20 Funny Roasts for a Celtics Fan

Funny Roasts for a Celtics Fan

Since 1887 when the scottish football club was founded, they have gone from merely alleviating poverty in the irish-scots population to an iconic football team known the world over. 

The professional football club is in Glasgow, Scotland and has fans worldwide. They are a proud bunch. Which is why they have been slated for roasting.

If you have Celtics fans as friends, this article will equip you in your noble quest to make fun of fans of this football club. 

Dig in. 

20 Funny Roasts for a Celtics Fan

1. Did you see the Celtic fan with the step ladder at the football match?

Yeah, he heard his team were playing in the clouds today.

And he’s probably high on rum already too. Picture a football fan lumbering a step ladder around the stadium.

Why’s John carrying a ladder to the game?

He’s a die-hard Celtic fan, heard they’re playing in the clouds today!

What’s with the ladder in the parking lot?

Oh, typical Celtic fan, preparing for an aerial match!

2. How does a Celtic fan cool down during a heated match?

They stand next to a fan – preferably one with a Celtic scarf!

The roast here finds its humor in the play on the word fan. It is a mix of ideas that shows how a celtic fan calms himself during a game. 

Why is Sarah standing by the fan in winter?

She’s watching a Celtic match; said she needs the breeze to calm her nerves!

Why is Dave hugging the fan so tightly?

Must be a tense game; he’s a Celtic fan, needs all the support he can get!

3. Why did the Celtic fan bring a map to the stadium?

To find their way to the treble!

Last season must have been bad enough to make the celtic fan become so desperate. Every football fan knows a treble means three trophy wins in a season. This celtic fan hopes a map will lead his team to that glorious win. 

Why’s Tom studying a map at the match?

He’s a Celtic fan, trying to navigate his way to another treble victory!

Seen Amy with a map earlier; any idea why?

She’s a Celtic fan, searching for the path to glory – and probably the snack bar!

4. How many Celtic fans does it take to save the trophy from the dragon’s lair?

Just one, but they’ll claim they did it twice as fast as anyone else!

This is a good roast about a celtic fan after his team has lost a match. Boost his ego by asking the question, then let him know there was nothing his team could have done: the trophy was in a dragon’s lair. 

Why is Mark boasting about saving the trophy from the dragon’s lair?

He’s a Celtic fan; says he did it in record time, even if it’s the same old bulb!

How come Sarah’s bragging about saving the trophy?

She’s a Celtic fan, thinks she’s a champ at everything – even saving an imaginary trophy!

5. Why did the Celtic fan bring a shovel to the match?

 Funny Roasts for a Celtics Fan

To dig up memories of past victories!

What’s a fan supposed to do when his team is playing like a bunch of old ladies? This is what necessitates the shovel.

This roast is appropriate as an after game banter with a celtic fan. Make sure he’s not in too much of a rotten mood before using it though. 

Why’s Jack carrying a shovel to the stadium?

He’s a Celtic fan, trying to dig up memories of their glory days!

Why’s Emma dragging a shovel with her?

She’s a Celtic fan, hoping to unearth some old victories buried in the past!

6. What do you call a Celtic fan with half a brain?

Gifted – because they still support their team!

This roast is savage. Use with caution. It is premised on the fact that a celtic fan would continue to support his team even if the team is failing.

This is true of other fan bases too but since this is a roast, we aren’t ready to admit this truth about fan bases. 

Why’s Alex calling himself gifted?

He’s a Celtic fan, still backing his team despite all odds!

Why’s Kate saying she’s half-brained?

She’s a Celtic fan, proud of her undying loyalty to the team!

7. How does a Celtic fan count to ten?

0-1, 0-2, 0-3…

Every football fan can decipher why this counting style is significant. This is good bar room roast material for a celtic fan. On a game night when his team is losing, unleash this roast on the celtic fan. 

Why’s Mike counting like that?

He’s a Celtic fan, counting their league titles!

Why’s Lisa starting from zero each time?

She’s a Celtic fan, counting their European trophies – or lack thereof!

8. Why did the Celtic fan go to the doctor?

They thought they had green and white fever!

The colors of the celtics are green, gold and brown. This roast plays on the existence of a yellow fever. If there’s that, then a Celtic could be sick with a white or green fever. 

Why’s Steve at the doctor’s?

Thinks he’s got green and white fever – classic Celtic fan!

What’s up with Jane’s sudden doctor visit?

She’s convinced she’s got green and white fever; must be a Celtic fan thing!

9. Why don’t Celtic fans use bookmarks?

Because they’re used to losing their place!

This is a sub on Celtic fans for losing consecutive games. If you know any Celtic fans and are aware they have lost recently, this is the roast for them. 

Why’s Tom dog-earing all his books?

Says he’s a Celtic fan, used to losing his place!

Why’s Sarah folding the pages instead of using a bookmark?

She’s a Celtic fan, says it’s easier – always losing her place anyway!

10. How do you confuse a Celtic fan?

Paint half of the pitch green and the other half white!

This act is supposed to excite the Celtic fan but it doesn’t. The purpose of this roast is to rile the Celtic fan. How does he not get excited to see the pitch painted in the color of his football club? 

Why’s John scratching his head at the pitch?

