20 Funny Roasts for Someone Who Says “Nobody Asked”

Funny Roasts for Someone Who Says "Nobody Asked"

You’ve probably heard the phrase “nobody asked” used by someone as a way to belittle or dismiss someone else’s opinion.

Well, we’re going to turn the tables on that phrase. In this article, I have come up with 20 clever and funny roasts for people who use it.

They consist of sarcasm, humor, punchlines, and one-liners that can be used in word banter, roast show, office, hangout, etc.

So, get ready to laugh, and don’t take it personally if your favorite phrase is the target of a roast.

 Ready for some roasts? Let’s dive in!

Table of Contents

Here are 20 Funny Roasts for Someone Who Says “Nobody Asked”

  1. Your ‘nobody asked’ comments are like unsolicited ads – annoying, irrelevant, and everyone wishes they could skip them.
  2. Congratulations on being the human version of ‘nobody asked’ – the superhero nobody needs.
  3.  If I had a dollar for every time you said ‘nobody asked,’ I could hire someone to listen to your opinions.
  4. Your ‘nobody asked’ attitude is so iconic; even Siri is jealous of your unsolicited input.
  5. You’re like a walking ‘nobody asked’ billboard – promoting irrelevance wherever you go.
  6.  If ‘nobody asked’ were a talent, you’d be a world champion by now.
  7. Your ‘nobody asked’ remarks are like spam emails – nobody wants them, and they clutter up the conversation.
  8. If ‘nobody asked’ were a fragrance, you’d be wearing it as your signature scent.
  9. Your ‘nobody asked’ moments are the reason why mute buttons were invented.
  10. If ‘nobody asked’ were a sport, you’d be the undisputed champion of the world.
  11. Your ‘nobody asked’ comments are like the unwanted toppings on a pizza – nobody ordered them, but here they are.
  12. You’re the Michelangelo of ‘nobody asked’ masterpieces – sculpting irrelevance with every fiber.
  13. I hear ‘nobody asked’ is the new black, and you’re the trendsetter.
  14. Your ‘nobody asked’ remarks are so legendary; they should have their section in the history books.
  15. If ‘nobody asked’ were a currency, you’d be rolling in riches. Too bad it’s worthless.
  16. You’re like a walking disclaimer – ‘nobody asked,’ but here’s my opinion anyway.
  17. Your ‘nobody asked’ comments are the unsung heroes of awkward silences everywhere.
  18. If ‘Nobody Asked’ were a song, you’d be topping the charts with your hit single of irrelevance.
  19. You’re the unsolicited advice guru – ‘nobody asked,’ but you’re offering it anyway.
  20. Your ‘nobody asked’ philosophy is so avant-garde; that even philosophers are questioning its relevance.

1. Your ‘nobody asked’ comments are like unsolicited ads – annoying, irrelevant, and everyone wishes they could skip them…

There are two categories of people I can’t tolerate, one is those who have nothing to say but criticize everything every other person says.

The other person is the one that feels pompous to give out their opinions except if being summoned. And if not being summoned to talk, they will keep their ideas to themselves.

These people wait for things to flop, so they can emerge as a problem-solving machine with their people, and upon being asked why they didn’t share their opinion before now; they are quick to say ‘nobody asked’.

If you get pissed by this certain kind of person then be sure when next they pass their nobody asked comment, give them a counterattack to dismiss them.

  • “Nobody asked?” Well, maybe they should have asked you to be less of a Killjoy!

2. Congratulations on being the human version of ‘nobody asked’ – the superhero nobody needs

People who say nobody asked need to be replied to in a sarcastic way to shut them off their annoying favorite saying. Here is one sarcastic comment you can use to get at someone who says “Nobody asked”.

  •  I didn’t know I was talking to the Zamunda of “nobody asked”- well, the feeling is mutual; nobody needs you…

3. If I had a dollar for every time you said ‘nobody asked,’ I could hire someone to listen to your opinions

You know another annoying thing about people who say ‘nobody asked’? They go about saying ‘nobody asked’ when they could have said what they have to say or better still, shut up.

Use this roast to express your displeasure at their constant annoying watchword and to shut them down.

  • Perhaps, your nobody-asked auto-response is a mask you use to conceal your lack of intellect.

4. Your ‘nobody asked’ attitude is so iconic; even Siri is jealous of your unsolicited input

Tell someone who says nobody asked that they can do better other than these computerized two-words, that everyone is tired of listening to. And the annoying last of it is that it is unsolicited and unwelcomed.

Deliver your roast with this exaggerated expressions like this.

  • If you were a BOT, you would be a machine for designing unsolicited advice.

5. You’re like a walking ‘nobody asked’ billboard – promoting irrelevance wherever you go.

Truth be told, people who say “nobody asked” are always causing a nuisance with the repetition of the word, thus, making them irrelevant.

This roast can be used as a piece of advice or a way to shut them down. However, you can use this roast to achieve either of these two purposes.

  • Yes, nobody asked, because we don’t want to listen to irrelevant opinions from you.

6. If ‘nobody asked’ were a talent, you’d be a world champion by now.

Telling people they say nobody asked too much might not hit well, rather use this above roast to write them off and stylishly tell them they are abusing the words as a result of too much usage by them.

  • If “nobody asked” were a human being, you would have been charged with abuse by now.

