Do you wish to roast someone who is a total nerd? Nerds are a special breed who are often admired for their intelligence and unique interests. But sometimes, they need to be taken down a notch.
Whether they are obsessed with codes, or they spend all their time buried in books; whatever the case, this article is here to provide you with some epic roasts to use on them.
The roasts include savage one-liners, sarcasm, deep humor, and light-hearted jokes and are good enough to humble even the most confident of nerds.
So, sit back and enjoy this article!
Below are the 30 Best Roasts For Nerds.
- Why does a nerd have no friends? Because they prefer to hang out with computers than real beings.
- Why does the geek wear glasses? Because he can’t C#.
- What is typical fun for a nerd- a collection of comic books
- I heard you went to the grocery store with a calculator to figure out the best prices.
- You probably have a theorem named after you because you are such a nerd.
- You are so nerdy that Albert Einstein would have looked like a jock.
- I heard you have an arm tattoo of the elements of the periodic table.
- Your girlfriend broke up with you because you kept talking about quantum physics over coffee on a romantic date.
- I would call you a nerd, but that would be disrespectful to true nerds.
- Your password is probably so complex that even you struggle to remember it.
- I bet that you own more action figures than friends.
- You are such a nerd that binary codes appear in your dreams.
- Social skills would be your ultimate enemy if you were a superhero
- Your idea of flirting is correcting someone’s grammar online.
- You are such a nerd that your pet has a scientific name.
- You are the cause behind the existence of the term “nerd”.
- You are such a nerd that everything you say in arguments looks like launch codes.
- You would undoubtedly still not be my type even if you were employed by a keyboard company.
- I heard you went to the gym to improve your calculus abilities.
- Why did the nerd bring a ladder to a clubhouse? Because he wants to attain greater heights.
- Your jokes are so dry, they could power a desert solar panel.
- You are so boring that all you dream about is algorithms.
- I’d tell you to get a life, but that would require an upgrade to your operating system.
- I don’t have to be a nerd to be smarter than you.
- I’d rather be a jerk all day than be a nerd.
- I feel sorry for you for choosing to be a nerd.
- Waiting for a nerd to go party is kike waiting for parallel lines to meet.
- As a nerd, the only thing that amuses you are mathematical problems.
- Nerds and eyeglasses are a match made in heaven.
- You spend too much time researching, you will soon become a human AI.
1. Why does a nerd have no friends? Because they prefer to hang out with computers than real beings.
This roast is a light-hearted one and is great at drawing smiles from your nerd friend.
The statement has bouts of truth in it, in the sense that nerds are introverted people and don’t have any friends or may have just one or two. Nerds or geeks prefer to be on codes or books all day rather than hanging out with friends.
Use this light-hearted roast for your nerd friend who complains about being lonely.
- You would have considered calling me a friend if I was a computer software.
2. Why does the geek wear glasses? Because he can’t C#.
This is another classic roast for your friend who is a nerd. And it is a great one to use in a gathering. Here there is a play on the word ” C” which denotes “see” to depict their love for codes.
Also, the roast affirms the notion that almost all geeks wear glasses. So, don’t hold back in roasting your nerd friend with glasses using this classic pun.
- Everyone needs oxygen to survive, you nerds need eyeglasses with thick frames.
3. What is a typical fun for a nerd- a collection of comic books
Here is a light shade for a nerd. This statement ridicules the idea of a nerd having fun. When a nerd says he is having fun, please don’t be swayed by his assertion.
Fun to them means either reading comic books or playing word games. Obviously, not the kind of fun you are thinking of.
Use this roast to shade your friend who is a nerd the next time he says he is having “fun”.
- Your ways of having fun are the only way I could get close to boredom.
4. I heard you went to the grocery store with a calculator to figure out the best prices.
Another savage line to poke fun at a nerd. This statement demonstrates some nerds’ obsession with learning such as calculations, researching, reading, science, literature, etc.
Saying they went with their calculator to a grocery store to figure out the best prices is a statement filled with pure sarcasm to poke fun at them to get some good laughs.
- I heard you are so good with calculations that if you are to give robots exams, they might fail.
5. You probably have a theorem named after you because you are such a nerd.
Here is an exaggerated expression to get at an overly nerd person.
Some people display extremity at being a nerd that makes you wonder if they were the propounder of the concept nerd or if they just have a theory named after them because of their nerdy attributes.
Using this to mock a nerd is sure to draw some good laughs from the crowd.
- You are so familiar with the universe and its galaxies, there must be a planet named after you.
