We are going back in time for this article! The goal is to delve into the best insults, but this time with a little twist, it’s going to be insults given in a primitive style of English, old English.
Perhaps you have a knack for being archaic even down to how you throw jabs and burns at people then insulting them in old English would be a great choice.
These listed expressions could be shared among fellow linguists or Historians, it would be a great way to make an old pimple pop in your target’s forehead, after all, the best is gotten from the root.
Now let’s begin!
List of Twēntig Betstan Gremunga in ‘Eald Englisc’
- Gif ic gewilnode swa fēores, ic hit æt ðīnum lippum āwīpe.
- Is þīn drēam sē āgend wunað tō betwēonum, oþþe ċunnian ic þearf tō grīpan poppucorn?
- Ic þē midċunnige, ac þonne wē beƿegeno ƿēron ġaƿurfe.
- Gif ġelac is sē betsta læcedōm, þīn ġesīene sceal ādl gehǣlan ealne þone ǣld.
- Ēala, ic sōna forgīfe. Ċynne sē mind of minre ġespræce āwyrp ġeond þīnre tōcyme?
- Ic ġenēode ēaðmōdlīce on mōdġeƿit, mid ðam unƿæpnodan menn.
- Ne eom ic sīðfæt. Gif ðū wilt þæt ic ġesīene þīne dǣda, þū scealt ƿyrcan sum þing ƿurð gesīene.
- Ðū scealt ġeweorþan ġeboren on ǣtġædre ǣlċe for ðæm, þǣr mǣst fēorræ.
- Ic eom bysiġ nū ġerād. Mag ic forleosan þē sumum ōðrum tīman?
- Sē ēce ƿeg þū ābeorgan scealt þē forlǣtan, sēƿiðe læðre ġif þū crāwlst on anes cicnes eaxle and ƿaitast.
- Ic sēde þē tō ġān ūte and sƿingan, ac ic ne ƿilnode þæt þū brēostan ƿurþan.
- Ic fērige tō ġesīene þing on ðīnum gesihðe, ac ic ne mæg ġet mīn heafod þæt fǣre up on mīnum āgenan eaxele.
- Gif ic āƿerp stæf, ƿilt þū lēofan?
- Ɲidrǣft ġelēafan is þæs līċes lādġesteald ƿīð unƿīsdōm.
- Ic ġenēode þē, ac lēafleas þū þec sēlran dydest.
- Sīest ðū æfre swā unƿīs, oþþe is tō dæġes gehātun?
- Ic þē hit āsprece, ac ic ne ġebēte nǣnne crān.
- Se lǣsta sīð ic āsāƿ ānes þinges þē gelīċ, ic hit āƿorpen.
- Ðū ne eart unwīs; þū hæfst anīġ geliēƿe hwonne þū þencað.
- Ic nāt hwæt þīn fruman is, ac ic grīðlīce mæge þæt hit sƿēoran sceal.
Gif ic gewilnode swa fēores, ic hit æt ðīnum lippum āwīpe.
That phrase translates to “If I wanted a gif of life, I’d wipe it on your lips.” It’s a clever insult because it’s unexpected and plays with the idea of a gif as a short, repetitive loop, implying that life would be repetitive and mundane if it were a gif.
Additionally, the imagery of wiping something on someone’s lips adds a layer of insult by implying distaste or disgust. Overall, it’s a creative and cutting insult that relies on wordplay and imagery.
- Your lips are good to make gif for sure.
- I am really sorry that your lips look like a meme for big lips.
Is þīn drēam sē āgend wunað tō betwēonum, oþþe ċunnian ic þearf tō grīpan poppucorn?
The interpretation of this statement is that “Is your dream the owner dwelling in between, or do I need to grasp popcorn?”
This insult is quite cryptic but suggests that the speaker finds the accused’s dreams either indecisive or trivial, comparing them to a situation where someone is caught in between decisions or actions, perhaps implying a lack of ambition or clarity in the accused’s aspirations.
- Do I need to grab a popcorn just because I want to listen to your dream?
- What do you need popcorn for when you have enough in your dream?
Ic þē midċunnige, ac þonne wē beƿegeno ƿēron ġaƿurfe.
