Roasting someone based on their stature or body size can be demeaning and can go as far as bruising their self-esteem.
However, if you intend to playfully poke fun at someone’s body size, then there is no harm in putting them up for some light-hearted roasts.
This article is for you if you are looking for non-offensive, funny, and light-hearted jokes for a flat person.
In this article, I have compiled a list of hilarious and witty one-liners, puns, sarcasm, and savage expressions to roast a flat person.
The list can be used for your friends, colleagues, relatives, or siblings.
Here are 20 Funny Roasts for a Flat Person
- Turning sideways makes you nearly invisible.
- As the flattest person alive, you should receive recognition.
- You are as flat as a piece of paper when examined closely.
- You seem so flat that you could easily fit inside my thoughts.
- There is no difference between your chest and your back.
- I could imagine you sliding under doors because you are so flat.
- It will be a waste of time to try to gauge your size.
- You appear so flat it is as though you are competing with your shadow.
- You have probably never hugged someone without them feeling your ribs.
- You look so flat, that it would be considered suicide to go outside on a windy day.
- You look so flat your fingers could do the job of a cotton bud.
- You look so flat, I could see your bones without trying hard.
- Your flat shape is evidence that the country is indeed in recession.
- Since you appear so flat, trying to massage you could come across as a murderous attempt.
- You look so flat, your legs remind me of toothpicks.
- I feel you will be too flat to be a model, no matter how slim they want you to look.
- You look so flat, just by laughing someone might think you might break in half.
- I doubt you were created in God’s image since you are this flat.
- No one will doubt if you told us you are staying in a refugee camp since you look so flat.
- You look so flat I can almost see your food go from your mouth to your stomach
1. Turning sideways makes you nearly invisible.
This roast is filled with humor to savage your flat friend. Flat people are always skinny and fragile like a twig.
This statement implies that they are so flat and straight like a ruler such that you really can’t differentiate between their sides and their back or front view.
Use this roast to jokingly poke fun at their skinny stature.
- Avoid wearing oversized clothes else we might have to start looking for you inside it.
2. As the flattest person alive, you should receive recognition.
Here is a toast filled with deep humor to tease your flat colleague. Aside, from a good dose of humor this roast possesses, it also uses hyperbole to emphasize how thin and microscopic they are.
By using this expression, you are implying that they are so thin but not saying it outrightly.
Moreover, this roast can be used to incite chuckles from your flat colleague and even everyone listening.
- Congratulations! You have been recognized by Guinness World Records as the flattest human being alive.
3. You are as flat as a piece of paper when examined closely.
Another creative way you can roast a flat person is to use the comparison technique as portrayed above. Saying they are as flat as a piece of paper has so much sting that will poke them hard.
However, be sure to say it in a light-hearted manner so that your intention of just giving out a friendly won’t be misunderstood.
- Stop lying on the floor. I almost trampled on you thinking you are a piece of paper.
4. You seem so flat that you could easily fit inside my thoughts.
This is a witty and hilarious expression to say to a flat person. For instance, someone who is flat walks in gingerly like they are twice their size, just get at them playfully using this roast above.
This roast hilariously describes their features, while using a vivid image for the description.
- You look so flat, you could fit into my mouth.
5. There is no difference between your chest and your back.
If you intend to burn your flat friend with the heat of words then the roast above is suitable for that purpose.
This statement jokingly highlights the flat features of someone, while creatively implying that they have no curves or edges as they are so straight like a stick.
Use this roast to make a light jest of your flat female friend.
- Your pointed nose is the only indicator that differentiates your front from your back view.
6. I could imagine you sliding under doors because you are so flat.
If you have just entered a roast battle with someone that is flat and there seem to be a lot of people you need to impress with witty roasts, then this roast and so many more that will be discussed in the progression of this article, are arguably the best to invoke laughter for the audience.
Above, is a hilarious statement to say to a flat person. This roast will throw everyone into laughter as it feeds them with mental imagery of a flat person sliding under doors.
- Flat people like you don’t need to unlock a door; all they need to do is pass underneath the door.
7. It will be a waste of time to try to gauge your size.
As a fashion designer, you are not exempted from having a good sense of humor. In fact, having a good sense of humor boosts sales and strengthens relationships.
If for instance, a flat person has come for measurement, before proceeding to take their measurement, tease them with the roast above and watch them grin widely.
Just be certain that they are the kind of clients who understand humor.
- Trying to measure you is like taking measurements for a doll, it’s a total waste of effort.
