20 Funny Roasts for Someone Who Says ‘You’re Adopted’

Funny Roasts for Someone Who Says You're Adopted

When someone tries to pick at you, the best thing to do is to turn the tables on them. And to do that in most cases, you need a roast line.

That would be the case if you want to roast someone who reminds you of being adopted.

Since they may have said that kind of thing to get at you, you can use a roast to overturn their remarks; and remind them of the advantages and everything involved in being an adopted child. 

In this article, I’ll be walking you through funny roasts for someone who says ‘You’re adopted’. Read on to know more!

Table of Contents

20 Best Funny Roasts for Someone Who Says ‘You’re Adopted

Yeah, adopted… picked right off the shelf, the clearance section

Pick an unwavering stand and boast about it. You can always take pride in who you are and your story plus your journey as a human being.

With this line, you’re confirming being adopted but you’re reminding the person that you were picked right off the shelf, clearance section. 

This means you’re a child worth adopting due to the qualities you have and that people see in you.

Indirectly, you’re putting it to the person that they’re not that endowed if circumstances were to be switched and they have to be put up for adoption. 

As slight as it is, you need to be careful not to sound too confrontational with this and maintain using it as entertainment and nothing further intense.

  • Greatness was seen in me; the adoption favored my parents but yours still argues your relevance.

At least my parents chose me. You’re stuck with the ones you have

Shove the person to the corner for being insensitive. One of the best ways to resolve the issue of being called adopted by someone who intends to talk down on you is to come for their parents. 

To do that, you can use this line which pinpoints that at least your parents chose you after much deliberations, but those of the person had no choice but to remain stuck with them. 

This way, you’re making it clear to the person that they don’t stand a chance if selection was to be the case for them. 

  • Yeah, I’m adopted…My parents didn’t have to go with whatever you did.

My parents had good taste – they went for the premium model

Keep extolling your parents for being the real MVPs. While you can go straight to throwing roasts to get back at the person who remarked that you were adopted, you can choose to live above that and instead remind the person and others present that your parents had good taste, and they went for the premium model. 

While on the other hand, the person’s parents just had to go with what they birthed – be it good or bad. And their supposed good genes couldn’t even play a part.

  • Your parents didn’t get a chance to swap you, they would’ve given it a shot.

Being adopted means I got a bonus set of grandparents! You still gotta deal with just one pair

Jeer on the person for having less of old love than you. If you still have your grandparents from both sides alive, you can use that point to roast anyone who says you’re adopted. 

With this, you’re letting the person know you have a bonus set of grandpas from your adopted and biological parents, while the person has to manage only one pair. 

Now, being called adopted by the person doesn’t make any sense because you’re still at an advantage despite it being a derogatory remark.

  • I enjoy the thought and reality of having double parents; you can’t even dream about that.

If you think that’s a burn, wait till you hear about my biological parents’ fashion sense

Tackle them for thinking they burned you with that one. You have to always find ways to disappoint people who look down on you and you can apply roasts where necessary. 

With this line, you’re implying that if the person who says you’re adopted thinks it’s a burn for you, they should have a rethink, especially since they haven’t seen or heard about your biological parents’ fashion sense.

This means that you’re in no way less privileged by being adopted.

  • Funny how you thought that would hurt until you realize your parents didn’t plan your birth.

At least I have parents who actually wanted me. Maybe yours were just bad at hide-and-seek

Disappoint the person beyond their thoughts. Most people who like bullying others verbally seldom see themselves in that same point. 

With that said, it’s time for you to rewrite that narrative as you can make the person who said you’re adopted feel just as bad as they want you to feel for being called adopted.

  • Your parents must’ve had a hard time accepting the fact that all they’ve got is you.

Don’t worry, honey, my parents traded up when they got me. You should thank them for taking the hand-me-down

Paint your adoptive parents the heroes of the time. That’s the right way to see them anyway, even when someone says you’re adopted.

You’re implying to the person that your parents who adopted you are the lucky ones after all. 

Now, you’re saying that they should be thanked for making that move right away.

  • It’s funny that your parents spent this much to train a child they didn’t choose; just accepted.

Adoption: basically free shipping on a perfect kid. You wouldn’t know, though, wouldn’t you? 

Make adoption become that fine point of transition. If the person that you want to roast is mediocre in thinking, you can beat them at their game by using this roast line. 

What you’ll be doing with this line is to let the person understand that adoption in your case was a free shipping of a perfect kid to intentional parents. 

Also, you’re saying the person in question doesn’t even know about such an arrangement because they were birthed the other way.

  • You wouldn’t know what love at first sight means, even from your parents to you.

Being adopted just means I have a built-in mystery to solve. You, on the other hand, are an open book of disappointment

Make the person uncomfortable and offer laughter to your audience.

What you’ll be doing with this line is that you’re saying that being adopted only means you come with a built-in mystery to solve, which is why your parents adopted you. 

Meanwhile, the person on the other hand is an open book of disappointment, more reason why their parents didn’t have any choice than to accept them.