What this sentence translates to is that “I accused you, but then when we were together we were betrayed.”
This one-liner insult implies a sense of betrayal or disappointment, suggesting that even though the speaker accuses the accused, there was a sense of trust previously, which was then broken or betrayed.
- You are such a trustworthy betrayal my friend.
- I told you something in secret and got betrayed openly.
Gif ġelac is sē betsta læcedōm, þīn ġesīene sceal ādl gehǣlan ealne þone ǣld.
The translation of this statement to contemporary English is “If laughter is the best medicine, your sight must heal all diseases.”
An expression is an old English insult because it employs sarcasm, suggesting that if laughter truly has healing powers, then merely seeing the accused should cure all ailments, implying that the accused’s presence is not uplifting or positive.
- Your face must heal a lot of nasty diseases.
- I wish you know how your face does a lot of weird things to people.
Ēala, ic sōna forgīfe. Ċynne sē mid of minre ġespræce āwyrp ġeond þīnre tōcyme?
“Lo, I quickly forgive. Shall he who throws a spear out of my speech through your arrival?”
This insult means metaphorical language, suggesting that the accused’s presence disrupts the speaker’s words or intentions, perhaps implying that the accused’s influence is disruptive or unwelcome.
- Your forgiveness is as fleeting as a gust of wind, easily blown away by the slightest breeze of my presence.
- You stumble in your attempts at eloquence, hurling insults like clumsy javelins that fall short of their mark.
Ic ġenēode ēaðmōdlīce on mōdġeƿit, mid ðam unƿæpnodan menn.
What this means in English is “I endured humbly in mind’s torment, with the unarmed man.”
A one-liner insult suggests that the speaker endured the recipient’s torment or annoyance with humility, even though the recipient lacked the ability to cause harm or threat.
- In the labyrinth of my thoughts, I bore the weight of torment with a humility that belied the strength within.
- Though unarmed in the face of adversity, I stood firm, unwavering against the onslaught of mental anguish.
Ne eom ic sīðfæt. Gif ðū wilt þæt ic ġesīene þīne dǣda, þū scealt ƿyrcan sum þing ƿurð gesīene.
What does translate is “I am not journey-ready. If you want me to see your deeds, you must make something worth seeing.”
Here, the speaker dismisses the idea of being ready for a journey, implying that the recipient’s actions or behavior are not worth witnessing or acknowledging.
- Your lack of readiness is a testament to your ineptitude, a glaring flaw in the face of those who stride confidently forward.
- If your vision is to behold my deeds, then prepare yourself for disappointment, for they surpass the limits of your narrow perception.
Ðū scealt ġeweorþan ġeboren on ǣtġædre ǣlċe for ðæm, þǣr mǣst fēorræ.
“You shall become born in eternal ignominy for that, where most remote.”
This insult suggests that the recipient will be remembered or become notorious for their actions, even in a distant future.
- Your deeds shall etch your name into the annals of eternal shame.
- In the realm of infamy, you will take your first breath, condemned to dwell in the remotest corners of disgrace for your actions.
Ic eom bysiġ nū ġerād. Mag ic forleosan þē sumum ōðrum tīman?
“I am busy now preparing. May I lose you some other time?”
A line like this is an insult in Old English because it implies that the speaker is too busy to deal with the recipient at the moment and sarcastically suggests postponing the interaction to a later time.
- I would gladly lose you anytime and any day.
- You are not my priority and I am happy to announce that.
Sē ēce ƿeg þū ābeorgan scealt þē forlǣtan, sēƿiðe læðre ġif þū crāwlst on anes cicnes eaxle and ƿaitast.
“The eternal path you must abandon yourself, very hateful if you crawl on an ass’s shoulder and watch.”
A statement like this metaphorically suggests that the recipient should abandon themselves on an eternal path, implying that they are unpleasant or unwelcome.
It further suggests that their actions are akin to crawling on the shoulder of a donkey, indicating foolishness.
- Abandon your futile pursuit of the eternal path, for your presence pollutes it with contempt.
- Your despicable nature stains the purity of the eternal journey.
Ic sēde þē tō ġān ūte and sƿingan, ac ic ne ƿilnode þæt þū brēostan ƿurþan.