6. You are so nerdy that Albert Einstein would have looked like a jock.
Above is another sarcastic comment to tease a nerd.
This statement implies that the extent to which they are so nerdy even Albert Einstein, one of the greatest nerds that ever lived would have been looking up to them for schooling.
It is just a sarcastic way of taunting them for being a nerd.
- You are a nerd Promax, you would have been who Albert Einstein would have looked up to if he were alive.
7. I heard you have an arm tattoo of the elements of the periodic table.
Here is a hit roast for you when you are with the boys and your nerd friend is in the building. More effective is when you do a make-up belief like it is shown above.
You and the guys were having a random conversation, just chip in that nerd guy went to the tattoo store to have an arm of the elements of the periodic table.
Everyone, including the nerd guy, is going to laugh the moment you finish saying this roast because this roast is a relatable nerd joke.
- If you had kids, I am sure you would name them after the first 20 elements.
8. Your girlfriend broke up with you because you kept talking about quantum physics over coffee on a romantic date.
This roast jeer at a nerd relationship especially if they are such that they don’t have a successful relationship.
It is a statement to sneer at their nerdy lifestyle and the absence of a romantic relationship as a result, and those do not necessarily mean the scenario indeed happened.
Use this roast to tease your homie who is growing old and yet doesn’t have a better half except for romanticized video games.
- The only thing that could break
your heart is forgetting a quantum physics equation, not your girl leaving.
9. I would call you a nerd, but that would be disrespectful to true nerds.
Another scornful comment to make light jest of a nerd. Implying that calling them a nerd is disrespectful to other nerds buttresses the fact that they are so nerdy and cut short every fun going on in the world.
Use this roast to temporarily distract your nerd friend from being a nerd for just a day. It wouldn’t hurt, yeah?
- True nerds are more fun and less geeky than you appear to be.
10. Your password is probably so complex that even you struggle to remember it.
This is a humorous thing to say to ridicule a nerd’s complexity of things.
Saying they set up a password so complex that even they themselves can remember is a sarcastic thing to say that will put them up publicly for some good bouts of laughs.
- I heard the way to get your computer password is by solving mathematical calculus.
11. I bet that you own more action figures than friends.
A good roast to say to your nerd friend when they finally permit you to visit them. This is a jab at their introverted and secluded living which is abnormal for an average person.
Compared to a nerd, an average person will prefer having a handful of friends to being behind doors all day with some superhero figures like Star Wars, Superman, Captain America, etc.
- You own more action figures than you have friends because you are more eloquent around action figures than real people.
12. You are such a nerd that binary codes appear in your dreams.
Here is a quip to make fun of your colleague who is a nerd. The statement uses exaggerated descriptions to emphasize a nerd’s obsession.
Saying that they are so nerdy that their dreams are woven around binary codes is a funny joke to crack them up.
- You are such a nerd you solve mathematical problems in your dreams.
13. Social skills would be your ultimate enemy if you were a superhero.
A good response for that nerd neighbor who keeps turning down your invitation for a hangout.
Nerds are party bloopers and detest any social gatherings because they assume they don’t have a matched-up energy for such occasions, hence rather than trying so hard to fit in, they prefer to stay secluded.
Even though you know you will always get to know them every time you ask them out on dates, ask them again so that upon their refusal, you can roast them with this savage one-liner.
- If you were Superman, your green metros rock would be social skills.
14. Your idea of flirting is correcting someone’s grammar online.
Do you have a nerd friend who takes pleasure in correcting people’s grammar? Then this roast is for them.
Nerds are intelligent people and some of the way they exhibit their intelligence is by fishing out people’s grammatical mistakes.
There is nothing bad in doing that except they condescendingly correct people. So make a stellar expression using this roast on them.
- Your idea of showing your feelings to those you care about is correcting every grammatical blunder while listening to them talk.
15. You are such a nerd that your pet has a scientific name.
Another light-hearted roast for a nerd to emphasize their infatuation with science. Saying they gave their pet a scientific name is a funny thing to say to them that will make them smile.
Also, this roast can be used in a roast game with them.
- You are such a nerd, you name your pet after the periodic table.
16. You are the cause behind the existence of the term “nerd”.
Another line of exaggeration to scoff at their nerd lifestyle. This roast can be used for your siblings who bore you to death by spending their whole day on a computer screen.
With a good dose of humor, the roast will make your nerd sibling grin widely.