  • I’m so gifted, I was chosen at first sight. I can’t say the same for you, because you just popped from underskirt.

Adopted? I was welcomed to the family that deserves me. Did yours deserve you?

Give the person a hard pill to swallow

That’s one thing you can do with this line. You’ll be letting the person know that your present family deserves you.

To close in on the other person, you’re directing a rhetorical question to the person asking if their parents are as lucky and deserving of them as yours are to you. 

This roast line will not only shut the person up, but it’ll also open the floor for all forms of hilarious remarks from anyone who hears about your comeback to the person who says you’re adopted.

  • My family welcomed love when they brought me in, I can’t say the same for yours.

Call me Tarzan, because I swung into this family just fine. You, on the other hand, are still stuck in the jungle

Get a bit comfortable as you serve counter-lines. When you tell the person you’re roasting to call you Tarzan because you swung into your family just fine; you’re getting comfortable with roasting the person. 

And when you do, you’ll see how resounding your roasts become to the person who’s trying to put you down verbally.

Alongside, you’ll be implying that the person is stuck in the jungle just like monkeys not fit for domestication.

  • I should get comfortable because you’re not even feeling the love I get daily.

I’m more Iron Man than you’ll ever be. My parents built me, yours just forgot the instruction manual

Take a soft hit on the person’s parents. You can always fashion a roast to get the person’s attention that says you’re adopted. With this line, you’re telling the person that you’re more Iron Man than they’ll be. 

Further, you’re implying that your parents, although adoptive, built you up but theirs forgot their instruction manual for managing you. 

  • Yeah, adopted and you weren’t? You just needed to stay alive to be kept around. I was shown love.

You can call me Bruce Wayne, because my real family is way cooler than yours, even if I don’t know who they are

Take pride in the little things. 

Roasting someone doesn’t always have to go down the way everyone wants it to be – derogatory. You can roast someone without making remarks to paint them black. 

To achieve that, you can hold up your image and that of your parents or family. Taking pride in how cool your family is can be your little way to get back at someone for saying you’re adopted.

  • Your family has to deal with you, mine has known only love since I came around.

Yeah, adopted. Guess you could say I’m the chosen one… Chosen to have way more fun than you

Take advantage of the opportunity and be a bigger person. You can always get off the thought of being talked down on by someone who said you’re adopted. 

And that you can do with this line – where you’re saying you’re adopted but chosen…chosen to enjoy a more profitable life than the person.

  • My life is a cluster of love and kisses; yours don’t seem like anything other than utter acceptance. 

Well, at least I know I didn’t inherit your questionable fashion sense! 

Call the person out for being a bad dresser. For you to roast someone who just said you’re adopted, you can do that by calling out their callous way of dressing. 

So, you’re saying that although you’re adopted, well at least you didn’t inherit the person’s questionable fashion sense.

  • I’m adopted; good thing I didn’t disrupt some couple’s life with my presence like you did.

If being adopted means I don’t have to share your genetics, then I consider myself lucky! 

Trash the person and their genes. If you’re going to come up with a roast line that slaps, and is also funny, you can get that done by using this line. 

With this, you’re telling the person that you’re lucky if being adopted means you’re not sharing in their genetics. 

  • Adoption made my parents better, you saddled yours with tears.

I may be adopted, but at least I wasn’t born with your terrible sense of humor! 

Hit the person with savage sarcasm. Yeah, a bit of sarcasm with the possibility of inducing laughter can serve as a fine roast for someone who says you’re adopted. 

Using this line, you’re saying that you’re adopted but that’s not terrible compared to being born with the same terrible sense of humor as the person taunting you.

  • I’d rather be adopted than accepted because there’s no other option like your parents.

Being adopted means I got upgraded to a family that loves me unconditionally. Can’t say the same for you! 

Make them envy your family and life. Adoption may be a bad remark for some people, but you don’t have to see it that same way. 

With this roast line, you’re insinuating that being adopted means you got upgraded to a more loving family, and you can’t say the same for the person trolling you.

  • I was adopted, yeah. You don’t know what being loved from the get-go feels like.

You know what they say, being adopted means I was handpicked for greatness! 

Funny Roasts for Someone Who Says You're Adopted

Don’t stop mentioning how unique you are

If you want the person who says you’re adopted to rethink their statement, you can use this line which has you imply that being adopted means you were hand-picked for greatness – something the other person doesn’t know about.

  • You can’t relate to being chosen because you have value, well I do.

Being adopted means I have double the love and double the awesomeness! 

Drool at the love of having everything double. People don’t see adoption as an opportunity to have double parental coverage, well you can do that. 

That’s what you can do with this roast line – making the person understand adoption is a blessing in disguise for you.

  • Adoption brought blessings to my parents, yours got evicted when you came.

Final Words

Don’t feel dejected when someone says you’re adopted, their opinion doesn’t matter. But if you feel what they said and want to turn the tables on them, roasting them is the best approach.

This article has opened your eyes to many different ways to roast someone who says you’re adopted, make people laugh, and be happy in the end.

Just pick one or two of these lines and swing into action.


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