20 Things to Say When Someone Asked You to Roast Them

Roasting someone is a way to poke fun at them in a lighthearted and humorous way.

But sometimes, it can be hard to come up with things to say when someone asks you to roast them. In this light, I have curated 20 things to say when someone asks you to roast them.

They include puns, sarcasm, witty statements, and one-liners. So, whether you’re looking for something mild or something a bit more edgy, you’ll find something to fit the bill on this list.

Ready to have a good laugh? Let’s get started!

Table of Contents

Here are 20 Things to say when someone asked you to roast them

Are you sure you want me to roast you? Last time, someone left looking well done.
A roast? Well, I hope you have insurance for emotional burns.
Bravery level: asking for a roast. Get ready for the heat!
Roasting you is like a comedy workout – it’ll hurt a bit, but you’ll thank me later.
Your sense of style is so outdated, it looks like you bought your clothes at a thrift store.
You’re as useful as a screen door on a submarine – completely useless and out of place.
You’re as welcome as a skunk at a garden party – you’re not wanted, and everyone wishes you would leave.
Your brain is like a library – full of dusty old books that nobody wants to read.
Your face is like a math book – it makes me want to solve for X.
You’re like a broken elevator – you never go anywhere, and you let everyone down.
You’re like a computer error – frustrating, annoying, and there’s no easy fix.
You’re like a garbage can – you’re full of trash and everyone wants to take you out.
You’re like a car alarm – you’re loud, annoying, and no one wants to hear you.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Oh! Sorry, I forgot you have short-term memory.
Your presence is like a pop-up ad, annoying and unwanted.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I would be broke by now.
If laughter is the best medicine, then your face must be curing disease left and right.
I’m not saying you are ugly but if you were a potato, you’d be a nice couch potato.
I would insult you but nature has already done a great job on your face.
You’re so bad at multitasking. You can’t even walk and chew gum at the same time.

1. Are you sure you want me to roast you? Last time, someone left looking well done.

This is for your friend who loves to have a roast fight or word banter with you.

Assuming they walk up to you again and confidently walk up to you to roast them, then you can tease them with this mocking line to bruise a little of their ego and set them up for a good roast feast.

Are you sure you want us to do this? The last time, I remembered you going home with blood-shot eyes
You know I don’t want someone crying like a baby. You still have two minutes to have a re-think.

2. A roast? Well, I hope you have insurance for emotional burns.

Your friend is still hell-bent on you roasting him. You know we all have friends like that; they don’t learn their lesson once.

So, when they ask you to roast them, give them this response to see if they would have a change of mind.

Remind them of previous encounters and if they still have tough skin to accommodate some sassy roast. Their response will determine your next line of action.

You want me to roast you? I hope you came with a shield. Might be a bit harsh and piercing.
How is your emotional IQ; hope you have developed a better one from the last time. Else, I better not waste my roasts on some kiddo.

3. Bravery level: asking for a roast. Get ready for the heat!

Okay, I bet Mr. Stubborn still went ahead to scream “roast me” in your face. That’s fine then. Use this roast to tell them to brace themselves for the missiles, bomb, that are about to drop.

They wouldn’t deny the fact that you warned them.

You want a roast? That’s brave of you! I’ll give it to you straight – are you ready for the heat?
You’re really brave for asking for a roast. You better buckle up, because I’m about to turn up the heat!

4. Roasting you is like you a comedy workout – it’ll hurt a bit, but you’ll thank me later.

No more sweet talking or cajoling them into quitting from being roasted. They already clicked “Yes, I agree to….” to your terms and agreement so let the roast spree begin.

Why not give them a preamble of what they should be expecting- like a toaster that you’re; starting mild and slowly increasing the heat.

Roasting you is like a kind of mental workout, though it will hurt you but don’t worry you will come out stronger.

5. Your sense of style is so outdated, it looks like you bought your clothes at a thrift store.

Does your friend who begged you to roast him have a bad taste when it comes to fashion? Here’s a good way to start roasting him.

Tell them their sense of style is so outdated and it looks like they bought their clothes in a thrift store.

A thrift store is a store where you find worn clothes, clothes that are out of style and at a cheaper price.

He might not feel the heat yet but don’t worry. By the time you are done with him, he would have been roasted.

Is that Versace on you? I can tell that was their first version, and of course- you can only get stuff like this in a thrift store.

6. You’re as useful as a screen door on a submarine – completely useless and out of place.

Now that I see it, it is too late for them to back down. The roast battle is getting more intense and more interesting.

Increase the heat with this roast and watch them start repositioning themselves or feeling uncomfortable on the couch.

This roast is a complete bang! Starting off as a compliment but ending with an insult is really a good way to start making them feel the heat of your prowess.

Telling you to stay is as good as putting a screen door on a submarine – pointless and bound to sink any hope of good returns.