For folks who like to jab in Old English this translates to “I told you to go out and play, but I didn’t want you to become a nuisance.”
This implies that the recipient’s presence or behavior is unwanted or bothersome, comparing them to a nuisance.
- You went out to become a nuisance and not to play.
- You don’t need to stop being a nuisance and start playing.
Ic fērige tō ġesīene þing on ðīnum gesihðe, ac ic ne mæg ġet mīn heafod þæt fǣre up on mīnum āgenan eaxele.
“I bring things to be seen in your sight, but I cannot yet carry my head that goes up on my own shoulder.”
It suggests that the speaker presents things for the recipient to see or consider but implies that the recipient is unable to comprehend or acknowledge them properly.
- You boast of bringing sights to behold, yet your arrogance is undercut by your inability to bear the weight of your own head upon your shoulders.
- Your promise of presenting wonders falls flat in the face of your own physical shortcomings.
Gif ic āƿerp stæf, ƿilt þū lēofan?
The translation of these sentences is “If I throw a staff, will you believe?”
It is a good insult that sarcastically questions the recipient’s credibility or gullibility, implying that they would believe something absurd or false.
If you’re looking for hot jabs in Old English, this would do the trick.
- You are never going to believe, even after the Red sea has splitted.
- You have no trust in anyone, even with a staff.
Ɲidrǣft ġelēafan is þæs līċes lādġesteald ƿīð unƿīsdōm.
Another hot one-liner insult is this one before your eyes which translates to “Weak faith is the body’s lodestone against foolishness.”
It means that the recipient’s lack of faith or belief serves as a magnet for foolishness or ignorance. You can share this line with your needy friends that are into language or linguistics.
- You are so foolish and it is highly known to you.
- Foolishness must have been your first name.
Ic ġenēode þē, ac lēafleas þū þec sēlran dydest.
The sophistication in Old English makes it very effective when delivering an insult line because it will burn. What this means is that “I reproached you, but faithless you did yourself better.”
What the expression means is that the recipient disregarded or ignored the speaker’s reprimand, choosing to act in a faithless or disloyal manner.
- You have no faith and it’s weird you want to walk on water.
- Walking on water needs faith, you’ll sink in a minute.
Sīest ðū æfre swā unƿīs, oþþe is tō dæġes gehātun?
Another way to call someone foolish in Old English words is this expression that means, “Do you ever see so unwise, or is it too bright?”
It sarcastically questions the recipient’s wisdom or intelligence, suggesting that their foolishness is glaringly obvious.
- The brightest you’ve ever been is on a sunny day.
- Your wisdom lacks wit and brightness.
Ic þē hit āsprece, ac ic ne ġebēte næ ̄ nne crān.
In modern day English, this translates to “I told you, but I don’t repair any injury.”
This insult implies that the speaker has warned the recipient, but they are unwilling to remedy or acknowledge any harm caused.
- Your injury can not be repaired, it is special.
- I don’t repair the injury but your ear is injured.
Se lǣsta sīð ic āsāƿ ānes þinges þē gelīċ, ic hit āƿorpen.
“The least journey I saw of anything like you, I threw it away.”
It suggests that the speaker encountered something resembling the recipient but promptly discarded it, implying their low regard or disdain for the recipient.
- When I hear a trip that concerns you, my home suddenly feels like paradise.
- Paradise is my home whenever I see you no longer occupy my space.
Ðū ne eart unwīs; þū hæfst anīġ geliēƿe hwonne þū þencað.
“You are not unwise; you have faith whenever you think.”
An expression like this is an insult that sarcastically suggests that the recipient is not lacking in wisdom but rather has faith whenever they think, implying that their beliefs are foolish or misguided.
- You are not wise but your faith has made you believe so.
- Faith is required for wisdom, you lack faith.
Ic nāt hwæt þīn fruman is, ac ic grīðlīce mæge þæt hit sƿēoran sceal.
“I don’t know what your beginning is, but I can seriously say that it shall swear.”
It is a one-liner insult that means that there’s uncertainty about the recipient’s origin or background but suggests with confidence that it will lead to trouble.
- Your terrible beginning has foreseen your ending.
- I can foresee your ending, you have a weak beginning.