7. Your ‘nobody asked’ remarks are like spam emails – nobody wants them, and they clutter up the conversation.

Use this roast to convey to someone who says nobody asked that you are tired of listening to them saying nobody asked to the point that you don’t listen to them anymore.

And just like spam, they are unwanted and abandoned in one part of the brain.

  • Like spam emails, your nobody remarks are ignored and not attended to.

8. If ‘nobody asked’ were a fragrance, you’d be wearing it as your signature scent.

Here is another roast to express someone’s excessive use of the expression “nobody asked”. Also, this roast uses figurative expression to ridicule their usage of the phrase, nobody asked.

  • You could as well make ‘nobody asked’ your addendum.

9. Your ‘nobody asked’ moments are the reason why mute buttons were invented.

The next time someone says ‘nobody asked’, be joyous if they said it because this time around you are making them regret saying the phrase.

And this can only be achievable when you use the roast above as a response to them. This response is sure to hit them so hard that they might keep mute for a while.

  • Your ‘nobody asked’ moments are the reason why earphones were invented.

10. If ‘nobody asked’ were a sport, you’d be the undisputed champion of the world.

Another tease for someone who says “nobody asked effortlessly. This is a mild way to hit on them for always saying ‘nobody asked’, and tell them of your dissatisfaction of you listening to them rant the phrase.

  • If nobody asked’ were a sport, you’d win a gold medal.

11. Your ‘nobody asked’ comments are like the unwanted toppings on a pizza – nobody ordered them, but here they are.

People who say ‘nobody asked’ never stop to annoy one. Sometimes you feel like throwing a punch at them or kicking them out of the place.

However, without resulting in physical assault, there are creative ways you can sting them. 

And this roast is a good one to get that moment of silence you crave.

  • Your ‘nobody asked’ comments are like pineapple on pizza – divisive, unwelcome, and ultimately forgettable.

12. You’re the Michelangelo of ‘nobody asked’ masterpieces – sculpting irrelevance with every fiber.

Here is a play on words for someone who says ‘nobody asked’.

The roast refers to Italian professional sculptors and painters to ridicule their effort and expertise in saying irrelevant phrases like it’s a masterpiece. Use this witty statement to shun them:

  • You could have a whole gallery exhibit of ‘nobody asked’ masterpieces, but nobody would come to see it.

13. I hear ‘nobody asked’ is the new black, and you’re the trendsetter.

Another line of exaggeration to roast someone who says nobody asked often. With this roast, you can air your dislike about their excessive use of the phrase, but in a cute way that will possibly make them smile.

  • You should be given an award for the slang of the year- ‘nobody asked’

14. Your ‘nobody asked’ remarks are so legendary; they should have their section in the history books.

This is another mild roast to use for someone who says ‘nobody asked’ every time. The roast implies that they have overused the nobody asked remarks that it ought to have a section in the history book.

This roast can be best used in a roast party or word banter.

  • ‘Your ‘nobody asked’ remarks deserve their own chapter in a history book, right between ‘The Black Plague’ and ‘The Dark Ages’

15. If ‘nobody asked’ were a currency, you’d be rolling in riches. Too bad it’s worthless.

Give this comeback insult to someone who says nobody asked, and who is battling with their finances.

This roast will really hit them at the right place. You can use this roast at a word banter or roast fight to get back at them.

  • The only thing you are good at doing is saying “Nobody asked” while your finances are in a precarious condition.

16. You’re like a walking disclaimer – ‘nobody asked,’ but here’s my opinion anyway.

This is for that adamant person who has refused to stop saying nobody asked. You have spoken to them in clear words but they still go bullheaded with the usage of the phrase.

They don’t need your opinion but don’t back down. Use this roast to scream your irritation to them.

  • Your ‘nobody asked’ remarks are like a waiver of liability – nobody wants them, but you make them sign them anyway.

17. Your ‘nobody asked’ comments are the unsung heroes of awkward silences everywhere.

You know there is always this silence that hangs in the air whenever someone says nobody asked.

The silence is because everyone is tired of listening to them say nobody asked over and over again.

You see them with a smirk on their faces and all those reactions that convey disinterest in what they have to say.

  • You’re a one-man band of ‘nobody asked’ comments, playing the song of awkward silence.

18. If ‘Nobody Asked’ were a song, you’d be topping the charts with your hit single of irrelevance.

Use this expression to roast someone who says nobody asked, and also to comment on their irrelevance indirectly. This roast is sure to make them red in the face.

  • If ‘Nobody Asked’ were a song, it would be the number one earworm on the ‘hit parade of awkwardness’

19. You’re the unsolicited advice guru – ‘nobody asked,’ but you’re offering it anyway.

This is perfect for someone who says nobody asked and goes to still offer people unsolicited advice. Use this roast to get them off your business and stop them from offering further unsolicited advice to you.

  • Since you say ‘nobody asked’ you should as well stop forcing your opinion on people.

20. Your ‘nobody asked’ philosophy is so avant-garde; that even philosophers are questioning its relevance.

Here is a creative way to tell someone who says nobody asked that their phrase is totally meaningless and out of context most of the time. 

If you want such a person to burn them this final roast should be used on them. Make sure you use a sarcastic tone when you want to deliver this roast.

  • Comprehending your ‘nobody asked’ philosophy is like asking whether a tree falling in the forest makes a sound – no answer, only more confusion.

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