole football identity was just punched in the face. 

That’s why it’d sting so much.

  •  “So close, yet so Tottenham.”
  •  “Is ‘N17’ the postcode for ‘second place’?” 

20. “If Tottenham were a superhero, they’d be Captain Almost.”

When you call Spurs “Captain Almost,” it’s like poking fun at that open wound. It’s saying, “Hey, remember all those times you choked? Yeah, we were watching.” 

It’s a playful jab that hits a little too close to home because, for a Spurs fan, “almost” is the most painful word in the dictionary.

  • Spurs are like that friend who always orders the same meal, gets halfway through, and then accidentally spills it all over themselves. 


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