8. You appear so flat it is as though you are competing with your shadow.
Here is another creative thing you can say when in a word banter with a flat person. This roast uses comparison to describe their total flatness, implying that they are too flat but in a creative way.
This roast is certain to hit your flat friend and leave him vengeful.
- Even your shadow looks bigger than you.
9. You have probably never hugged someone without them feeling your ribs.
Here is another funny statement to say to a flat person. Flat people are so flat that you practically can see their internal structures and organs without the use of a microscope.
Use these exaggerated lines of humor to create a lively atmosphere especially when you are in a hangout.
- Your rib is the first thing that greets me anytime I hug you.
10. You look so flat, that it would be considered suicide to go outside on a windy day.
Jokingly roast your flat sibling with these lines of humor. Flat people are always scrawny and mostly underweight.
If care is not taken, jokes apart, they could be swept away by the winds. This statement implies that they are too skinny and as light has a feather, hence cannot resist greater force.
- You are so flat, going out in the wind, it is like feathers in a hurricane.
11. You look so flat your fingers could do the job of a cotton bud.
Skillfully roast your flat sibling with these amusing lines. Flat people are really flat, with no traces of fat anywhere.
Use this funny expression to roast a flat person, while being the cause of many people rolling in laughter.
- You look so flat, your tiny fingers can replace chopsticks.
12. You look so flat, I could see your bones without trying hard.
Another funny thing to say to a flat person is “You look so flat, I could see your bones without trying hard”.
This statement can either be used to poke fun at a tiny person or at the same time to caution someone who has been skipping meals to stop skipping meals because they are now looking so pale.
Whichever purpose aforementioned you want to use it for, the roast is certain to hit them hard.
- You look so flat, your bones are always out for window shopping.
13. Your flat shape is evidence that the country is indeed in recession.
If your flat friend is discussing the declining state of the economy, and inflation with you, then that moment is the right time to use the roast on them.
Tell them they don’t need to convince you about the devastating state of their economy, that they are proof of whatever is going on.
Creatively, you have called them flat and roasted them for being flat. If such a friend is the witty one they will definitely retaliate so be prepared for a comeback.
- You look so flat, your picture is the only thing that comes to my head while discussing the recession.
14. Since you appear so flat, trying to massage you could come across as a murderous attempt.
Humorously roast your flat friend who is persuading you to a spa date. Tell them creatively using this roast that they don’t need one because it is equivalent to murdering them as they are too flat.
This is sure to elicit laughter from them and even a reaction as little as throwing things playfully towards you.
- You look so flat, I can touch your internal organs while trying to massage you.
15. You look so flat, your legs remind me of toothpicks.
This is another hilarious description to use to tease a flat person. Flat people certainly have tiny legs, which is what this roast implies. You can use this roast to make fun of a friend or a relative.
16. I feel you will be too flat to be a model, no matter how slim they want you to look.
This is a subtle shade to sting a flat person. Most flat automatically assume that because they are flat, they are automatically models, which is where this sarcastic roast surfaces.
This roast ridicules their notion that being flat makes them models and taunts them that they are not models but hungry and should eat good food rather than deceive themselves.
- With your flat shape and tiny legs, it will be difficult for a two-year-old to walk in your shoes.
17. You look so flat, just by laughing someone might think you might break in half.
Here is a classic roast to make jest of a flat person in a way that will draw reactions from them. This roast implies that flat persons are fragile and should be treated with care.
- Hey flat man, I heard laughing makes all your bones creak.
18. I doubt you were created in God’s image since you are this flat.
Another classic burner for a flat person is “I doubt you were created in God’s image since you are this flat”.
Saying they don’t look like God’s creatures because they are flat will sting them hard, and leave them red.
- If God created everyone in his image, you are another example of God’s great sense of humor.
19. No one will doubt if you told us you are staying in a refugee camp since you look so flat.
This is for your very thin friend who almost has the same width as a broom.
Saying they look like one to have stayed in a refugee camp implies that they are flat and frail-looking because they are malnourished.
- You look so flat, you had fit in refugee fundraising ads.
20. You look so flat I can almost see your food go from your mouth to your stomach.
When your friend says they are satisfied with being flat, make jest of them using this roast above.
By using this roast, you are outrightly reminding them of their bony structure, and ridiculing them for feigning being satisfied about that.
A hilarious way to say ” Who is satisfied with being flat?”
- You look so flat, slowly, I can easily see your digestion process from the outside.