20 Funny Roasts to Say to a Mean Girl

Funny Roasts to Say to a Mean Girl

When mean girls make bitchy comments at you, you may struggle for a smart way to respond.

This is a widespread situation for many people at school. 

When mean girls make these bossy comments, you’ll feel weak and too lovely that you would just smile and agree with them.

But later, you get angry at yourself for not being more brutal and giving it back to them.

It’s not that you didn’t want to. You just couldn’t. This is because you didn’t have the right words at your disposal. 

That’s why I’ve written this article. It is to help you with various punchlines you can keep in your back pocket. 

So when a mean girl approaches you, even in their pack, you can deliver yourself and roast them to the point of burning. 

Our Top Favourite Roasts Punchlines Against Mean Girls

If you’re a quiet and reserved person, people may think you lack confidence. But with these lines, you can always put mean girls in their place:

1. The best part of you was what ran down your mother’s leg

Funny Roasts to Say to a Mean Girl

“The best part of you was what ran down your mother’s leg” is a classic roast from the kitchen icon Gordon Ramsey on Hot Ones. It works well as a punchline for mean girls. 

The roast still sticks to my head, about I think about it a lot. 

You can use this line to make any mean girl humble. If you’re the quiet type and these girls have always had their way with you, they will be surprised when you give this rebuttal. 

Here’s another creative way to put it:

  • The only good thing about you is what dripped from your mother.

2. That’s why people talk about you.

No matter how mean someone is, when you paint them with the illusion that they are being talked about by everyone around, they tend to become cautious and insecure. 

That’s the mind game you can play while roasting a mean girl. Telling them that “That’s why people talk about you” will elicit their intrigue, and it works for any situation. 

Meanwhile, it is a versatile line that can be used when you’re faced with bullies generally. 

No matter what the mean girl says to you, once you tell her that people talk about her because of her behavior, you can expect her to at least feel differently.

3. The only thing sharper than your tongue is your nose.

Instead of trying to be defensive when a mean girl says something hurtful about you, you can return the favor by also saying something about them.

That’s why I think the line, “The only thing sharper than your tongue is your nose,” is a perfect way to roast a mean girl. 

You are making fun of her facial appearance, which can easily make a girl feel insecure and zip up. 

Using this line is also a sleek way to shift the focus of the conversation from you to them. 

But while you’re doing that, you’re calling them out for having a sharp, uncultured tongue. 

Here are other exciting ways to put it:

  • Your nose is as sharp as your words.
  • Your tongue isn’t the only thing cutting around here – your nose is too.

4. You’re not even good at being mean. You’re just boring.

Another intelligent way to diss a mean girl is by telling her, “You’re not even good at being mean. You’re just boring”. 

I like this roast punchline because, from the get-go, you’re discrediting their intention. So let them know that you’re unfazed by their bully.

It is when you show that you don’t feel the way they want you to feel then they’ll be disappointed. 

Mean girls like to be the center of attraction. They like to be the plug of social life that everyone wants to cling to. They feed on ego.

So you can strip them of these cravings by saying they are boring

5. Bless your heart. Do you really think anyone cares about your opinion?

Funny Roasts to Say to a Mean Girl

The punchline starts as though you want to reply calmly or compliment them.

But when you ask the rhetorical question of caring about their opinion, it becomes clear that you’re unbothered about what they think or do about you. 

Sometimes, the best insult to give a person is to ignore them. Starve them of that attention they are craving.

So when you say you don’t care about their opinion, it means that no matter what comment they say against you, you’re unbothered. They’ll be demotivated to do mean things to you subsequently.

Alternatively, you can put it this way:

  • Do you honestly believe anyone gives a darn about what you think?
  • Sweetie, nobody’s losing sleep over your opinions, trust me.

6. I hope you have the day you deserve. 

Sometimes, to utterly roast a person, all you need is a statement that will hint at the nemesis you wish on them. 

You can tell a mean girl, ” I hope you have the day you deserve.” It may look like a prayer, but it indeed doesn’t sound good.

That’s why you have to be careful the way you say it so that it conveys the message clearly. 

When you use roasts like this one, it will also show that you’re cool, calm, and calculated, irrespective of what the girl might be doing to you. 

By wishing them a day that they deserve, you are indirectly saying they should have a terrible day because they are being very awful to you. 

7. I’m not going to reply to you. If you want my ‘cum-back,’ wipe it off your mom’s chin

If you’re looking for a nasty roast punchline to give a mean girl, you can tell her, “I’m not going to reply to you. If you want my ‘comeback,’ go wipe it off your mom’s chin.”

This one will be best suited in a situation when you’ve decided not to answer their heckling or insults until they say, “What’s wrong? Don’t have a comeback?”

So when you say something as nasty as “if you want my cum-back, scrape it from your mum’s teeth,” it will leave them with no words to reply with. They will feel disgusted and leave you alone. 

8. Quit trying to make ugly, mean girls happen. It’s not going to happen.

You can challenge a mean girl by roasting her with the line, “Quit trying to make ugly mean girls happen. It’s not going to happen.”

This is a sleek way to call her ugly and, at the same time, challenge them for being mean unnecessarily. 

Sometimes, this means people are doing so just to feel relevant. So you can make a bruise on their ego by saying this phrase to them. 