- To my understanding, you are the lord and personal savior of the word “nerd”
17. You are such a nerd that everything you say in arguments looks like launch codes.
Here is another nerd joke to say to a nerd especially when you are in a roast game with them. This is a relatable roast for a nerd and saying it will position you as someone good at roasting people.
- During any argument, all you say are alien languages, and no one understands it.
18. You would undoubtedly still not be my type even if you were employed by a keyboard company.
As a lady who has just been wooed by a nerd, you might want to appear intelligent and witty with your response, above is another nerd roast to use as a response to a nerd.
However, chances are that the nerd in particular might not back down because they find you witty enough for them. So be careful when using the roast.
- The only way I could be your type is if I were a new computer software.
19. I heard you went to the gym to improve your calculus abilities.
This is one of the best sarcastic roasts for the nerds and should be used when you are with the guys.
Saying they went to the gym to improve their calculus knowledge is a nice way to ridicule a nerd because nerds are too busy stuck with learning to have time for the gym.
You can day your roast this way:
- Guess who joined the gym today? Our nerd friend. Only that they didn’t go to work on their biceps but rather to improve their calculus abilities.
20. Why did the nerd bring a ladder to a clubhouse? Because he wants to attain greater heights.
A subtle shade to taunt a nerd. Implying that they brought a ladder to a clubhouse so they could attain greater heights is a hilarious attempt to ridicule their extreme seriousness in handling things.
- You are too serious, you make Isaac Newton jealous of your determination.
21. Your jokes are so dry, they could power a desert solar panel.
If your nerd friend sucks at telling jokes, then this roast is for them. It is rare to say nerds with a good streak of humor because they engage in a lot of boring stuff.
Use this roast to sting your nerd friend and to evoke laughter from people listening.
- Your jokes are so dry, they remind me of the Sahara Desert.
22. You are so boring that all you dream about is algorithms.
Another relatable nerd joke to ridicule a nerd. As earlier stated, nerds are boring people, even their fun is boring. By saying this statement, you are emphasizing their boring lifestyle and also expressing your displeasure about it.
- You are so boring all you dream about is calculus.
23. I’d tell you to get a life, but that would require an upgrade to your operating system.
A playful joke to tease your buddy who is a nerd.
By using this statement, you are indicating that nerds are so obsessed with codes and a little advice on them getting a life might be interpreted as them getting the latest operating system software.
This statement is so rich in humor and it’s directed towards nerds infatuations.
- Your operating system lacks a software called “fun” . Try upgrading.
24. I don’t have to be a nerd to be smarter than you.
This classic one-liner is for a saucy nerd. It’s not bad to bruise the ego of a nerd who feels they are better off than any other person because they perceives themselves to be intelligent.
Using this statement will hit them at the right spot, and will also humble them towards you.
- I was told nerds are mostly intelligent, seems you are an exception.
25. I’d rather be a jerk all day than be a nerd.
Another time-tested way to get even with a nerd who bullies others.
Saying you would rather stoop so low to being a jerk rather than a nerd is a biting remark that will deflate the ego of a nerd peradventure they were bragging to you earlier on.
- I would rather be at gunpoint than be a nerd.
26. I feel sorry for you for choosing to be a nerd.
Here’s another sarcasm for a nerd to make them feel pathetic. Telling them you are sorry to them for being a nerd is a way to ridicule them for being a nerd, and to also make them feel they have a problem.
- I feel sorry for you, you finally decided to give up on the fun part of life.
27. Waiting for a nerd to go to a party is like waiting for parallel lines to meet.
This is a witty toast to say to your friend who is a nerd. Nerds are suckers for parties and using this statement above buttresses the possibility of them attending one.
- The best way to make you sad is to invite you to a party to have fun.
28. As a nerd, the only thing that amuses you is mathematical problems.
Another funny roast to mock a nerd especially when they don’t know how to react to hilarious statements. Use this roast to poke fun at their obsession with numbers and calculations.
- In your case, solving mathematics is the same as watching a series of Breaking Bad.
29. Nerds and eyeglasses are a match made in heaven.
This roast makes subtle fun of a nerd’s identity which is eyeglasses. It is rare to find a nerd who doesn’t use glasses; glasses are a nerd’s trademark.
This roast is effective for your nerd especially when they find it hard to stay committed to a relationship.
- Your thick eye-glasses are the major reason I can call you a certified nerd
30. You spend too much time researching, you will soon become a human AI.
Nerds are so passionate about keeping up with new research, reading, and experimenting. If you have a friend who is obsessed with all of these, then use this roast to make fun of them.
- With so much research you might become a living chat Gpt.