Someone painted it half green, half white – Celtic fan’s worst nightmare!

Seen Dave looking puzzled on the field?

Yeah, they painted the pitch half green, half white – poor Celtic fan doesn’t know where to stand!

11. Why did the Celtic fan bring a magnifying glass to the match?

To search for their chance of winning!

This roast suggests that the chances of winning for the Celtics at that game is so tiny. Which is why this fan appeared with a magnifying glass. 

Why’s Emma inspecting the field with a magnifying glass?

She’s a Celtic fan, desperately searching for their chance of winning!

What’s with Jack’s detective act at the stadium?

He’s a Celtic fan, hoping to find a victory hidden in plain sight!

12. How does a Celtic fan survive a rainy match day?

They wear a green and white umbrella hat!

Of course, fans need umbrellas to protect themselves from the elements. This roast is a mockery on the colors of the Celtics. 

Why’s Sarah sporting that funky hat?

Rainy match day; she’s a Celtic fan, using her umbrella hat!

Seen Mark’s unique headgear?

Yeah, he’s a Celtic fan, ready for any weather with that umbrella hat!

13. Why does the Celtic fan have a calculator at the game?

 Funny Roasts for a Celtics Fan

To calculate their team’s odds of winning!

This is a roast mocking the Celtic fan about winning. It suggests that the celts are winning so much that a calculator is needed to keep scores. 

Why’s Tom crunching numbers at the match?

He’s a Celtic fan, calculating their slim odds of victory!

What’s with Jane’s calculator at the stadium?

She’s a Celtic fan, trying to figure out how many goals they need to win!

14. How does a Celtic fan make a toast?

With green and white toast bread!

This roast makes fun of the Celtic football club colors. It also suggests that rhe Celtic fan loves the colors so much that the colors show up in everything he does, even bread. 

Why’s Mike’s toast green and white?

He’s a Celtic fan, even his breakfast is in club colors!

Seen Lisa’s oddly colored toast?”

Yeah, she’s a Celtic fan, showing her support even during breakfast!

15. Why does the Celtic fan have a fishing rod at the stadium?

To catch a glimpse of their team’s success!

This roast mocks the success rate of a Celtic team. And takes a dig at the emotions of the Celtic fan. Bringing a fishing rod to the game to fish for a win is the lowest. 

Why’s Dave fishing at the match?

He’s a Celtic fan, hoping to reel in some success for his team!

What’s with Sarah’s fishing gear?

She’s a Celtic fan, trying to catch a glimpse of victory!

16. How does a Celtic fan play hide and seek?

They hide in the trophy cabinet – it’s empty!

This roast is perhaps the hardest hitting one for the Celtic fan. It takes a direct jab at the winning streak of the Celtics. The trophy cabinet is actually empty? No way. 

Why’s Jack hiding in the trophy cabinet?

He’s a Celtic fan, thinks it’s the safest place – it’s empty!

What’s with Emma’s hiding spot?

She’s a Celtic fan, trying to blend in with the trophies – but there aren’t any!

17. Why did the Celtic fan bring a telescope to the stadium?

To see their team’s future victories from afar!

For the Celtics, it’s all about success at the games. But this roast suggests that team has not been winning. The Celtic fan is forced to glimpse the future. Whether he will quit his team is yet to be seen. 

Why’s Mark looking through a telescope?

He’s a Celtic fan, trying to spot their future victories!

What’s with Kate’s stargazing equipment?

She’s a Celtic fan, hoping to see her team’s success on the horizon!

18. How does a Celtic fan keep warm during a cold match?

They wear a kilt made of green and white scarves!

This one takes a dig at the Celtic colors again. This fan is the fanatic. He wears the colors of the team everywhere—kilts of green and white scarves. 

Why’s Tom wearing that strange kilt?

It’s his Celtic fan outfit, keeps him warm with all those scarves!

Seen Amy’s unique attire?

Yeah, she’s a Celtic fan, rocking that scarf kilt to stay cozy at the game!

19. Why did the Celtic fan bring a compass to the match?

To find the direction their team’s luck is headed!

In this roast, the game has been south for the Celtics. The fan has come to their rescue with a compass. If he could at least check the direction of the game, maybe he could advice his team. 

Why’s Steve checking his compass?

He’s a Celtic fan, trying to gauge the direction of their luck!

What’s with Jane’s navigation tools?

She’s a Celtic fan, hoping to find where their luck is headed!

20. How does a Celtic fan practice for penalties?

 Funny Roasts for a Celtics Fan

They aim for the nearest pub’s dartboard!

This roast suggests that a Celtic fan and a pub are both friends made in heaven. Rather than be at the pitch supporting his team, he’s at the pub aiming at the dartboard. 

Why’s Dave throwing darts like that?

He’s a Celtic fan, practicing his penalty shots at the pub!

What’s with Sarah’s dart-throwing skills?

She’s a Celtic fan, honing her penalty precision for the next match!

Final Thoughts

Remember, this is a roast article. Roasts aren’t necessarily a representation of reality. The Celtics remain one of the most important football teams in Scotland and the world.

Their jerseys are won by folks all around the world. The Celtics have won numerous games. Most importantly, they have a strong fan base that loves the game as mich as the team players. 


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