You can even say it in this style:

  • Stop pushing for a squad of meanies. It’s just not in the cards.
  • Are you trying to make mean girls cool? It’s not going to work, hon.

9. Next time, try a nicer insult. This one fell flat.

So the girl has probably said something harmful to you. That’s her nature. But instead of showing that you’re paid about it, let her know it didn’t get to you. 

So you’re not giving her the reaction she expects and then telling her her effort fell flat.

10. Maybe lay off the filters; they can’t fix everything

Another clever way you can diss a mean girl is to go after her appearance. If she’s the type that uses kilos of makeup to look good, that’s an excellent place to hit it where it hurts.

Thus, saying, “Maybe lay off the filters; they can’t fix everything,” sounds like one of the harshest things you can tell a girl, not to mention one that’s mean. 

When you can get them to stop thinking about hurting you and start thinking about their appearance in front of others, you’ve accomplished your mission of roasting them.

11. Thirst trap queen, but nobody’s thirsty.

Calling someone thirsty is demoralizing. But that’s what a mean girl deserves for going around trying to spoil people’s day with mean words or remarks. 

So you can tell the girl, “Thirst trap queen, but nobody’s thirsty.”

It means that they won’t get the attention they are seeking by trying to talk down on others, at least not from you. No matter how hard they try. 

It’s a clever way to discourage them from pushing any further with you. You can walk out of that place after telling them this roast. 

To put it more clearly, you can even say:

  • You’re setting traps, but no one’s taking the bait.
  • Queen of thirst traps, but no one’s parched.

12. Honey, confidence sells. Yours must be out of stock.

“Honey, confidence sells. Yours must be out of stock” is a playful roast you can make in reaction to a mean girl’s behavior. 

Indeed, confidence is attractive, but you’re telling her that she doesn’t have any. 

So, she might be acting mean because she lacks confidence. And when you say her confidence is “out of stock,” it’s a funny way of saying she doesn’t have any confidence left to use. 

If you want to rubbish her attitude but in a light-hearted way, this is the line you should use.

13. Someday, I hope you’ll find happiness. Today is not that day

It may sound like a genuine prayer from the start, as you hope the girl will be happy someday, but you add “not today” because she’s being mean.

Use this line to point out that her behavior isn’t making anyone happy, including herself. 

Here is an even more innovative way to put it:

  • Maybe one day you’ll be happy, but today’s not looking too good.
  • I wish you happiness, but it seems like today’s not your lucky day.

14. Sorry, negativity isn’t my accessory.

Sometimes, to roast someone, all it takes is to speak your mind. 

Tell her you don’t want to wear her negativity like an accessory.

It sounds playful, but it also passes the core message that you don’t like a mean girl and that her negativity isn’t welcome.

When mean girls come at to and you want to push back against her mean attitude, you can always say this one. 

  • Sorry, I don’t do negativity.
  • Negativity doesn’t suit my style, sorry.

15. You’re proof you can be pretty and forgettable.

Funny Roasts to Say to a Mean Girl

I think nothing is as hurtful for mean girls as when you tell them you’ll probably forget about them.

It’s a playful way of hinting that while she may look good, her personality isn’t admirable. You’re also urging her to change the way she acts or talks. 

16. You reflect insecurity more than sunshine.

Tell the grill that instead of spreading happiness like sunshine, she shows off your insecurities.

No young lady will take this likely. Indeed, It’s a playful roast that you can use to mention her mean behavior. It also hints that she lacks self-confidence. 

  • You show more insecurity than sunshine.

17. Maybe try being yourself, but then again…

“Maybe try being nice, but then again… ” Is an intelligent response you can give to a mean girl. 

Trust me, they will complete it in their heads. “maybe that’s asking too much.” 

It’s a playful way to let her know her mean behavior might not be who she really is. 

The best part of this roast is that it has an element of encouragement. One that tells her to be more sociable. 

18. I Can’t decide what’s brighter, your highlighter or your future

Another way to roast a mean girl is to poke fun at her intelligence and her appearance. 

I have heard this one in ceremonies more times than I could count. Sometimes, it’s even used when the girl is not being mean.

It’s a clever way to call her out for being focused on superficial things that might overshadow her chances for personal growth. 

19. Your filter can’t fix your personality.

Funny Roasts to Say to a Mean Girl

“Your filter can’t fix your personality” is a sassy roast and a bold way to call a mean girl out on her behavior

No matter how many filters the girl uses on her photos, it won’t change her mean personality.

This line is one of my favorites because it’s a direct way of telling her that her true self comes through despite any attempts to hide it with filters. 

  • Filters can’t fix a bad attitude
  • No filter can hide your mean streak.

20. Maybe try reading a book; it might improve your vocabulary.

Another way to roast a mean girl is to tell her all her actions and words to sound mean are not even close to being mean.

Tell her that maybe if she reads more, she’d sound smarter.

This line is a sassy way of saying she’ll be more clever with her insults if she learns more words.

Wrapping Up 

The problem with comments from mean girls, especially as a student, is that they are not rude enough to complain to the authorities, but they are still very annoying to deal with. 

So all you need are ideas on what kind of responses would be an intelligent way to deal with comments from mean girls. 


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