7. You’re as welcome as a skunk at a garden party – you’re not wanted, and everyone wishes you would leave.

This ironic roast is another classic response you can give to someone who wants you to roast him.

You can say it to them when you are having a parlor party with your other friends and they are trying to prove to everyone that they are tough.

Use this roast and watch their knees wobbling of this roast:

You’re like an unwelcome houseguest – everyone wishes you would leave, and nobody wants to see you again.

8. Your brain is like a library – full of dusty old books that nobody wants to read.

If your friend is a lover of classics and archaic stuff then this will be a perfect roast to use for him.

Here, you’re implying that you are not interested in their old ideas of knowledge and they should go get an update.

Well, this attribute is related to people of the older generations who are orthodox or traditional with their beliefs. Use this to roast that aged friend of yours:

Your brain is like an outdated encyclopedia- nobody wants to read the information inside.
Your brain is an outdated journal. Nobody wants to reference them.

9. Your face is like a math book – it makes me want to solve for X.

If your friend has a puzzled look or creases that look like a map showing routes to destinations, then this hilarious roast is apt for such a person.

Comparing their face to a math book is a mild way to insult them and make other people listening burst into laughter. Be sure you’re more than one when you want to make use of this roast.

Your face is like a Google map. Can it show me where my EX stays now?

10. You’re like a broken elevator – you never go anywhere, and you let everyone down.

We all have that friend who never keeps to his promises or words and as such, you have lost belief in them.

When such a friend asks you to roast them, don’t hesitate to use this piece. You’re not only roasting them but you are giving them a piece of your mind as a good friend.

You’re like a faulty escalator; always holding on to people and letting them down.

11. You’re like a computer error – frustrating, annoying, and there’s no easy fix.

This roast here is for your friend who is really annoying, troublesome, and always gives you a headache when you are around.

Now, that they asked you to roast them is the perfect time to let out your frustration in the roast.

Dealing with you is akin to encountering a computer error – persistently frustrating, endlessly annoying, and seemingly immune to a quick resolution.

12. You’re like a garbage can – you’re full of trash and everyone wants to take you out.

If your friend seems relaxed even with the ongoing wonder, press his angry button a little with this roast and watch him go from 100% happy to 0.

Trust me, you should be prepared for his comeback because he wouldn’t let it slide.

You’re like a pile of used papers; rumpled and meant to be discarded.

13. You’re like a car alarm – you’re loud, annoying, and no one wants to hear you

There is always this particular friend amongst us who doesn’t know how to talk in a subdued tone.

Such friends talk like there is a woofer speaker in their throat. This response can be perfect for them if they ask you to roast them.

You’re like a siren; loud, annoying, and unwelcomed.

14. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Oh! Sorry, I forgot you have short-term memory.

This one is for your younger sibling who has asked you to roast them and at the same time forget things a lot.

You really don’t need to stress yourself looking for a roast that hits perfectly. Just with a conceited smile, say

Two days ago, I asked you for my… total waste of time! You wouldn’t remember. You have short-term memory.

15. Your presence is like a pop-up ad, annoying and unwanted.

Another thing to say to your cute little sibling when they ask you to roast them. By this, you are buttressing on their annoying side.

I get so excited when you are not around. It’s called happiness.
You bring me so much joy when you are out of sight.

16. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I would be broke by now.

This is a classic burner you have here. With this clever roast, you are implying that they are dumb. It makes more sense and hits perfectly if they don’t talk about meaningful things in a conversation.

Shock me, say something intelligent.

17. If laughter is the best medicine, then your face must be curing disease left and right.

This is a very hilarious statement to utter to someone who has a very funny look. This roast is capable of evoking laughter even from the person being roasted.

Need some light-hearted jokes? Take a mirror and look at yourself.

18. I’m not saying you are ugly but if you were a potato, you’d be a really nice couch potato.

Tease your buddy who thinks he is a spec with these humorous lines. Trust me when I say this will really get to them because no one likes to be ugly let alone be compared to a potato.

If you were a fruit, you would be a grape. You are sour-looking.

19. I would insult you but nature has already done a great job on your face.

Another subtle roast for someone who wants to be roasted.

Here you are acting like you are pitying them but in the wider scope you’re trying to tell them that they are ugly and being ugly is enough pain to deal with. It will only be unfair if you roasted them.

I would insult you but your face is enough depression to deal with.

20. You’re so bad at multitasking. You can’t even walk and chew gum at the same time.

Finally, this roast is to poke fun at someone so bad at multitasking.

Saying they can’t walk and chew gum is just a funny joke to roast someone who lacks multitasking skills and a creative way to portray how bad they are with it.

You’re so bad at multitasking. You can eat and operate your phone at the same time.
You’re so bad at multitasking. You can sing and do the laundry at the same time.